So Swiss, ever the caring partner, took Phantom’s plate of food and gently knocked on their door. No response came so Swiss tried the handle and found it unlocked. He had just intended on dropping the food by Phantom’s bedside for whenever they woke up but the sight of the little Bug broke Swiss’ heart.
They were curled up so small and hidden under many blankets with their back to the door. They had an extremely large plain black hoodie on that Swiss knew had been dubbed their ‘dysphoria hoodie’. Swiss walked around the nest and saw Phantom was awake, staring at nothing while tears rolled down their face.
Or,
Phantom is feeling dysphoric, and Swiss helps.
Words: 1.9k
Rating: Gen
Relationships: Phantom/Rain, Phantom/Swiss
Tags: Gender dysphoria, hurt/comfort, fluff, they/them Phantom, he/they Rain, transmasc Phantom and Rain, HRT, chest binding, Aether pops up for a second too, and transmasc Dew mention, author is projecting, implied polyghouls.
Warnings: Period talk/period-induced dysphoria, a lil mention of slightly unsafe binding practices and a tiny bit of medical language as Phantom talks about their HRT and their issues with it.
Terms used for Phantom and Rain’s anatomy - Chest and tissue.
~~~
It was about halfway through the day when Swiss realised he hadn’t seen Phantom yet. The little Bat had been exhausted after getting back from their first tour and Swiss had taken up a few of their duties so they could rest. They both usually at least still saw each other at breakfast, if not lunch. But when Swiss saw the still-full plate by Phantom’s seat at the table, he knew something was up.
A quick question to Aurora told Swiss that they hadn’t left their room at all yet and she assumed they were just sleeping in. Not even Phantom’s neighbours, Rain and Cirrus, had heard anything from within the room. So Swiss, ever the caring partner, took Phantom’s plate of food and gently knocked on their door. No response came so Swiss tried the handle and found it unlocked. He had just intended on dropping the food by Phantom’s bedside for whenever they woke up but the sight of the little Bug broke Swiss’ heart.
They were curled up so small and hidden under many blankets with their back to the door. They had an extremely large plain black hoodie on that Swiss knew had been dubbed their ‘dysphoria hoodie’. Swiss walked around the nest and saw Phantom was awake, staring at nothing while tears rolled down their face.
“Buggy?” Swiss whispered, and Phantom’s violet eyes met his golds.
“Hi.” Phantom said quietly.
“Bad dysphoria day?” Swiss assumed by the hoodie but just wanted confirmation, which he got when Phantom nodded, “I’m sorry, baby.”
Phantom shrugged, “‘s not your fault.”
“I know, but I hate seeing you like this.” Swiss let out a deep breath, “Can I touch you? Do you want a cuddle?”
“Please.” Phantom said, and Swiss wasted no time in climbing into the nest and bringing Phantom’s head to rest against his chest while he laid on his back.
Read below the cut or on ao3
“Has anything brought this on or is it just one of those days? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Swiss said.
They groaned, “My period’s coming soon, my chest is sore so I can’t bind, and loads of people online are calling me ‘he’ and some even saying ‘she’. I know the public don’t know, but it still bothers me.” Phantom said.
“A bit of a downside to the masks and anonymity, I guess, but Frater can find a way to get everyone to know your pronouns, I’m sure.” Swiss said, taking a breath before going onto the next point, knowing Phantom needed logic for their addled brain that wouldn’t be able to find solutions for itself, “Your T hasn’t stopped your period yet?”
Phantom shook their head.
“Have you told Aether? He’s managing your prescription, right?”
“Hoped it would just go away.” Phantom sniffled.
“Okay, well, how about you tell him? When Dew started his T he had to get an extra shot to stop his period. I’m sure Aeth would do the same for you.” Swiss said.
“Maybe.” Phantom said.
“You can ask when you feel more yourself maybe, yeah?” Swiss said and Phantom nodded, “You said your chest is sore?”
“Always happens with my period.” Phantom said.
“How much have you been binding recently?” Swiss asked.
“Like, 8 or 9 hours every day?”
“When was the last time you took a day off?”
Phantom went still and blinked rapidly as they tried to remember.
“Buggy, it won’t help if you’re too sore to bind. You need binder breaks.”
“I know! I just hate how I look without it. I know I don’t have a lot going on up here,” They gestured vaguely to their chest, “but knowing it’s there makes me feel like a freak.”
“I think it’s well established that I’m the freak in this pack.” Swiss said, and smiled at the little laugh it drew from Phantom, “Have you ever tried transtape?”
“No, what’s that?” Phantom asked.
“It’s the stuff Rain uses. Kinda like KT tape but it’s for your chest. You can wear it longer than you can a binder and safely too.”
“Will it make me flat?” Phantom asked.
“Less than your binder, probably, but it will still leave you pretty flat, yeah.” Swiss said, going off what he knew from Rain’s own chest.
“Do you think Rain would mind?” Phantom asked.
“He gave you his old binder, I’m sure they wouldn’t.”
Phantom nodded and snuggled their head further into Swiss’ chest, “Can we just cuddle for a bit longer? When do you have to go back?”
Swiss angled for his phone and checked the schedule, “Really I should be going back in about half an hour, but I can delay until tomorrow.”
“What? No.” Phantom moved to their elbows to look at Swiss, “You’ll get in trouble, you can’t!”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass. You’re more important.” Swiss said, kissing the top of Phantom’s head and guiding them back down to cuddle.
“It’ll make me feel bad.” Phantom muttered.
“Well don’t. I’m a grown Ghoul, I can make my own decisions. And I decide to stay with my sexy little bat.”
“I don’t feel sexy right now.” Phantom said.
“You’re always sexy to me.”
“Sure.” Phantom said.
“What? You are. You’re the most sexy little thing I’ve ever seen.”
“What about Rory?”
“She’s pretty.”
“Dew?”
“He’s hot.”
“Rain?”
“Handsome.”
“You really think I’m sexy with my face full of snot?” Phantom laughed slightly.
“Like I said before, I’m the freak of this pack.” Swiss wore his trademark grin as he spoke.
“Don’t I know it?” Phantom said, their eye-roll practically audible.
Swiss laughed and kissed Phantom head once more before snuggling into an easy silence, each rumbling out their own purrs as they got comfy. Phantom also started making biscuits against Swiss, kneading along the plump of his tummy. It was a behaviour that never had any sexual motivation behind it for Phantom, and it certainly took some getting used to for the Ghouls when the little Bat first started doing it, but they had all come to love it because it meant Phantom felt safe and secure.
Swiss was sure he’d fallen asleep at some point as they stayed huddled in the dark room, the food long forgotten. But at some point, the silence broke.
“Thank you.” Phantom said.
“For what, Bat?” Swiss asked.
“For helping me see a bit of logic. I hate my dysphoria.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I’ll always want to help you.” Swiss kissed Phantom’s forehead.
They stayed cuddled for even longer until Rain knocked saying it was time for dinner, and with consent from Phantom, Swiss called Rain in and explained the binder situation. Rain preferred transtape because he could swim with it and it didn’t press against his gills like a binder did. They had rolls of it in their room, all different colours and sizes and soon had Phantom picking out a roll of purple.
Phantom wanted Swiss to stay with them and they kept their eyes shut as they took their hoodie off, and Rain measured out strips of the tape. Swiss was whispering little reassurances the whole time of how amazing they looked, how well they were doing, how flat their chest looked as Rain fixed the strips over their tissue. Phantom felt tears pricking their eyes from the praise.
“And done.” Rain said as they laid the last piece and threw away the backing, “Do you want to look at it or just put your hoodie back on?”
Phantom thought about it for a minute, and slowly cracked each eye open. Rain was stood in front of them, blocking the mirror, and also was shirtless revealing his own blue tape. Rain’s chest was similar to Phantom’s, if a bit bigger so Phantom looked at Rain as an estimate for how they looked.
“C- can I look?” Phantom asked.
“You don’t need my permission.” Rain smiled, “I’ll move out the way on a count of three, okay? You tell me when.”
Phantom looked to Swiss who was beaming in pride for the little Quint, “So handsome.” He muttered and Phantom blushed.
They nodded to Rain and they counted, “1… 2… 3…”
Phantom’s face remained neutral as they took their chest in. They could still see a bit of the shape of their tissue but they think they could manage it. Rain always looked flat under his t-shirts and so Phantom assumed they would be the same.
“So, you can leave it on for up to three days.” Rain started explaining, “You can leave it on in the shower and everything too. When you take it off though you need to apply something to the area so the adhesive comes off and doesn’t start breaking your skin. If your skin starts getting agitated or damaged at any point, go to Aether. He’s helped me out a lot with it.”
Phantom nodded, “W- will you help? When I have to take it off?”
“Of course, Bug.” Rain came over and stood behind Phantom, chin on their shoulder and looking at them in the mirror. Between that and Swiss still standing nearby staring, Phantom felt themself blushing again and buried their face in their hands.
“So handsome indeed.” Rain said, putting a small kiss to Phantom’s neck before pulling back, “You want your hoodie back on?”
Phantom nodded and Rain helped it over their arms and head. They looked at their side profile in the mirror and smiled wide when they looked completely flat, finding they couldn’t stop running a hand over the fabric to smooth it and couldn’t tear their eyes away from their reflection.
“Come on, Narcissus.” Swiss smiled, “I’m hungry and you’re about to become my dinner if we don’t get moving.”
“Hey! What about me?” Rain mock-protested.
“You’d be dessert.” Swiss assured as he held his hand out for Phantom and Rain.
“That’s acceptable.” Rain said, placing a small kiss on Swiss’ lips before the Multi guided the three of them out to the dining room where everyone else had already started tucking in.
After they’d finished eating Swiss and Rain got up to leave but Phantom stayed behind. Aether was on pot-washing duty tonight and Phantom saw a good opportunity.
“Hey, Aeth, can I ask you a question about my hormones?”
“Yeah, of course. What’s up?” He asked putting down the plate he was washing and giving Phantom his full attention.
“Sh- should my period have stopped by now?” Phantom asked in a hushed voice.
“Hmm, how long have you been on T now? 5 months?”
“Yeah, 6 in a week and a half.”
“When’s your next period due?”
“In a few days.”
“It should have stopped by now, probably. I can’t do anything about this month, but after it’s done come to my office. I can get you started on these sort of booster shots that should stop it, if you want?” Aether said, work voice on despite it being out-of-office hours.
Phantom smiled and nodded, “Thank you, Aeth.”
“Of course, it’s my job and you’re pack. Not gonna leave you out to dry. Any other issues with your T or…?”
“Nope. All good.” Phantom smiled, giving Aether a hug before running back to Swiss’ room.
In the embraces of the Multi and Water Ghouls, Phantom couldn’t stop purring and kneading along their bodies. The two older Ghouls made Phantom feel loved and very handsome indeed. And with some headway to solving a couple more things with their dysphoria, they smiled at maybe having a life free from that dreadful weight.
