Inner Pride
A lot of the time when things go down around the world, be it current events or just days of celebration, I tend to keep a lot of my personal sentiments inside. I think it has to do with not wanting to be political or too sentimental, I’m not too sure most days. I think a part of it is also growing up with the idea of being “strong” and not showing emotion, but that’s kinda hard to do when there are so many things that are happening that I just want to talk about.
Which is my favourite thing about Tumblr and my own space. It gives me a space to share that. And that’s what I want to do and what I want to continue to keep doing while I can.
First things first, a few things that have been on my mind for the past couple of weeks:
- June 12: Independence Day of The Philippines whenever I get a chance to show off or talk about Philippines, I am filled with so much pride in being a filipino. Though I am half, not raised in the Philippines or not very well versed in filipino politics, I am so proud to be a part of culture thats multi-versed in my opinion. This year, for some reason that I still don’t understand, it was widely celebrated - from the lighting of the Burj to a few videos talking about the country - it makes me think about the political climate that is in the Philippines. I don’t know if I’ll ever really understand what’s happening (mostly because politics has always been murky ground for me regardless of the country), but I do my best to keep up with the news and understand what’s happening. Yes, the politics in Philippines is murky and disturbing at times. But I think something that’s been changing thats incredible to see is how much more aware the younger generation is and how much more they are doing by making the public more aware. I generally don’t do alot, mostly because I don’t like talking about a topic I’m not well versed in - I believe that speaking out about something is something you should do when you have a solid understanding of something. Or at least have an open mind to discuss political problems. Regardless of it all, I’m a proud filipina and to represent it any way fills me with so much pride (that’s definitely not to say that I’m proud of my other half roots, even if I don’t talk or express it too often).
- Immigration things With the current political climate in North America around immigration problems, and as someone whose future life goals involves immigrating somewhere, its something that hits real close to heart - especially when I hear stories about families being torn apart and people fearing for their lives everyday. I recently watched an episode of “The Fosters” that deals with this issue. In the effort of not giving away any spoilers, the end all of the episode talks about the very real fear that so many real families and immigrants have (and have had over many years) and whose fear only gets stronger as xenophobia gets stronger in certain communities. It makes me so much aware... I don’t know if aware is the right word, but it definitely makes me hyperaware of the different immigration laws that are in place. To be careful about the steps I have to take to make my own immigration dream come true. The episode made me realize just how important immigration laws are and how important the power of social media and justice are. It makes me want to be more aware of current events and just work on being a more aware and... participating? citizen. It makes me so angry about how much injustice immigrants and undocumented immigrants face. Whenever I hear these stories, I’m astounded by how much hate and arrogance some people have against these events. How is it that large groups of people could feel that way about breaking up families. How is it that some people don’t think how it would feel if it happened to them and their own families. I think, more than ever before, we need to remember the importance of empathy and being open to peoples experiences. - Interviews The last couple of months have been a little rough on the soul, having been out of work for a while. But in the last two weeks, I’ve had a number of phone interviews that I haven’t had. I think there’s nothing for your self-esteem like someone saying we’re considering you for a job. A chance to talk about yourself and basically brag about yourself for a couple of minutes. I just want to be able to keep my head up and remind myself that I am able to do this. It will happen, I know it will. I think the hardest part about job searching is keeping your head up and reminding yourself that you can do it. Reminding yourself that there is so much more out there and there’s so much I can do other than a job and career.
- Family It goes without saying just how much pride I have in my family and all the things we have done and how much my parents have gone through to get to where we are today, to get my sister and I to where we are today in our lives and our careers. I think my parents underestimate how much they’ve done for us - either that or they don’t realize how much we appreciate it. I constantly call my dad a drama queen, mostly because he always goes “what are people going to think when you do this/that”. I don’t understand why he does that, but I truly believe that he just underestimates his and mom’s ability to impart their wisdom and their teachings and culture. I really don’t understand it mostly because I think my sister and I are so much better people than we could have been because of all the guidance they’ve given us over the years. I’m so proud to be the daughter of two young parents who were able to give their daughters the opportunities to grow and be who they want to be. I think it’s a testament to their lives that they gave us the chance to choose what we want to do, going against a very Asian belief of controlling everything. I’m so proud of how they were able to give us an amazing balance between cultures that has allowed us to navigate the world today, with all its changes, and just how global it is today. I thank God that they were able to meet and connect and give us an amazing life - even if my dad always wants more. And then there’s my sister, my strong-headed, supportive, sometimes bully of a sister with a heart of gold with a strange way of showing it at most times, but I know always has a soft spot for her little sister - no matter how annoying she can be. I’m forever amazed at what she can do with her heart and her creativity and how much more she has to give to everyone and the art community.
- Myself I sometimes I don’t realize it, but I forget that its okay to be proud of yourself, be proud of your accomplishments, no matter how big or small. For a while, I’ve seen myself a little less than I want to, mostly because I feel like nothing has been happening in my life and I’m in crossroads. But I think it’s important to remember my own milestones - moving and living on my own in a new country, learning a new language, going to new classes, getting my own apartment. So many little and big things in my life that I shouldn’t forget and just celebrate.
Because what’s life without being proud of who you are and where you’ve come from. Therefore, this is me saying I am proud. “I am a proud Filipino-indian woman of colour, proud daughter of loving, hard-working immigrants, proud sister of a Masters-going graphic designer and a proud future STEM member. 🙏🏽”
- June 21, 2019
