Ok what if I posted this corny ah Payjay fic guhhhh…
Anyway this is my Payjay fic || 1830 words || basically every payjay fic ever OJs overworking himself and not listening to paper you know how it be. Don’t kill me this is like from my notes when I write in the middle of the night || not beta read or edited so… do with that what you will.
OK ENJOY LOL
OJs eyes droned over excel sheets and emails as the clock ticked on. Hours of sitting in this chair had passed and he felt the consequences of it in his lower back- and in the headache that consumed his thoughts. A headache like a drum, thumping and never ceasing. The room was a husk of what it used to be. What was once a warm new opportunity, was now a dry dull room. Pictures hung on walls but didn’t have the same glow they once had- mainly due to them being many pictures of OJ… showing how he had lost that spark he once had. That joy for life had crumbled into a constant slog of work. Working and chores and clicking. Constant clicking. Typing. Emails. Clicking and typing. Laundry. Shopping. Talk to pap-
There was a small knock at the door, and OJ already knew he it was.
“Come in.”
Slowly pushing the door open paper peered in, noticing two things. 1) it smelt awful in here, and 2) a sick looking OJ hunched over his desk scrolling through things on his laptop.
“Uh. OJ? Have you looked at the time?”
“I’ll be in bed soon” the manager responded sluggishly, barely glancing down at the clock on his computer screen.
Paper frowned at this, making his way through the clutter and standing in front of OJs desk as if he were a resident with a complaint
“Come on OJ, it’s late. That’s quite enough work for one night.”
Instead of responding OJ just brought a hand to his head and rested his elbow on the table, eyebrows furrowing to re read the same email yet again as his vision failed him due to the dryness of his eyes.
“OJ! I’m serious! Come on we’re going.”
Waving a hand dismissively OJ muttered something small and unintelligible Paper couldn’t quite understand.
Paper leaned over the table and pulled the laptop away, closing it harshly as soon as he had it in his hands. Staring at OJ intently to gauge his response.
OJ blinked for a moment, then finally looked up at Paper and spoke
“Paper?! When I asked you to be my comanager this isn’t what I wanted! Coming in and- messing up my work, it’s completely unacceptable!”
“Oh yeah? Is that all I am to you OJ? Just a- just another worker at this hotel!?”
Scoffing, OJ got up from the table to meet paper face to face with a disapproving glare.
“Paper just- just give it to me!”
“No OJ! You’re done with this until you get good sleep!”
The office was colder now, OJ and Paper stood staring at one another before eventually OJ just let out an annoyed sigh.
“Paper, if you don’t give that to me, you’re loosing your master key. How can I trust you to have that when you can’t even-“
“OJ do you hear yourself!? I am not just your co manager I am your boyfriend!! I’m so done with you acting like this, I only want what’s best for you! If you had come in and saw me like I saw you, you would have done the same thing right?!”
“…Paper, you know I don’t mean to say you’re any less of my boyfriend, but you’re still-“
“No! No OJ I’m done with this, why do I even try!”
He shoved the laptop into OJs hands, hot tears pricking his eyes as he took a deep breath.
“I’ll be in our room. Come, don’t come, I don’t care anymore. Just do what you want”
The door slammed and OJ was left with the grey poison in his hands, listening to the footsteps of Paper go up the stairs and fade away.
He swallowed the lump in his throat, quietly placing the laptop on the desk, as if someone would have heard him making the decision.
He walked out of the office and locked the door, squinting to adjust to the darkness of the lobby. He hadn’t remembered the last time he willingly left the office to go to bed… but he wasn’t exactly sure this counted as one of those times either.
Making his way up the stairs his heart was heavy, he thought about what Paper said, and even just about Paper in general. He didn’t want Papers role as his boyfriend to come after his role of co manager… but it was so hard to focus on his life outside of work. Everyday was just more work, he and Paper barely went on dates and when they did it turned into OJ ranting about, well, work.
He wanted to change, he wanted to be more present in the relationship but he felt so scared leaving his duties behind, the weight of the hotel was heavy, and he didn’t want to let it onto anyone else’s shoulders…
OJ hesitated at the door to his room. The light was on, contrasting to every other room in the hall, so he knew Paper was awake, but he still felt awful for the argument.
He opened the door slowly, cringing at the creak of the old hinges as he walked into the room.
Paper was sitting at their shared desk, head in his hands as small hics escaped his throat. Tears ran down his cheeks and he turned away from OJ as he came in. The desk was littered with more of OJs notes and spreadsheets, and so were the over filled drawers of the desk. It was disgusting.
Paper felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over to see OJ crouching down to face him
“Paper… im so so sorry.”
His heart broke to see Paper like that, so defeated.
“Please look at me…”
Paper let out a shaky sigh, folding his arms over himself. He sat up from the desk, still looking down and avoiding eye contact.
“I’m sorry I yelled OJ- Im just so tired of you overworking, and I’m so tired of never getting any time with you and- I just can’t live like this anymore…”
Before OJ could respond paper wrapped his arms around him, face buried in his chest
“I miss you OJ- I miss you so bad.”
OJ reciprocated the hug, holding Paper close as he felt himself feel safe for the first time, truly loved by somebody as sweet as Paper. He felt so angry at himself for what he had put him through, and the pain he had caused. He wanted his heart to open to
Paper and not work- he wanted to feel that same love and joy in their relationship that he used to feel. He wanted Paper to smile when he saw OJ instead of giving him that concerned stare he always did now.
How did it get so bad? How did something so sacred and precious turn into this? Barely speaking, a quick glance in the hallways during the week, maybe a quick lunch together on special days… it was nothing like OJ imagined when he asked Paper out all that time ago. He missed the naivety of season one, talking for hours every night under the moonlight and wishing the days between challenges could last forever… but what was it now? Just some hotel.. just a building that barely represented who OJ was anymore…. He wanted it to stop- he wanted all these feelings to go away- the depression that clouded his mind from trying to love Paper was sickening.
He wanted Paper to be the light of his life- but he stood so far away he could barely even see him anymore.
“OJ? You- haven’t said anything… are you ok?”
Papers voice snapped him out his spiral and he looked regretfully down at him,
“Paper- I… I’ve messed up- I can’t believe I’ve been pushing you away so long and I just- I’m so sorry, for everything! I’ve been awful, and I don’t deserve someone like you and- I can’t believe I’ve been wasting my life barely living it! I just-“
Paper shushed him, bringing a finger to OJs lips to stop his rambling.
“OJ, you’re tired, you need rest, you can’t keep running on high emotions 24/7 or this is going to happen…”
“But- I- this is serious Paper! I’m not saying all this in just a spur of the moment thing I- I really do care about you!” OJ pleaded, bringing a hand to remove papers from his own face.
“I know OJ, and I don’t mean to dismiss your feelings… I can just tell you’re exhausted. Please just- sleep in tomorrow, take the day off, hell even a few days I just need you to get out of this rut. I need you to stop stressing all the time about work and remember the good things about your life Jay…”
Paper closed the gap between them with a soft kiss, bringing OJs hands into his own and rubbing his palms lightly with his thumbs. They stood in the dimness in the room where nothing else mattered, nothing but the connection they had and the love they shared. Work could wait, chores could wait, but they had waited too long to have a moment like this.
“And- frankly OJ, I’m tired too. That’s probably why I reacted the way I did in the office and I’m sorry… I should have been kinder to you. I should’ve dones it differently… and I’m sorry.”
“Paper, please, you did nothing wrong. I was the prick for barely even paying attention to you! You deserve better Paper, and I should have listened to you as soon as you told me or was time to go…”
It was silent for a few moments, Paper resting his weight against OJ and hearing his heartbeat through his chest. OJ wrapped his arms around Paper and held him close yet again, afraid that if he let go Paper would tell him all of this was a lie and that he hadn’t bern earnest. He would tell him that him and OJ were done, and that he had already moved on.
Paper moved away from OJ finally and led him to the bed, sitting down and pulling OJ down with him.
“Let’s sleep, please.” Paper smiled, giving OJ one last peck to the cheek and wrapping himself under the covers.
OJ smiled back, undoing the buttons to his dress shirt and tossing it onto the floor, climbing into bed and wrapping his arms around Paper. He couldn’t help but let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, a fear gnawing at him so intensely he couldn’t even focus on the most amazing part of his life. But this… this feels right. He pulled paper closer, running his hand through his hair and up and down his back. He wanted this moment to last forever.
He reached over to the table side lamp, turning it off with a small click, a click better than anything the keyboard to his computer could give him.
