#illuderelict

[furtronic]

“I require constant validation otherwise I talk to boys on Tinder.” 🧍‍♂️ at Freddy–

“That is something I can do, superstar! You are indeed deserving of constant validation. We are friends, after all. I would not be friends with someone who does bad deeds. But... what is Tinder? That isn’t a place in the Pizzaplex I am aware of.... Is it a type of software like the BookFace and Instant Grams? If so, I only need the necessary upgrades and I can download it for you.”

[sensesdialed]

@illuderelict​ asked: " you’re on your own, kid. you always have been. " from soren!! // midnights prompts

   A REALIZATION that Peter has had countless times since it all fell apart— he felt it when the world turned its sharp blame against him, as he lost and let go of the only ones who were left to ground him through it all, the first step into his new, empty apartment... he is MEANT to carry responsibility, and he finds that loneliness is one of the heaviest burdens. It sits in his chest like the discarded photos and possessions and memories left behind, only able to take so much with him before it SPILLS OVER. It hurts, it hurts worse than anything he ever did before. Some nights, enough to make him cave and crumble and give it all up. But... Peter continues on, and he thinks that might be even harder. To reach every step, without anyone else by his side to share it with. Only himself and the city he strives to protect through it all.

   Though just because he knows his own loneliness, it doesn’t mean the words spoken won’t pierce through every cavity left. 

   Avoiding Soren’s gaze is pointless, but his eyes flicker downwards anyways, locked on the floorboards instead ( as if thinking about how they’re his instead of shared with anyone else, or how such a small space could feel so EMPTY— will do him any good here ). It’s nice to have them. One of the few parts still LEFT, exempt from the spell completely, but as much as Soren’s company brightens him... the voids are just too massive to fill again. And through moments like these, he just can’t seem to smile as much anymore— god, he misses who he used to be. 

   “I know...” He finally responds, wincing at the sound of his own voice— it’s smaller and too vulnerable for someone who should be pouring all his thoughts into staying afloat and saving those who need it. At least it keeps him DISTRACTED, drowning in responsibilities instead. 

“I knew what was going to happen and... I don’t regret it— I meant what I said, it... it was the RIGHT thing to do, it’s just-” The floorboards begin to blur as hot tears well in his eyes, and he fights the urge to push them away with the back of his palm, to seem more ready to face this than he has been this entire time ( again, it’s pointless, Soren knows ). “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. And I- I don’t know if I...” There it is, spilling over. “I miss them. I miss them so much, Soren. E-everyone, I can’t stop missing them.”

[sensesdialed]

@illuderelict​ asked: " pete, i CANNOT believe this. " the way cam barges in, one would think something serious was going on. however, instead of being anywhere close to serious, he instead turns his phone around to show some lyrics on the screen. " when were you gonna tell me taylor swift mentioned you, huh?? " // he cannot be left ALONE i suppose

   PETER’S EYES GO WIDE WITH SHOCK as Cam barges in, immediately expecting either the worst possible scenario or ... probably the dumbest possible sentence ( the two kinds of conversations they have! ). “Woah— woah! What? What is it?” Huh— not what he thought, but he leans forward to read the text on the screen anyways... before he realizes. “Wh- I—” Sure enough, the words ‘spider boy’ are right there... AND it’s an insult! “Hold on, what did I DO?!” Yes, he’s taking this personally. “I stop thieves anyways, that’s.. kinda half of my whole thing!” Seriously, why can’t he ever win? 

[sensesdialed-aa]

@illuderelict​ asked: ❛ the only one who gets to kill you, is me. ❜ 🧍‍♂️ // dark & angsty sentence starters

    SHARP BREATH AND QUIVERING LIP evident in the way Peter shakes— fear, of course that’s a part of it, but the risk of the situation at hand HARDLY compares to the way it stings overall. The younger brother– friend— enemy meets Cam’s eyes, struck by how VOID they are of anything resembling care... what they had left shattered to PIECES and he doesn’t even show an ounce of regret... it makes Peter feel SICK. The head-spinning, nauseating kind of sickness that makes even the simplest of tasks feel monumental. Maybe that’s why he’s stuck in place right now. Frozen, despite Cam’s threat and the way he advances towards him without hesitation. The idea of moving, of fighting back, of doing ANYTHING.... Peter can’t bring himself to face it. 

                                         Because reacting... reacting would make it too real. 

   “Cam-” He finally chokes out, vision blurring with hot tears ( ones that don’t fall yet, he’s almost surprised he still has some left ). Softness still lingers in his voice, born from the brief childish, stupid HOPE that Cam had tossed aside that other threat ( saved him, really ) in a last-ditch effort to start mending the conflict between them. Peter is starting to wish Cam didn’t still ignite his faith so easily... “Cam— please, this isn’t... this was NEVER you, please just talk to me-” It’s not going to work, it WON’T— it won’t because everything is already ruined and he’s finally taking steps backwards which don’t matter because he bumps into a wall anyways and would have crumpled in on himself then and there if his battle instincts weren’t still humming underneath his skin and Cam doesn’t CARE anymore. 

             “I-... I don’t know how much we can FIX, or if that’s even possible now, but there— HAS to be something better than this, why won’t you-” He should fight back, run, do SOMETHING, but that pales in comparison to everything else screaming at him to take every last chance. “Why won’t you listen to me?” 

[sensesdialed-aa]

@illuderelict​ asked: “i know i haven’t been what you needed, but i’m here, and i wanna help.” from Cam // more random dialogue prompts 

     THE APOLOGETIC WORDS seem to seep into Peter’s skin, intertwining with the weight that feels as if it’s been pressing down against his chest for... months now— at least, a heavier one than usual. His limbs are tired, his back aches, and exhaustion crawls its way into his heart, hardly helped by Cam’s absence when he promised he would be here. He promised, he keeps promising, and every other time, those swears come up empty-handed. Maybe Peter should just start EXPECTING it... stop relying on the relentless faith in Cam, in his brother, that flares up against ANY doubt... it makes him feel really stupid sometimes. Stupid and GULLIBLE, and Peter knows that shouldn’t be how he feels around him ( if only he knew just how gullible he’ll end up feeling soon... ). 

    Once it became clear that Cam wouldn’t show, Peter LEFT too. Tugging on the suit, mask pulled over his head as he swung out his window just like he might any other day, but this time with a horrible feeling to distract himself from. And it went fine! At least, it was going fine, but letting that fester beneath every distraction caught up to him eventually, and Peter MESSED UP.

     There were too many criminals, too many thoughts on his mind, too OVERWHELMING— and now he’s sat in front of Cam: bruised and bloody and having just come down from the panic that hit him in that alleyway. 

       “It’s— ... it’s fine-” Peter chokes out, his chest tight with every breath— it’s not Cam’s FAULT, after all. He was just... late, Peter’s the one who went on patrol when he was ALREADY in a bad headspace. “It was just- uh, a couple stupid mistakes, and— and I haven’t really slept as much and I guess everything recently has just been... I messed up, that’s it. And it’s not like you— ... I know you didn’t mean to...you know, ‘cause you showed up, so— it’s okay, really. I- uh, I could handle this!- too, just some stupid injuries, it’s nothing.” He knows that’s not what Cam means when he says help. “I’m okay, really...”

[sensesdialed-aa]

@illuderelict​ asked: “wanna tell me what’s going on with your grades?” also from Cam, get dad friended– // more random dialogue prompts

   PETER RAISES AN EYEBROW, giving Cam a look filled to the brim with confusion about why he’s asking him that— that’s the sort of question that May should be asking him, maybe even Happy or Mr. Stark if they ended up noticing an unusual slip amidst all the crimes he’s been updating them on. “Wh- I don’t know what you— what? My grades are fine!” Sure, they’ve gone down from PERFECT since he started skipping more classes and pushing his homework aside in favor of patrol, but it’s not like he’s struggling with finding that balance as much as he used to. He’s been keeping them up again for awhile now! “Did one of my teachers ask you to talk to me about it or something?— or, wait, is this about that one grade in gym? ‘Cause I have no idea how that happened!” Maybe something to do with ditching that class the most, or pretending he isn’t as capable as he is, OR any lingering injuries from nastier fights, or- 

         “They’re fine, though— they’re good! Nothing’s going on... with my grades, and everything, but especially those.” 

[sensesdialed-aa]

TACKLE HUGS THE SPROTHER ( spider brother )

   “WOAH— woah, woah...!” Repeated exclamation does nothing to stop the tackle hug from Cam, sending Peter stumbling backwards before he finds his footing, and still manages to hug back pretty quickly all things considered. “Cam! What are y- what are you doing— I mean, not that I— ‘course I appreciate the hug and everything! But... I wasn’t out that long, right??” 

[blazedefense-a]

@illuderelict asked: [  BOOT  ]  for  your  muse  to  press  their  boot  against  my  muse’s  mouth + [  LAUGH  ]  for  your  muse  to  laugh  at  my  muse  for  being  pathetic, at thoma from cam :) <3 // rp meme for the mood

  A STRANGLED GROAN AS HE CRASHES TO THE GROUND, Thoma’s body thrashing slightly as he tries to push himself back up, before a rough kick sends him tumbling right back down. The retainer sputters, a coughing fit after getting the wind so badly knocked out of him. He can already feel a strange, uncomfortable warmth gathering near his scalp— careful touch sends an explosion of pain through his skull, and the blood left on his shaking fingertip is enough to tell him that whatever it is, it’s not good. It isn’t as if he didn’t put up a good fight— Thoma wouldn’t dream of not putting all his efforts in where it counts, especially when the presence of hostile Fatui could not only risk his well-being, but so many others’...the Clan’s... the Kamisato’s...

     The weight of failure already sits heavy on his chest, heavier than the weight Cam presses onto him— he can’t... let that happen...

   “Ah- augh, Mmphh-!” Every pained noise and attempted word is muffled by harsh press keeping him down— his mouth fills with the taste of dirt and blood, leaving Thoma to push away the bile rising in his throat. With each passing second, he feels more and more like he can’t breathe, taunting laughter ECHOING in his head and fueling rising shame. He can still fight, he HAS to still fight. 

 With both hands, Thoma pushes against the sole of Cam’s shoes, gritting his teeth and exerting all his strength into moving him away. It’s just long enough to roll out of Cam’s immediate grasp, gripping his polearm from the ground and pushing himself up to one knee. “I’m not...” Pause for breath— beat up as he is, Thoma hasn’t given up.. “— ...going down yet...”