#ignorable

[crimsonbonds]

im usually pretty good at resisting the "theres so many artists who are so much better than me, why should i even bother trying" thoughts but man lately its really weighing on me... feeling really discouraged

[seasaltandwisdom]

going to be slightly vulnerable on here just for a moment because i need to talk about it- i was recently diagnosed with level 2 autism. while i don’t think levels are insanely accurate, the more i think about this the more i’m realizing that maybe it does affect me for than i know because this has just been my life for almost 22 years now.

since my appointment, i’ve been having a hard time talking and doing really anything. i’m tired more than anything. i’m not necessarily good at anything, i don’t do much. i feel more than a disappointment than i did before.

i’m trying to overcompensate my many flaws with being likable and it’s not working, i’m not particularly likable. my mom kinda sees it as just some thing that causes me sensory issues, which it is, but it’s so much more than that. i can barely work, i don’t have any irl friends, i’m bad at everything and i’m tired.

maybe i’m looking for community or maybe i just needed to get this out but here’s a smidge of what the past two weeks have looked like for me.

[n-ehpamoi]

Fucking christ,

must I go on.

Can't time just,

give it a rest, already.

my bones ache. My legs are tired.

I can't keep up.

What's the point,

in repetitive, bland, blasé,

and pointless tasks

and boring, bored,

irritating and irrational living --

why am I doing this,

when you've all

left me behind, anyways --

or is it that I stopped trying,

and let you create distance --

Moving regardless of me --

just like I stop regardless of you.

Leave me be to shrivel

and crumble.

That sounds nice.

[soloh]

I’m just gonna rant about customer service because dear GOD I could feel myself losing hope in humanity a little today

So, it was my first day back at work after more than a month at home on lockdown, because we’re a) helping out with online fulfillment and customer support and b) preparing to do contactless order collection in store once NZ moves into alert level 3. I spent the whole day in the manager’s office, acting as a customer support specialist, something I’ve never done before. And oh boy, it sure was something.

On one hand, fantastic, I gained a whole heap of admin experience and learnt how to use two new pieces of software in less than 7 hours. On the other hand, it reinforced the fact that I fucking hate the general public sometimes. On average, we were receiving one email regarding a customer enquiry or complaint every 2 minutes. We have a queue of about 8 days worth of emails that these new emails go into. When we open one of these emails, the first thing we do is copy the customer’s info into the search bar on Salesforce to check if they have previously contacted us regarding the same thing, to make sure they don’t get five responses to five emails about the same topic. The problem is, if they HAVE sent us multiple emails about the same thing, we can’t just reply to one of those emails and then close them all off. We have to go into each one, one by one, create a customer account or link them to an existing customer account, select which company brand the enquiry is for, what the enquiry is about, whether or not it requires a follow up, and THEN close it off. So this takes... 2-3 minutes per email before we get to the original one which we actually respond to, either by calling them, or sending a response email. The more emails a customer sends about the same enquiry, the longer it takes for them to actually get a response about that enquiry from us. AND THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE SENDING MULTIPLE EMAILS COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW LONG WE WERE TAKING TO REPLY WAS MAKING ME WANT TO THROW THE COMPUTER THROUGH THE WALL.

Not to mention the pricks who were sending emails like, “you guys are getting so many complaints on Facebook about how long it takes to get a response to questions, you need to sort it out and stop letting people down” with absolutely no other requests or queries. Like, oi, dickheads, you sending emails like that means the people with actual questions have to wait longer, because company policy dictates that we respond to every email. YOU’RE THE REASON PEOPLE ARE WAITING SO LONG FOR HELP. (Ngl, I did kind of enjoy sending responses that included phrases like “we have a large queue with hundreds of emails and are replying to each and every one” and “is there a problem I can assist you with? If you have no further enquiries, I will be marking your case as closed and removing it from our queue.” just to emphasise that they were in fact, adding to the issue that they were complaining about).

The empty threats were enjoyable though. “Your company is just going to lose money after lockdown because I’m just going to return this to my local store as soon as you’re open again and use my refund to buy the item again somewhere else, because your customer service was bad!” bitch no the fuck you won’t, our physical stores can’t return stuff that was ordered via our online store unless it’s faulty. And even if you manage to scream enough that they give in and call the online order team on your behalf and get the refund processed over the phone while you’re in store because you’re too lazy to do it yourself, if you return something in store as a change of mind, you get store credit, not a cash refund. Should’ve read the terms and conditions before you impulse bought an airfryer that you didn’t want to wait more than 24 hours for, Karen.

And on a final note, no one NEEDS a new iPhone. And bitching about how the iPhone you ordered is ESSenTiAL is not going to make me want to get your order sent out any faster. If you have the kind of money that you consider a smartphone that costs over $1500 an essential, I’ll send you my account details and you can pay me $200 directly to have your order sent out faster.

[tardytothepardy]

Recently I came across this Undertale story called “Handplates”, by zarla on deviant art. (I’m pretty sure they have a tumblr too but idk)

Usually I stay away from fanonical stories, regardless of the fandom. It’s not that I doubt the level of bomb-diggityness of the story or of the people making it, it’s just that I either am unaware that it even exists, or I’m mildly scared of reading/see something I honestly would rather not. 

But,,,, I looked it up on youtube anyway, and now I’m on the fourth “season” (or movie) of it and I’m kinda destroyed. I want it to be okay, that everything works out and people remember things (for good or worse, worse in the case of Sans and Papyrus), but it’s like a prequel. And when you already know how the original story is, you know that there isn’t anyway to change the prequels that wouldn’t reflect what ends up happening in the original story. 

Has anyone ever read “Heartless”, by Marissa Meyer? That book made me cry (but I usually cite that to the fact that the English test I was doing that day was completely wiped out from a power outage so I had to do it all over again, but the story was also tragic), which isn’t usually a thing that happens. 

At any rate, “Heartless” is also a prequel to “Alice in Wonderland”, basically an origin story to the Queen of Hearts. And in the story, the Queen, named Catherine, just wants to own a bakery with her maid, Mary. That does not happen.

My point is, as I was reading all the shit that was going down, I was like “Wait no go back there’s a way to go back wait noooooooo”, but I knew that since it was a prequel, it had to follow that path, otherwise something else would have to come along to make it lead up to the “present day”, and that’s a similar thing with “Handplates” in consideration of “Undertale”. 

One of the characters can’t just discover something that fixes everything, because in Undertale, there are gaps. (Gaps which have resulted in the fandom speculating for literal years, even though I like to imagine that Toby is just sitting back and being like “lol guys y’all are wild”)

But I really wish everything could be resolved. I’m a sucker for a good happily-ever-after, for a punch to the gut redemption arc that just bleeds feels (which is why I’m 100% for Endeavor having a redemption arc of sorts in MHA), where a character has to work so hard to try to redeem themselves, knowing full well that the bs they did is completely unforgivable, even in their own eyes, and that if they ask the people they hurt “Could you ever forgive me?” the people would say “No. I don’t know if I ever can, but certainly not now”, and they would just have to take it, and it’d be hard, and idk. 

But, I know that since, like I said, Handplates is like a prequel, none of that is going to happen, and I’m just gonna be left feeling sad. I probably deserve it though, watching it in the first place. The fun thing with the series is that it kinda gives a bit of insight into why the characters do thus and such, like why Papyrus is always wearing a scarf, or why Sans has such an infamously low HP. (one thing it doesn’t go into is why and where sans got that iconic outfit like dudes explain that I like to know these stupid worthless things)

Essentially, I’m devastated, and I know I’m gonna be more devastated soon, but I’m kinda ready. Kinda.

[sernisa-waters]

Tag Game - Senpai Notice Me

Rules: 15 questions, 15 mutuals (Blogs I noticed on Mo Dao Zu Shi cause I am a tiny ass blog that lives in the void)

Tagged by: @cranberrycanary

1. Are you named after anyone?

My parents could not decide a name so they referred to a baby name book and found one that meant Ocean Spirit. So that’s pretty neat I suppose.

2. When was the last time you cried?

MDZS episode 14 when Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli reunited.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope and no siblings either.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes but only amongst people who are close to me.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Never really thought into depth with it. Maybe their body language?

6. What’s your eye color?

Dark Brown.

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

I love scary movies. I do love happy endings but I’m so sensitive I cry over the happiness.

8. Any special talents?

I am.... an ... experienced.. fangirl (lord save this human).

9. Where were you born?

I was born on Earth.

10. Do you have any hobbies?

Travelling, watching animations and movies, reading (cough) and perhaps drawing here and there (pretty shit though).

11. Do you have any pets?

I don’t own one but does a stray cat that occassionally come for milk and guard my main door count?

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I don’t play any sports as of late, I have swam and danced I suppose. I am an unhealthy human.

13. How tall are you?

1.5 metres tall (4′9 feet, according to google), I am smol so I get terrified easily please.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Never fancied any particular subject, I just literally go with the flow of life.

15. Dream job?

Obviously something crazy like an astronomer but now I am working towards being a Podiatrist cause why not?

Tags

Hey! Sorry if this seemed extremely sudden but I didn’t know who to tag but you are very welcome to merely ignore this post in which you are tagged in. I just know you all from the Mo Dao Zu Shi tag. I’m so sorry!!!!

@acertaincritic

@lansizhuis

@hitokirisethsien

@yourtrashwaifu

@umisei

[pinkadelia]

Today’s lesson is clean up your rooms cause sometimes you find an entire US state quarter collection among all your shit