Sep 4, 2020
Roger: Hi, I want to know what your return policy is.
Receptionist: Sir, this is an adoption center.
Roger: Okay? And?
Ben: Dad?
Roger: Don't call me that.
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Roger: Hi, I want to know what your return policy is.
Receptionist: Sir, this is an adoption center.
Roger: Okay? And?
Ben: Dad?
Roger: Don't call me that.
John: in your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Brian:
Brian: Hey Roger, how tall are you?
Ben: *does something stupid*
Brian: Sheesh! What's wrong with that boy? I'm telling you, Roger, he gets it from your side of the family?
Roger: What are you talking about? Ben isn't our son.
Brian: *sniffles* I know.
Joe and Ben: *at a pub*
Joe: I'll have something as dark as my soul, please.
Ben: They don't serve milk at pubs, mate.
Joe:
Ben: And you're lactose intolerant.
Freddie: Oh, Rami is at the special age where a boy has one thing on his mind.
Reporter, smiling: Girls?
Rami: Homicide.
Roger: Kids these days are SO ungrateful! I had to RAISE you! I had to CLEAN you! I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it!!!
Ben: *sighs and runs to Roger*
Roger: What? What are you doin—
Ben: *chokes Roger* YOU THINK I FUCKING ASKED FOR THIS SHIT?!!!?!
Ben: Don't worry. All we have to do is go up the— *notices the stairs are missing* WHAT HAPPENED TO THE STAIRS?!
Joe: My parents took them down because I am grounded.
Gwilym: That's disturbing.
Brian: Alright, either choose the two prompts or come up with your own to write your essay.
Joe: Can I write an essay on why marajuna should be legal?
Brian:
Brian: Just make it like a pothead didn't write it.