I miss Zeldris and Meliodas being referred to as The Stars
It makes me wonder if that's why Mel carved the double star into Varghese's helmet. To be a part of their allegiance. Ended up fitting very well since Percy was later adopted into their family by Zeldris and Gelda.
summary: after an awkward blind date you and schlatt come to an agreement
word count: ~4.2k
author's note: sorry this took so long, this chapter kicked my ass. lots of plot here though! hope you enjoy. also huge thank you to @squinch-depraved for helping so much this entire chapter, especially with the ringtone bit
Dread pooled in your core while you slowly followed Chloe, throwing out promises of things you’d do if Schlatt wasn’t your date in your mind. It could always be someone else around him, if there were anyone else around him. But, unfortunately for you, it became painfully clear that it was him when Chloe waved to him, grinning.
It also became clear that he wasn’t thrilled the moment he saw you, his face subtly dropping. Before you could pull Chloe in to explain why you couldn’t go through with this she introduced you two. “Okay, so this is Schlatt. I’m not gonna tell you too much, but he’s one of Ted’s roommates,” she told you before leaning in to whisper to you, “And he’s a bit of an… Introvert. And a total pessimist, soo Ted and I thought you two would get along great! Maybe cancel each other out or something.”
Your stomach churned, letting out a defeated giggle. “Your plan was to cancel negativity with more negativity?”
“No, no, they’re–it’s in a magnet way. Like the two negative magnets cancel eachother out,” Chloe contended, confident she was right.
You shook your head, unsure how to explain this to her. “But you didn’t mean it like that, right?” Your eyes shifted to Schlatt for a split second, unsure what to say or do.
The moment you looked at Schlatt he moved his attention to Chloe. “Yeah, they’d repel.”
Chloe let out a deep breath, “You both already agree on something, it’s a match.” You tried not to look at Schlatt again as she said that, “Have fun kids, if you want a ride back you only got like, an hour. Orr, I can get you both an uber somewhere if you need, I probably won’t even be home,” She winked.
You and Schlatt both refused, him saying, “No worries, I’m sure we won’t be too long, not gonna kick you out of your place either.”
He wasn’t wrong, but did he have to say it like that? He was sure, no you were sure! He’d be lucky to even get another five minutes with you. Instead of trusting your gut and telling him off then leaving, you reluctantly sat in the booth, watching Chloe leave. You stared down at your thumbs, wondering how you’d survive an hour. Even though you still held this strange respect for Schlatt, you knew he didn’t have the same for you, and it was humiliating. You felt the same as you did the night you two first met, like some clingy puppy.
Schlatt snapped you back into reality. “So.. ’m Schlatt. Comp sci.” Seriously? That was it? It felt like the first day of the semester again, introducing your name, major, and state before having a quick chat and making a promise to hangout, even though you never would.
To Schlatt’s credit, your introduction wasn’t any better. You couldn’t figure out a way to break the ice. You studied Schlatt’s face, trying to gauge his mood. He always looked a bit pissed off, yet calm. Like he just woke up from a nap and needed a few to adjust. Assuming he remembered the party, and didn’t wanna be here, you needed him to know this wasn’t your fault. You pinched the gap between your index finger and thumb, finally speaking, “So, you got roped into this too? By Ted?”
You felt the tension clear as he laughed. “Yep, Ted’s real persuasive. Couldn’t avoid him forever.”
“Oh, I hear you,” you chuckled, relieved everything finally felt less awkward. “Chloe’s been bugging me about this for months, eventually I had to cave in.”
Schlatt nodded, finally able to look you in the eye, “Guess this’s been in the works for a while.”
“Yeah,” You replied, unable to muster up anything else. For some reason, the way Schlatt looked at you freaked you out. It was impossible to tell if he was enjoying himself, or wanted to choke you to make you finally shut up. You saw his hands slide under the table to use his phone, probably to curse Ted for making him go on this date. You looked back at him, “So, uh, how’re your classes?”
Schlatt turned off his phone, putting it back in his pocket. “Fine, few of my profs are absolute dicks though.”
You agreed, “Oh my god same. It has to be a power thing, right?”
“Yeah. Sucks ‘cause they always teach my worst classes.”
“Oh?” You felt your heart speed up. Maybe it was weird, but learning what Schlatt struggled in was exactly what you needed. “Like what?”
“Fuckin’ intro to ethics. Knew it was stupid to take.”
A faint smile spread across your lips against your will, forcing you to tilt your head down towards the table. “No way, I’m taking that too, with Chloe actually. Dr. Callahan, right?”
“Yep, class ‘s a serious pain in the ass.”
You nodded, noticing that your waiter was approaching the table. They dropped two menus off, saying they’d be back in a bit to see what you wanted to drink. “So, know what you’re gonna get?” Schlatt asked as you browsed the drink section.
“Oh, not sure. I haven’t been here before,” you replied. What you failed to mention was that you hadn’t been out much at all. You rarely even left campus, only doing so when you were forced to. The most you’d done in quite a while was show up to small lunches and third wheeled Ted and Chloe, which was one of the reasons why you were so worried for today. You hadn’t been on a date in… a while, and going out with anyone was anxiety inducing, especially Schlatt.
Schlatt tapped the back of the leather enclosed menu, “You drink? Looks like they’ve got some pretty decent stuff.”
“Not often,” you admitted, “But tonight’s fine.”
Schlatt nodded, a triumphant smile spread across his lips, “Alright, anythin’ you want. On me.” He checked the section again, “I think ‘m gonna go with the bourbon. Can’t bet it’ll be too good, but it’s worth a shot.”
“Jesus, that’s strong.”
Schlatt hummed, “Guess it is. That bother you?”
You quickly shook your head, “No! No, it’s fine. I’m probably just gonna get a coke and rum though, if that’s fine.”
“Yeah, ‘course. Free country and all,” he said. Schlatt then took a shot in the dark, trying to test the waters. “As long as you’re sure you can take it, could be a bit too much for you to handle.”
You giggled, trying to not get too embarrassed, “I’m sorry for not wanting to get plastered on a first date.”
“Woah there, ‘m a big guy, whiskey’s not gonna wreck me.” He said, his hands up.
You laughed again, “I bet you are.” It took a beat of silence to realize what you just implied, and you immediately tried to correct it, “Shit! I mean, not like that–I swear.”
“Relax, ‘t’s fine,” He cackled, struggling to contain himself as he watched you squirm. You slapped your hand over your mouth, wanting to crawl into your own skin.
Even worse, the waiter was suddenly standing at the table, and you didn’t notice. You had no clue how long they’d been there, but knew that you had to compose yourself. “So, can I start you guys off with some drinks?”
Schlatt started, ordering for the two of you, “Yeah. Could I get a bourbon, neat,” he glanced at you, “And a rum and coke?”
You bowed your head, “Yes please.”
The waiter scribbled down your small order on their note-pad, “Alright, I’ll need some form of identification from you two.”
“Oh shit, I totally forgot you guys needed that here, sorry. One second…” You grabbed your purse as Schlatt handed over his license. You rummaged through the bag, pulling out your wallet to hand over your ID.
They checked them both before handing each back, “Okay then, you two should be good to go. I’ll be right back.” They then walked away, leaving you and Schlatt alone, in silence.
Schlatt grabbed his menu, looking down at the entrees, “What d’ya think your gettin’?”
“Oh, uh, I’m not sure. You?” You asked, looking through the menu.
He took a second to respond, putting down his menu when he did, “I was thinkin’ a cheese burger? Y’could have some of the fries if you want.”
You paused. That was oddly sweet? Especially coming from Schlatt. “Uh I might–Maybe I’ll get one of those too, sounds pretty good…” You practically mumbled, oddly touched by such a small gesture. Tonight doesn’t mean anything, you remind yourself. He wanted to get in and out, and so did you. You just had to wait about an hour, then you could leave.
A small acknowledgement slipped through Schlatt’s lips before there was silence, yet you didn’t notice. The only thing you could focus on was him. He somehow looked so similar, but felt so different. Your eyes drifted from his lips to his eyes, which were staring right back at you.
“You folks ready to order?”
Your head snapped to the side, seeing the waiter was back, having just placed your drink. Flustered, you responded, “Uh yeah–yeah, sorry. Burgers, right?” Schlatt stayed silent, only grunting in agreement while his eyes stayed on the table. “Yeah, two cheese burgers please.”
“Got it, it’ll be out shortly.” The waiter said, grabbing your menus before leaving you two alone, again.
You kept your attention on your cup, tapping the sides of it. You tried to break the silence, unaware he was on his phone. “So, see any movies lately, or…”
“Last week me ‘n Ted saw the new Joker movie.”
“Isn’t Lady Gaga in it? I heard she was good.”
“It was okay, first one was better.”
“Yeah, they usually are.”
He chuckled loosely with a nod, the conversation reaching a halt.
“Weather startin’ to cool down finally,” Schlatt said, rhythmically tapping the table.
You agreed, drink in hand once again for another taste. “Yep, it’s nice. Finally feels like fall.”
“Especially after how crazy hot summer was, right?”
“Definitely–”
♪ Oh , I'm a gummy bear
Yes, I'm a gummy bear ♫
♪ Oh, I'm a yummy, tummy, funny, lucky gummy bear
I'm a jelly bear, 'cause I'm a gummy bear ♫
♪ Oh, I'm a movin', groovin', jammin', singin' gummy bear, oh yeah
Gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy bear ♫
You scrambled to find your phone, sending Chloe to voicemail. You thought it would be over, until it went off again, multiple texts coming through.
♪ Oh , I'm a gummy bear
Yes, I'm a gummy bear– ♫
♪ –Oh , I'm a gummy bear
Yes, I'm a gummy bear– ♫
♪ Oh , I'm a gummy bear
Yes, I'm a gummy bear ♫
♪ Oh, I'm a yummy, tummy, funny, lucky gummy bear–
Four times. It rang four times before you could silence your phone. You knew having a custom ringtone for her was a stupid idea. After a second of silence, when you went to apologize Schlatt began to cackle, “The fuck was that? I mean, it was you, but…”
“I know, I know! Look, forever ago I set a custom ringtone for Chloe, it was super fucking stupid but I just haven’t had the time to change it.”
He shook his head, “No need you explain yourself little lady, I got one for Ted.”
You smiled, ignoring how the nickname rang in your ears. “What is it?”
“Gangnam style. ‘ts been that since highschool, I don’t even remember why anymore,” he admitted.
“Oh wow, you two’ve known eachother for a while. Chloe and I met freshman year.”
He nodded, “Yeah. I knew him and Tucker from high school, and we met Charlie when we were sophomores.”
“It’s cool you’re all so close. I think I’d go insane sharing a house with a bunch of my friends. I love them, don’t get me wrong, but I just couldn’t.”
“Trust me, Doll, I get it. Sometimes they do small shit that makes me wanna wring ‘em out,” he paused, taking a second to think, “I take a lot of walks.”
Doll? Again? Someone was getting bold. From the corner of your eye you spotted your waiter on their way back with you and Schlatt’s food. “Thank you so much.”
“Of course,” They said, setting down a burger and fries in front of both you and Schlatt. “Let me know if either of you need anything, okay?” They asked, leaving the moment they saw a nod.
Schlatt grabbed the ketchup from his left, pouring a bit on his plate. “Want some?”
“Sure.” You leaned closer to the table, taking the bottle from him to take some as well. You put it back down, looking at him to see him try a fry. You dipped a fry in yours, taking a taste. “They’re good, right?”
Schlatt shook his head, “Yeah. Bit crispy, but nice.”
“Guess I didn’t notice. I like them that way.”
“It’s fine when they’re warm, but it sucks when they cool down.” He looked down at his burger. “Thing’s gonna fall apart.”
You grabbed yours, opening it to put in a bit of ketchup and get a closer look. “Definitely.” After a short squirt of ketchup you took a bite, struggling to keep it together. You put it back down, dabbing your face gently with a napkin. “It’s real greasy, too.”
“The good ones always are,” He said, taking a look at his before eating it. “They gave me a shit ton of pickles.”
You saw two slices fall onto his plate as he took a bit, making you inspect your food. You lifted the top bun, realizing you didn’t have a single one. You put it back down to look up at him. “You’re never gonna believe this, they didn’t get me any.”
“Weird.” He grabbed the two unbitten slices which slid off his burger. He held them up, asking, “Want some?”
“Ew, no. Those don’t look right. They’re like, blue-ish?” You watched as he wiggled them around, grossing you out while making you giggle. “Why do they seem so slimy?”
“‘Cause they are. They’re fuckin’ gross too. Have one.” He threw them on your plate, making you squeal.
“No! Oh my god, get those away from my food, that’s so gross.” You made a mental note never to come back here, using a fry to isolate the pickles from the rest of your meal.
He grinned, “You have to try it. C’mon.” He took the remaining pickles from his food, discarding them in a napkin. “Not like ‘ts gonna kill you.”
“Yeah but whatever bacteria is crawling on it might.” You glanced at them again, noticing a fly circling them. “This place is seriously gross.”
“I’m terribly sorry it isn’t up to your standards, princess.” Okay, now you’re princess? He was getting bold, to a point that was hard to ignore.
“God forbid I don’t want bugs on my food,” You mumbled. You stared down at the plate, unable to tell if your stomach felt unwell because of his name calling or how awful the food was. You grabbed another fry, figuring you’d eat them and take the burger to go (so you could throw it out when you get home).
After that conversation died down again, tiny bits of small talk popping up for a few minutes before fizzling out, and you were absolutely sick of it.
“Uh, is it just me, or is it kind of annoying how Chloe and Ted kind of just threw us together and hoped it would work?” You said, referencing how your friends had sent you two here blind, barely even considering how you felt (or how uncomfortable this would be).
Schlatt seemed caught off guard, but immediately agreed. “Yeah. Honestly, the only reason I came was to get them off my back. I figured you wouldn’t even come, anyways.”
“Really? I was kind of worried you’d bail,” You admitted, glad that as you spoke everything finally felt normal. “You think they even considered how awkward shit’s gonna be after this?”
“Doubt it, but it’s gonna be weird for sure. Can’t imagine they’ll drop this,” He forced a small laugh, still on edge. It could be the slight buzz in his system, or how good you looked all dressed up, but he felt like one small slip up could suddenly shatter him.
“Definitely not. Even before this they liked to joke around about my romantic life, and now that I've gone on a date again for the first time in…” You paused, unsure how long it'd really been. “Well, a while, so this is like, never gonna go away.” You tried to laugh it off again, also suddenly nervous.
“Yeah, totally. I mean, I can't help but feel like everyone's been talking about this behind our backs, y’know?” Schlatt couldn’t pin it down, but something about your laughter made his head spin.
“I wouldn’t even be surprised. I think they found their two loneliest friends and went why not,” you remarked, taking a final sip of your drink.
He laughed awkwardly, your comment hitting too close to home. “Sure feels like it. I mean, I don't see why they bothered with this. We probably won't talk after this, which is fine, but it’s like they didn’t even consider that? ‘m not even sure anymore, I feel like their fuckin’ gerbil.”
“No, I get it. I’m like, this close to finding the nearest guy and getting with him, just to shut them up,” You chuckled, as if it were some casual plan, and not something that kept you up at night.
He nodded, forcing himself to let out a small chuckle as well, unsure if you were joking. “Yeah, but you don’t actually plan on doing that… Right?”
“Probably not..” You said, adding on, “Maybe if I get desperate enough.”
The slightest spread smile across his lips, relieved you were joking. “I get that.. At this rate, ‘m probably gonna end up doin’ the same.”
Although you couldn’t tell if he was joking, you felt more confident than normal. So you figured to throw something out. Why couldn’t you be bold? What could go wrong? You replied quickly and quietly. “I feel like I could help, if that were the case.”
You saw his eyes widen before the waiter came back to you two, “Hey guys, just checking that everything’s alright?”
“Oh, uh, no,” You said, eyes fixated on them to avoid the sudden shame that fell upon you.
They smiled, “Alright, but let me know if either of you need anything.”
The moment they left Schlatt’s attention was back on you, making you curse yourself mentally. You should’ve just gotten the check and gotten out as fast as you could. Schlatt stayed silent, still thinking about what you said right before the waiter came.
You looked down at the table, wondering if he heard what you had previously said. You knew there was no way he missed it. He had to be pretending that he hadn’t heard you. “Food’s uh, food’s good. You have good taste.” You murmured, obviously still embarrassed.
Schlatt didn’t speak, grinning a bit. Strangely, seeing you be a mumbling mess was cute to him. He shook his head, “Thanks.” Seeing you like this felt nice, yet he felt awful about the pleasure he derived from it. He shut down his thoughts, clearing his throat.
Your eyes shot back up at him, dreading whatever he was about to say. Maybe he’d ask for a takeout box and a check? Ask to never talk again? Ask why on earth you’d say that? He matched the pitch you used earlier, practically whispering, “I heard what you said, earlier.”
You anxiously looked up at him, trying desperately to read his expression. The moment you two made eye contact your gaze shot right back down. “I was kidding. I'm so sorry, I really don't know why I said it. I was—I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”
Hearing you apologize made Schlatt feel even worse. He didn’t say anything, struggling to find a way to make the situation less… Well, less anything? He shifted in his seat, ignoring the apology. “You were really just kidding?”
You ignored all thoughts, quickly responding. “Only if you were.”
Schlatt felt his heartbeat spike, practically leaping out of his chest. He felt like he was building his own coffin, and all he had to do was hammer in the final nail. “Mean it?”
You thought of what to say, unsure how you could frame your wording without freaking him out. Instead of taking the plunge and admitting it, you deflected once again, “Well… Were you?”
“Asked you first,” He said, too much of a coward to tell you the truth. He was still unable to tell if you were serious, or just trying to mess with him, which horrified him.
“Schlatt, I’m sorry. I kind of was? I didn’t mean anything too serious. More like one for show—Just to get them off our backs.”
The more he thought about it, the more the idea warmed up to him. He took a second, not wanting to seem to open to the idea, while not trying to shut it down. “Guess it could work.”
You could barely believe him, relieved yet astonished he hadn’t already left. “You're serious? Like, seriously considering it?”
“I mean, why not? Gets ‘em off my back, ‘nd yours too. Can’t see a reason why not.”
A shaky laugh left you, “So we’ve got a deal?” You put your hand out, a smile plastered across your cheeks.
His rough hand took yours, shaking it firmly, “Yep.”
“We should set ground rules, right?”
Schlatt seemed as if you snapped him back to reality with that, realizing what everything entailed. “Oh, yeah, sure. Like what?”
“Uh, not sure. I haven’t really done this before,” You chuckled, grabbing a napkin next to you, “Fake dates, boundaries, that sort of stuff.”
He paused, agreeing as he thought of where to begin. It was strange to try and shape a hypothetical relationship, but it was better to sort all of it out now and not later. He tried to be as respectful as possible, though he was worried he might slip up. “Makes sense.”
“Well, I'll take it you're not a big PDA guy? Even when in real relationships?”
Schlatt took a second, knowing you were somewhat right, still wanting to deny it. “‘ts not like I hate it, I just don’t think ‘ts super important.” It wasn’t a complete lie, it annoyed him and he didn’t understand it, yet deep down he craved it. If he thought hard enough about it, everyone did.
Schlatt felt his palms warm up, sweaty as you spoke again, “So it'd make sense if we weren't that affectionate. We'd just need to like, hold hands, or be generally close to each other sometimes. Maybe like, a kiss every now and then—If that's fine! We can just say it feels weird to be in front of people if you're not fine with that.”
He watched as your cheeks reddened, his own face heating up as well. “No, uh,” He shook his head, “‘ts fine. Whatever we gotta do, we do. Doesn’t mean anything, right?” Schlatt pushed the idea of an actual kiss down to the depths of his mind, ignoring the nauseating sensation that came with it.
“Not a thing.” You leaned over to your purse, grabbing a pen. You took the napkin you grabbed earlier, repeating everything said earlier. “Okay so, minimal affection in front of people, but some for sure.”
Schlatt shook his head, “Great. Anythin’ else?” He watched your delicate hands struggle to write on the napkins, wondering if he should offer to write it in his notes, or let you do your thing.
He opted for the latter, letting you add. “Let’s say one or two dates a week? Nothing too big, just the park or something.
“We could do somethin’ at one of our places or the library, then I’ll take you somewhere?” Schlatt offered, already trying to think of spots to take you.
You nodded, writing that down. “And we’ll split all the bills? Keep things fifty-fifty.”
He stopped you, “No, ‘ts fine. We can stay at your place most of the time, ‘nd I’ll pay for stuff.”
You smiled, amused he was already a better fake boyfriend than your previous real ones. “So you think me getting to kick out Chloe once a week and not having to pay for anything is fair?”
“If it keeps you the fuck away from my place, then definitely.”
You saw no point in arguing, taking the win as you added the rule. “Then we’re good?”
Schlatt thought for a moment. Was he seriously plotting out a fake relationship? And was he gonna commit to it for god knows how long? He was gonna crack. There was no way he’d be able to handle being with you constantly, while not being able to actually love you. You’d seriously be the death of him. “Yeah.”
You wrote two little lines to sign you and his names, putting yours down before adding a final rule. “Almost forgot, don’t fall in love.”
He couldn’t help but smile at how you giggled, ignoring how the word love alone was enough to terrify him. And the thought that someone—you could be in love with him was enough to send him spiraling.
He signed his name on the ratty napkin, repeating you.
“Don’t fall in love.”
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taglist: @limecorpse @manticore-fangs @your-antares-universe @mister-sandwich @jschlattsqtip @z0m81ez4gg3d
ask to be added
Ah, I don’t care about others. I care about you. The people who matter have already pieced who I am together anyways. I do like people who are attempting to pursue you knowing who their “competition” is though. Putting a name to the shameless flirt must feel nice for them. And claiming you with a real name attached is far too fun to pass up. So I don’t mind.
Do you want me to reference how you’re sounding in DMs here?
