Summary: After you saved the world, Julian wakes up from a nightmare, old demons in his eyes. You're here for him but your own doubts aren't far.
Warnings: Nothing worse than what you get in the game : Quick allusion to Julian's canon trauma (non-graphic), the reader is a little anxious at one point but overall it's comfort and sleepy fluff. Cuddles and kissing but nothing NSFW. Spoilers for Julian's route but if you're reading this you might already have finished the route.
Info: Reader is gender neutral. No use of pronouns besides you/your. No mention of skin, eyes or hair color, form or texture but Reader is said to have hair. If you squint, Julian could be interpreted as taller than the reader at one point.
It starts with small but quick movements besides you, then you hear a breath quicken. You're still tiptoeing between being asleep and being awake but something is telling you to wake up.
"Don't... I can.. Save..." The voice is familiar but it's the pain you can hear in it that wakes you up abruptly.
Sleep is still making your eyelids heavy but you turn anyway to see Julian still asleep, his face so tense you're surprised he hasn't awaken yet. You hesitate only an instant before your hand finds his shoulder, shaking it gently.
"Julian."
He sits up quickly, startled, his eyes searching the dark room frantically until they find yours. He exhales, his shoulders loosing a fraction of the tension they hold. You're not entirely sure of what you see in his eyes but his left hand moving to gently cup your face attract your attention. His other hands finds your shoulder and he brings you in a hug. You put your arms around him, it's almost automatic now. As you're still fighting to stay awake only with the strength of your worry for him, the comfort of his arms is welcome.
His breath is still too sharp for your liking so you rub soothing circles on his back.
"I'm here, you're safe, we're home." You say softly, just loud enough for him to hear.
His breath quietens ever so slightly. You wait a few instants more but he stays silent, still holding you for dear life. Bottling it up as usual. Your sleepy mind consider a moment about not asking him what's wrong to not cross a boundary but you're barely able to form a coherent thought right now. You settle on some encouraging words letting him choose what he wants to do with what troubles him.
"Wanna tell me what bothers you?"
Silence follows, just long enough for you to doubt he will even answer, before his voice reach your ears, softer and less assured than usual.
"Bad memories. The plague."
Your thumbs stop the soft rubbing on his back. The plague. You might not have a lot of memories from that time but you do remember when it almost came back. The devil's sick smile flashes into your mind, his laugh seems to overwhelm your ears for an instant and you grip Julian a little more tightly.
"I didn't mean to upset you." Julian voice sounds remorseful and you wonder how he can still find the emotional strength to pay attention to your state while he is clearly in distress.
"You didn't. Unless you're secretly the devil or something." You tone of voice is vaguely playful but you're too tired to prevent the sinking feeling in your stomach. You beat the devil but that didn't mean you didn't have doubts at one point. Julian could have gotten hurt. So could have everyone that fought that day. You're vaguely aware that you wouldn't feel that bad if you had enough sleep but the thought quickly fades away.
You feel his lips turn into a small smile in the crook of your neck. "I'm not."
The silence falls in between you again but you don't let it take root.
"We're in this together, huh?" You say slowly as Julian's hands play with your hair absently. "We can't erase our past and neither of us wants to overwhelm the other with our darkest fears but maybe we can support each other as we deal with our own troubles."
Julian hums in agreement before he gets a little farther from you to see your face. You see him attempt his usual rogue smile but you know him enough to see right through it.
"Sure there isn't a magic spell that would give me the ability to take all of your troubles away? I'm used to trouble, I'm trouble. I can handle it, I'm strong enough."
You know he is only half joking.
"So am I." You raise you hand to cup his cheek and he melt into your touch, his eyes closing to enjoy the sensation.
"I guess then I'll have to simply use another way of helping, maybe I could start with cuddles." He says as he brings you closer.
You let your head fall to his shoulder.
"You're the one who had a nightmare, I'm the one doing the supporting right now." You say playfully, happy to see him acting more like himself.
He pursues his lips like if he' was deep in thought.
"Well, you're right. Then maybe you could try kissing me. Maybe it would help make me think about better things..." A twinkle in his eyes makes you hopeful.
You draw a finger to his cheek to gently push his face towards yours so your lips can meet. The kiss is soft and sleepy until Julian's hand cups your face to deepen it.
When you break the kiss, Julian follows up with a gentle kiss to your nose, then your forehead and you let your head fall to his shoulder once more. They feel more relaxed now and his frowns seems lighter. You listen to his breath and let out a satisfied little sigh when you realize it's deeper and more regular. Not yet calm, but that's already progress.
"You know you can talk to me right?" You said again and he nods.
"Tomorrow? I think we could use some sleep before talking about upsetting things." He kisses the top of your head as he starts to lay down again, gently taking you with him.
You lay down, your head resting on his chest where one of your hands traces circles slowly.
"You're sure you can sleep again so soon?"
Julian smiles, moving slightly to find a more comfortable position while staying close to you. He brings the cover back over your bodies.
"With you by my side? There's nothing I couldn't do. Not even sleeping" His voice sounds assured even if his eyes are still a little unfocused.
"Breath with me?" You say lazily, knowing you're sleepy enough for your breath to be deeper than his.
He looks startled for a moment before faintly blushing in the dim light that filters through the window.
"Helps calms down your breath." You precise, fighting against sleep.
"Okay."
"Inhale." You say as you breath in slowly, squeezing his hand as you do. "Exhale." You release the soft pressure on his hands. You're not sure it's useful to add a gentle squeeze to the breath, but it seems like a good way of helping him get out of his mind and back into his body.
When you squeeze his hand again, he squeezes softly back. "Inhale," he says before doing it. "Exhale."
Your breaths slowly sync together as you repeat the process, soon letting go of the spoken cues.
"I'm here." You say as you doze off with a soft smile.
"I'm here too." You hear him answer, sleep heavy in his voice.
next next next, "oh stop pouting, i'm coming" with a sleepy sleepy julian, and maybe "sad...i have a blanket with all this extra room and no one to share it with" too? it fits together
I literally forgot about this for, like, a week lmao
“Are you almost done?” Julian asked.
You glanced back at him and couldn’t suppress a smile. He’d moved his pillow to the end of the bed so he could rest on his stomach while still looking at you. Although, with the way his hair was falling in his eyes, you doubted he could actually see anything.
You’d have loved nothing more than to join him, but there was a still a pile of books on your desk that you had yet to begin in.
“No,” you sighed. “I have to get this done, my love.”
“Nadia won’t mind if you take a break, you know,” he pointed out. “In fact, she’d probably be upset if she knew how hard you’re pushing yourself.”
“I know, Julian. But this is serious. People are getting sick and we need to find out everything we can about it. If it’s contagious, if it has a magical origin, how to cure it-“
Julian’s soft chuckle interrupted you. “I’m a doctor, (Y/N). I know this is important. But my point is that you won’t be any use to anyone if you keel over in the middle of dinner.”
You knew he had a point, but you were determined to keep going as long as you could. Determined to avoid a second Red Plague.
“Sorry, my love. You’ll have to sleep without me.”
Julian sighed dramatically, rolling over onto his back and letting his head hang over the edge of the bed. “Shame. I have a blanket with all this extra room and no one to share it with…”
“I know what you’re doing, Ilya,” you said, bringing out his old name to show that you were serious.
Julian flashed you a smirk, somehow looking even more striking upside-down. “Is it working?”
“No,” you said stubbornly.
His smirk faded and now he was pouting at you. “(Y/N), please. We’ve barely seen each other all week. I miss you.”
You turned away, staring at the scroll in front of you, but the words refused to register. Behind you, Julian sighed again.
You knew a losing battle when you saw one.
“Oh, stop pouting,” you groaned, pushing the chair back and getting up. “I’m coming.”
Julian smiled. “I knew that would work.”
“Keep going and I’m going to smother you with a pillow, my love.”
Summary: Julian knows he can give her everything that Lucio can’t.
Pairing: Julian Devorak x countess!fem!reader
Warnings: Lucio being misogynistic, blink and you’ll miss it. (Lmk if I need to add more)
A/N: THIS TOOK SO LONG IM SO EXTREMELY SORRY OH MY GOD. I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT AND THIS DOESN’T FLOP BECAUSE IF IT DOES I’LL BE MISERABLE FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK. I’m actually very proud of it so 😏 thank you sooooo much @ladyamoit <333 Enjoy everyone!
Her head still hurts as she walks down the hallways of the castle in search of doctor Devorak. This, unfortunately, won’t be the first time she comes to him at three in the morning with a migraine that makes her head feel like it’s going to combust at any moment. He should expect her by now. Every time Lucio and Y/N fight, she ends up in his office complaining of the throbbing pain from the stress the whole thing caused.
He heard them argue today, as many times before, and she just knew that if there was a possibility of him being more extra than how he already was, he’d be setting up his herbs and making some tea to help her headache and brag about how much he knows her.
She finally reaches his door.
Knock, knock, knock.
Only then, she noticed how the cold tiles on the floor touching her naked feet wouldn’t help her current state, but she could just hope he’d open the door soon so she could sit down and pull them away from the coolness. The thought made her even more impatient, so she reached for the wood with her hand curled up in a fist to knock again whe- “Hello there... your highness” he smiled, faking the decorum and tone he used back when they first met and bowing dramatically.
His everyday outfit changed little, the key being his blouse. It was unbuttoned all the way down, but still tucked. Might’ve interrupted him while he was changing. But he still opened the door, so, whatever. “Greetings, doctor Devorak,” she sighed with a light giggle, but picking up a serious demeanor right after sitting in one of the chairs inside.
“I’m here because I need help!” she said dramatically, trying to keep up with Jule’s silly little game. “Let me be useful, countess, for I was born to serve you. I’m all yours,” he winked, making her both laugh and blush furiously as he began heating water on a makeshift fireplace he had set up on his desk. “My head hurts terribly, I’m afraid,” “Oh dear! We must fix it right away. I can’t stand another second knowing milady is in agony... but what should be the reason for this tragedy?”
He asked like he didn’t know the answer, making her momentarily re-live the fight... displaying visibly on her face, assuming by how he continued his speech right away; “It must be that yellow fellow you have for a husband, huh?” he said, raising his eyebrows in question. The nickname he used for Lucio making them both die of laughter on the spot, her laugh making him laugh and beginning a never-ending cycle they greatly appreciated during such hard times created by the plague.
They laughed so hard, for so long, the hurting in her head moved into a much more pleasant one in her belly. Julian caused that pleasant pain that she never wanted to let go quite often.
And then there was that silence.
The one accompanied by the noises of two people trying to catch their breath and small giggles interrupting every once in a while.
Quietness. Sincerity approaching.
One...
He sits up straight and puts away the boiling water.
Two...
He turns to look at Y/N warmly.
Three.
“Wanna talk about it, darlin’?” he asks, looking her straight in the eye.
And to be honest, Julian knew she’d vent for hours and he’d listen to all of it if that meant she’d feel better. God, he’d love avoiding the pain Lucio caused her if he could. But he was her husband, and she was his wife. There wasn’t much left to do other than listen to her and treat the migraines all the crying served with the salty cheeks.
He’d kiss her tears away if he could- no.
He needs to stop himself for two reasons;
One, she was Lucio’s wife.
Two, in his head, she obviously loved him as a friend.
And Julian had been pondering this for a long time, yes. But he still couldn’t figure it out; Were the feelings platonic? Was he actually in love with the countess? Would she feel the same if he were? There were many unanswered questions rushing a thousand miles per hour inside his head when he had time to think about “mundane matters”.
Mundane matters? Were his feelings for the bright girl who walked with him through the city looking for herbs and other products mundane? No, they weren’t. Love is as strong as a hurricane and its winds can lift you high into the air, making you feel full of joy and adoration, only to let you fall hard and deep into the confines of a heartbroken soul. That isn’t mundane.
That’s rather important and something to worry about if you ask me.
Julian thought he had gone through all the potential scenarios that his feelings (or the lack of them) could cause. Considering all the possibilities, circumstances, issues, parts.
And he had, except one. A crucial part of this dilemma.
Y/N.
Oh, poor Y/N was confused too. She cried herself to sleep almost every single night over how the man she married ignored her most of the day. And smiled until her cheeks hurt over how happy Julian made her feel. Then she let the guilt eat her alive because how could she be feeling something other than friendly appreciation for someone else while still being married to that dickhead?
In the beginning, there were moments where she thought she could decide between Ilya and Lucio; like when Lucio came upstairs a bit earlier than usual and the first thing he did was hug her waist and leave a tiny peck on her head before dozing off. “He loves me. I fell in love with him... he might not show it all the time, but he’s really sweet. Plus, he’s really busy trying to protect Vesuvia from the illness,” she thought to herself, smiling and snuggling closer into his bare chest, only to be completely ignored the next morning.
At some point, she stopped hurting herself with fake ideas of what she could do to have her Lucio back.
That’s when she realized something about Jules;
His mere existence brought joy into the deepest confines of her hurt, neglected soul.
And so, they started spending more and more time together.
Truth is, they both knew they were slowly falling for the other, but subconsciously repressed and denied the situation.
“Darling?” he asked again while pouring the previously boiled water into a cup and adding some herbs before handing it to her. “I-It was the same old stuff, Julian. You heard us, no need to act like you didn’t” she laughed bitterly, the sound he loved to hear exuding everything but joy. “I’m sorry, Y/N” “What for? It’s not your fault Lucio keeps forgetting he has a wife or a life away from social approval and people who love kissing his ass all the time... or the plague. A-Am I being selfish? I’m sorry if I-I am Jules I- should probably go to Asra w-when these things hap-pen, r-right? On-e little spe-ell and po-off huh?” she recalled, feeling some tears well up in her eyes once again, emotions hitting her like a wave crashing into the shore as she giggled bitterly on that last part.
“Come here,” Julian cooed, opening his arms and letting Y/N sit on his lap, head buried in the crook of his neck as she sobbed. The position felt familiar at this point. He rocked back and forth softly, caressing her hair and whispering some comforting words.
“It’s okay, Y/N”, “It’s not your fault, doll”, “I’m here”.
He knew how to make her feel better, and he hoped the words he offered when she came to him would make a difference with time. For now, all he could do was hold her close.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, or a few hours. It could’ve been centuries. He didn’t mind.
Her crying stopped eventually, but she stayed in his warm embrace for longer, feeling certain familiarity and adoring it during every passing second. “Do you want to rest on the couch?” Julian questioned, mumbling it right into her ear as if he was afraid someone might hear them. "Yes, t-thank you Jules” she sighed, rubbing her eyes for a second before pulling herself to her feet with Ilya’s help.
They both walked carefully to the worn-out sofa Julian had spent many nights on, at least trying to sleep. She lay down, resting her head on a small pillow as Julian covered her with a blanket before crouching before her. “Are you comfortable?” he smiled, touching her forehead as he searched for any signs of fever. None. He felt tremendous relief, knowing that as long as she had no fever or popped red veins in her delicate hands, they were out of the danger zone. Good. “Hmm,” she hummed as an answer.
“Do you need anything? Maybe a bite to eat could help. I’ll go get you some from the kitchens. I’m sure they have some fruit or sweet bread for you to-” “Julian, I need you,” she admitted, not feeling uneasy about her confession whatsoever. He blushed and Y/N swore he’d find out someone can actually die of cuteness right then and there, her being the first victim. “D-do you want me to...” he trailed off, knowing full well he did not need to end his sentence because she’d just understand.
She giggled as she moved a bit to make space for him. “Yes, come lay down with me. You look like you could use some loosening with all this madness going on,” she spoke, nodding subtly to his desk full of leeches and walls covered in papers, then to the floor, which was crammed with books full of annotations. “Okay,” he nodded, taking off his boots and doing as she said gladly.
It was comical, really; His feet, uncovered from the shelter the blanket brought to the pair, rested on the end and fell off the surface slightly. A light pressure on his chest, having Y/N draw small shapes on the clothed part of his torso with her fingers. “Thank you, Ilya” Gods, how he loved the way his real name sounded falling from her lips. He could hear it forever. The sweetness, the delicacy of her tone when she said it was one of his favorite sounds. “I’ll always be here when you need me, Y/N” he assured, pecking her head softly and resting his cheek on it.
Those were the last words they both said to each other that night. Y/N didn’t take long to crash, and Julian followed soon, after making sure she was asleep, of course.
I think there’s no need to say that was the best sleep doctor Devorak had had in a while.
●
Nights with doctor Devorak were always unforgettable; full of cuddles, warm bodies, and comforting words that incremented the unanswered questions relating her feelings towards both men. But now, there she was again. And she couldn’t help but realize that no matter how many times Julian made her feel better, it was all temporary.
She’d always be back in bed thinking, wondering what she did wrong for Lucio to turn the way he did. Not even sad, just... curious and a bit self-conscious about it.
Her husband was now in a meeting with the courtiers and some doctors. They were waiting for her to show up, surely. She was supposed to show up. After assuming the fact that Lucio would never go back to being the same a few months ago, she slowly started to function as she did before, but without Lucio.
This time, she just didn’t want to attend the stupid reunion.
The simple thought of sitting next to Lucio while holding his hand as they listened to Valdemar talk eagerly about the number of deaths of the day and how they could improve the corpse disposal system if the coliseum was used as a common grave exhausted her poor soul. Why would anyone ever want that?
She had talked about the torture those sessions were with Julia-
Julian.
She immediately got up from the bed, fixed her hair quickly and walked out the door with a little smirk on her lips. “There’s no way I’m letting him go through that on his own,” she thought to herself, practically skipping her way in the hallways that led to the lounge the meeting was being held in.
As she got closer to the big white doors, she could hear boisterous laughs coming from the inside. Julian’s was the sweetest one. She opened the door to find them all sitting at one round table drinking tea, heads turning at the sound of doors opening. “Darling! Finally, we can start” Lucio smiled, patting the sit next to him softly.
“Hi everyone, hope you weren’t having too much fun without me” I said, glancing over them, holding my gaze on Ilya for a moment longer, earning a wink from him, making me blush lightly “It’ll be much more amusing with you here, countess” he smirked, grabbing my hand delicately and placing a kiss on my knuckles “Watch it, Doctor. Those charm’s could steal any man’s girl... or the man, in question” Lucio smiled, winking at Julian, who just rolled his eyes briefly before turning his eyes back to me.
“Can we start already!? The countess took long enough. We don’t have time for this,” Valdemar reproached, the other doctors nodding in agreement. “They only wanted to make this quicker because they love talking about the lives we lost in the past couple of days. Sick bastard.” She thought to herself, sitting down next to her husband and giggling at how Julian was death-glaring Valdemar. “Wait. One more thing... can I have a cup of tea?” Y/N smiled sweetly at them all, making Lucio and Volta laugh airily, directing their cups to their lips one more time.
“It’s not tea we’re drinking, sweetheart,” Julian explained after seeing her puzzled expression. “Is that whiskey?” she asked, smirking at their goofiness. “Of course it’s not whiskey! What do you take me for? A sailor? It’s brandy,” he said in a half-faked insulted tone, making Y/N smile. “Pour me some, doctor Devorak,” she giggled, reaching for a teacup, but before Julian could pour the liquid in it, a golden arm stopped him. “I don’t think that’s a great idea, Jules. You know how she can get when she drinks,” Lucio said mockingly while pulling his arm back, earning some shit-eating grins from some of the physicians looking for approval
“And I think she’s very much capable of making her own decisions, Lucio”
The room went silent. The only noise being the one of liquid filling the cup.
“Thank you, Jules” I said, looking into his eyes, both of us knowing my thankfulness wasn’t just because of the drink he handed me “Always” he nodded, staring back at me with the same intentions. “W-we can start now, Valdemar” I said, trying to drift the attention from the two men staring at each other and successfully doing so... well, Valdemar’s vicious smirk doing most of the trick.
The moment they started ranting about plague, I remembered why I loathed these meetings so much.
Besides Valdemar’s sick attitude, the whole ambience was discouraging and overall made me feel incredibly gloomy. All those people outside the palace’s walls who endured the disease as they all drank brandy in overly fancy tableware. That made her sick. Oh, the privilege they had; to be healthy, to not fear death constantly. Crazy how that became a pleasure of a few.
We all pass on, we all move from being a person to a cadaver. The tragedy thus is not death, but when, where and how? If the life was one of joy and love, it is a time of celebration and thanks. If we lived the life in suffering and struggle, or cut short by a plague, then it is a tragedy greater than any poet ever wrote.
A sudden touch pulled me out of my thoughts. Lucio was trying to hold my hand, but I shoved it off instinctively, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as Julian looked at me proudly. “Where’s your necklace?” he whispered in my ear, trying to avoid provoking Valdemar’s fury. “I don’t know,” she simply said, focusing back on them. He could’ve exploded right there, anyone could’ve guessed that.
Lucio took great pride when Y/N wore his gifts, especially that one gold necklace. It gave him a sense of control and reassurement that she wouldn't leave. Truth is, the piece of jewelry was too one of the many little things that made him take Y/N for granted. And she knew it. The countess had stopped wearing the pendant for around two months, and this was the first time Lucio noticed.
It was always like that; those moments where his “authority” seemed to collapse. When other people made it collapse. That’s when he seemed lost, in more ways than one. And she couldn’t help but relish in those tiny little moments.
Where he crumbled.
The count remained silent, fuming on the inside for the rest of the meeting. And unsurprisingly, it went by just fine. You know, without all the flirting he did with literally everyone in the room but his wife, it was easier for everybody to concentrate. The brandy helped as well.
After about an hour, the session was finally over. She wasted no time in getting out of the room, not caring anymore about anything and just looking for fresh air. Y/N got up from her seat and started walking towards the doors that stood high before all of them, the thought of going out of the metaphorically suffocating room almost implying the most beautiful of dreams. But she was stopped by a large frame.
And when she looked up at doctor Devorak’s face, she forgot all about the empty hallways or clean air, because he was the only drag of freshness she’d ever need.
“That was quite the show, doctor,” she giggled, referring to the petty argument with her husband. "Oh, get over it already, sugar. It was one of many minor inconveniences I’ve had with your dear husband... I’m sure we’ve put on more entertaining shows than that one,” he said, rolling his eyes playfully, relishing in the sweet sound of her laughter once again. There was silence. A silence in which they looked into each other’s eyes with lovelorn eyes and smiles, each one hoping the other wouldn’t notice the devotion in both of their looks.
Julian was 99% sure in that moment that she must’ve been some kind of siren, using her appeals to him to make him fall in love harder and harder every day. No one could ever be so perfect and mesmerizing, no human could ever be so perfect and mesmerizing. And then, without thinking, he said it:
“Do you have any plans for this evening? I’ve been thinking of taking you on a little adventure”
Doctor Devorak had been pondering this moment endlessly, and had even planned on telling Y/N in the perfect moment, in solitude. And it was technically that way since all the other physicians had stayed behind talking to the courtiers or Lucio. They were alone a few meters away from the doors, but not completely alone. Which wasn’t an issue for the countess to respond.
“I’m free, I’m always free-”
“When it comes to me,” Julian smirked, interrupting her briefly
“...when it comes to you” she nodded, blushing slightly
●
Waves crashed on the rocks that covered Ash beach’s shore as two “friends” soaked their feet in the icy water. Numbness from cold had taken over their limbs about two hours ago, but they didn’t care;
Because when she looked at him, flowers grew on his chest.
Because “just friends” don’t look at each other like that.
Y/N knew, Julian knew.
She had been wearing his cape almost since they walked out the castle’s doors, the coolness of the night crashing onto her a few minutes later; Doctor Devorak, being the gentleman he is, offered it to her. She happily complied, beaming inside.
Her blush gave it away. And he was fine with it.
Truth is, Ilya was perfectly familiar with Y/N’s world; the castle, her fondness for the flowers in the gardens, that special place in her heart for the people in Vesuvia, how she appreciated sitting in the grass and just looking into the distance when things stopped making sense. Few people knew these things about the countess.
In fact, two people knew these things about the countess.
Yes, her kindness was widely known, but only Julian and her knew how she adored painting but stopped doing so because of the lack of time she had after becoming royalty.
And she knew him like the back of her hand. She could decipher the little variants on his face depending on the emotion he was feeling, or she easily noticed the building up tension that had been forming on his shoulders since this plague mess started. She noticed.
Y/n, however, knew very little of his world.
Before this night, she did not know he was fantastic at singing duets or dancing after drinking some Salty Bitters to enter the mood. She didn’t know they both shared a passion for art until he asked her to let him draw her because she “looked divine under the moonlight” and pulled out a sketch-book filled with annotations. How he loved to splash in puddles just because he could.
She’d be eternally grateful for the night he let her in.
The night that started with them walking through Vesuvia with lovesick smiles on their faces and ended on them holding hands and embracing each other as they sat on the beach looking into the deep blue that shone from the first rays of sunlight hitting their town.
“Oh, dear... it must be 6 in the morning,” Julian murmured, not wanting to break the inundating ambience the waves had created “I’ve always liked the time before dawn” she yawned, smelling his scent further, the position of her head in the crook of his neck helping a lot “Why?” “Because there’s no one around to remind me what I’m supposed to be, so it’s easier to remember who I am” “I’m sorry if I’m ruining that for you, Y/N” he tensed up at the thought of spoiling something so sacred for the girl he loved.
“Oh Jules... you don’t need to be here physically for you to be on my mind. You can be miles away and you’ll still live in the silences between my thoughts,” she admitted, looking up at him.
Some gazes are the promise of love and protection. His was all that and more.
And then he kissed her.
His lips were like little butterflies when they first met her mouth, his bottom lip fitting between hers almost too effortlessly. Like it had been carved there before, a perfect hiding spot. Then they became fire. All that burning passion he had been keeping inside finally collapsing, both of their feelings melting in one hungry, desperate kiss.
He felt raw and familiar. She felt solid and safe. She wanted to cling onto his shirt, bury her face into the warm curve of his neck and never let go.
They dammed their oxygen-depending lungs when they had to pull away to take a breath while looking into each other’s eyes with dorky little smiles plastered on their swollen lips. Y/N giggled. Julian giggled back at the thought that crossed his mind after hearing that sweet vibration;
He fell in love with those giggles. How could he not? When his heart was in a vortex, they were the counter-current he cried out for.
“Julian, are you sure about this? About us?”
He couldn’t help but laugh a bit more. Wasn’t it obvious?
“Y/N, after all this time, I’m still convinced the rest of my life looks like you. I think we’d be an excellent us, my darling”
“We’d be a perfect us, Julian,” she nodded, smiling slowly, with little tears welling up in her eyes. This time, and after a while, joyful tears. ♡
Listen. Julian needs his good morning and goodnight kisses. Every day. No questions, no excuses, no what if’s or buts.
He’s getting his kisses.
So, when you two are getting ready for bed one night and you start telling him that you and Asra are heading out of town for a week, he just about loses his ever-loving mind. “What? No! You can’t leave. What about the shop? Who’s going to run it while you two are gone? What if you get hurt, or worse, and I never see you again? What if—”
You cut his rambling off with a sweet kiss to his lips, his body immediately relaxing against yours. “Well, if you would’ve let me finish I would’ve told you that he wants to know if you’re coming with us,” you reply, your mouth quirking up into a smirk and your eyes twinkling with mirth. His face instantly lights up with color, his eyes shifting away from you from embarrassment.
“Oh,” is his meek, embarrassed reply.
“Yeah, oh,” you mock, starting to giggle as you bring your body closer to his in your bed. “I’ll tell him tomorrow that you’re coming with us.”
“Okay. Goodnight,” he whispers, bringing his head up to hover over yours, giving you his infamous goodnight kiss. “I love you,” he mumbles against your lips.
WARNINGS. sexual tension, choking, a little bit of knife play and mentions of one (1) drop of blood
SYNOPSIS. the count's sister is sent to vesuvia to avenge his death. as the alleged murderer of her brother, julian soon finds himself trapped between her and a wall with a knife to his throat... not that he would mind.
AUTHOR'S NOTE. this fic has been sitting in my drafts for months and I finally sat my ass down to finish it. thank you so much @waiting-for-motivation for keeping me company while editing, I love you🖤
LENGTH. 1.7613 words
MASTERLIST
Rumors spread like raging wildfire through Vesuvia. The city talks. Hushed whispers behind every corner, curious eyes follow her as she makes her way through the small alleyways snaking between cozy shops and lively pubs, inviting her to slow her pace and enjoy the beautiful city for a moment longer.
Though her cold gaze never seems to waver, never leaves her determined path leading her past chatty vendors who offer her the most expensive silks, jewelry with alluring diamonds sparkling in the welcoming sunlight, and exotic flowers. Delicate petals open to greet her with a sweet scent that clings to every step she takes, curls around her leather boots, and tempts her to cast a glance at the beauty unraveling in every street.
“A warrior from the south.” It smells like beer and gin, the air thick and warm, mixed with a tinge of smoke and something Julian can’t quite name. The men are scrambled together at one of the wooden tables a few feet away from his seat, whispering secrets and speculations into their glasses with hushed voices that reverberate with a striking glint of hope. “She’s here for the Count.”
Julian listens carelessly as he downs another drink, perched in the darkest corner of the pub with his head held low. His cheeks burn with the buzz of intoxication running through his veins, trembling fingers fiddling with the black leather gloves he’s merely thrown on the table upon his arrival at the Rowdy Raven a few hours ago, looking for something to occupy his troubled mind.
Despite having heard those stories before, these tales strung with mystery around the soldier from the south, the men’s muttered words spark his curiosity, but Julian knows better than to challenge fate.
He already senses the reason for her unannounced arrival. She’s here for him.
A part of him tells him to escape, to try and flee, save his own miserable life because that’s all he’s ever been good for — running from the problems he caused. His heart flutters in his throat like a caged hummingbird, venom fear settles behind his frail ribs and with every fleeting second, he signs his own death sentence.
He deserves it, doesn’t he? To be hunted, to be slaughtered like a filthy animal, a gruesome punishment for all the sins he has committed, for the cruel murder of the Count, for the blood on his marked hands. Sooner or later, destiny will lead him right into her awaiting arms and Julian isn’t sure, if escaping would spare him his life. Probably not.
Sooner or later, she will find him.
With a heavy sigh, he rises from his spot to drop a few coins as payment on the table before leaving without uttering another word. The night is cold, dangerously silent when he steps outside to roam the shadowed streets of Vesuvia. His thoughts grow with each shaky breath of air he takes, roaring, screeching, scratching against the inside of his skull with a thrumming force as he slips into an abandoned alley with a careful glance thrown over his slumped shoulder. It’s the fear of being found by her that drives him into the darkness, hiding from treacherous eyes and the glinting weapon, ready to cut his flesh.
“Julian Devorak.” A figure glides out of the shadows behind him, tall and brooding, pacing behind him with a predatory aura that washes over him with deafening danger. Although he neither recognizes her commanding voice nor the face emerging from the darkness, the knowing heaviness that settles in the pit of his churning stomach tells him; it’s her. She found him, just like he predicted.
“Ah, the mysterious warrior from the south. Didn’t think I’d meet you this soon,” he muses as he turns around to face her. A sharp gasp escapes the depth of his chest at the stinging pain surging through his spine when his back meets the wall within a second, a strong hand clasped around his throat to hold him in place. A sly grin tugs at the corners of his mouth, a grin that certainly shouldn’t be there and won’t save his pathetic soul from her vicious wrath. “What is someone like you doing here? Vesuvia doesn’t seem like your place.”
The glare she gives him is cold, eats into the essence of his being like a starving parasite until the cocky grin leaves his face. Silence settles heavily and for a moment, he believes she might not even understand the language rolling off the tip of his tongue, because she still hasn’t answered his teasing question, still stares at him with a grim scowl. But then, she replies. With a seething fire in her voice, words laced with a trace of an accent.
His eyes flicker to her lips, soft and plump, painted with a broad strip of coal that runs along her bottom lip to the center of her chin and guides him to her neck and the valley of her breasts. How tempting.
“I’m here for my beloved brother. I heard you were the one who murdered him.” Her words snap him out of his trance. Certainly, he misheard, right? It couldn't be the truth, she looks nothing like Lucio, not even close, except... No, that's impossible.
“You’re his sister?”
“Adopted. My name is Y/N Morgasdottir,” she replies coldly, fingers digging into the sides of his neck to constrict his airflow even further. Her face is mere inches away from his, hot breath prickling on his flushing cheeks and lips ghosting over the shell of his ear. “Tell me, doctor... how did it feel?”
Fuck. Julian believes he might faint at any moment now, knees buckling beneath the weight of his body at the close proximity, because she’s the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen on this forsaken earth, so ethereal and absolutely terrifying. It makes his blood rush between his trembling thighs, wanting and aching for something he shouldn’t crave. A gasp tumbles from his mouth when she leans back to pull a dagger out of the leather strap around her thigh, testing and observing his reaction to the sharp blade that glints deadly in the pale moonlight with a playful turn of the weapon.
“Did you enjoy it? Did you watch the flames grow higher, smelled his burned flesh while you listened to his damned pleas to live another day?” The weapon traces over his exposed collarbone, breaking his delicate skin as she glides the weapon over his chest, pushing his white shirt to the side to expose more of his submitting body.
It’s enough for him to hold his breath, enough for his brain to short-circuit in sheer fear and a certain kind of lustful excitement only a deranged sinner like him could feel. The hand around his throat tightens, just as the blade stops above his thundering heart. "Spit it out, doctor."
Oh, how he’d love to tease Y/N just a little more and deny her the answer, to continue this game of cat and mouse. The thrill of excitement surges through his stomach, but Julian knows that she’d kill him on the spot, right here in this alley, if he waits for a second too long with his meek reply.
“I didn’t kill him,” he gasps for air, trembling hands wrapping tightly around her wrist at the feeling of her dagger pushing into his chest. Pure horror crawls inside his mouth and burns in his throat like something holy, something sacred he shouldn’t be touching with his filthy hands. This is what you deserve, the voice inside his head whispers as blood begins to seep into his clothes, warm and wet against his skin. This is your destiny. “I didn’t kill him, please!”
Didn't he? The memories are blurry, distant and hard to reach like a dream. Uncertainty creeps into the back of his head — for the first time in years he's questioning, if the accusations against him were wrong.
And as fast as Y/N pinned him to the wall, she lets him drop to the ground with a thud. Careless to any injury he might suffer as she steps away from his slumped figure to examine her work with a hunter’s pride, a devilish smirk dancing on her lips. “I know. I just wanted to hear it from you.”
Slowly, Julian gets to his feet, shaky fingers smoothing over the collar of his white shirt. His cheeks are flushed and his face glows with arousal and utter embarrassment while he watches how Y/N turns the dagger in her slender fingers. A drop of blood sticks to the tip of her blade and glistens treacherously in the light of the moon.
His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip at the memory of that delicious sting he felt when it carved through his tender skin. “So, uh...what are you going to do next? Now that you know I didn’t murder your brother?” Julian quips nervously and clears his throat. His movements are awkward as he spins around to face her with a timid smile.
“I’m going to do what I came here for.”
Confused, he takes a step closer and tilts his head, glancing down at her with furrowed brows. She’s still intimidating, he notices and swallows hard at the tightness of his pants, retreating a few inches because suddenly, the smallest sensation of her body's warmth manages to rile him up even further. He really is a lost cause. “And what exactly is that?”
“Hunting my brother.” Y/N reaches out to brush an auburn curl out of his face, inspecting his eyepatch with a strange fascination. A grin brightens her features, though it appears to be less threatening, almost friendly if it weren’t for the sharp canines catching her bottom lip and the flash of thirst for blood. “And you will help me, my dearest doctor.”
“W-What? No! What if I have other plans, I can’t just hunt your...” He stumbles a few steps back, stutters and splutters as the gears in his mind begin to turn. “Wait a minute, Lucio is dead. Still, that doesn’t convince me to help you!”
“Oh, come on. You receive a reward if you do.”
“A reward? I don’t need a reward,” Julian replies with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest in protest. And still, the ache between his legs grows stronger, throbbing with need for what might await him if he follows her orders just like she pleases.
"But you want it, don't you? I can smell your arousal from here, doctor. Now follow me."
Y/n has been brought to Nevivon by her lover, her new family. She and the Devoraks, led by their intrepid pirate leader Mazelinka, have finally gone for a vacation and a visit back home. But dark things from the past still dwell on Y/n’s mind, and while she tries to devote attention to her doting plague doctor, a certain magician is worrying her.
word count: ~6,430
A/N: I wanted to do a sort of combo-route idea because the big thing about every route besides Asra’s is that you don’t know how the MC is brought back. So, duh, spoiler warning for Asra and Julian’s routes. This takes place after Julian’s upright ending.
It was near second nature now, reaching out for Asra’s magic, but it took a bit longer to feel around for this time given the distance. The clear, large wash basin full of water I’d just summoned definitely helped, and made it easier to find him. I was glad to have the little bit of luxury Julian had spared us in picking the inn now; he had even pointed out said wash basin for this very purpose.
There were other voices around Asra when I saw his face finally coalesce in the water.
“--off just a hair on your measurements, darling.”
“She’s right, Dad,” Asra replied. “Not enough to cause serious damage, but you’ll be more efficient if you shrink the ropes down a bit.”
“Am I interrupting something important?” I asked, unable to help my grin. My friend’s eyebrows jumped up into his fluffy white curls, eyes searching the room frantically until he noticed where I’d appeared.
“Oh, there you are! Always showing up in my tea,” he scolded playfully. I chuckled, but I could tell he was feeling off. I’d expected as much.
I heard his parents in the background, asking if it was me calling. When he blushed and sheepishly nodded, I saw their beaming faces appear in front of his to say hello before he had the opportunity to shoo them away. Finally, he seemed to carry me out of the area and let out a sigh of relief.
“Sorry about all that.”
I shook my head, finally stifling the giggles Aisha and Salim had brought on. “I should be apologizing. I can call later this evening if you think you’ll have a better time then?”
He swallowed, looking a little pained and sighing subtly. “No, no it’s alright. I actually hadn’t anticipated to hear from you while you were in Nevivon, much less only a week into your trip. Aren’t you busy exploring and causing trouble?”
“I told Julian to go out with Portia today. Said I had a headache and wanted to have a day in.”
“And… you lied.” It wasn’t a question, Asra could tell what I was saying, but he raised his eyebrow to ask why.
I shrugged. “Because I could tell he wanted to spend some time with her here, and I didn’t want him to feel guilty for it like he does. And, because I wanted to call you.”
He nodded. I could tell in the way he averted his eyes that Asra knew why I had; they were stewing guilt beneath the starry purple. I didn’t want that to be the only reason he thought I called though, so I changed the subject for the time being.
“How have you been? Your parents settling in okay still?”
“Yes,” Asra nodded, a little proud small crossing his lips. “Yes, Nadia seems to really like having them around. They’ve been having me up at the palace quite a lot lately though, I haven’t had much time to run the shop.”
“Not that I imagine you mind, getting to spend time with them and Nadia and all.”
He allowed me some eye contact then, and shared the smile I was giving. “No, of course not. I wish I had some more time to go visit Muriel lately, but I know I’ll get caught up with him soon.”
I took a deep breath, thinking it perhaps as good a thread as any to grasp onto. I had to start the hard conversation somehow. “He’s… He’s alright, last I checked. I went to see him the day before we left.”
Asra looked surprised, as I expected, then gave me an expression like he knew I needed to continue. I tugged my cloak around myself a little more, despite being in a perfectly warm inn.
“I had been having some… dreams, Asra. You’d been busy with your parents before we left for Nevivon, but I had at least hoped you’d come see us off. When you didn’t even come home those few days, I was a little worried. I went to Muriel to check on him and to ask about some of my dreams, because I figured he would be able to give me some answers.”
“Are you,” Asra looked like he was suddenly becoming allergic to air as he spoke. “Are you saying, what- what I think- ?”
He couldn’t even finish the sentence, he was so worried. But I knew he would be, and I swallowed a little before I nodded, clutching the emerald necklace of his I’d had for so long now.
“Some of my memories are coming back. After everything with the Arcana, Julian has his back. It’s made it easier on me, so it’s not painful anymore. He’s been helping me distinguish what’s real memory and what’s my magician brain doing weird things, but Muriel… he told me a lot. We, um. We really need to talk when I get home, Asra.”
My voice had come out in a murmur by the end, still afraid he would run away from me again. But much to my relief, Asra let out a guilty, shaky sigh and ran a hand through the white fluff on his head, and then nodded.
“Yes, I- I suppose we do.”
I opened my mouth to speak again, but this time Asra beat me to it, clenching his eyes shut a moment before meeting mine. “Y/n, I’m sorry I wasn’t there. It- It’s been stressful lately, still, after everything that’s happened. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I can forgive you for not showing up at the docks if you promise that when I get back, your ass is going to be at home waiting with tea.”
There was a chuckle, though it sounded bittersweet. “Yes, I- I think I can manage that just fine. I promise, I’ll be there this time, Y/n. There’s a lot we should talk about in person.”
“I agree,” I said, hopeful now. “There are… more things I want to discuss with you than just my memories from back then.”
Without meaning to, I trailed off a little, smiling with a blush on my cheeks at my skirt thinking about how I’d seen Julian acting lately. How affectionate and doting the big goof had been to me, the change in his demeanor looking so alive and hopeful for our future. Our future. Julian was talking more and more about it now, our future and what wonderful things it could entail. I was only beginning to realize what was on the pretty ginger’s mind lately, but the excited whispers with Pasha that I’d found so cute this morning were one of many tells of his plans.
“You seem happy,” Asra noted, breaking me from my trance. I was blushing harder now, worried about his reaction. He didn’t know everything I knew yet, I hadn’t talked to him about-- no, no it was fine. Asra was smiling, and it was real.
“Yes, I- Nevivon is a lot of fun. It would be fun to bring you out here sometime, I think you’d like it. Though I know you’re quite partial to Vesuvia and being left alone. The hot springs are definitely nice though, Faust would enjoy them.”
“Swim!”
Asra and I giggled at the little excited shout the snake made, her head immediately popping out of Asra’s scarf to slither closer to his teacup. I got a hilarious view of her little snout and tongue up close in the water basin.
“Home?”
“She’ll be back in a few more weeks, Faust. She’s with Ilya, remember?” Asra told her, looking ridiculously adorable having a conversation with a snake who was giving him a much-too-human look. Gods, I loved them both. I missed them both, my little magic family.
“Squeeze!”
I laughed again, though Asra took a second to realize her intentions. I nodded at her through the water. “You can squeeze Julian when we come back. And me too.”
My best friend shook his head with a chuckle, amazed at my interpretation and Faust’s pleased bleps. He finally stared back at me looking a little less guilty and reserved than when I’d first called for him.
“Enjoy your trip, Y/n. I’m going to get back to work. Don’t let Ilya get you into too much trouble.”
I scoffed, waving my hand. “Mazelinka has had her eye on us the whole time. I’ll be just fine. But, don’t be a stranger while I’m gone, okay? Check in a little. And give my love to your parents and Faust.”
There was a hum, knowing purple eyes cocked at me serenely. “I will, but I don’t quite give hugs like you, so they’ll want to see you when you come back. Now go have fun, don’t coop yourself up just to talk to me.”
With that, his image faded away in the ripples of the wash basin. I let out a huffed breath, glad that that talk had gone over more smoothly than I thought. I let myself have hope in Asra this time, let myself count on the fact that he would keep his word and not run off; this time I knew if he let me down, he would deserve the wrath that real disappointment would induce, but I also had a trust that he would keep his promise.
My thoughts were interrupted when Mazelinka knocked and threw the door open, hobbling in to look at me quizzically. “You aren’t in bed at all! The kids ran into me in the market and Ilya said you were lying about with a headache. What’s wrong?”
She had come up to stand before my chair, inspecting me for injury or illness before I’d even begun speaking. “I just told him I wasn’t feeling up to going out so he could have time with Pasha, without worrying about leaving me here. I saw how much he wanted to spend time running around with her today and you know how he is.”
The old woman let out a noise of understanding and nodded, hands on her hips. “Well I hope you haven’t been too bored here on your own. If I’d known, I’d have taken you along with me instead.”
I shook my head. “No, I was alright, thank you. I took the spare time to check in on Asra and the others back home.”
“Oh, good. Poor magician is probably a bit lost without you there, eh?” she chided, bustling around the room on instinct. Mazelinka was hoisting up an armload of Julian’s clothes that he’d left strewn about the place, naturally grumbling about it and showing she’d been doing this for years.
I opened my mouth to reply, but my stomach got to it first and let out a loud rumble. Mazelinka bellowed with laughter.
“It seems all that magic worked you up an appetite,” she giggled. “Let me take this down to the washroom, and then you come with me and we’ll go eat in town. Besides, better get your energy back up; I think Ilya was talking about going dancing again tonight if you were up for it.”
At that, my gut dropped out of me and I froze. Without meaning to, I felt myself pale. A flush was settling in my ears and up my neck, making the old woman eye me curiously. “Dancing? Like, how fancy, dancing? Do I need to- to dress up or- or something, dancing?”
A mischievous, knowing grin peeled across her aging face. “Oh, I see. You’re catching on to that boy’s shenanigans faster than I thought, HAH! No need to fret dear, just out to have some fun tonight. Drink, and dance, and music.”
I sighed, embarrassed at how worked up I’d gotten as she left. I changed into some better clothes to go out in, leaving the emerald hanging at my chest. Somehow, it was still soothing to my anxiety to feel its weight there. My heartbeat lay just beneath it, and I pulled my fingers away from the warm jewel as a hard stop to where my thoughts would trail if I considered it all too long. Those were things I couldn’t think about until I’d talked through them with Asra. Now, it was just time to enjoy myself, and be here for Julian and Portia.
Mazelinka met me back downstairs, a pleased grin on her face as she led me out the door. We walked our way past all the houses around the inn they kept for guests, waving to some of the grandmas as we passed them.
Once we got into the market and began our search for a good snack, she gave me an eye like she had words for me, and jabbed my ribs with her elbow.
“You’ve been taking good care of Ilya,” she noted, tossing me a few fruits from a nearby stall and passing the owner his coin. “The other grandmas have taken notice of it. It’s all they talk about now, how much he’s grown up and smitten with you.”
I could feel how red my face was getting, but I tried to just smile and thank her. “He’s doing better, yeah. I don’t have to chain him to the bed and feed him your drugged soup to get the man to take a full night’s sleep.”
“It wasn’t drugged! I just… gave him some herbs in it, since he always showed up at my house looking bedraggled and bleary-eyed.”
Her reply had me laughing as we kept moving through the stalls towards the square, picking up a chunk of hot bread and some cheese to split as well. When we found a place to sit at some tables lined along the square’s edge, there was a band already playing nearby, and all the children were dancing and playing in front of them. Mazelinka turned her gaze to me, serious again while we ate.
“All I’m trying to say is, thank you,” she said with a teasing tone, waving her piece of fruit at me pointedly. “And don’t get yourself worried about what that rascal is doing, he’ll manage it in his own time.”
A sigh escaped my lips and I shook my head, grinning up at all the kids. Instead of responding to her advice, I decided to ask about the evening, and the scene before me.
I waved a hand at the cluster of laughing Nevivonian kids. “So is this the ‘dancing’ Julian wanted us to come out to? I have to say, quite entertaining.”
“Ah yes,” Mazelinka laughed, and eyed the slowly setting sun. “The grandmas and parents will be putting the young children to bed soon. They always go in just before dark, but the musicians play a little while beforehand so the kids can enjoy some fun beforehand. Pasha and Ilya will find us here sooner or later when the rest of town comes out to party.”
Sure enough, around the time we finished our dinner, Grandma Halinka came out to the square waving her little arms at the kids. The little band stopped playing and waved at the kids, setting instruments down to go fetch drinks and food. Other grandmas, and some parents, hurried out of all the homes nearby calling for the children and sweeping them away in flocks back inside. The sun was almost fully set, and more adults and teens scurried excitedly around the square in a brief few minutes of quiet to light lanterns.
A familiar pair of voices rounded the corner just before the telltale unruly pair of auburn heads did, and when their eyes caught sight of us they were quickly running over.
Julian had a massive grin plastered on his face, scooping me up in long arms and spinning me into an embrace.
“I assume you’ve had a good day then?” I giggled when he set me down.
He blushed a little, but nodded, glancing happily at his sister a second before cupping my cheek in one hand. “I did. How are you feeling, darling?”
“He’s been fretting all day,” Portia teased, hand on her hip.
Julian sputtered. “I have not!”
“Have too.”
“Not near as much as you’ve been fretting about your date with Nadia. I should send her a letter filled with all the worries I’ve heard. ‘Oh where should I take her? What will she want? What can I do that’ll stand out to the Countess?’”
Mazelinka and I were laughing loudly now, possibly the only thing that could’ve broken the red-faced siblings from their bickering. Julian caught my eye and pressed a kiss to my temple.
“Are you up for a night with the town? That band is the best I know.”
“Oh, absolutely,” I replied, poking his chest. “You’re gonna have a hard time keeping up with me, I’ve had all day to rest.”
By the look in his eyes, I could tell Julian had sort of known I wasn’t really sick, but instead of mentioning it, he made a dramatic face of mock offense as he pulled me by the hand into the growing crowd.
“I don’t think you understand, my dear. It’s you who’ll have to keep up with me. But don’t worry, I’ll hold on tight.”
His cheeky, suave smirk made me laugh. Julian had sidled us up closer to the band, and his face lit up as one of the lutes started strumming. In a flash, I was swept up into the crowd’s dance, clearly something everyone knew to do together. It wasn’t too hard to pick up on, thankfully, weaving in and out of lines among other giddy Nevivonians. Portia and I laughed at each other as we met in a fast circle, and I heard her hoot at me loudly when her brother’s nimble fingers gripped hold of mine to swing me around him. It was intoxicating, the laughter and the motion of it all.
Julian was a natural. Some songs had us paired up, deftly swinging me around him and back into his chest at rapid paces. Everyone seems to have endless stamina here. All the people around me have contagious grins on their faces, my feet barely keeping time with theirs for many of the faster tunes. The lutes and vielles and drums and flutes cried out excited tunes with the voices of their masters, every one of them seemingly common knowledge among the town. Every time Julian caught me back in his arms, he was enthusiastically trying to sing along to various parts. He kept his hands on me each time we were partnered instead of dancing as a crowd, skillfully able to spin and swing and dip me without losing his rhythm or grip.
The music filled the air, half the town singing along with what often sounded like sea shanties and working songs. For some of them Julian got passed a vielle, and played along while I danced with Portia through the crowd. Occasionally, ballads would interlude between, and Julian would press me against his heaving chest as the excitable grandmas skittered off the cobblestones for drinks during the slow moment. They’d kept pace even with the teenagers, and it was almost as entertaining to watch as Julian’s theatrical song and dance performance.
It was just after a group dance that I ended up panting, meandering towards the front where I could see Julian eagerly talking with one of the vielle players. He caught sight of me and held out his hand, gently taking hold and pushing my hair out of my sweaty brow with a laugh.
“This is one of my favorites, you’d better be ready,” he snickered close to my face, stealing a kiss quickly before another musician got his attention.
“You ready, Ilya? You’re takin’ the lead on this one!” the other man joked. Clearly, these people were just as used to Julian’s love of drama and performance.
Julian smirked proudly, hand locked around my waist. “When am I ever not ready for this? Just try and keep up, Baruch!”
And then the lutes strummed to life, and Julian started singing. It was gentle at first, both the swaying he guided me in and the sound of his slightly off-tune voice. The others were singing too, and Julian was too enraptured in the song to care what he sounded like. I could tell by the excitement in his eyes and in his muscles it wasn’t going to stay sweet and slow, and the moment he held out a long note and dipped me low to the ground, I returned the playful challenge in his grey eyes.
Suddenly I was flung upward, tossed in the air to be caught by the hips just as Julian tossed his head back and belted out the lyrics of a clearly traditional Nevivonian tune. It talked of the city’s history, held up by strong elders and salt miners, partying with pirates and fighting off bandits, and a love for the people. Julian was putting his best into this performance, all suave grins under the red curls sticking to his face. He swept me up close to him, our feet quick and light and perfectly in sink. The glint in his eye was my only warning before I heard his knee-high boots tud onto a chair, hoisting me up after him and then spinning me by the hips onto the nearest table.
Elders below us were laughing heartily, some singing along and giving Julian teasing looks; but he paid them no mind. His gaze was mine, and though the song flowed across the cobblestone square with his fellow performers, the words seemed only to be aimed at me, telling me his story.
There was a short slow bridge again, and I teased Julian with stolen kisses across his face, surprised he was still singing and twirling me across the tables for how hard he blushed. The lanterns cast shadows across his chiseled, glistening face, and he dipped me low over the edge of the table. My toes and his arm were the only things keeping me from tumbling off the sturdy wood. The moment Julian paused to take a breath again after a long, gentle note, he pressed his lips fervently against mine. Somewhere in the crowd, I heard Portia’s whooping over the others that cheered his drama. And then, just as quickly as it started before, the music picked up speed and Julian whirled me around to dance across the tables the rest of the night. I was quite certain my muscles would hate me the next morning, but his loving gazes and pure giddy grins kept my stamina unnaturally strong.
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The streets were exceptionally dark tonight, but no less inviting. After so long again at sea and in Nevivon away from home, Vesuvia enveloped me like a warm hug the moment my toes touched her docks. I gave my leftover food from the ship ride home to some of the orphans who lived there, remembering how two of my best friends once had their fate.
Julian had offered for me to stay the night with him at his little house in the South End, but I declined. I had told him about my talk with Asra, and he understood I needed to go. Plus, despite loving that I got to stay with him our whole trip, I really wanted to be back home at my shop. So, without much protest, Julian walked with Portia and I most of the way back to my shop, then ended up being tired enough he got talked into staying at her much-closer cottage. I told them I’d come see them at the palace in the morning, since we all needed to go visit Nadia as well.
I couldn’t even suck in a deep breath, I was so nervous. Apprehension filled my muscles as I wondered what I would find beyond the familiar wooden door. I’d faced the Devil mere months ago, and yet… facing the potential of Asra running away from me again felt so much more dreadful. It took spooking myself, shoving my hand out against the wood so suddenly even I was surprised, to get me out of my frozen state.
My heart sank. The shop was dark, and the glass counter and nearby table still a little dusty from no one being home in a while. Just as I reached out with watering eyes to the stairwell curtain, I was enveloped in warm candlelight and the smell of my favorite tea.
Asra’s white head popped around the corner when I reached the top, and I dropped my back to race into his embrace. I felt Faust slither around my shoulders and happily “Squeeze friend!” while Asra sighed in content.
“I’m so happy to be home,” I sighed. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
My oldest friend pulled away and gave me a smile that I could tell held the weight of a lot of worry and guilt. “I’m glad you’re back. Come on, you must be exhausted.”
Though he was right, as I felt him tug my hand towards our little kitchen alcove, my mind was more alert and awake than my weary body had been all day. Our teapot was sitting on its colorful woven trivet, ready and waiting as I had asked.
“No trouble with the teapot this time?” I asked teasingly. Asra blushed a little, some of the tension leaving his face.
“Minimal, this time.”
Asra sat down at our tiny table with the cushions all around, tucking his legs beneath him and pouring two cups from the steaming pot. With a look, he urged me to sink into the nook with him, bright pillows and cushions cradling me like a baby. He took a few minutes to ask about the journey, calm conversation and hot tea easing my aching muscles and anxious mind.
“--And just as I show up with Portia ready to load up, we find Julian shrieking in the middle of a bob of salt seals, trying to wrestle his way past the mothers because the pups are tossing his boot back and forth.”
“Leave it to Ilya to get into trouble even with seals,” Asra laughed, then trailed off staring into his cup. The tone started to change in the air around us, I could feel it. His aura was nervous, and felt pained as I watched him work his way back up to words. I gave him a reassuring look, trying to portray that I would let him approach this how he felt was best.
“Y/n, what I did… back then. I’ve told you already that I was in the darkest state of my life. When you died, I didn’t know what to do with myself, and I felt like it was all my fault for not being here when you got sick.” Asra paused to take a desperate gulp of his tea, not meeting my eyes through his spiel. Faust was coiled around his arm in comfort. “I was… heartbroken. We were--”
“I know we were in love, Asra,” I told him softly, finishing the sentence that was catching in his throat. Tentatively, I reached across the table to his hand, and he thankfully breathed out a little of the tension when my fingers looped into his. Faust snuck further forward, coiling round our clasped hands. He gave her a loving gaze in thanks, and I continued.
“I’ve had dreams of past memories with you. Masquerades, trips to the market, knitting Faust sweaters. Us, happy, and together. I saw how we felt about each other,” I explained, slowly, so I could try and give both of us time to process the raw emotion involved. “Those, I knew were true by how they felt. Julian hadn’t known me then but Muriel did, and he was… more than happy to be honest with me, surprisingly.”
Asra nodded at the tablecloth, thumb running anxiously over the handle of his teacup. I poured us both another drink while I tried to think of how to phrase my next thoughts.
“Part of why I needed to talk to you is that,” I paused to take a sip. “You mean a lot to me, Asra. And I need to know you’re okay, now, with how things have turned out. I have a few hazy memories of how you felt back then, but I can only ask how you feel now. I don’t- I can’t lose you, either of you.”
“Oh, Y/n,” Asra consoled me, his fingers under Faust’s warm belly squeezing mine. His purple eyes were suddenly locked on mine, and a gentle smile surfaced on his golden face. “You’ll never lose me. Really, I--I’m okay. It… It did hurt, at first, watching you fall for someone else. Sometimes the change is shocking enough that I worry I’m going to lose you. That… That’s why I wasn’t there, at the docks that day. I couldn’t face the fact that it felt like you were leaving me again.”
“I was only leaving you for a month!” I tried to tease, wiping my misty eyes. “You’ve been gone for that long just hanging out in Nopal or your magician’s gate without me.”
“I know, I know, I'm sorry,” he replied. There was a little sniffle, but he seemed okay. “Look, the point is, you’re my best friend, Y/n. I wanted you to do what made you happy, and clearly being with Ilya is what did that. You’re never going to stop being my best friend, and I’m sorry I was an ass before but I’ve had time to heal and to see that this is what’s best for you. For both of us.”
His words almost made me cry again, a little twinge of fear having me squeeze his hand. “Thank you. There’s just one more thing that scares me.”
My friend nodded for me to continue, comfort in his purple gaze. “Asra, between Julian and Muriel I know most of what happened with the ritual back then, but I never knew… how I was brought back. What kind of deal you made. And some of my dreams… Asra, I need you to tell me if the price for your deal was serious, because these dreams I’ve been having about--about our hearts--it feels like this could have really painful consequences for all of us.”
Asra’s eyes were wide, Faust peering between his frozen face and my shaking shoulders. He seemed more shocked than anything, but then let out a shameful grunt and blushed, dropping his head.
“I, um. It does- does have to do with our hearts, yes. I don’t think you’ll love the truth. But I don’t think it’s anything you should worry about for the future, either.”
His voice was nearly a whisper, but clear, and firm as if he’d been working up to saying this for a long time.
“I keep seeing my heart in sync with yours. And I’ve noticed it before, in the real world, they’re always in sync. We always are, always knowing a little too well what the other is feeling, and I brushed it off as just our closeness for so long. Whatever this is, I can’t be ignorant of it and let it hurt Julian, or you. Please just, tell me, Asra,” I pleaded.
Asra’s eyes were watering when they looked back at mine, his voice broken and defeated. He shrugged a little, a sad smile wavering beneath the tears threatening to spill as he tapped a finger on his chest. “I gave up half my heart.”
For a moment, all I felt was confusion. But then, as the realization hit me, as the hunch I’d had before turned out to be sort of right, I gaped at him.
“Asra,” I breathed. “How could you do something so dangerous?”
Faust slithered away from our hands back to her master’s shoulders, and he brought my hand to his lips in what seemed like an attempt to comfort himself. “Because I loved you. Because you were and are my best friend, and I wanted you to have a chance to live happily again.”
I let him breathe the tears away, and finally both of us were calm again. Emotions were roiling in my chest, some of them I assumed to be Asra’s now. Pain, guilt, relief, gratitude, love. There was such a deep, strong connection that I had with Asra, that we had always had. I loved him, and he loved me, and we would always take care of each other.
“Now,” he finally sniffed, laying his free hand on top of our clasped fingers. “You have that chance. And you’re taking it. And I couldn’t be happier to just be here with you and see you living, Y/n.”
“Oh, screw this crying,” I whined, launching myself over the cushions around the table to embrace him. We laughed, the dirty laundry now out in the sun for us to claim, and we were happy.
When I sat back up, I could see he was being genuine. Asra really was happy that I was with Julian. It reminded me of the good news I had wanted to share with him, the little secret I was aware of that I hadn’t yet even said out loud. The thought made me blush at my hands in my lap, a dopey smile I couldn’t contain conjuring the image of a rowdy redheaded ruffian and his dramatic grin.
“I have, um, good news,” I murmured. “Now that I know you’re okay. Though it is a little… much, for after all this, so if you wanna wait--”
“Honey,” Asra interrupted, hands grasping both of mine. “You’re clearly super happy about something important and I’m honored you want to share it with me. I don’t care we’ve been crying, just spill it.”
I couldn’t help it, I grinned at him; it was the kind of goofy, loving teenager grin that’s so giddy your tongue practically peeks between your teeth. My voice came out tiny, like this secret was so special that I was subconsciously worried of anyone outside our kitchen hearing it. I suppose, perhaps, it was that important to me.
“He’s gonna propose soon.”
Much to my surprise, Asra’s reaction was full of drama. His purple eyes bulged, actually tearing up again for a moment, then suddenly clamped shut in a giddy grin and shriek as he threw his arms around me.
“Oh my gosh, that’s amazing! Wait, how do you know? Oh who am I kidding, it’s Ilya and you’re sharp as a hawk. Oh this is so great. What’s been happening? Tell me everything!”
Laughter rang like celebratory church bells out from my chest while Asra berated me with questions, holding me by the arms. His eyes were still watering with how much joy he was containing within this little magician body, but any tears he may have shed were held back by sheer excitement and curiosity.
So I told him everything. I told him about how doting and loving Julian had been lately, and how often he brought up our future and how happy he was about it. I told him how Julian snuck off with Portia more than a handful of times and I’d seen them in the markets, deep in conversation coming away from the jeweler’s stands. I told him how I’d walked in on both siblings talking to Mazelinka and Grandma Halinka at the latter’s kitchen table one morning, everybody falling silent when I entered, and Julian’s beet red face looking terrified while the women beamed at me. I told him how I’d woken up one night on the ship ride home to see Julian sitting awake by the woodstove, fondly twiddling with a little box.
And the rest of the evening went on, just as happily as we had been so long ago before the Arcana and the adventuring shook up our lives. Maybe even a little happier than before. It felt like old times, gossiping with Asra over tea in the middle of the night, but now it felt so much better. We had friends, new and old, and we had each other with no secrets, and we had love.
“When I do get married,” I said softly, rolling over to face him on the big bed we usually shared when I stayed here. I hadn’t thought about this until now, but it felt so natural, like it was the place he was meant to be. “Asra, would you be my Person of Honor?”
Faust answered for him, because now Asra really was too speechless and watery-eyed to talk. “Yes!”
I giggled, pulling them both into a bear hug, scratching the snake’s chin when she lifted her head above mine. “I’m glad you’re both this happy with how things turned out. I’m really excited. You can be my Person of Honor, and Faust will be the cutest flower girl the world has ever seen.”
“Pretty!”
“Yes, you are,” Asra laughed, sniffing a bit and reaching to pet her as well, his white floof still laying against my chest. He turned his gaze to me a moment. “I would love that. Are you sure you don’t want to have Portia or Nadia, though? I don’t know how much use I’ll be with a wedding.”
I gave him an 'are you crazy’ look, raising my eyebrows in true Julian dramaticism. “Asra. Sweetie. You are my best friend. I will need you by my side to help me get through that ordeal with a level head and without killing anyone. Besides, Julian will need Portia with him. She’s the only one I trust to beat his ass back into focus when he inevitably panics that I’m going to leave him at the altar.”
Asra belted out a laugh. “That’s fair. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you both make it out alive. I’ll always take care of you. And now, it seems, I’m gonna be helping take care of Ilya too.”
The look he gave me was so sincere I blushed, a twinge in my chest touched at how far he’d come. Asra was willing to include Julian in our little family, albeit a little at a time it was eons of progress compared to the old days.
“And I’ll take care of you too. And of course, Faust. And Muriel, because I’ve known where that’s going for ages.”
When he froze, my nose and words going right into his white curls, Asra gave me a wide-eyed, ‘how dare you’ and I laughed.
