#immigrant experiences

[writingwithcolor]

Indian Character Name Checks and Relationship Hierarchy

@gardenfornoone asked:

I have two questions about some characters in my story. The first question is about their names. I created these characters a few years ago and am not sure what sources I used to name them or whether those sources are accurate. One character is called Mona Sharma and is from India (though I’ve lost my notes saying where exactly I intended her to be from so I’ll need to do that research again) Mona’s sister is named Reena. Reena’s son (whose father is a white Australian man) is named Mahender Stephens. I was wondering if there are any issues with these names, or if they make sense together. I’m particularly concerned about Mahender’s name, as a lot of sources say the name is derived from the name of the god Indra, and I don’t want to unintentionally disrespect anyone’s religion. Are there any issues with the names I’ve chosen that I should be aware of?

My second question is about the interactions between Mona and her nephew, because I know from reading this blog that in Indian culture, there is a lot more of a hierarchy based on biological age compared to in western culture, and I want to write their interactions in a way that makes sense. Mona is in her mid thirties while Mahender is in his mid twenties, and they don’t have a good relationship. Mahender was born and raised in Australia, which I’ve heard has even less of an age-based hierarchy than most other western counties, and the way I’ve written his character so far, he hasn’t shown a lot of respect for older or authority figures (e.g. he has no problem mouthing off to his much older boss), so I’m thinking this would affect his interactions with his aunt. What are some things to keep in mind if I want to write these characters interacting in a realistic way?

Please Consult the Naming Guide

What part of India are they from? Are they Hindu? *slams head against keyboard* Please find your notes or decide where they are from and what religion they are, and I will be happy to check your name, find someone who can, or point you in the right direction of finding more details.

In regards to age gap conflicts, I think whether or not the aunt was raised in Australia will heavily impact how she interacts with the nephew. It may play out as conflicts over respect for elders or not listening to advice.

- SK

Hi, please read our naming guide for South Asians. It is also not clear to me where your story is set. Diaspora migration patterns vary between countries. I agree with SK that we need more information as to the regional and religious backgrounds of these characters. 

The generation gap between first and second generation immigrants can be a serious point of tension, but it also doesn’t have to be. A lot depends on your characters:

Their beliefs and priorities

How much they value their identities

How much they want to accept or reject assimilation

Their desire to understand each other

Another key thing is many of these qualities won’t stay static. Case in point, my sibling and I were raised the same way. In school, one of us embraced assimilation, while the other didn’t, and now as adults, we’ve switched. Our parents have been thoroughly bemused throughout the entire process.

- Marika.

[appendingfic]

I’m interested in American ethnic food discourse because I have a lasagna recipe that was handed down from my Italian great-grandmother that doesn’t use the “traditional” lasagna noodles - it comes across more like a generic casserole than the delicate layering of what people normally think of as lasagna. If I opened a national chain of restaurants and marketed this as lasagna people would accuse me of Americanizing this traditional dish.

And the thing is - we do not know if this was truly my great-grandmother adapting to the pasta available to her, or if this is how lasagna is made in whatever corner of Italy she came from. My aunt has done some research on our traditional meals to try to track if the recipes passed down to us reflect a traditional method or not, and we’re still not sure.

But what does it matter if I’m the fourth generation using this method? If people enjoy it?

[wearejapanese]

アメリカ国内で、アジア系移民が”where you from?”と聞かれてしまうこと自体が、多人種国家を自認するアメリカの問題だと思うのだけど、そのとき、”I’m Japanese"と答えるのは、ようは会話の当事者がアメリカ人であることを前提に成り立つ会話ではないだろうか。

I understand that, within the US, it can be hurtful for an Asian American to be asked “Where are you from?”, given America’s reputation as a diverse country. However, if one answers “I am Japanese”, does that person assume that you are American?

(translated)

お返事が大変遅れて申し訳ございません. 難しい質問だったので、どのように答えた方がいいかについて何ヶ月迷いました。残念ながら、アノンさんは人はなぜこの質問を口にするについて色んな仮定を持っていると思います。アメリカの国内の環境では、”Where are you from” 「どこから来た？」はミクロアグレッション（小さな攻撃または小さな見下し侮辱）という無意識な差別です。多くの場合、この質問の本音は「君はここにいるべきでないように見えるので、どこから来たか教えろ」。アノンさんの言う通り、アメリカは多人種国家を自認する国なので、質問している人は、この国にいる立場がない者に対して、どういうイメージを持っているでしょうか？

現代のアメリカの歴史は移住とつながっています。多くの家族は6世いないにアメリカに移民しましたので、外面だけで誰かがアメリカ人じゃないと決めつけるのは差別的です。例えば、２０世紀の始まりから、色んな移民はヨーロッパ出身でした。しかし、同じ時期にアジアと南米と中南米の移民もアメリカに到着しました。同じ期間なのに、なぜほとんど誰も“Where are you from” の質問を彼らの白人の子孫に言わないでしょう？言い換え得れば、なぜこの質問は白人に見えない人だけに聞くのでしょうか？その上、”Where are you from?”を質問する人はほとんど白人で、聞かれる方は大抵白人ではないので、なぜ白人の人の立場から白人は『普通』で白人じゃないということは『異常』でしょうか？

アメリカの『元』の民族と言われたら、歴史的に見えばアメリカの先住民族です。もちろん彼らは白人ではないです。これ以外のアメリカ人は全て移民です*。しかし、アメリカの歴史は多人種の人々の努力にも関わらず、この国の政府は土地を持っていた白人の男性の経済的な権利を守るために作られてしまいました。そのため、この国の移住の歴史の結果で、様々の人が利用され、激しい人種差別が行われました。”Where are you from?” はなぜ無神経な質問かというと、その辛い歴史を蘇らせる上、スラスラと忘れる白人のアメリカ人の本音を示すからです。

*アメリカに住んでいる多くの黒人のご先祖達は奴隷としてアメリカに拉致されてきたので移民とは言えませんが、簡潔に答えるために含まれています。

-サイトウ

English translation of the answer below the cut.

My apologies for the delay in writing this response. This is a very difficult question to answer. I think you are making a wide range of assumptions about why the question is being asked. In the United States, the question “Where are you from?” is often a microaggression. What it often means is “You don’t look like you belong here, so tell me where you came from.” As you say, America is a diverse country, so what does a person who doesn’t belong in the US look like?

Modern American history is tightly linked to migration. Many people’s families have immigrated to this country particularly within the last 6 generations so the assumption that a person doesn’t belong, based purely on their physical appearance, is racist and discriminatory. For instance, many immigrants to the US with the last 120 years have been from Europe. Their families will have been in the US for as long as immigrants who immigrated to the US from Asia and Latin America during the same time period, but the question is not posed to their white descendants, rather, it is a question only posed to people who the asker thinks don’t look “American.” Often the asker happens to be white, which raises the unfortunate question: if America is supposed to be a diverse country, why is a white person “normal” and a non-white person “not normal”?

The only “original” Americans, technically, are Native Americans. Everyone else is an immigrant*. Anyone with a basic understanding of immigration and American history knows that this country involves many different races, but also a government that was created primarily for the economic interests of white men who owned property. However, the country’s history of immigration also exploited and discriminated against a very large group of people. Thus, the question “Where are you from?” is hurtful because it is a reminder of this history, but also a reminder of how easily white people forget.

- Saitō

*To English speaking readers, in the interest of brevity, I am using the word migration broadly to include many African Americans in this category even though the forcible abduction for  chattel slavery is not the same as immigration.

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[weepyweenie]

things that make me cry

when my mom said my current job offer is more than her current salary, one that took her at least a decade to get to