I find myself losing focus, I stare off into an unknown abyss barely containing my mask upon my face. Hidden beneath I’m cracking, slowly but surely falling away bit by bit in a continuous cycle of unbearable nothingness. In crowds I find myself searching for your face. To be held and feel safe was all I once wished however seems pointless in this unpredictable and endless search. It is merely impossible for anyone to love you if you can’t love yourself but how can I love myself if there’s nothing left? I am a shell of hollow thoughts and emotions drowning in a sea of darkness. I keep that mask placed upon my face to hide the ugliness of my loneliness. A few times I felt safe enough to remove this mask. And every time, I was cracked deeper and fell further apart. This is why I now hold it down with full force and white knuckled determination to stay at arms length from what people call love..
