Breakfast In Bed - Matt Sturniolo
(english isn’t my first language)
Warnings : Angst
This is heavily based on this song
Part 2
It had been days since the breakup. Maybe weeks. Honestly, I had no idea anymore. Time blurred together when all I did was lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, drowning in the same thoughts on repeat. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, it was like he was still here—like if I just reached out far enough, I’d find him next to me.
You said that you love me
Isn’t that lovely
Because loving Matt was all I had ever known.
Since kindergarten, when we’d share crayons and pinky-promise to be best friends forever. Since middle school, when we got stuck in our ugly phases at the same time, all braces and bad haircuts. Since Year 9, when we finally stopped pretending and made it official.
Tangled in sheets
Strawberry fields
It was always supposed to be Matt and me.
Being with him was the easiest thing in the world. It was waking up to breakfast in bed, sneaking out at 2 a.m. for McDonald’s, slow-dancing in my room to songs that weren’t even romantic, but they felt like they were when we were together. His family had become my second family—his younger triplet brother, Chris, constantly annoying me like he was my actual brother, and his older triplet, Nick, acting like my own personal life coach. It wasn’t just about me and matt. It was all of them.
You promised me pancakes
For all of my Sundays
And I guess in some way
I got that still
And then YouTube happened.
At first, it was harmless—just Matt and his brothers messing around with a camera, filming challenges and vlogs, hoping to make something out of it. I thought it was cute. I was proud of them. I watched every video, liked every post, supported them every chance I got.
But then things started changing.
Just like you said
I’m eating breakfast in bed
Ever since you left
I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again
Slowly, so slowly I barely noticed at first.
A missed date here. A last-minute cancellation there. Him leaving in the middle of dinner because “I need to film, I promise i’ll make it up to you soon.” I told myself it was fine. I told myself I understood. But the more it happened, the more it hurt. The more it felt like I was losing him.
We graduated, and it should’ve been the start of something new for us. But instead, it was the beginning of the end. They hit a million subscribers. The dream was real now. And I was happy for him—I really was. But when I hugged him that day, I could feel it.
The distance.
Then, one night, I got the text.
“I’m so sorry to do this over text, but I can’t be with you anymore. I love you more than anything, truly, but for my career, I need to take this step.”
Swear I’ll die in this room
I can’t even move
I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again
I stared at my phone, my chest tightening, my whole body going numb.
This wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening. Not like this.
I started typing, my hands shaking. Begging him to talk to me, to tell me what I had done wrong, to tell me how to fix it. But none of my messages sent.
Blocked.
Just like that, five years together—fifteen years of knowing each other—gone.
All I got was a text.
And I completely broke.
I stopped leaving my room. Stopped eating. My mom started leaving food by my bed, her voice soft when she told me she was worried, that I needed to take care of myself. But I couldn’t. Everything felt dull. Pointless. Like the world had drained of all its color, and I was stuck in this constant ache in my heart of everything and nothing at the same time.
Black coffee’s gone cold
Just like my soul
The stains on my T-shirt
Are eleven days old
I just lay there, wasting away, replaying it all.
What could’ve been.
What should’ve been.
What would never be.
I miss you like hell
I’m spoilt like milk
If you saw me right now
You’d run for the hills
I wondered if he ever thought about me. If he ever regretted it. If he ever stared at the ceiling at night and felt like something was missing.
Just like you said
I’m eating breakfast in bed
Ever since you left
I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again
But I already knew the answer.
He had the whole world now. He had everything he’d ever wanted.
I closed my eyes, gripping the sheets tighter, wishing I could just disappear.
I made myself take a bite of the cold breakfast that had been sitting on my desk for hours, as my mind drifted.
Wondering was any of it real
How come you don’t feel the way I feel?
I didn’t lie, I didn’t cheat or kill
So, why is this my death-row meal?
part 2??
(divider by @bernardsbendystraws )
