#ifoughthard

[harborgracedesigns]

SURVIVOR of Prostate Cancer Stood Strong Fought Hard Won SVG Find it here: https://etsy.me/39N2x9p #AD

[xmaybeximxaxlionx]

Why? Just why?

I had written that huge post earlier, about how much I loved him, and what I wanted to believe to be true, but knew was wrong.

Why would you date her while still with me? Go visit her while still with me? Stray, and do the ONE THING you had promised not to do?

Why would you make me out to be crazy, you knew I was right. I asked over and over and over again, and you continued to lie to my face.

I knew it, and yet I still loved you, still wanted you, and still forgave you.

But, no. Now knowing for sure - and from the best friend no less - I don’t see a reason to chase you anymore.

“You won’t end up like my ex and the girl I cheated on her with”, but I did. And so did she. You cheated on both of us with one another, and lord knows how many other girls.

Why do I want to continue fighting for that? I don’t wanna fight to be hurt, to be put down, to be ignored when you flare a new “interest”.

You weren’t going to date her? She’s a rebound? You don’t even want to be a dad? These are things you said to me. And when we.. did “things” on August 15th, you were dating her.

I’m not fighting for that anymore. I’m not fighting for a guy who keeps texts, voicemails, and other such things with girls crying to him, begging him to come back, begging them to love him. Or the nudes, dating apps, videos of girls touching themselves, or proof of your unfaithfulness. I’m not fighting for this anymore.

Even at the end, you still tried to gaslight me. Narcissism. I don’t want it. I’m washing my hands if it.

You want to fool someone? Not me. I used to sit there and cry alone because YOU didn’t listen to me. I listened to everything you had to say, and considered it all the time. Don’t tell me I didn’t. I was always wrong, as you’d lay out everything directed at me, then console me and tell me it was your fault.

What a lie.

Leaving September 15th was the smartest, and healthiest thing I have done.

Begging you to let me stay? Begging you not to let me go? And you telling me it was for the best?

Yeah, the best for you and your NEW girlfriend you continued to lie about.

I loved you with the fire of a thousand suns, and I adored you more than a basket of kittens. You were my world, my love, my home. As long as I was with you? I could overlook all the bad, because I felt the good outweighed it.

Now? I realize how crazy YOU are. Not me. No.

I sent her a letter with only the best intentions FOR YOU. And that was stupid of me.

Changed your tune real quick when you saw I had proof. So. Go ahead. Tell people I was the bad guy, tell people I was to blame, I was crazy.

Honestly? The craziest things I did were smooth over your lies, look past your inability to listen to me and really try to understand what I meant, and love you with everything I had. I defended you to everyone who knew better, even though I knew better.

Its time to grow up, and be a man, not play these teenage mind games.

And yet, seeing as you were my first real time being in love? I still love you. But, I’m going to let you go.

Get help. Really, get help. You need it.