I loveeeee your mcr x drummer they're so cool and even better because I'm also a drummer myself, but I'm not in a band, it's only a hobby really. I was wondering if you could do any transfem!Illi McMillin x fem!reader making out or smut (maybe inok Mikey Way hearing it and banging on the wall to tell you two to stop or something like that), literally anything Illi Mcmillin, if not, that's okay!! Don't feel pressured 😜
@gracieisnotonfire
HELLO ILLINATION 💥💥💥 also this is so similar to an ask i sent to someone else you literally read my mind,, anyway i got nasty with this except mikey ends up cockblocking (ugh). once again this is just a lil oneshot so sorry it's a short one guys :'<
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It started with cuddling; you weren't sure how the two of you got this far. Your legs rested on either side of Illi, straddling her as she held your waist. You were laying on top of her, your chest resting on hers. You could feel her heaving as she momentarily broke away from the kiss, gasping for breath.
The kiss was slow at first, but both of you were too eager. Being teenage losers didn't help to lessen either of your libido. Subconsciously, the kiss sped up. Your lips clashed with Illi's, her lipgloss mixed with your saliva.
Admittedly, it was a bit awkward at first. Neither of you had much experience, so there was some accidental teething, but you were both quick learners. Now, your tongue glided in and out of her, leaning in to taste her better.
Illi worked her hands up your back, eventually resting on your shoulder blades. When that wasn't enough, she moved her palms to the front of you, her fingers gently tangling with the hem of your shirt. You could feel her lashes flutter against yours as she looked up at you, silently asking for permission. You nodded, wanting this just as much as she did. You swore you could feel something hard twitch beneath you...
You sat up, allowing Illi an easier angle. She quickly undid your shirt, slowly pushing it aside to look at what was underneath. You watched her pupils dilate in the dim light of the room as she stared at your bra. Instinctively, she bucked into you. You let out a surprised whimper. Her brows furrowed, scared that she hurt you.
"S-Sorry! I didn't mean-"
You shook your head, cutting her off. "No, no... It's alright, seriously. I..." Your words trailed off as you looked into her eyes. Nothing needed to be said. The both of you knew that you wanted this just as much as the other.
As Illi began to close her eyes again, you leaned down, capturing her mouth in another searing kiss. Without thinking, you started grinding against her. She let out a small, surprised moan. You giggled, enjoying the sound.
Increasing your pace, you rocked your hips back and forth more vigorously. Both of you were started to pant now. The sounds of ragged breathing, wet kisses, and the occasional whimper or gasp for breath filled the room.
Getting more antsy, Illi unclasped your bra, throwing it to her carpeted floor. She watched your face flush with arousal as she grazed her fingers over your breasts, circling and plucking at your nipples.
As Illi toyed with your sensitive flesh, you let your head drop to her neck. You licked her up and down, feeling her pulse under your tongue. She squirmed beneath you, well stimulated by your kisses and bites around her throat and your persistent grinding.
Clothing was becoming an increasingly annoying barrier as time passed. Pausing your pursuit momentarily, you worked your skirt off as Illi undid her own. Illi stared up at your almost bare form, she couldn't help but salivate at the wet spot in between your legs.
Your eyes raked over Illi's body as well. She still had her uniform on her torso, but her bare legs looked absolutely delicious. You couldn't ignore the bulge between her legs, as well as the precum leaking through her thin underwear.
Climbing back on top of her, you continued to grind on her hardened dick. Illi matched your movements, going opposite to the direction you were moving. She captured one of your nipples in her mouth, rolling the other between her fingers.
By now, you were a complete horny mess. Whimpers and moans poured out of your lips, yours and Illi's orgasm fast approaching. Illi removed her mouth from your breast, a string of saliva still connecting her lips and your nipple. She gazed up at you, wanting to stare into your eyes as you both came. Whines spilled out of her mouth, her breaths becoming increasingly labored. Her bed creaked as your passion intensified, the vigorous movements causing a force that shook the bedframe.
Just as the two of you were moments away from cumming, you were rudely interrupted by several sharp bangs coming from the other side of the wall.
"Hey! Some people are trying to sleep here," an annoyed Mikey sounded through the wall. "And I don't wanna hear this!"
Looks like the two of you had woken Mikey up. Illi grumbled, annoyed by her brother, though she was too spent to shout back a response. You got off of her, plopping beside her on the bed.
"We can just cuddle," you grinned softly at her.
She smiled back at you. "Anything works, as long as it's with you."
You pulled Illi into your arms, her head resting on your naked chest. The sensation of her hair on your bare skin gave you goosebumps. You combed through her dark locks, the both of you still catching your breath.
tw: death, hints of s*icide, last words, illi and reader povs. if this is not what you feel comfy reading, its okay! take some time for yourself. watch some little animal videos and eat your favourite snack. ill see you on the next one, my love. ♡
this is like the part 1 for come back to me - loosely if you wanna put it that way . it can be read as a stand alone too. this is my experience with almost saying goodbye to everyone around me. I wrote letters to my friends and family. I thought that day I would leave and never come back. but im here now.
and thank you for being here with me too.
I love you so much.
fic under 'keep reading'
dividers by : @kthice & @cillmequick
Illi has not been a good lover.
Is what she tells herself daily. In a way, her words was a whip and she keeps hitting herself with it, again and again and again.
Drills it into her skull.
She wasn't destined for love, is what she believes.
She wasn't fit to be someone's rock. Is what she would write in her journal.
She wasn't enough. Is what she would speak about to her therapist.
Maybe she didn't do enough.
For you to stay.
For you to see tomorrow.
Everyone tells her it's not her fault. People can do so much for another person. It depends if that person wants to accept that help or not.
But she can't help it if the person is you.
You have helped her in so many ways. Why can't that be the same for you?
Her eyes looked down at the letter you left, the slightly brown paper that feels a little lighter now from the months of being folded and unfolded, the edges being in this slightly brown colour. Some words slowly fading off.
She brings the letter up to her lips, tears streaming down her face- holding that letter close to her lips. Pressing a kiss too it.
It was always something new at school for many people. Not for you though. The days go and come, everytime the minute hands ticks on the clock, you wonder when it would ever stop.
Standing infront of the crowd of students, teachers and facility. You just didn't want to exist. You didn't know why. It just happened, like a wave of sadness washed over you and you just- accepted it. You sank too far that no amount of swimming would help because you're out of oxygen to keep yourself sane. To keep pushing to reach the top, the light was just- a source of light. Not a point to reach out to see what's beyond it.
Your hand gripped onto the sling of your bag, looking at the crowd, standing in the middle of it all. They sound muffled, a ringing sensation in your ears and before you could reach to that point - a soft kiss landed on your cheek.
"Hi, my love."
Illi.
Illi is here.
Your lover. Your everything.
"Oh, Illi, hello. I didn't see you come up to me. Hi."
Illi tilt her head a little in confusion.
"You didn't hear me call out for you too?"
"Mm, I guess so. Thinking alot I guess."
Illi frowned a little, taking your hand in hers, pressing a kiss on the back of your hand.
"You want to talk about it? We can ditch a few classes, head to the park or somewhere quiet. You can let out everything if you want too! Plus it will be us."
You shook your head, pressing a soft kiss against her lips.
"I'll be okay, thank you my dear. We can't skip anymore classes. Let's go."
You tugged her to the direction for your first class.
The feeling just got worse over time. Your body ached, you felt like your bones were too heavy to move. Breathing was hard now. It was like your body wasn't yours, like something was slowly eating you from the inside out. You could feel yourself slipping away.
And you were allowing it to happen.
Currently sitting on Illi's bed, you just stared at the ceiling. She was doing some drawings while the television was on, playing one of her favourites. However, everything was just blocked out, you couldn't help it- maybe you could talk about it?
"Hey Illi?"
"Hm?"
"I don't feel so good."
Her pencil stopped moving, her head turning to see you laying flat on her bed. Her eyes drifted to check on you.
"In what way, sweetheart?"
"Don't know. Just..it feels heavy, whatever it is."
Illi moved, from her chair to the edge of the bed, leaning over so that her face was what you were looking at. Your hand moved to cup her cheek, brushing your thumb against her cheekbone.
Fuck. She's the most prettiest thing you have ever seen.
And all you could think is.
She deserves better.
Not you.
Better.
"Hey, your hand is a little cold. You wanna go on a walk with me? Let your blood circulate a little. Under the stars. It would be cute."
Illi muttered, turning her head to press a kiss against your palm.
"That would be nice."
Illi could sense something was up, she just didn't know what. It was like the sun set one day and it didn't come up again. Your smile dimmed over time, your eyes lost the flicker of hope, curiosity and joy.
Your hands don't reach out for anyone or anything. You footsteps that sometime would match hers, just slowed down even more before disappearing completely. You would stay home after school. Illi would invite herself but you said that you were unwell and you just needed to be alone.
But after a few days. It didn't feel right. So she came over with you. Whether you wanted it or not. She would sit with you, talk to you, bring your favourite foods to your place. She would try to bring you out for some dates too. Sometimes there would be a hint of joy.
However, there's this sense. There's this feeling like you agreed on something. Like something you can't back out and was determined to do.
She was scared. So fucking scared.
So she stayed over. Told you how much she loves you, showing you her drawings, and you drew some stuff for her too.
Slowly you broke out from that feeling. Illi thought that, you were coming back. Slowly you were allowing yourself to feel the happiness you deserve. Kisses between the both of you were deeper, more connected. Her hand never left yours. You were on her lap when she was drawing.
She was doing this to keep you here. To show you how much you mean to her.
You were doing this so that you wouldn't forget this feeling. Not matter how far away you were from her.
What she didn't realise that, you were happy with the decision you made for yourself.
It was quiet, too quiet in class. Illi didn't know why. In fact it was the opposite, people talking, laughing and just excited to see their friends but for some reason..it was quiet for Illi.
Where were you even.
She met you yesterday at your place. You guys had so much fun. You gave her a few of your drawings you made. It was pictures of you and her. A few trinkets you made- that was hanging on her bag. An apple clip, matching with you. Here's was red while yours was green. It was so cute.
She glanced at your empty seat beside her. Her hand on your table, tracing the little heart that had both of your initials. She's excited to see you again.
"Hello everyone. I have an announcement to make."
A somber tone echoed in the class. The form teacher stands at the front of the class, her arms around her, rubbing her arm for some self soothing. Her eyes a little red, everyone immediately quieten down.
"Um, as you know, everyone one of you guys know your classmates and have a bond as a class together but, I- today I got news from (Y/N) parents that, they are no longer with us."
Illi hand stops tracing over the doodle. She stiffen in her seat.
What?
What?
You are no longer with us?
What the fuck does that mean?
Illi's eyes met with the teacher before she continued speaking.
But nothing was heard. Illi took her bag and ran. Frank, Mikey and Ray all followed. Yelling Illi's name as she sprinted down the hallway.
No, no,no. This is a fucking joke.
No way.
You didn't leave.
You didn't just stop living.
There's no way.
She saw you yesterday.
Said I love you. Kissed you. Your warmth against hers. Your fingers brushed through her hair.
You are still here.
She knows it.
Her legs were aching, crying in pain but Illi didn't listen till she was infront of your home. She called out for anyone in the house. A few minutes later, a family member opened the door. Their eyes puffy and red, looking at Illi before letting her in without any word.
Illi ran to your open, expecting to see you on your bed. Maybe on your chair. Just in your room.
But you weren't there. Your bed was unmade. The chair wasn't pushed back under your table like it always was. How does a room filled with posters, photos, trinkets and more - some how feel so hollow and so empty.
How does a room filled with memories, colours and the smell of you, feel so heavy and depressing.
It was instinct, if you could even call it that.
You were gone.
You left.
You won't be walking beside her at school anymore.
She will never feel your warmth in her hand.
Your soft chuckles.
Your smile.
You.
Illi walked to the edge of the bed, before getting on her knees. Her head on the bed, her hands clutching the bedsheets- sobbing hysterically as she finally realised.
The boys reached to the entrance of your bedroom, standing there - unsure on what to even do.
Can Illi even come back from this?
If anything, she lost herself.
You were her everything.
You gave everything to help her in her issues.
With her own pains and insecurities.
So why.
What did she not do enough of?
Come back and tell me.
Please.
It has been a few weeks.
Her family bringing her food to eat. Sometimes, Mikey had to feed her from time to time - Frank and Ray coming down to have a sleepover every weekend if they could.
And Illi.
Illi was just there.
Right now, she was in her room alone. It was the middle of the night, it has been a rough couple of days. Nightmares of the day you left kept haunting her - but if it means that she can think of you. She wouldn't want them to end.
Sitting on her bed, she clutched the letter you left for her. On the day she ran to your home. A family member handed her an envelope- with her name in your writing on the middle of it.
Everytime when Illi misses you, she would just open the letter and read it.
What were you even thinking as you were writing this?
The way Illi could feel the pressure you put against the paper as you wrote.
As if you want the words to stay as long as possible.
For you or for her, she would never know.
Illi's eyes traced the words on the piece of paper.
"My sweetheart,
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, my love and I would understand fully if you don't accept my apologies. No matter how many times I would say it - I'm so sorry. You have showed me so much of me I didn't know I could even be. Your existence will always be something I'll search for in every lifetime I would live in. No matter how long or short it may be. Call me selfish- but Illi, without you. I'm practically nothing.
As I write this, I hope- maybe in the next life. I can be yours once again. If you allow it. Even if you remember this lifetime. I will do whatever I can to beg for your forgiveness to be yours again. I love you so much my sweetheart. God, I love you so fucking much. This decision- was something I have set myself to do for a while. I didn't want to tell you because I know you would drop everything for me. I didn't want that.
It's selfish enough that I want to escape all this, but I feel it's even more selfish when someone I love drops everything and anything to help me. I don't deserve it. Not one bit. So please, my love. Never ever blame yourself. I miss you already Illi. God. Thank you. Thank you so much for everything. God- thank you for loving me. Thank you for showing me that even as someone as faulty and disgusting as me can be loved. Thank you for being my moonlight in the most terrible nights. Thank you for being my sole reason to keep trying till my final breath.
I'm just tired, sweetheart.
I just want to rest.
Till I'm ready to meet you again.
I hope I'll see you once again when I open my eyes.
Summary: Reader is just a simple popular girl with the usual insecurities and the mean girl attitude to make up for it, while Illi is the loser on campus that's looking for a model for the art club.
Writers notes: hihihi!, another nsfw work. My classes got cancelled today (thank god because I had a test I couldn't study for) and since I was sick I took the day to nap a little just to feel better soon. I had the wettest dream about illi and thought that there was only one way I could take it out of my head. I hope you guys like it!
I woke up; monday morning like usual, feeling like trash and shit, maybe something even worse, but still having to get dressed up to go to uni.
Stupid uniform made me look horrendous, but I didn't stop to look at myself in the mirror this time, instead, I did my makeup in the mirror of my sister's car.
"You look so cute today, y/n" she said to me, and I laughed, awkwardly.
"Yeah, I guess so, thanks?"
What else was I supposed to say if I couldn't believe that myself?
Time went on, stupid classes, my head on the clouds, wishing I could already go home even when I basically just got there. I looked out of the window, not to anything specific, but instead, just the general view; the big three where all the losers would sit, and the beautiful early sunrise of 7:00 am on a Monday morning.
I saw her there too, but I pretend I didn't.
I didn't want to look at her at all; she was just so pretty, I would want to kill myself right after admiring her for so long.
Illi.
Just the stupid loser girl that was part of the d&d club, was lead of the art gallery of the art majors, and was obnoxiously pretty.
Like please.
She was just that good.
I didn't know if I wanted to be her, or be with her.
Have her down on me, whimpering, face flushed, breathless. Having her so wet so it'd make a mess over my bedsheets.
Bite her neck, leave my hickeys and marks.
Eat her out and leave her shaking.
You know, just the usual thoughts you'd have about a pretty girl, right?
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"Hey, excuse me?" I heard her glorious voice. "Y/n, right?"
I turned on my heels and smiled warmly at her.
"Yeah?"
She smiled back.
"Oh, sorry if this is sudden!, hope I'm not bothering you" She laughed awkwardly, I wanted to squeeze her cheeks. "I was looking for a model, you know?, for the art club!, we're having a gallery soon and I was needing a model for our section dedicated to beautiful women of our campus"
I wanted to throw up just by how nervous that made me, but I had to face my fears, so I kept my best poker face and nodded with a soft smile.
"Yeah, that'd be no problem at all"
"Oh!, really?, aw!, that's so great" she said while laughing energetically. "I was expecting you to say no, you know?, the popular girl, people usually expect you to be mean"
I smirked, something dangerous turning on me.
"Oh, those are only bad stigmas people have about me"
I raised my eyebrow.
"Did you think I was going to be mean with you?"
Her smile dropped a little and her beautiful eyes shook, moving around nervously.
"I mean, kinda"
"Don't be ridiculous, I'd never"
I chuckled while grabbing her cheek, pinching it.
"I suppose you have my number, so you can text me for the modeling"
She shook her head, flustered.
"No, I don't, would you–"
"No need to be asked twice"
I grabbed her phone and added my contact there. After that, I started walking away, smiling. My plan worked without me even trying.
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Later that day, she texted me, but I couldn't just please her right in, I made myself difficult.
"Oh sorry, I can't that day"
"Yeah sorry, busy too"
"Oops, haha, it's gonna be hard to find a day I can squeeze your modeling in"
And things of such.
It was all just an excuse for her to text me more.
For me to know her more.
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I woke up due to a call; Thursday night, 11:45 PM
Illi, was the caller ID. I smiled to myself and took some time before answering.
"Hi?, sorry, did I wake you up?"
"No, not really... but I'm curious, what do you want at this hour?, it's kinda late and we're on a weekday"
"Yeah sorry, I just needed to check up with you if you could fill in tomorrow for the modeling, the students are asking me about it because they really need to start, sorry if it's too much trouble"
That pleading voice. It made me weak.
"Oh, I understand... well... maybe you could take some pictures?, you know, for the modeling they need, that way we both get what we want; I don't have to stay there all day while they draw me and you finally get the modeling you need. Since I'm short in time, I think it could be a great idea"
"Right!, that doesn't sound so bad, I have a camera that could work great, it has good quality and it– sorry!, I'm speaking a lot, aren't I?"
I giggled.
"Don't worry about it, see you tomorrow, I'll take you home with me after class, bring clothes, if you want to stay"
She laughed breathlessly, flustered. It made me hungry.
"Alright, see ya"
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Friday, 1:00 PM.
We were in my sister's car, I asked to borrow it for her just so I could drive Illi. My mom was gonna be out all day, same as my dad, and my sister made the deal with me to stay out of the house, just so I could be alone with her.
When we got there, I parked in front of the house, she stepped out of the car, flustered and shy. Lovely.
"Welcome, don't be shy and feel just like home, I don't bite"
"Yeah, sorry, excuse me..."
We went to the kitchen first.
"Anything you want to drink?, I have soda and water, maybe alcohol if you make the right question"
She giggled nervously and her eyes started shaking around again, I smiled to myself.
"No, just water would be nice, thank you... your house is really pretty"
"Thanks, my mom designed it"
She nodded while looking around.
"We have a space that could be ideal for the pictures, do you wanna go see it?"
She nodded and I took her hand just so I could start walking; guiding her.
When we finally got in, her eyes started shining brighter. I knew her nerdy ass would love my dad's photo studio.
"Oh wow!, this is all so... so expensive, and it's all yours?" She turned around to ask me.
I giggled and nodded.
"My dad's but... still mine, we can use whatever you want"
She nodded excitedly.
"Do you need me to take my clothes off?, or those are not the kind of pictures you want?"
She turned around to face me, red as a tomato and suddenly gasping for air like if I just punched her in the stomach.
"No!, I mean!, I'd be the appropriate thing for the students but! but— uh, only if you... uh, if you feel comfortable with it, okay?, just... just in that case, we can– uh, do it with underwear only"
I smirked; she was so adorable like this.
"I don't mind, even without underwear"
She gulped and nodded, looking everywhere except my face.
"Alrighty then"
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When I entered the room without any clothes on, her eyes went directly to my cunt, I smiled to myself. Her eyes then drifted, eyeing my whole body, checking me out shamelessly.
"So, should we start?"
"Yeah— uh, right, rightrightright" She nodded quickly and took the camera on her hands.
She started giving me directions, shyly, on poses she needed for the modeling pictures. I was more than happy to do so, kind of hoping she would be the only one to see the naked pictures.
Because I would throw up and die if anybody else saw my naked body.
"You can keep the naked pictures for yourself, I'm a little shy now..." I said with an embarrassed voice, making myself look flustered and nervous instead of confident.
"Oh it's alright, we can... uh, you can put some clothes now and we can continue for the ones for the club"
She was so understanding, it made me clench around nothing.
Basic human decency; wow, so fucking horny, I'm so turned on.
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We finished the shot, and I stayed in underwear just so I could play with her a little more.
"So, did you like how the pictures turned out?"
"Yeah!, again, thank you so much for doing all of this for us"
"For you specifically"
I winked at her and I could feel the heat rising on her face.
"Right... thanks again"
She looked away, hesitant on what to say next, but I was already sure of what I was expecting to hear now.
"Are you... are you flirting with me, or something?, sorry if that's a weird question I–"
I couldn't let her finish. I put a finger on her soft lips, and smiled at her, tilting my head to the side.
"What do you think, Illi, mhm?"
Her eyes went to my lips, and then back to my eyes.
I bit my lip, smirking, knowing that I already had her in the palm of my hand. I shook my head softly, asking for permission, and she nodded, mouth already half opened.
I crashed our lips into a kiss, starting softly and finishing filthy and needy.
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Things got heated so soon I didn't even know when we got to my room. I was already on her, kissing her beautiful soft lips and her chubby face; dragging down her neck, open mouthed kisses and teasing bites.
She kept whimpering and rolling her eyes back, like if nobody ever touched her this way.
Maybe nobody did.
I was hungry, so hungry I couldn't even think straight. I started humping her knee, and she started moving it back. It sent a jolt of pleasure straight to my clothed cunt. If I was already so wet before, I couldn't imagine how wet I was right now.
I murmured to her mouth, stupid things I couldn't even understand, but somehow she did. She nodded, taking her beautiful shirt off, showing me her bare almost flat chest; her little nipples already hard and pinky, I took one into my hand, and started playing with it harshly.
She moaned into my mouth, and I stepped back, already roaming my hands around her body, taking off every single piece of clothing I could find. Suddenly, she was naked, and I was just in my underwear.
Her short black hair was splattered all around my pillows, her eyes were watery, her lips pink and swollen by my lips, and her whole skin looked like a porcelain doll. I wanted to eat her right there and right now.
I licked my lips at the sight.
"You are so beautiful, Illi... I'm so jealous of you" I murmured, as I looked, tilting my head.
"T...thanks" She answered me, breathlessly.
I smiled again and grabbed her knees, opening her legs up for me. She hesitated first, shy, then opened them up softly as I put more force on my grip.
"First time?" She nodded. "Good, I'm gonna make you see why pretty girls like us have the best time in bed."
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I went down on her, opening her up for me to be able to get in-between her thighs. I licked her clit first, teasingly. Her folds were already wey. Her pussy was pink, half shaved and trimmed... but nothing that could cover up much.
I almost rolled my eyes at the sight, feeling my own arousal building up with need.
I started eating her pussy, putting my tongue between her folds and trapping her clitoris completely between my lips, I could hear her moan and whimper, asking for more in that sweet voice.
It was better than I ever imagined.
I felt her hands coming to my hair, playing with it, still too shy to grab me and push me into her pussy. But I knew what she wanted, so I gave her that.
After a while I started playing teasingly with my fingers on her folds; I could feel her having spasms from the sudden feeling of my fingers, but I was prepping her right, so I slid one finger in, and she clenched around it like if it was the biggest cock ever.
I almost giggled.
"Like that, pretty girl?, come on, let me hear you talk to me"
She couldn't respond, but I wanted to tease her a bit.
"Come on, or else I'll take my finger out"
She groaned, I was pretty sure she was rolling her eyes.
"Please, please don't... mhgmgh, I want this, I want more" she mumbled, but it was enough for me.
"Alright, princess"
I slid another finger in and curled them towards me, she almost took them out herself by the overstimulation she was feeling. I giggled and started making a scissor movement with my fingers inside her, eating her clit while doing so.
I could feel her getting desperate, her cunt was tightening more and more until I felt my fingers getting sucked inside.
I was pushing her more than she knew she could feel.
So I did my job and let her cum all over my fingers, taking them out after a while just to put them in my mouth to savor the flavor.
She tasted good.
More than good actually.
"Ready for more, princess?, we're still halfway" I teased as I started getting closer, cupping her face and kissing her softly.
She nodded, closing her eyes for the kiss, savouring my mouth with her fluids.
I grabbed her knee and opened just one of her legs, positioning myself on her dripping wet cunt.
"This is gonna feel weird at first but trust, okay?"
I reassured her as I started to move myself, scissoring with her.
She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth, letting all those beautiful moans come out. She was enjoying it so much.
I was enjoying it so badly too.
But I had to control myself; I couldn't be a freak with her in her first time.
I almost giggled to myself at the thought, and continued scissoring her beautiful cunt.
I could feel her starting to get desperate again, grabbing my leg for more friction, so I positioned myself better for it to be faster, and she almost screamed my name.
I was clenching around nothing but I was getting close too. I rolled my eyes and moaned loudly while coming into her cunt.
She came with me too.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
After that, we stayed in my bed. I gave her the best attention I could, she was being clingy, like a cat.
Maybe this was the start of a relationship... or just a hook up.
summary - it’s supposed to be a simple movie date, but illi just can’t seem to keep her hands off of you.
word count - 1.7k
warnings - no use of y/n, fluff, established relationship, fem pronouns used for illi, heavy making out, groping, pet names, whiny and pathetic illi
a/n - thank you for all the love on my previous illi fics! I’m currently working on a request for gerard so I hope to have that finished sometime soon. also there will be a gn!reader in the next illi fic, I promise!
The Video Vault was lively, as kids dragged their parents through the aisles by the cuff of their sleeves. Music played from a muffled speaker somewhere, the crooning of some 80’s glam singer barely rising over the senseless chatter of customers. Illi silently watched as a giddy group of teenagers eyed a copy of Jeepers Creepers, before casually walking past it. One of them glanced over at her for a brief second, before hastily looking away.
“If you’re just going to stand there, at least fix the keychain display.”
“My shift ended 10 minutes ago,” Illi said, lazily leaning against the counter. Her eyes drifted away from the suspicious teenagers and over to Howard, who stood by the cash register. His mud brown hair was clipped back today, the tangled locks resembling a bird’s nest. A pair of thick framed glasses sat perched on the edge of his nose, as he peered down at a clipboard.
“Then why are you still here?” he asked, sounding incredibly disinterested.
Illi deeply sighed, her patience already dangling by a thread. “I’m waiting for someone,” she explained, hoping to leave it at that.
Howard scratched at the patches of his beard – if you could call it that – snorting as if she had told some joke.
“Did your little girlfriend stand you up, or something?” A sly smile grew on his lips, as he looked over at her in amusement. The sight was enough to cause Illi to grind down on her teeth, as she quickly glanced away.
She trained her gaze onto the garish looking carpet, counting its orange threads in hopes of slowing her thoughts. Sometimes Illi wasn’t sure why she stuck around the video store. The pay was crap, and her co-worker Howard had the IQ of a fucking slug. Then she thought back to the time Mikey and her did lawn work one summer, to try and afford tickets to Iron Maiden’s Brave New World Tour.
That night was still the highlight of her fucking life.
Suddenly, The Vide Vault didn’t feel so bad, compared to mowing someone’s front lawn beneath a blistering sun.
“We have plans,” she mumbled. Howard opened his mouth to reply, when a giddy-looking family approached the counter, clutching onto a VHS of Casper, momentarily distracting him.
Illi reached over to fiddle with the keychain display, nervously glancing at the clock. Where the hell were you?
Through the front store windows, she could just make out your approaching figure as you jogged through the parking lot. A heavy looking plastic bag bumped against your thigh, as you hopped up onto the sidewalk. Illi fought against the grin working to overtake her face, as she rushed over to open the door for you.
“Hey,” she breathed out, as you stepped inside. You shyly smiled at her, your eyes briefly tracing over her features.
“Sorry I’m late, I thought I would get some snacks for our movie,” you explained, hoisting the bag up. Through the thin plastic, Illi could make out the vibrant hue of soda bottles and chips.
“A simple text would have worked,” she said, reaching to take the bag from you – ignoring your protests. Illi linked her arm with yours and led you over to one of the aisles with a white, blood splattered sign labeled Horror. You pressed into her side, your warm presence managing to wash over the dull workday, and Howard’s usual snarky attitude. She clutched onto your arm, wishing she could cocoon herself over you.
“Did you have a movie in mind for tonight?”
Illi hummed in thought, pursuing her lips as she glanced over the movie covers lining the shelves. As she scanned the shelf, her eyes landed on the terror-stricken face of Linda Blair as she clutched onto the iron bars of a gate. The ominous title Hell Night jumped out at her, as the red font stood out amongst the deep blues of the cover.
She picked up the VHS tape, presenting it to you. “How about this?”
“Is it any good?”
“I remember Howard watching it in the back a few days ago,” she said, shrugging.
“It’ll do.” You plucked the tape from her hand and dragged her over to the front counter. Illi giggled at your eagerness, as you slid the tape over to Howard, who looked fed up with the workday already.
Illi’s hold tightened around your arm as she gnawed on her bottom lip, anxious to leave the store. Luckily, Howard said nothing as he rang the movie up. As soon as he handed you the movie and recipe, Illi was already whisking you out the door.
Not before flipping off her co-worker, who only snorted before moving on to help the next customer.
──
Various bags of snacks and candy littered the coffee table. Across from it was the tv, a heavy black box that took a skateboard and three people to haul inside. You were squatting in front of it, causing the fabric of your washed-out jean shorts to tighten around your thighs. Illi flushed, and cleared her throat, adverting her gaze to one of the many bags of junk food. You perked up as the film began to play across the screen and rushed over to the couch.
As you cozied up beside her, Illi pulled the blanket over you two – which was just a handmade quilt from her grandmother – and snaked her arm over your shoulder. She let out a content sigh, as her body immediately relaxed against you.
Illi’s house was quiet – aside from the blaring TV – as her mom was currently at work, and Mikey was staying the night at a friend’s place. It felt like things finally fell into place, where she could have a moment alone with you. Trying to find some semblance of peace was difficult at school, as it was a constant reminder of how separated she felt from everyone else.
Illi felt like some strange stain on the school, as the students either glowered at her or acted as if she were nonexistent. Sometimes she couldn’t decide if she wanted to remain invisible or at least be acknowledged to some degree.
A deep seeded part of her wanted to get away from it all.
Illi shook the thought from her head, and drummed her fingers against your shoulder, trying to remind herself there was another body present. She took a deep breath and focused on the movie.
Well, tried to.
The floral scent of your perfume was beginning to make her head buzz. It flooded her airways, and for a moment she believed she could get drunk off the scent of you alone. Her eyes glanced over at you, to find you completely engrossed in the movie. Your bottom lip was pulled in between your teeth as you stared at the screen. She zeroed in on the tantalizing shine of your lip gloss, wanting to swipe her tongue across it just to know what it tasted like.
“You’re missing the movie,” you whispered, startling her.
She quietly chuckled and looked back over at the TV. Across the screen, Linda Blair’s character, and numerous others, were now approaching a gated house. Illi’s hand came to rest on your thigh, her thumb stroking mindless patterns against your bare skin. She felt you shudder as you adjusted to rest your cheek against her shoulder.
Despite the dark atmosphere, and tense music of the movie, Illi couldn’t help but let her eyes drift back over to you. She anxiously watched your features, finding herself wandering back down to your glossed lips. They were parted in anticipation, as you focused on the movie.
There was something mesmerizing about you, and Illi found she could be content just watching your reactions to the movie. The widening of your eyes, to the breathless gasps from a tense scene.
Illi’s hand wandered up your thigh, her thumb lazily trailing over your warm skin. She leaned forward and began to press faint kisses against your hairline. The sweet fragrance of your shampoo wafted into her nose, forcing her to choke back a groan. Your presence was overwhelming, as it enveloped her in the small, shared space.
“Illi.” You sighed and moved your head to properly look at her. Your heavy eyelids found hers in the dark room, waiting. Her eyes flickered down to your lips, before she leaned forward. As your lips connected, Illi couldn’t hold back the quiet groan that escaped her. Your hand entangled itself in her hair, gently pulling on the strands as her mouth worked against yours. She greedily swiped her tongue across your bottom lip, attempting to lick at the fruity flavored gloss that now coated her taste buds.
“Fuck, you taste good,” she mumbled against you.
Illi moved to straddle you, gently laying you back against the couch. You were sprawled beneath her, as you wrapped your legs around her hips, pulling her closer. Her hand immediately found your thigh, as she gripped at your skin. The kiss was heated as Illi moaned against you, feeling her head go fuzzy as you tugged at her hair. She broke away panting as she began to trail open mouthed kisses down your neck. You whined, desperately bucking against her.
Illi, enamored with the very scent of you, dragged her hot tongue along your collarbone. You gasped from the sensation, and threw your head back, giving her more access.
“What about the movie?” you panted, briefly looking down at her.
“We’ll just rewind it, baby.”
Illi’s hands traveled up the slopes of your body, to rest on the swell of your breast. You hungrily pulled her mouth back to yours, your tongue heatedly sweeping over hers. The kiss was dizzying, as she struggled to keep her hands from trembling against you. Illi’s heart thudded in her chest from your frenzy hands as they wandered up her shirt. The slope of your palms slid over her soft stomach, like an artist carefully gliding their hands over a sculpture. Illi whimpered against your mouth, feeling her heartrate spike as your palms traveled up to her chest. She – reluctantly – detached herself from you and rested her forehead against yours. Your hot breath fanned against her face as you peered up at her, eyes blown wide. A toothy grin spread across Illi’s lips at the sight of your panting form, and giddy eyes.
“Fuck, I really love you,” she confessed, before gently pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. You giggled, the sound like soothing wind chimes to her ears.
The TV’s faint glow illuminated your flushed face, as the movie played on, now completely abandoned.
hi anon!!!! ahhhhh i do love me some illi here’s some movie-date headcanons for ya! enjoy <3
- you pick the movie. she insists. she’s standing there in her oversized jacket, sleeves past her hands, bouncing a little on her toes because she’s pretending she’s not excited but she absolutely is.
- when you finally choose that horror movie that just came out, she grins like you just told her the best news of her week. “perfect,” she was secretly hoping you’d pick that one.
- in the theater she leans in without thinking, brushing your shoulder, then pulling back like she didn’t mean to, before doing it again because she actually wants the contact. halfway through, she whispers little reactions to you: “did you see that?” or “oh my god he’s so dumb,” like you’re sharing secrets.
- she offers you popcorn every ten seconds, even though the bucket is literally on the armrest between you.
- when a jump scare hits, she squeezes your hand and then immediately apologizes, cheeks red, but she doesn’t let go.
- after the credits, she asks what you thought, but she stumbles over her words: “okay, you go first. no, wait- unless you want me to- actually, no, you.” she laughs awkwardly into her sleeve.
- walking out into the night, she tries to link her arm with yours, then hesitates halfway, then finally commits in a nervous little burst of bravery. “we should do this again,” she says, eyes on the sidewalk. then, quieter, “like… definitely.”
Title taken from the song "I'm not okay (I promise)" by My Chemical Romance
Request: Illi x f!reader in my inok au
Fic summary:
Belleville Boarding for Boys and Girls, October 2004.
In this story you will follow an Illiana Astoria McMillin (also known as illi) as she navigates her crush on a girl in her class. Well, crush hardly covers it. Moreso.. Obsession.
Read as Illi faces the humiliation of High-School, confesses to her saviour, and get lost in their ever changing dynamic and supernatural teen romance.
This is set in My Chemical Romance's "I'm not okay (I promise)" universe, combined with my own take on the video's world and based on a video I made some months ago. If you haven't seen the video and would like some extra context, headcanons, world building and word vomit, let me know!
This Chapter's Themes:
Illi is a weird girl , Creepy Illi (and proud to be) , Female/Feminine reader , Reader is also strange but can many top the spirit of Gerard? , INOK au , Girl love , Yearning perhaps , References to bullying , Potential stalking , High School romance , Crushes , Lab partners , Awkward teenagers , Social outcasts , Setting the scene , All yap no action , Slow burn
Author's note:
This is the first of my own writing I'm uploading to Tumblr so please keep that in mind as you read . I welcome constructive criticism but dont be harsh !
I super struggled to stay vague for the reader descriptions and i didn't want to overuse Y/N so i think I've made something that should be burned at the stake in terms of x-reader approaches.
This fic was inspired by an ask from an anon , which we discussed a little seperately . I hope it's everything you wanted 🌾 !
Of course there will be chapters to come . once a decade . If Ur Lucky .
Edit: i forgot to add word count before i deleted the file on my laptop but im pretty sure it's 4.9k characters ?? idk how many words that is .. Not many . It's just an introduction it's okay .
Enjoy!!
↓↓↓
The Introduction
To be Feared
To Illi, the girl was something to be feared.
The girl that smiled so sweet the second they laid eyes on one another across hallways and cafeterias. The girl who had Iron Maiden and Anthrax and Thursday patches on her bag, the very bag that always had some music or movie mag rolled into the sidepocket. The girl who would put dinky braids into Illi's hair when she sat behind her in class, never asking permission, only leaving her shivering with every delicate tug.
The girl that was nothing like the others, others who'd spit at Illi's feet or throw lewd doodles at her head. Nothing like those that wouldn't dare touch her, snickering to their retreating pack of vampires as she passed, retching melodramatically if they bumped shoulders.
Instead, the girl was intoxicating. Illi couldn't keep away.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what had our main girl so troubled.
Love.
Love that didn't slowly carefully bloom over first dates and first kisses.
Love that hit hard and fast. Flooding her entire being, over basic respect and humanity. Over shreds of kindness Illi had been starved of since kindergarten — Although even then, her passion for saving worms from the sidewalk wasn't exactly appreciated. Over eyes she could study forever and the softest hair and the sweetest smell and-...
Point is this was new.
Sure, she had her brother, and Ray in the grade above, and little Frank (the troublemaker Mikes has been bringing home since they were 12). But now, she had a real crush. Not Pinhead or Audrey but a human girl that went to her very school, that wasn't repulsed by Illi's acne-ridden jaw or greasy hair or tendency to live in another world. At least- Illi hopes not.
And as her days success rate grew to be dependent on whether or not she could have moments with this girl, she never wasted a second wondering whether or not this attachment was healthy. This was fulfilment; she was sure of it.
Aside from silent exchanges, they'd spoken a few times, the girl and Illi. Only a few.
First was April last year. The first week the poor unsuspecting girl had joined this hellhole of a school. Neither had a partner for chemistry, so, in the back corner of the classroom, amongst mouldy unwashed equipment and beside a leaky faucet, they quietly did their exothermic experiment, shuffling their feet and knocking elbows, only breaking the tense silence to awkwardly mutter data for their table.
The next was a Biology class. Another practical. Only this time, neither waited to be singled out and paired by the professor. In unspoken acknowledgement of their social standing they headed for the mould corner, this time dissecting small creatures, occasionally sharing shy giggles and whispering over points of fascination. Illi felt this must have been when she began to fall victim to the girl's love spell. Where she saw her eyes light up, expression soften, gloved hands moving with ease as she filed through piglet guts. Illi was no longer holding back tears every class, spending every second sketching to drown out the noise of students. She was watching how that pouty mouth moved around every word, outside noise drowned out by daydreams of lips and hips, cuts and guts.
The last conversation was September. After a torturous summer break, another school year rolled in. It was a short interaction, much to Illi's dismay (or perhaps relief; she can hardly get a coherent sentence out when those eyes are on her). They both happened to walk into the school's nurses office at the same time, where she gave a polite "hey, it's you-", before great concern cut her off and left Illi looking rather desperate asking whether she was feeling alright… only for the girl to be ushered into a separate room, without a chance to reply.
Fleeting moments, shared gaze across rooms, quiet touches. That was all it was. Almost secretive, a rare pleasure Illi felt she had to hide away from the rest of this wretched place.
Whilst beautiful, whilst tragically romantic, She had to do something about this. Had to stop letting herself get caught in these cycles.
For once in her life, Illiana McMillin was going to make a move.
summary: best friend illi and you end up on your bed after getting wasted. guess what comes next.
warnings: NSFW, alcohol, drunken sex, poor plot, friends to lovers i guess??, illi is so cute, reader is kinda flirty.
a/n: im back with something a bit different from last time!!! main thing is: I SUCK AT WRITING SMUT. tried my best but still, bare with me pls! once again, english ain't my first language and i wrote it while almost falling asleep, there's a huge chance there might be typos and bunch of mistakes, but hey we do this for fun, right?!
•illi who you met at prep school is the sweetest girl ever
•you instantly became friends after a group project
•she knew all your favourite horror movies (but didn't like most of them)
•she would bring you to her home to hang around, to read comics (which you didn't particularly love) and watch movies
•she would always compliment your looks and tell you how pretty you looked on her wornout band shirts
•you slept over at hers every once in a while, chit chatting all night about this and that
•the first time you caught her struggling with dysmorophia was during one of those nights, when some dumbass from her class said shit about her looks
•you always thought she looked cute
•you held her in your arms while telling her how amazing, talented, beautiful and special she is
•you both fell asleep while hugging each other and, the next day, illi made you pancakes for breakfast
•after that something shifted inside illi, but she wouldn't tell you what
•you'd catch her pretty hazel eyes glued to you in the most random moments
•when you yawned
•when you were about to fall asleep in class
•when you rolled your eyes at frank's awful jokes
•when some stupid guy hit on you at a party
•and parties where pretty much a big no for her, even if you insisted a lot
•illi hated crowded places and hated even more having to share your attention with anyone else (she would never tell you that)
•illi also disliked going shopping, but she'd make exceptions whenever you said her opinion was important
•one of those days, while you were in the changing room, you also caught her staring
•it didn't feel weird, matter of fact it kinda made you blush
•her beautiful hazel eyes ran up and down on your body while you were trying a black dress way too tight on your hips
•she told you how hot that made you look (in an absolutely dispretentious way) and you felt all the warmth of your body run right to your cheeks
•you told her to try it as well, in a size that fit her better since she was slightly taller and more curvy than you
•she felt totally out of place in a dress like that, it made her feel fake, disgustingly big, you couldn't disagree more
•the way the color contrasted her pale skin made the greenish color of her eyes even brighter
•she looked great
•you felt the air in the small space grow thicker and realising how illi had absolutely no idea how much you were staring (drooling) made you feel guilty
•when the next party came, the one you had bought the dress to, illi suprisingly said she'd tag along
•after a few drinks both of you were laughing, dancing and singing to anything they'd play
•illi's eyes were prettier than ever
•that was the first time you actually felt like kissing her
•meanwhile all illi could think about was you and how the dance floor lights made you look alive
•she was drunk enough to blame the alcohol when she first touched your waist, so gentle and so insecure that you couldn't help but smile
•it was enough to make her body shiver, painting her face red
•illi came a few steps closer and your bodies bumped to each other
•all she could think of was how small and warm you felt, so easy, so right
•the song you were dancing to had just ended but the tension built was still there, so strong you didn't think what you were doing when you whispered "how about sleeping at mine tonight?"
•when you got home and locked inside your room, too wasted to realise how loud both actually were, you silently thanked the universe that your parents weren't home that day
•illi was obviously too drunk when she said something about a guy flirting with you, wearing the weirdest expression as she laid on your bed, unaware of how sweet she looked
•"i don't like those kind" you said
•"what kind do you like then?" she asked
•the room grew heavy when you simply smirked at her and whispered "the fragile, hazel eyed, awkward, stupid kinda girl"
•it went silent for a moment
•that's when she sat on the edge of your bed and touched your right hand, pulling you slightly closer, staring straight to you
•illi would blame the alcohol and being drunk if none of what she understood was actually accurate, but she couldn't miss the chance cause god you looked so beautiful
•you walked closer and pressed her body unto your bed, getting over while getting a glimpse of her flushed cheeks
•"you look so beautiful" she said
•you laughed loud as you fixed the hair string that fell on her face, getting even closer, so close you could feel her breathing
•"that's you, illi. you always look painfully lovely to me"
•her heart skipped a beat
•now or never
•"can i k-kiss you?... or is weird? i totally get if you think is weird i just-" illi got lost in her own words
•you hated when she over thought
•you ended the thin space between you both in a fast move, finally getting a taste of her
•god she tasted so good
•you tasted exactly what she'd fantasized
•the warmth of your tongue and the taste of beer and tabacco made her lose her cool, so much that she'd let soft moans scape from her mouth every now and then
•god it felt so good
•her hands were running around your waist and hips over and over and over and over
•you could feel how hard she'd gotten right below you, which made you whimper in between kisses
•you ran your hands under her skirt and felt the earth collapse when you touched her over her panties and she let a strong solid moan fill the room
•the piece of fabric under your black dress went soaked as you slowly stroke her hard cock
•she wanted you badly and she was willing to show
•her hands went straight to your butt, feeling you, desiring you
•"please, let me fuck you" she said "even if is just for tonight, please"
•sweet illi was under you, hard as fuck, face gone red, absolutely horny, begging to fuck you
•there was no way you'd say no
•you took off both of your panties, fixed yourself over her and moaned as you felt her tip touch you, warm and wet
•"how much do you want it, illi? hm?
•"a lot! please let me feel you, please"
•"you look so pretty when you're needy"
•you let her whine and beg a few more times before slowly setting her inside
•it felt so god damn right you wondered why you haven't done this before
•you felt so fucking delicious around her cock it made her want to cum right away
•the heavy needed moans filled the room
•illi never felt this horny, never felt this good
•"you feel so fucking good" she said
•at some point all your clothes went missing and both of your bodies were crashing into each other, making it impossible to keep it quiet
•"you're gonna make me cum, illi. be a good girl and give it all to me, hm?" you whispered on her ear
•she groaned and switched positions, getting over you and stroking inside so hard you saw stars
•she didn't take half a minute to finish, letting it clear that you were in sync since the first kiss
•the world felt heavy and, as you could breathe again, the room went silent
SALIVATING at the idea of a kinda evil older sister illi who works hard to corrupt her little brother.. (not as in Mikey) ok thanks... big fan of evil illi
warnings/tags: male reader, basically bloodplay idk it's a really basic blurb
You two were huddled up on her bed, you more fixated on the girl getting slaughtered on her tv screen than she seemed to be. Illi was sitting up in her bed while your head was resting on her chest, and it was peaceful. It was nice when things could slow down just for a minute and you can be with your sister. Just like how things were when you both had less responsibilities.
Well, things seemed simple enough. You had felt the arm wrapped around your body move away, but you only assumed that Illi was readjusting and nothing more. It wasn't gone for long enough that you considered something being wrong, and you were focused on the movie anyway. That was before you heard the smallest click, not knowing that it was the blade you were eyeing on illi's desk earlier.
She corrected her posture just a little, then suddenly went to holding you like she was trying to restrain any and all movements. Do you couldn't get away.
"what'cha doing?" It was so innocent, so unsuspecting. How could your sweet sister do anything to hurt you on purpose?
"just stay still- okay? stay really fucken' still for me, and It'll be over soon."
The last of her words lingered in your mind, she worded it like it would be something uncomfortable but necessary. That's when you felt something cold meet your bare forearm, and a stinging sensation instantly.
she cut you.
not so deep that it would be a problem, but enough to upset you by the blood pooling at a time. She knew exactly what pressure to use, exactly how to get what she wanted.
"illi! Stop it, please! it hurts, what-" your whiny, confused yet desperate pleads only made her want to continue. She didn't respond, holding you tighter to stop your squirming before cutting you again. again. a few more times. enough, until she was satisfied.
enough was when you were crying and starting to get loud, which was music to her ears but she also needed you to keep it down. She picks up that same arm except so much more tenderly and brings it up to her soft lips, observing the beads of blood forming and what had already trailed down your arm before licking it. fucking licking the cuts.
spending time on each damaged area, nipping at the cuts just to hear you whine in pain and sob into her chest. You were rendered useless when it came to fighting back, because she still had the blade. You knew so much better. She lessens her intensity for just a moment to speak up,
"your blood tastes different than mine, but it's a good different.. I like yours a lot better."
When it eventually stopped bleeding or she just sucked the wounds dry she fully loosened the harsh grip on you into a more soothing one.
"want me to bandage that up, honey?"
It felt weird to say yes, knowing she's the one who caused you pain just to fulfill her own sick pleasures. But you couldn't say no to her, it would probably get infected especially if she did nothing to care for it. Maybe, just maybe you could just learn to like the pain. Anticipate it. Hope for it. This was only a taste.
