kuroo headcanons for the soul
minors do not interact. i have promised and delivered @srbxzero for you, my beloved
tw/cw: gn reader. nsfw below the cut — praise, degradation. mentions of semipublic sex, exhibitionism, mirror sex, petnames
i shall set the scene: it’s a bad day. your joints hurt and work was an exhaustive capitalist hellscape and you are one wrong word away from giving up escaping to a lakeside cabin. so you get home, irritable and too exhausted to be irritable, and kuroo knows. he knows by the curve of your mouth and the slump of your shoulders and sends you off to shower. he brings you your favourite hot beverage and puts on a stupid show, something real estate or animal related or your comfort animation, and cooks for you. your day was shit but you go to bed warm and loved and full.
kuroo has amassed a very very large collection of sweatshirts because not only does he buy enough for himself, he buys extra knowing you’re going to steal them. additionally, if he’s buying you a hoodie, he buys it in his size so he can steal it. he calls you a sweater thief and himself pragmatic. like ok consumer
likes to collect things ! when he was a kid he had a bookmark collection (specifically the math and science ones). he travels a lot more these days and likes to pick out magnets for the fridge.
sends you postcards if it’s a long trip. it does not matter if he’ll be back sooner than the postcard will arrive. kuroo has come home from three weeks in america and three days later you got a postcard addressed to “the love of my life”. fucking dork.
genuinely laughs at science memes and jokes. like it does not matter if it is an awful generic physics pun or some niche chemistry joke. he thinks they’re hilarious in a corny, genuine kind of way. you get him those awful shirts with the puns printed out on them and he wears them unironically all the time.
kenma and kuroo are still and always will be besties. there are many times you come home and kenma is over and they are both curled up on the couch. and almost all those times you have just inserted yourself into the cuddle pile and been welcomed. you and kenma are besties — nothing like trashing kuroo and sitting in ambient, comforting silence as you do your own thing.
(i know this is a kuroo headcanon thing but sometimes you and kenma will be on facetime / videocall for hours just vibing. not to say you don’t do that with kuroo too, but rather that you and kenma have a longstanding weekly videocall date).
kuroo likes to bring you flowers but is also delighted when he receives flowers. or when you make him coffee in the morning (he usually does a coldbrew but he’ll never turn down a cortado from the very expensive coffee machine that kenma gifted him).
wears birkenstocks and crocs and slides bc theyre comfy. new balance shoes bc theyre ergonomic. $5000 dress shoes for work. i have nothing else to say.
big fan of jasmine tea and green tea. not a huge fan of hot chocolate but drinks it on the bad days
kuroo eventually joins the local volleyball club that consist of people around his age who will play rec games with other clubs / scrimmage with each other. you are unsure how long this mans will actually last on there considering he is a househusband, works a full time business job and already goes for runs int he morning but he genuinely enjoys going and is on a mission to drag kenma out too. you show up to his games with oranges and water bottles and he kisses you, messy and sweating and glowing with satisfaction, after every game
you guys have a full sized 12 month calendar (cat themed) where you plan out cute dates and grocery shopping days. kuroo is a big meal planner and while you do your fair share of cooking, it’s easier for you to just stock up so you have anything you need on hand. it’s all very domestic and organized and very kuroo. and there is, admittedly, nothing like watching his bright grin over the calendar, inordinately expensive pen in hand to match with his ratty, too short sweatpants and bed head.
