Look I don’t know Hudson, and this is going to get deeply parasocial and maybe I’m projecting some of my past experiences onto someone I don’t know. I fully understand that, but I feel safe airing this out on your blog because similar things are being discussed— and you’ve created a space here that I feel comfortable saying all this here.
We see maybe 1% of these people’s actual life’s— I can only observe what is being made visible to us, but so much of this situation is stirring up emotions for me. I want to express my thoughts and then step away from this space for a while just to see how things unfold, because I’m clearly getting too affected by this even though it has nothing to do with me. I’m a student getting my Ph.D in Psychology, so maybe that’s where a lot of this is stemming from, just bear with me.
Emotional debt is extremely exhausting, for every person involved. Having a sense of obligation towards someone because they have been with you and supported you through tough times in your life, and choosing to maintain relationships because of that reason—only creates an endless cycle of resentment and toxicity. It’s not loyalty- it’s guilt. You may feel like you owe them, but love shouldn’t operate like a debt to be paid off. A healthy partnership thrives on mutual connection, not a list of gratitude. You’re also diminishing their experience. Your partner deserves to be with someone who truly loves and desires them, not someone who is simply “tolerating” them out of some kind of obligation. You can deeply appreciate what your partner has done for you without paying them back with your romantic future.
So many people get stuck in relationships and friendships that are no longer serving them because they feel that changing the dynamic that they’ve always been used to, would be too hard to readjust to. They’re trying to save themselves the growing pains. They have the “sunk cost” fallacy of: feeling like you’ve invested too much time or energy to walk away now. People that are so intertwined with pieces of your life, that you wouldn’t know what it would look like if they were not there. It’s terrifying. It sets you off, and makes you spiral about everything you could’ve done to maintain things as they were: How did I change? Is it my fault? What could’ve I done differently? Why do I feel so far removed from people that used to make me feel so at home? Why do I no longer feel the same way?
The idea of wanting to “be the same person I’ve always been” cannot happen in situations like this. Whether Hudson wants to accept it or not, his relationships have changed. They have to. You can have the safe space of home where you can re-center and feel the most at peace, but you can’t ignore you are not the same person. This is a new version of yourself, and it’s not a bad thing. There is balance you have to find and maintain that allows you to feel & accept both.
When people are suddenly thrust into fame, it triggers a psychological phenomenon often described as “arrested development.” The sudden loss of privacy, combined with intense public scrutiny, can cause profound anxiety, isolation, and a struggle to maintain a grounded sense of reality. Suddenly everyone wants a piece of your virality. Friends and family dynamics shift, and it becomes incredibly difficult to discern who has genuine intentions versus who is leveraging your new status. You can’t operate the same way you used to, because you now have more to loose than gain.
Your “stability” falters because you suddenly don’t know what stable ground you have to stand on. If you’re lucky you have people you can lean on and treat you with the empathy and normalcy you deserve, but it’s foolish to think that just because you’ve had people in your life for a long time— that means that they will act appropriately in these new circumstances. You have to pick through the dynamics of what you once knew, to now the dynamics of what you must apply. New boundaries have to be set, new expectations have to be made, and new protections have to be put in place.
There’s no guide book for this, and different people will react in different ways. If you don’t have people around you who are championing your success instead of highlighting your faults, you will loose so much of your self worth. You’ll put yourself down in order to lift these people up that you view as “more deserving” because they stayed by your side when you were “nothing.” When you had nothing, when you were no one. But guess what? No one person is more deserving of love and genuine support over another. Stop keeping score. No one is entitled to your own happiness. Stop feeling like you have to “earn your existence.” You have to weigh your personal well being against your shared history and honor your current needs.
I don’t know exactly what the point of all my ramblings are, except that how I’m seeing and perceiving Hudson right now is that he is in a long transition period. And I feel a deep sense of sadness over how much I feel like he is overwhelmed of not knowing what to do and who to pour into. I know he does have genuine people around him that love and support him, but at the same time- I feel that some people think he has grounded himself, when in reality I feel he is still freely falling. I can only hopes he finds a safe place to land. I’m sending him nothing but love and support.
Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk lol
Hi omg thanks so much for this writeup!🥰
I think a lot of us caught on to similar feelings in H a while ago. Especially with how pointed he was in his VDay story when highlighting his gratitude to K and not his love of her if that applies at all. He absolutely does read to me as someone who's loyal to a fault and tends to discount/ignore when the people he considers to be loyal to him to slight him. He reads to me as very forgiving if at times naively so. Too nice. Not discerning enough.
I do absolutely agree that he's been struggling with his image post-fame. He seems to want to keep his same lifestyle before he got famous. Not wanting to accept that's not possible in any way. He's stubborn. And unrealistic.
But I feel as though he's been able to reflect on things lately. Maybe that's wishful thinking on my part. But he's been sharing books he's reading, films he's watching etc. That suggests to me time for himself and self-reflection. And maybe a fresh outlook on things. Again, maybe wishful thinking on my part but the way he's been with his friends and K lately suggests to me that maybe he has redrawn some boundaries in his mind in a way that reflects the truth of his situation. At least, I hope.
Again. Thanks so much for this! I appreciate you♥️
