Thinking about my Mario AUs again aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm going to list literally all the ones I can find and/or remember even if I haven't actually posted about them before or I don't have or remember any real details beyond the concept
Feel free to send me asks about any of them
Ifverse - A variation of SPM that ties into the lore and backstory of my Discord RP Self-Insert, which may have expanded to also include versions of some of my other AUs such as Chapter 5 Marioless, Senbazuru, and possibly even Shadows
Miraculous Bros - High School AU meets Human AU meets Miraculous Ladybug
The Shadows of the Past - TTYD Chapter 4 but Mario loses his memory and doesn't get his identity back immediately
Phantom Shadows on the Floor - Shadows AU but the amnesiac Mario gets recruited by the Three Shadows
Chapter 5 Marioless - SPM Chapter 5 but Mario gets captured by the Floro Sapiens early on
Vlogger AU - Mario & Luigi series but the bros have a vlog
Broswap AU - SPM but Mario & Luigi swap roles in the prophecy
Mr Bros AU - Mr L captures Mario after their first battle and now there are two brainwashed brothers
Origami King But Mr L Is There - Exactly what the title says
Dreamyswap AU - Dream Team but Luigi is the one entering Mario's dreams
Senbazuru AU - Mario makes a wish that lets him redo the events of Origami King in the hopes of keeping Bobby and Olivia alive this time
Starshine Headliner - Temple of the Sun Chapter 4 but [redacted so I don't spoil it for my friends who have yet to read and don't know the events of Chapter 4 normally yet]
Guardians of Night - Temple of the Sun but instead of the Guardians of Day dying it's the Guardians of Night
Bobby Lives AU - Exactly what it says, Bobby doesn't die
Superswap AU - SPM but Tippi and Bleck swap roles
Paper Jam Uncut - My attempt at brainstorming an actual fun story for Paper Jam
Legion in Paris - My Legion of Stationery goes to Miraculous Paris after Origami King
Co-op Madness - Mr L is still around in Luigi's head after SPM, and when Luigi's Mansion 3 comes around they can swap who's in control of the actual body and who's in Gooigi
The Sticker Star Live-Edit Expanded Universe - I get trapped in the role of a narrator for Sticker Star and try to do my best to fix the story as it goes along with no prior planning, while Mario can hear and interact with me
World Minus 1 - Mario can weaponize glitches and exploits present in the games themselves while on his actual adventures
Papernauts AU - Raz from Psychonauts ends up in Paper Mario as a partner
Somari AU - I try to flesh out the bootleg game Somari or something, look I want to do it but all I have are a couple random sketches
Syzygy - An AU of Infundo (post-Infundo Chronicles).
Chapter 2: Phase I Trials
Chapter 2 Summary: Talking through the baby steps. Together.
Link to Chapter 1
Author notes: This a ridiculously short chapter, so no “read more” tags needed. Also my posting schedule will be Tuesdays, until I’m stuck in the story and haven’t caught up to my writing schedule.
****
Truth was they couldn't start right away, not without enough data. It took a good two months of Tony and Bruce meticulously analyzing Bruce's metabolism. After tirelessly testing his food consumption, mobility, and sleep habits - and adjusting Bed with different "supplements" Bruce could enjoy throughout the day - they pinpointed the handful theories holding some promise.
"You know," Tony said, eyes scanning the floaty blue diagram of Bruce's body. "We haven't taken one thing into account."
Bruce spread his fingers, further blowing up his body's image while concentrating on the data. He noted a few interesting nuances but his thoughts floated in and out of reality so he didn't pick up on Tony's brainstorm. "I thought you agreed with me on the finer details."
"In theory, I guess, but you didn't like my other suggestion. You know it'd help, in the long run."
Bruce nibbled his lip and cautiously turned his effigy on its axis. His belly became a mountain, high and proud, rising above all the data points. "I'm not sure it would. There's a good chance it'll aggravate the Other Guy, resulting in an unscheduled Code Green."
"True, true." Tony nodded and fiddled with another data stream. "But speed, Brucie. It's a faster way. What we have right now might work, sure. But it may take a while before we get close. Years, even. You wanna wait that long?"
Bruce grimaced and spun his figure around, unnecessarily. "You know I don't. But I've put the cart before the horse before and the results weren't pretty."
"I dunno. Green still suits you."
Bruce glowered over the schematic readings, ignoring him.
"I'm just sayin', Bruce. Think about it."
Bruce remained mum but Tony knew he'd planted the seed.
**
Although the first test week was adequate, Bruce didn't get the results he'd wanted.
"Less than a kilogram? That's it?"
"Well, we're fightin' nature, Big Guy. I can adjust the formulas of the current weight gain drinks and powders but you still need to consume it fast enough to override your body's heightened abilities."
"It's still not...bad," Steve murmured. "It's some gain, right?" But even he looked a little disappointed.
"I know, I know." Bruce ran a hand through his curls and they toppled over his scalp like loose springs. "There has to be a faster way, though."
Steve gestured at the data pulled from Jarvis. "Is there anything else we could do? I mean, it doesn't look appetizing but you could try one of those heavy duty Vitamix blenders and liquefy your solid foods."
Bruce made a face. "I'd rather not vomit, thanks." He grimaced at his boyfriends. "The problem is trying to eat beyond my point of feeling stuffed. We have to increase my caloric intake but the gains don't last when I'm not physically able to eat enough or fast enough."
Tony rocked on his heels, leveling his steeliest gaze in Bruce's direction. "You know my thoughts, Banner."
Bruce held up a stern hand. "No. I refuse. I told you before it's not safe."
Steve frowned. "What's not safe?"
Bruce briefly glanced at Tony who made a curt go ahead, tell him gesture. "It's...possibly faster."
"Guaranteed faster."
"Allegedly faster," Bruce said a little louder, in case Tony didn't hear him the first time. "I'm not risking massive property damage just to gain a pound or two."
"We could use the Green Room in the basement."
Bruce rolled his eyes. "Not you too, Steve."
"Well maybe I want in on the secrets. The two of you can't keep discussing options without me, because I'm as much a part of our family as you two are."
Bruce and Tony traded uncomfortable glances. "Sorry," Bruce muttered.
"Agreed. We should've included you in the science stuff." Tony made a face at Bruce. "We might as well tell him, mind if I--?"
Bruce sighed testily. "Be my guest. You were going to, anyway."
"Right," Tony murmured, and for penance from pushing his portly bf a little too much he gave Bruce a small peck on his forehead. "It's one option that yields good results: fasting."
"Fasting?" A scowl marred Steve's features. "Isn't that the opposite of what we're trying to do?"
"Yes and no. If we do it right it'll make Bruce hungrier and he'll overeat, even beyond the levels he's eating now. Every five days we can switch up his eating routine."
"And beyond that," Bruce said, sheepishly glancing down. "I've been...working on a few experimental compounds to quicken the results. But I haven't tested my hypothesis and I'm a little unsure of the outcome.
"But fasting..." Bruce paused and sighed. He ran a chubby hand through his curls and nibbled his bottom lip. "Fasting is problematic because it potentially riles the Other Guy. I hope the compound I'm developing works because I'm hesitant to try anything that threatens my calm."
Tony rolled his eyes. "We've got this, hon'. You know we do. We have the Hulk pod in the basement, and you could even stay down there while you get hungry. Not that you'd want to. And Steve and I'll get your favorite take out, after we're done. Double portions of everything."
Bruce's eyes narrowed, and Tony swore he saw a little green. "We've never tested the containment pod. I've never had a need to, and I've never felt in danger since I've been here. I'd rather not unless there are no other options."
"Suit yourself," Tony said, shrugging. "Five years is an awfully long wait for a goal weight, though."
Bruce made another face. "Too long."
"So go for broke," Steve sighed.
"Exactly,” Tony said. “What harm could it do?"
Bruce locked eyes with Tony. "You don't want the answer to that question."
Having heard enough, Steve sauntered over to his favorite scientists. He slung an arm over both their shoulders (though his reach strained over Bruce’s wide back), and gave both a peck on the cheek. "I think the answer is staring all of us in the face," he told them, and both Tony and Bruce gave him the side-eye.
"It is?"
"You know something we don't?” Tony snarked. “Impossible."
Steve chuckled softly. "Bruce, I know It's not something you really like doing, but the Hulk is part of you. And you eat more after a Hulk-out, don't you?"
Bruce folded his arms and planted his feet, as unyielding as a marble statue of himself. "But I also use up a lot of calories. It's a zero-sum game."
Steve nudged Bruce with his chin and immediately Bruce settled into his warm arms. "Muffin. I think both you and Tony will come up with a plan that'll work, but I don't want either of you over-stressing." His gaze flickered to Tony, who finally caved, lips breaking into a small smile. "We'll figure it out. I'm thinkin' maybe we try a little of everything, yeah? Can we start out slowly, just to see what'll happen? We have time. The answer doesn't have to come today."
"Hmm," Bruce sighed. "I guess so."
"Yeah, okay," Tony grumbled. "I guess he's right."
"You're welcome." He kissed Bruce's temple and held out his other hand for Tony to take it. "Tonight, let's enjoy each other's company. A little food, and fun."
"Don't have to tell me twice," Tony said, quickly shutting down their work station.
* *
Part three: https://burlybanner.tumblr.com/post/186018435219/syzygy-3
The Reaper did not always have a twin; in fact, she was without one for the longest time. But, on the day she first met Judgement and was claimed as her daughter, her shadow fell upon a world in a dark mirror and took physical form. This reflection was her opposite in every way--where The Reaper showed kindness, her twin cruelty; where she was as fire, so was her twin as ice.
The Reaper had no knowledge of her twin's newfound existence, and so when one day, her reflection spoke and acted of its own accord, she could only find herself agape with shock. The memory of the dark mirror she had once entered did not even begin to cross her mind, and so, she approached in curiosity. She gave no notice to the strange blue scar running behind the left eye of the figure in the mirror.
The Reaper was thus unprepared as this strange doppelganger reached outside the confines of the glass, seizing her by the wrist and drawing her through into the reflection. The next she knew, she was bound, gazing at the true form of her captor--in appearance, now revealed to be a dark copy of herself.
The Reaper had fallen snare to a ruse, this other her chided with a sneer, and was not left to her mercy--or rather, lack thereof. But though one would assume the shadow meant the threat of death by these words, you would be mistaken--as The Reaper's twin knew her original was beyond her ability to destroy. Instead, she explained with a cruel smile, she had decided in all her cunning to take control of The Reaper, so as to claim her power under her own rule.
The Reaper refused this claim, swearing that her mother, Judgement, would still be want to cast vengeance upon the twin for this offence. But she only laughed at this, slyly explaining that she had considered this as well--but it would not be an issue, for when Judgement was to come, she would be forced to face her own daughter in battle. And with that, the twin cast her spell over The Reaper, ensnaring both her mind and body with a deep-rooted frost.
But soon, as The Reaper had sworn, Judgement arrived in fury, armed with gavel and sword as she sought the one who had stolen away her daughter. When she came across the twin, she demanded the safe return of The Reaper, or else she would bring down her wrath. In response, the twin obliged, and with a grin revealed The Reaper was now under her command.
A fierce battle ensued between Judgement and her corrupted child, but in the end, the former was victorious and cast off the spell the later had been placed under. The twin was angered by this, her plan having been undone, and so she in vain spat curses at Judgement. Judgement, in return, replied with this: that The Reaper should be left in charge of her twin's punishment, free to do whatever she deemed fit. The Reaper, wishing to repay what had been done to her with a similar irony, declared that she would seal the twin within a broken mirror, always to be kept on her person. So as her twin had sought dominion over her, would she be confined to a similar state of helplessness.
The twin, once she was such confined, responded by swearing with a cold fury that she would not take this peacefully--instead, assuring that she would find a way to hone her craft with mirror and ice, to be able to reach out and pose as the reflections of others, as she had posed as that of her origin prior. There, she vowed, she would do all that was in her power to turn others to do her own will, contrary to that of The Reaper.
So be wary, all, of your reflection, if it ever may have a blue crack behind its eye--for it may be that The Reaper's twin has come, in attempt to trick you into fulfilling her own desires. And perchance, if one is unlucky, try and use you to escape her fate.
Somebody call my name or simply say the words to guide me home
Tell me it’s not all in my head but, why not? I don’t know
Tomorrow’s pain from yesterday’s wounds, I’ve just gotta shake it off
So pull the thread and sew together all the pieces
--Lizz Robinett
Send me a sign, some god on high, show me the words I need to know
So say I'm fine and clear my mind 'cause why not? I don't know
Facing a new day with a new pain, rocking up and down the night
Ripping at seams, I beg and plead, just sew me up again
Syzygy - An AU of Infundo (post-Infundo Chronicles).
Chapter 5: Phase Trials 2
Chapter 5 Summary: Dr. Banner and Mr. Hulk.
Link to Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4
**
Giving Hulk control wasn't as easy as just saying it, though. Bruce definitely wanted Steve to observe - preferably Steve and Tony both. "He hasn't earned this level of trust," he admitted. "And I'm not comfortable with him in the driving seat."
"He knows that," Tony huffed. Tony seemed a lot more at ease with the prospect that Bruce ever would be. "He's been itchin' to come out, sure, but he knows the two of you have to share the one body. He's more okay with it than you give him credit for."
Bruce grit his teeth. "I know you trust him, since he saved your life and all - "
"You both did."
"Nevertheless," Bruce said, cutting him off. "He's very unpredictable. Even with my resolve he has moments of wanting to break free and I will never, ever feel comfortable giving him control. The whole 'give an inch' idiom is extremely à propos. Give him an inch, and he'll take a fucking planet. You have to watch him."
"Yeah, yeah. Okay, Banner."
"I mean it." Of course Hulk vehemently disagreed, but Bruce stuffed him down. "This isn't a game, it's my life. And by proxy, his. You can't fuck around."
Tony quieted at the urgency Bruce pressed on him and rubbed the back of his neck. "Fine, we'll 'watch' him, or whatever. But I'll prove to you that there's nothing to worry about. You'll see."
"I intend to," Bruce said. Part of the compromise included wearing a body camera every night, to see what Hulk saw and hear what Hulk heard. "I'll review the data each morning. And if I see anything untoward, the experiment's over. Done. No second chances."
Tony almost rolled his eyes but chose not to after Bruce shot him a deadly glare. "It'll be fine," he said.
"I hope so," Bruce muttered. But even if they tried it, he wasn't one hundred percent sure Hulk wouldn't do something against his will. Regardless of what he told the others.
**
"Is everything set?"
"For the fiftieth time, Banner--!"
"Stop." Steve felt Tony's shoulder's tense; he was practically vibrating. While Bruce thought Tony was acting cocky, Steve knew Tony's worry was equally high - he just had a weird way of showing it. "We're ready. D'you think you're relaxed enough to sleep?"
"I kinda have to be, don't I?" The nervous chuckle Bruce gave was less than reassuring. "I mean, unless he can take over when I'm wide awake, without me knowing."
Bruce was half-kidding and they could hear his gallows humor loud and clear. Ultimately losing himself to Hulk scared Bruce most, whether or not he voiced it. "We've got this, Muffin," Steve said, and he wrapped his arms as far as they could go around Bruce's midsection. "I'll take point tonight, Tony tomorrow night."
Bruce pointed to Tony. "You're sleeping in your nanosuit, right?"
Tony tapped his chest, and the lights woven into his shirt fabric glowed. "Not as comfy as I'd like, but I'm on backup. Trust us, Pooh. We got this."
"And I'm all set," Steve said, tugging his earlobe. "Jarvis has me connected. I won't miss anything."
"Okay...okay."
Bruce was anything but okay, though, so Steve held out his hands. "C'mon, let's try it," he said, waiting for Bruce to take his hands. He gently guided them back to their bed, crawled on top of the sheets, and motioned between his legs. "Sit."
Bruce's cheeks pinked up, but he swallowed and lumbered across the sheets to settle between Steve's legs. "Now lay back."
"Steve--"
"Do it."
Bruce huffed, but followed Captain America's command. Steve hid his smile; he'd unearthed small ways that calmed his boys, and as much as Bruce fought against the truth he loved Steve cuddling and nurturing him. He initially pretend not to, but Steve felt how quickly tension left Bruce's body when he took control and treated Bruce special. Bruce only accepted the whole, "I'm in charge, I can handle you" treatment from Steve.
And boy, did he take to it.
Steve widened his stance a little more, feeling his body respond as Bruce nestled in. Over the past few weeks he'd noticed Bruce's broadening backside, even if Bruce didn't. "That's it," Steve whispered. Bruce let out a small sigh as Steve cocooned him as much as he could. His arms couldn't reach around like they used to, but they could cuddle.
"Can I be jealous? I think I've got room to be jealous."
Steve chuckled and patted the bed’s edge. "There's plenty of room for both of you on this bed, Tony."
"Mm," Bruce let out a lengthy sigh. Steve could feel Bruce's body sink into his as they all flirted with sleep. He lightly fingered Bruce's curls, easing him further in. "Not for long."
Steve snorted and grabbed a pillow so Tony could lean against his left side. "Not for long," he agreed. "We'll make you into a marshmallow man yet."
"Now that I'd like to see," Tony said, yawning.
Me too, Steve thought, but he didn't voice it.
**
Captain Rogers.
Steve stirred. What--?
Steve. Captain Rogers.
"Uh?" He blinked. What time was it?
Sorry to disturb you, but you did ask me to alert you.
Steve tapped his ear as he became fully conscious. "Jarvis?"
Yes, Captain Rogers. I'm speaking from your earpiece. You asked me to alert you when Doctor Banner woke - he is currently on the move, and headed for the nearest kitchen.
"Oh, right. On my way."
Steve frowned; he should've felt Hulk’s movements, at the very least. Glancing at the other side of the bed Tony was snoring up a storm. Hulk hadn't disturbed Tony either, apparently.
"Jarvis?" He whispered. "Is Bruce...Bruce right now, or Hulk?"
The AI paused.
Apologies, sir. It's impossible to determine at this time.
Great. What the hell did that mean?
"Okay..." Steve made a face and put on his sweats before heading towards the north kitchen. Guess he'd figure it out when he got there. If it was bad he'd tell Jarvis to alert Tony, but he honestly had no clue what to expect.
In hindsight, they really should've asked Hulk more questions when he showed up.
**
As Steve skittered around the kitchen corner, the only thing he noticed was the wide-open fridge door. He'd come from the opposite side expecting to see Hulk towering over the kitchen island, but he didn't see Hulk. He heard intense munching from inside the refrigerator instead.
"Bruce?" He whispered.
"Grrah... No Banner! Hulk!"
What on earth...?
Steve padded over cautiously and peered over the fridge door. It certainly looked like Bruce, crouched and hunched inside the icebox. But there was something...animalistic about Bruce’s demeanor. Large crumbs and half-eaten empty dishes surrounded him while a mountain of food detritus stained the front of his shirt. He hunkered over a casserole dish with a turkey leg, and used said turkey leg to scoop up whatever existed in the casserole dish.
"Is Hulk!" He repeated loudly, spewing food in every direction. He glared at Steve from half-slit eyes and dug his turkey leg into the dish, taking another huge bite. Food bits fell off the turkey and down his robe.
Steve's mouth flew open. He couldn't help but stare a few beats before speaking. "Uh, wow. Now I see it." Hulk was in charge, but he'd kept Bruce small.
Incredible, Steve thought.
"Hmm!" Hulk-Bruce grunted and slammed the turkey leg into his chest as if asserting dominance. "Banner isn't Hulk. Hulk is Hulk. Hulk will make Banner like Hulk!"
Steve couldn't help the grin that suddenly teased the corners of his lips. "You're doing a great job, Hulk," he told him, and Hulk nodded proudly before tearing into the meat.
"Banner's still too puny," Hulk laughed. His voice was a hybrid between Bruce and Hulk's, low and rough with Bruce's timbre. "Hulk can make Banner all chubby, like Banner wants. But Hulk wants real food."
Steve scratched his chin, trying to decipher what Hulk meant. "Do you mean you like different things?"
Hulk grunted and used the turkey leg as a pointer. "Like that,” he growled, pointing to a casserole. “And that. Those are good. Not this." He pointed to a cake.
"Hmm." Steve pursed his lips, musing over the new information. It looked like Hulk liked meat and fried foods, but Bruce typically went for sweets. "Got it. We can have it ready tomorrow, Br--er, Hulk. Just tell us what you want."
"Mm. Good," Hulk muttered. He used the back of his arm to wipe away the food covering his chin and lips. "More of that," he said, pointing to cold fried chicken. "More grease."
"Anything else?" Steve started taking notes in his head. "You can have anything you want."
Hulk perked up, eyes widening. "Anything?"
Within reason, Steve thought, but he wasn't going to deny Hulk if he kept eating like this. "Sure," Steve said. "Name it."
**
"Oh my God." Bruce held his head in his hands as he reviewed the footage early next morning. "Steve, why the hell did you tell him--"
"C’mon, it's not that bad, Pooh Bear."
Bruce's eyebrow quirked as he glared at Tony.
"You're kidding, right?"
Tony shrugged. "It's not impossible."
Steve wrinkled his nose. "I can't understand how he knew."
"He sees everything I do, but he doesn't understand it. That's the problem." Bruce belched and rubbed his tummy. The stuffing from Hulk's night raid hurt, but he hoped to be hungry for lunch later. "There’s no way we can get all that crap. Even if we did, who the fuck could cook it?"
Tony smirked. "Leave it to me. I've got four-star chefs in my back pocket. If anyone knows, they will."
"He'd never know," Bruce muttered, even as Hulk roared in his head. "You could cook anything. He'd eat it."
Tony held up a hand. "Nothin' doin'. My Green Bean wants what he wants, and I'll get it for him hell or high water."
"That's what I'm afraid of," Bruce said, sighing miserably.
Christ. He felt ill.
**
Steve turned off the Hulk footage after viewing it with Tony for the third time. They both agreed it was practically pornographic, but they needed to see it again. For research.
Yep. Research.
"So? Thoughts?"
Tony shrugged, bumping Steve's shoulder. Feeling frisky Tony ran his stocking foot up Steve's leg and Steve had a feeling the three of them would enjoy themselves later.
"It's not as dire as Bruce makes it and honestly, I bet he's secretly pleased. Hulk totally behaved himself, totally stuffed our boy with some high dollar menu items. I have a feeling we'll appreciate the results in a pretty short time."
Steve grinned as his face got hot. "You should've been there, Tony. Hulk's an eating dynamo, nothin’ stopping him. He got filthy, though. Made him take a shower before we went back to bed."
"Bet Hulkie loved that," Tony laughed. "Can't imagine him wanting to take a shower, by any stretch."
"Nah. It was okay. He liked me scrubbing him down. In fact, I think...well."
Tony perked up and maneuvered his body to catch Steve's eye. "What?"
Steve scratched his neck and sheepishly looked away. "I think Hulk enjoys sharing Bruce's body, like last night. It gives him another perspective he doesn't normally have. I got the feeling he wants to take over Bruce’s body more often."
"Hm." Tony's expression sobered. "Don't let Bruce hear you say that. He'll go apeshit."
"I know. He's already concerned about their boundaries and this sharing thing is stressful for Bruce. But is it bad? I mean, Hulk would still be 'out' more or less. But there wouldn't be any property damage. Bruce wouldn't have to worry about Hulk making a mess."
"But he's also blind to Hulk’s actions," Tony countered. "And there's no guarantee Hulk wouldn't take over their body and swell it green if he got mad enough." Tony tsked between his teeth. "I dunno, Steve. I'd keep that between you and me. If Bruce decides he wants more he'll tell us, but I'm kinda iffy on that front."
"Yeah," Steve sighed. "Maybe you're right."
"I am," Tony said. He clasped Steve's arm. "Don't fall into the trap. Hulk is a good bro but Bruce is right; you've gotta watch him. He'll take whatever you give him, and weasel for more."
"Like what he wants for dinner," Steve moaned.
Tony laughed. "Yeah. Like that. I got it set up, though. The caterers'll have it ready by 11 tonight. Just in time for our Green Bean to dig in."
"Can't believe you found someone to cook that...stuff," Steve mumbled. He ran a hand down his face. "You got it so damn fast."
"Oh? Didn't you know?" Tony plastered on his sharkiest, snarkiest grin and held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Tony Stark. I get shit done."
Syzygy - An AU of Infundo (post-Infundo Chronicles).
Chapter 4: Food for Thought
Chapter 4 Summary: Test results and lots of fast food bring about dangerous breakthroughs and cautious conclusions.
Link to Chapter 1, 2, 3
**
With the three of them working more earnestly than before, Bruce allowed a few tests that week that he would've normally nixed. Like using Tony's idea of fasting, which worked. A little too well, actually, since yes Hulk did make an appearance. Hulk was none too happy about starving "chubby Banner" ("Hey, at least he didn't say 'puny,'" Tony told Bruce, after the fact). Some small comfort, he supposed.
"What did I say?" Bruce growled. It wasn't much of a growl, though. He was too tired to be any more menacing than a kitten. "Now we're back to square one."
"No, we're not."
“According to what logic?”
Tony had that look in his eye, the one Bruce hated, the one of foreboding and horribly dark mysteries. Tony tapped his lip as he paced the Hulk Room. "Well, you were out, so you didn't hear all of us talking."
Bruce blinked blearily at him. "Who?"
"Me, Steve, and Hulk. We had a long conversation."
Bruce stared at him like he'd grown a third head. "You what?"
"Oh, don't act like that. You know he's nowhere near as clueless as you'd like him to be and he knows exactly what we're doing. Exactly."
Bruce gulped when Tony came nearly nose-to-nose with him while sporting a maniacal grin. "And I think he understands 'your' body better than you do."
"He most certainly does not," Bruce fired back, affronted and downright indignant. "I'd like to see his degrees in biochemistry and biophysics."
"Hah. He doesn't need 'em," Tony said. He winked at Bruce and pulled back from Bruce's space. "He just told me he's Santa Claus. 'Cause he sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake."
"That's not at all ominous." Bruce ran a hand under his chin, "feeling" the Hulk's deep chuckle inside his core. At the same time Steve sauntered in carrying no fewer than ten take-out bags, and Bruce's hunger took over. "Gimme," he commanded, grasping the air.
Grinning, Steve tossed a bag over and Bruce tore into the first sandwich he found. He ravenously wolfed down three large bites before saying another word. "Mmm. Yes. And Tony, I was already goin' over it in my head--"
"Sure ya were."
"Shut up. I was." Bruce realized he was being mean but he was starving, dammit. He shoved the rest of the burger in his mouth and groped for fries. "Did you get--"
"Shakes," Steve said, handing him a nondescript bag, suspiciously different from the others. But Bruce didn’t care and tore into the bag, immediately clutching hold of a frosty shake. He began gulping it like water and missed the small exchange between Tony and Steve.
"Mmm," Bruce moaned. He ogled the container. "Why's this so delicious?"
"Additives," Tony said, grinning at Steve. "Courtesy of Mean Green. He knew you'd like 'em."
"Swirled in sweetened condensed milk," Steve admitted. "With malted milk powder, melted fudge, flavored syrup and a heavy cream whip."
"And the pièce de résistance, two scoops of the gainer recipe you invented."
Bruce knit his brows and paused as he slurped down the dregs of the frozen treat. "I was still analyzing the compounds."
"Well, fine, but Hulk knew your formula was ready to go, chilling in your office fridge. He told us so we could put your hypothesis to good use when you shrunk back."
"He had no right," Bruce growled, but he rooted around another bag for some fries. "Wasn't finished with the clinical trials."
"Probably thought you needed a push," Tony said, smirking. He fed Bruce another hamburger so he could two-fist his fries with a burger.
"Hulk gave us some good ideas," Steve said, and his face was flushed as he watched Bruce down his food with gusto. "Including the sleeping problem."
"Wha' sheepin' prob'em?" It was tough to understand Bruce with his fat cheeks chipmunk full, and the angry look on his face bordered on comical.
"He knows how to make you sleepwalk," Tony said.
"And sleep eat," Steve clarified. "In fact, he's done it before."
Bruce's eyes shrunk to angry slits as he swallowed his mouthful. He chomped into his fries, ferociously shaking his head. "That's abusive. I didn't consent."
"He said he only did it once, when you were passed out from hunger in India, or some other remote place. He had to, or you'd've died." Bruce tore into his sandwich, jaw working bitterly at Tony's revelation. "He can still access that part of your brain but he promised not to, unless you're willing to let him."
"That's an unacceptably high risk," Bruce complained. Steve offered him a soda and he snatched it from him. "That fuckin' sneaky motherfucker--"
"Bruce," Tony sighed. "He's asking you now. He could've done it without you but he told us, so we could ask on his behalf. So do you want his help, or not?"
Bruce made a face, even as Steve handed him fries and another shake, and he swirled his fries in the thick chocolate malt. "That's not the point," Bruce said, pouting.
"I think you're just mad he came up with it and you didn't."
Bruce rolled his eyes and screwed up his face, looking way closer to the Hulk than Tony figured Bruce would've liked. "Not. Even. Remotely. True."
"Quit fussing and finish your food," Steve said, not unkindly. But he was hiding his laugh.
Bruce fumed and suffered silently as he systematically worked through the food bags, but he begrudgingly agreed with their assessment. It solved an issue he'd been mulling over, regarding the night feedings. He'd originally considered an IV but Hulk's admission could potentially produce a better result. But doing so meant giving Hulk unconscious control, and Bruce scoffed at the very notion. He and Hulk had boundaries for a reason. Giving Him absolute control wore those boundaries painfully thin.
"Let me think about it," He murmured while forlornly poking the depleted bags of food. "But is there...any more? I'm, ah. I think I'm still pretty hungry."
"Sure there is," Steve said. He smirked at Tony while tossing another bag to Bruce.
Bruce's eyes widened. Along with extra burgers and fries Steve added one of his favorites, Shake Shack's specialty frozen concrete dessert.
Yum.
"Mmm," he sighed, finally calming down. He hiccuped twice and rubbed his belly. Well, he supposed he could conclude that the gainer formula worked better than he expected - he was definitely hungrier than after a normal Hulk-out, and he could choke down twice as much (the double-SmokeShack burgers and sodas, fries, shakes, and desserts barely made a dent).
But only time would tell if nightly feedings would help or harm.
**
The week's next weigh-in yielded better results and Bruce was nearly satisfied.
"There we go," Tony crowed. "Two and a half kilos. That's definitely progress. At this rate, you'll be where you want in twenty or so months. Not bad."
Steve was over the moon while sporting a goofy grin and Bruce, although quite pleased, realized he had more options.
"Good," he huffed. He tugged at his tighter belt, determined that this would be the last week he could fit in his current khakis. "But I can do better. So I'm in."
"In, as in--?"
"Hulk and I agreed. I'm gonna let him take the reins," he said. "Starting tonight."
Syzygy - An AU of Infundo (post-Infundo Chronicles).
Chapter 3: Indulgences and Definitions
Chapter 3 Summary: Bruce has two individual epiphanies with his partners.
Link to Chapter 1, 2
Author notes: Sorry for the last minute late post - but yes, still keeping the posting schedule to Tuesdays for the most part.
**
Bruce stirred from sleep still a bit stuffed and rubbed his belly. He was sore all over from everything they'd done but it was a good feeling; he felt warm, loved, and safe...and maybe a little hungry? Was it possible he felt hungry and stuffed at -- he glanced at the clock -- 3:30 in the morning?
He pondered it before preparing to roll himself from the bed. In the beginning of their relationship he'd slept between Steve and Tony, but as big as he’d gotten he clung to their bed’s edges now, becoming the big or (not-so) little spoon to them. Because he was so huge it was impossible not to wake Tony or Steve if he got up in the middle of the night.
He loved their ridiculously comfortable bed though, and had second thoughts about leaving it despite his hunger pangs. A tiny smirk teased his lips. We'll need a sturdier bed later. Random future thoughts of bed-bound joy shot tiny, happy currents of electricity through his body. It took longer than average to do every day tasks like getting out of bed or sitting down despite being mostly mobile now. But future him wouldn't need to worry about such nonsense things.
Bruce’s gut rumbled and groaned, echoing his greedy, lustful appetite. Giving his stomach a small placating pat, Bruce rocked, scooted and shifted his demanding body off the mattress. When Tony softly grunted and Steve's breathing hitched Bruce froze, wondering if he'd woken them. But no. He sighed softly as they returned to their regular sleeping patterns after a beat. Besides, if they did wake for whatever reason they'd know where he'd be and they could join him in the kitchen.
He grabbed his robe (a robe that barely fit, the same robe Tony and Steve swaddled on cold nights) and slowly shuffled to the closest kitchen. He'd be out of breath halfway, but no matter; he had a feeling Tony would cobble together a kitchenette off their bedroom, once walking became too bothersome.
Humming, Bruce grabbed fried chicken, gravy, mashed potato leftovers and the corn casserole from the fridge and loaded his plate. For good measure he also grabbed ice cream, chocolate cake, and a spoon, nibbling on the sweets while the dinner foods warmed in the microwave. His mind wandered as he waited. A nightly feeding routine had merit. Doing would exhaust him, but he’d consider it. He could sleep during the day. Or catnap.
Alternately, he could modify a sumo wrestler’s diet to fit his needs, but he had a sneaking suspicion he was already consuming more calories than the average sumo, just to maintain his weight.
Steve was right. The answer was in front of them, somewhere. So maybe, if he combined Tony and Steve's ideas with his own, and reexamined the Hulk threshold, maybe adding a nightly feeding schedule to boot...
Hmm. It might work.
"Muffin?"
Bruce smiled at Steve's sleepy grin and popped another spoonful of chocolate cake and ice cream in his mouth. "Just got a little peckish."
"So I see." Steve's sleepy grin morphed into something diabolical. "Sit," he said, gesturing at a bar stool at the kitchen island. "You shouldn't waste extra energy by preparing your own meals." Bruce's stool was a little more squat than the others and heavily reinforced. Tony threatened to make the other stools the same for symmetry's sake but he'd never gotten around to it. Bruce honestly didn't mind. He liked having his "own" kitchen seat.
He snorted at Steve's quip and calmly watched the man grab a bowl from the cabinet; Steve wouldn't let him off the hook until he sat and obeyed him.
"So, Bruce. What's got you up at this hour, besides food?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"More than." He grabbed the hot food from the microwave as Bruce piled ice cream into a bowl and added his toppings - the "good" ice cream toppings, according to Tony.
Steve put the ice cream back in the freezer and gestured to Bruce's food. "Eat up. And tell me what's bothering you."
Bruce hummed appreciatively. He took time to answer, though. He wolfed down half his food before gently clearing his throat. "The pros and cons, I suppose," he murmured.
"Of what Tony's proposing?"
Nodding, Bruce took a few big bites from the chicken before loading up his spoon with the corn dish. "That, and more. I have some ideas, and I think I have something that might work."
"Oh?"
Bruce smirked and shoveled the corn casserole into his mouth. "Mmf," he said, mouth half full. "It's half of what's bugging me."
Steve watched him finish his chicken and casserole before silently piling more mashed potatoes to his plate. "Thanks."
Steve went to the fridge and dumped shredded cheese and butter pats to the rest of Bruce's heated mashed potatoes. "What's the other half, then?"
Bruce twirled his fork through the cheese and fluffed it together, and as he ate small contented noises rose from his throat. "Ooh, yeah. Perfect," he snuffled before scarfing it. "Mm. 'Kay. So...it's cosmetic."
"Cosmetic?"
"Yeah." Bruce’s fork scraped across his empty plate and he mechanically dug into the cake and ice cream, missing Steve slyly replenishing his dessert whenever Bruce looked close enough to finishing. "It took me this long to appear 'human' to people; to be normal. Sure, I'm pretty hefty, but I'm still functionally normal." He belched behind a curved fist before returning to his plate. He tucked into his next helping of cake and spoke with his mouth full. "I get a few odd stares now, but they're the stares guys my size normally get. I kinda get a kick out of that, to be honest."
Steve chuckled right along with him and grabbed chocolate sauce from the fridge. "So? What's the real issue?"
"The real issue," Bruce sighed, loading up his fork. "Is the monster I see myself bec...oh, that is amazing." He finally realized Steve heated up the chocolate sauce, then poured it over his cake and ice cream. His double chin quivered as he shoved giant bites in his mouth, trying to get in every last crumb of deliciousness.
"Don't choke yourself," Steve teased. But his small smile quickly faded. "You're not a monster. You know that."
Bruce shrugged, but he didn't say anything else until his fork clattered across the empty dessert plate. "Not consciously, no. But I've gotta ask myself, am I coming to terms with it? Is it so bad to be one, really? To own it? I'm not a hundred percent human - and neither are you," he amended, when Steve tried interrupting. "Or half of the Avengers, if we really think about it. Even Tony's genius puts him out of the human category, into something more like super...hm. Super humanity."
"Super human?"
"No. That phrase is trite and beyond overdone. Super humanity has more heart, and creates a space for people like us, as well as others." He pat his full stomach, feeling more at ease, momentarily mesmerized at how his huge belly jiggled with each pat. "I've begun owning the word 'fat,'" he mumbled, squeezing his rolls beneath his strained pajama top. "Maybe I can reclaim the word 'monster,' too."
"I'm sure you can, if anyone can do it," Steve said. He opened the freezer back up and took out the ice cream, and grabbed a fresh spoon. "But you're still my Muffin regardless. So let me make sure you're good and full before you wake up again, because you’re hungry."
Bruce smiled softly and opened his mouth as Steve spoon fed him the rest of the ice cream.
***
Still, that night got Bruce thinking; the key wasn't one individualized goal. Maybe, like a monster, he could go all out. Let the journey take flight on its own. He could hang on for the ride and chart its progress.
Dangerous thinking, Banner, he cautioned. The last time he metaphorically let it ride, he had a Hulk for his trouble. But maybe having three consciences would bring out better circumstances. Among the three of them he had a brain, a heart, and a moral compass...which was a darn sight better than just a brain.
"Earth to Bruce. Again."
"Hm?" Bruce snapped up from the book he wasn't reading. His head was nestled in Tony's lap, while Tony played with his curls. Steve had risen from the other end of the couch to gather snacks from the kitchen, so their dog occupied the warm divot Steve's butt left behind.
"You were saying?"
"I said," Tony murmured, kissing Bruce's forehead. "That I noticed you and Spangles made a small night of it. Without me."
"I wouldn't go that far," Bruce said honestly. "I got hungry and Steve and I talked over a few things."
"Oh, really?" Bruce could feel Tony's jealous streak rearing up. He put his book down, and took Tony's hand.
"Nothing major, promise. I told him I wanted to reclaim the word 'monster.' To use it, but in my own way."
"You're not--"
"No, wait. Hear me out." He'd already made peace with the word after his discussion with Steve, but he should've told Tony sooner. It was wrong of him not to. "I'm going to become someone 'otherworldly.' Monstrously huge’, as it were. But I want the opportunity to put my humanity on equal footing with the Hulk. It sounds...weird, but I don't know how else to describe it." He sighed, suddenly wanting another plate of cookies. "I guess I'm making peace with the Other Guy by becoming more like him, in human form. I'm almost excited at the prospect, to be honest. Maybe it'll help us understand one another more."
"Huh," Tony murmured after a long beat. A crooked smile passed on his lips. "I never thought about it that way."
"So...it's not such a crazy idea?" Bruce grunted. Some of his apprehension drained away with Tony’s approval. "There's merit to it, right?"
"Absolutely." Tony squeezed his shoulder. "But now that we're all on the same page, it's time to kick this into full gear. It's been a while since you used yourself as a live test subject - and I know your concerns," Tony interrupted, seeing the deepening crease across Bruce's brow. "But we've got this, babe. Let's pour through your notes and come up with some cool ideas."
* *
Part four: https://burlybanner.tumblr.com/post/186177528669/syzygy-4
