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Unintentional eavesdropping
Have you ever been on public transit or in a restaurant, casually sitting there, and all of a sudden you overhear a very interesting conversation around you and you stop to listen? Being someone who goes to restaurants alone and also takes transit often, this happens more than you can imagine! Yesterday, I overheard a business deal going on in a restaurant, which I found intriguing but at the…
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The characters on Law and Order be so out of control. This was an actual conversation.
Detective: What are you smilin' about?
Coroner: 😊 novelty! Not everyday you get one 'a these! *raises arm of body and ☺️ at the fact that it plops right back down onto the floor with a thud*
Detective: 😃 oh *chuckles* he's fresh!
Me: They’re thinking a 16″ seat, which would be my guess from looking at him.
Manager: You looked at his butt?
Me: No. I did not. (He’s a kid, so no, I didn’t.)
Manager: I was just kidding. I’ll go help them out.
Dimples, whispering: We do look at a lot of butts around here though.
Me: *nod of agreement*
Dimples: That Honky Tonk Badonka Donk!
Me: We need to write a male version of that, about cowboy butts.
Dimples, nodding: They are the best.
Me: I’ve thought about making a pinterest page for pretty girls, like models and stuff that I just want to look at again and I realized something. The one for girls would all be them looking elegant in pretty dresses. But all the men would be shooting long guns from a prone position.
Dimples: From this angle *frames butt with hands*
Me: Mhm.
Things You Hear from Medics:
(Regarding a recent minor accident the fire truck had with a pole) "Such behavior is not in line with the values, goals, and mission of our institution. How do you feel about this?" - Captain, struggling to keep a straight face "Fucking stupid."
Things You Hear from Medics:
“Oh, how was your [MVC] call?” “*stomping through the station, halfway into bunker gear and annoyed af* Just a fender bender. Some f*cking p*ssy complaining about his back.” "Wow."
Things You Hear from Medics:
"You said you didn't like giving [blowjobs] anyway." -M "I didn't say that, I just said I wouldn't give *you* one." -Me
knitlark
replied to your post
“GASP I have the PERFECT prompt Regina accidentally casts a spell on...”
LMAO I FEEL SO RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS AND THAT'S JUST GREAT.
This is 100% your doing. Happy 26th, my dear! The best is yet to come.
YOUR DICK MUST BE HUGE, IT MUST BE LIKE 6 FT 'CAUSE I JUST WANNA GET MY KNEES AND PRAISE IT.
DID YOU GROW UP READING BAD FANFICTION??? A DICK THAT IS LONGER THAN 9 INCHES WILL CAUSE DIZZINESS, LOW BLOOD PRESSURE, AND FAINTING UPON ERECTION. ALSO IT WILL NOT GET WHOLLY HARD.
IF I HAD A 6 FT DICK YOU WOULD BE PRAISING MY SEMI-SOFT FLOPPY DICK WHILE I LAY UNCONSCIOUS ON THE GROUND.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT.
