#iliselfpara

[blackgardensandgraves]

Date: December 27th, 2013 Theios’ Age: 13 Notes: Trigger warnings for mentions of death, blood, abuse. And an unaccompanied minor during the holidays.

It was a few days after the first Christmas he'd ever had to spend alone, and Theios was sitting silently under an awning and watching the rain come down. He wasn't sure exactly where he was, but it must've been far enough down south to have rain instead of snow at Christmastime.

He didn't like it. He missed the snow of his home, the crisp chill that made the warmth of the indoors so much better. The snow seemed to insulate the houses, trapping the laughter inside and making it brighter.

But that was over, he'd never have it again. Between what had happened and the things chasing him now, he couldn't go home even if he wanted to. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to. What was left now? His brother was dead, it was his father's fault, and his mother hadn't done anything. He was better off not going back.

And it was probably time to move again. Rain or no, he couldn't linger here. He stepped into the downpour behind two people in brown jackets. One of them looked over her shoulder at him and smiled-

-and Theios' heart stopped because normal people didn't smile with fangs. He stumbled back a step and started running. He never even noticed that the other person in the brown coat kept walking, oblivious to the monster, oblivious to him.

[sorrxwful]

Date: 20/03/2005

Image: link

Age of Abigail: 2

She doesn’t know what this place is called, but it’s filled with beautiful, vibrant colours, and everything looks like it would be delicious. Abigail is joyful as she toddles towards a stack of red circles, each looking more delicious than the last. She picks one up from close to the bottom, just in reach for her, when the red circles come tumbling down.

“Bitte, nicht anfassen!” The big person tells her, towering over her as they begin to pick them up, putting them back in their pile. She had been living with this person for what felt like a long time, and they were so mean. It was different to the other place, where the other small ones had control. Abigail frowns, throwing herself on the floor.

“Affasse?” She questions, the makings of a tantrum bubbling under the surface as she sniffles, until the big person hands her the apple she’d taken. 

“Bitte, du must sprechen im Deutsch.” Each word confuses her more than the last. How is she going to understand them if they won’t explain to her what they mean. Her bottom lip begins to wobble, and the water works begin. Abigail cries, sitting down with no regard for her dress. Suddenly, she’s being dragged up by her arm. 

“Ow! Hurt!” She exclaims, fighting to get her arm out of their grip. 

“Deine kleid is shmutzig, schau was du has gemacht!” 

“No!” Abigail’s crying gets louder, and before she knows what’s happening, she’s being dragged away from the colours and shapes. 

[odyssxamageia]

Date: 14/11/2006

Image: link

Age of Odyssia: 6 years old

Christmas was approaching, and the young girl couldn’t be more thrilled by the prospect. It was no secret that this was Odyssia’s favourite holiday, and as she bursts into the house, out of the rain, she begins to bounce up and down with excitement. Droplets of water sprinkle everywhere. “Nanny Agatha, how many days till Christmas?” The older woman began laugh softly at the girl’s enthusiasm as she follows her through the door.

“41 days, my dear. A month and a bit to go.” She announces, placing an arm on the six year old’s sodden shoulder. “And then you and your Daddy will have time off from school and work. Won’t that be fun?” Odyssia nods, still bouncing despite the fact that she’s stopped moving around the room.

“Will you be here too, Nanny Agatha?”

“No, no my child. I have my own family I’ll be spending Christmas with.”

“Oh.” She tried to hide her disappointment, but it’s harder than she anticipated it would be, and Odyssia is an awful liar. “I’ll miss you. It feels weird just having Daddy.” She mumbles quietly, her bouncing stopping now. She breaks out of her nanny’s grasp, and begins to walk towards the kitchen, where her carrot sticks await her. She leaves a trail of muddy footprints behind her.

“Don’t fret, I’ll come back in the new year. Won’t it be exciting having your Daddy all to himself without any work?” The young girl shrugs, indifferent about spending so much time with her own father. She’d become so accustomed to just being a part of the furniture, not existing until it was time for him to put her to bed. The idea of just the two of them, with no work, was a foreign one. He always had things he had to be doing.

“I guess.”

It just so happened that the 14th of November was the day Mark had decided to take off to surprise his daughter. He walks into the kitchen, not noticed by his child, and when he hears her words, he vows he’ll make more of an effort, completely earnestly too.

It’s just a shame that sometimes, even the purest of intentions fail.

[odyssxamageia]

Location: The Simmons Family Home, Washington DC Date: 20th of July, 2015 Time: 7:58 pm Triggers: Mentions of near death experiences

A soft hush fills the house. Odyssia hadn't been home since the dramatic circumstances that had caused her to leave a year ago. She decided that she'd had enough time of being at camp, and she could manage herself being home for the summer. She'd learned enough magic to defend herself back at home.

Her father places an arm around her, clearly grateful to have her home again. He'd taken the day off of work, driven all the way up to New York, which took 5 hours, and drove her back home. She couldn't remember the last time that he'd spent that much time with her. She smiles, dropping her bags on the ground before giving him a hug. "I like the colour." She tells him, grinning. He chuckles, ruffling her hair.

"I missed you so much Issy, honestly. The last year's been awful. I've appreciated the letters though." He begins to lead her through the house, into the living room. Her most recent letter, from last week, sits on the coffee table, along with a few tissues. She can tell that it's hit him hard, and to be honest, it's been bad for her too. She was used to co-existing in the same house with him, even if she barely saw him, but it had been awful not having him around all the time. The letters they exchanged were the one thing she looked forward to the most on a Monday morning.

"I missed you too, Dad. I get to stay here for a while though, which is good. I know enough that I don't have to go back unless I want to." She recalls their parting moments a year ago, bandaged and bruised from her first monster encounter. She'd hated that day so much, and she knows that he did too. He grins at her.

"Great, we're gonna have to get you enrolled at a school then, but I don't think we'll have any problems with that. Would you want to go back to the same school?" Odyssia freezes. She wishes that she could say no, but at the same time, she doesn't want to start somewhere new either. She'd been all over the papers; 'Senator's Daughter Dodges Death!'. If she went somewhere new, it would be even worse. Georgetown was her only hope for a somewhat normal school career.

"That'd be okay I guess, it'll be good to see my friends again." She'd missed Jess and Anna, she'd written a few letters for them too. They had to be filtered by her dad, of course, but she'd appreciated the correspondence, and their attempts at making her feel better for missing school. "When does it start back up again?" She questions.

"August 24th. That'll be enough time for you to heal, won't it?" He questions, looking at her hopefully. She nods, smiling.

"Yeah. Of course."

[odyssxamageia]

Location: The Simmons Family Home, Washington, DC Date: 23rd of August, 2015 Time: 5:04 pm Triggers: Broken home, family issues

Her father’s eyes seem to have glazed over. They’ve not even started dinner yet, and he’s already lost interest in her. Odyssia doesn’t doubt that he’s had a difficult day at work, spending time in his constituents back in Maryland, but he still could at least try to be interested. The cook’s left for the day, meaning that the two of them are alone in the house now, and the silence that filled the air was their only company. 

Great.

She’s delicate but precise as she cuts another piece from the chicken in front of her. It’s cooked impeccably, as always, but since her year-long stint at Camp Half-Blood, nothing tastes as good as the food there. Not that her father would believe her on her. ‘He’s the best chef there is, some camp can’t do any better.’ She puts a small smile on her face, a faint one, just there so that he won’t think anything’s wrong, but the look on his face when he snaps out of his gaze shows that he’s catching onto her tricks. 

“Is everything okay, Issy?” 

It’s the look on his face, even though they’re sat across from each other, she can see the wrinkles in the corner of his eyes as he frowns, his eyebrows furrowing as he leans forward in his chair, trying to study her as best as he could, as if he could read her like he reads his colleagues on a daily basis. She wasn’t that easy. She never had been. 

“Sure, of course I am.” She answers, her tone cool, no sign of any emotion other than that of a bored teenager. He studies her for a few moments longer, then sits back again. She’s gotten away with it. Her smile grows a little, into a genuine one at the fact that she still has it.

“Have you taken your medication today?” He asks, going for a much safer territory than her emotions at present. Odyssia nods, keeping the smile. It was safer territory, but it showed that he still cared somewhat, at least.

“How was work?” She counters, and for a brief moment, it feels as though a kind of normal has occurred between them. She feels her pain dissipating, and the love and respect for her father floods her emotions. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him normally; it was that the years of being taken care of by someone else had taken their toll. She feels tired of the fact that neither of her parents had taken the time to just be with her, apart from the odd weekend when her father wasn’t working. 

“It was long, I spent most of the day wishing I was here.” He smiles, feeling the mood of the room going up. She looks up from her plate, into his eyes, and they share a smile. She enjoyed it when he made an effort. “Are you excited about the first day of school tomorrow?” 

He had remembered. She looks down at her food again, finishing her potatoes. “I’m a bit nervous.” She admits. It was her first day back a year at Camp Half-Blood, a year of learning how to defend herself from everything that was out to get her. 

“You’ll be okay, I promise. And if anything happens, you can go back to camp if you want.” He sounds sad at the idea, but they both know it’s the safest place for her. 

“Thanks, Dad.” She smiles, but she knows that what they have between them in this moment won’t last long. Two weeks, and he goes back into the office, and it becomes the same old story, only this time, she won’t even have a nanny to wait for her at home. She finishes her food, then stands, picking up her plate to take it to the kitchen. “I’ll take it into the kitchen. Wanna watch a movie tonight?” She questions, and her father smiles the biggest grin that he’s had this evening. 

“Sure.” It would go back to the normal routine, that much she knew, but she could enjoy this while it lasted.

[odyssxamageia]

Location: Odyssia’s high school / the nearby hospital, Washington DC Date: 6th of June, 2014 Time: 3:56 pm Triggers: Blood, needles, near death experience, hospitals

She’s shaking.

Odyssia tries to gasp for air, but something is stopping her. Maybe it’s the shock, but who could say for sure?

She can feel tears verging, and as she sits, slumped against the classroom wall, blood pouring out of the cut on her side. Her backpack’s across the classroom, and honestly? She can’t understand what’s happening, but she knows that if she doesn’t reach that backpack, reach her coagulant needles, she’s going to die here, pitying herself.

She can feel her breathing getting more rushed, and she knows that if she’s going to try, she has to move now, before she’s lost too much blood.

Odyssia allows herself to fall into her side, slowly attempting to move herself with her left hand while she puts pressure on her wound with her right. It’s hard to move, but ironically, the blood is making it easier for her to drag herself across the floor. She’s straining as hard as she can, and before long, the backpack’s just in reach.

She grabs the strap, pulling it closer, and one of the needles falls out. She grabs it, pulling the lid off with her teeth, and shoves the needle in her side, wincing in pain as she does it. She’s gasping and wheezing in pain, but she begins to fish through her backpack for another needle, and her emergency belt. She manages to find both, stabbing the other needle in her side, before wrapping the belt around her waist.

She’s beginning to get light headed, so Odyssia knows she hasn’t got much time left. She searches through her bag for her phone, and sends her dad a quick text. Who knows, if she’s lucky, maybe he’ll answer for once.

[SMS] Dad: Code 2, school, Miss Packer’s room. Calling 911.

She presses send, then dials the emergency services. “911, what is your emergency?” She hears the operator chime.

“My blood doesn’t coagulate, I’ve been stabbed and I’m going to pass out.” The operator starts gasping, clearly unprepared for what her shift would hold.

“Where are you? Are you still there Ma’am?”

”Georgetown Day School.”

That’s the last thing she remembers, other than the operator calling out to her. As everything goes black, she hears sirens approaching, and hopes it’s for her. Somehow, she still finds it in herself to doubt that.

When she wakes up, initial panic begins to set in. She thinks she’s still on the classroom floor, bleeding out. Odyssia quickly jolts up in the hospital bed, grabbing at her side, but only succeeds in pulling out the IV drip in her arm. An alarm starts beeping and a nurse rushes in, putting it back in and rushing to stop the bleeding from where she’d just pulled it out. “Now don’t move.” The nurse scolds, walking out again. Odyssia sighs quietly, when she feels a hand on the bed. Looking to her left, she hadn’t even noticed that her father was in the room.

“Hey Issy, how you feeling?” She finds herself relaxing a bit. Now that he was here, he’d help her make sense of what happened.

“I think I had a breakdown or something. I feel a bit better though.” She offers the last bit quickly, as the expression on his face looks more and more alarmed.

“What do you mean? What happened? The nurse said you told the 911 operator you were stabbed.” He reaches out for her hand, and it’s then that Odyssia realises how small she feels in this hospital bed. She finds herself verging in tears again, because this is going to be it. The final straw. He’ll think I’m insane.

“I don’t know for sure. There was this girl, I don’t remember her, but she just appeared and everyone knew her and acted like she’d always been there. She looked normal at first, I could’ve sworn she only had one eye though, but no one else saw it.” As she’s recounting her story, her tears are falling, faster and harder. He looks sad, but doesn’t say anything. He’s going to send me away. “She attacked me, I don’t know what with, but then suddenly I just felt like I was going to explode, and she disappeared. I think I must’ve passed out, and she probably left when she thought I was dead. I had to crawl over to my bag.” She’s sobbing, and her father looks like he’s about to join her in crying. Odyssia’s never seen her father cry before, and she hates that this is what it takes. She is what it takes.

“Issy, there’s something I should’ve told you a long time ago.” His voice is breaking, but she knows better than to interrupt him. “I thought I could keep you safe from it if I didn’t tell you, your mother said that would help, but I think she knew, on some level, that this was always going to happen.” Now it’s her turn for the words to get caught in her throat. Mother? They’ve never spoken about her mother both, he always refuses to answer any questions on it. It’s the one subject he keeps closer to his chest than any other.

“What do you mean, Dad? Safe from what?” She manages to splutter eventually. He looks around, making sure they’re alone, before he leans in close to her, his hand still gripping hers as he looks her dead in the eyes.

“Odyssia, your mother wasn’t human. She was a Goddess.”