#incorrect bcb quotes

[incorrectbcbquotes]

Paulo: Lucy, have you seen my copy of the greatest movie of all time?

Lucy: 17 again?

Paulo: yeah

Lucy: Pretty sure it fell in the hole

Paulo: What hole? OH MY GOSH!

*Dramatic hole zoom in*

Paulo: What is that!?

Lucy: It’s a hole

Paulo: yeah I can see that. What’s it doing there?

Lucy: Well I woke up this morning *sips coffee* then there was a hole

Paulo: What are you gonna do about it?

Lucy: Well, I put a rug over it

*Dramatic hole zoom in*

Lucy: Yeah it fell in the hole

Paulo: Should we call the police or something?

Lucy: Oh yeah, I called the police yeah

Paulo: Well, where are they?

Lucy: They’re in the hole

*Dramatic hole zoom in*

Paulo: *Looks around* Where is your girlfriend? Lucy, where is your girlfriend?!

Lucy: She’s at school.

Grooves: Oh good, where does she go?

Lucy: In the hole. 

*Dramatic hole zoom in*

Paulo: Gosh! How deep even is this thing?! *Grabs Lucy’s mug and drops it into the hole*

Lucy: That was my favorite mug… Now it’s in the hole

*Dramatic hole zoom in*

Paulo: Lucy, do you even know what this is? Like for all we know it could be an interdimensional wormhole or a gateway to the hell or…

Paulo: Lucy?

Paulo: Lucy?!

Paulo: LUCY?!?

Lucy: Hey what’s up I got a snack *bites into an apple*

Paulo: Lucy, will you please take this seriously?

*A hand reaches out of the hole making monster noises*

Paulo: *Intense screaming*

Lucy: *nonchalantly pulls out a gun and shoots the hand a few times*

Paulo: What was that?!

Lucy: Hole person

Paulo: Where did it come from?!

Lucy: …

Paulo: Right! The hole! Yeah! Dude, why are you being so calm about this?!

Lucy: I’m more worried about the space octopus…

Paulo: What space octopus?!

*Space octopus groans, grabs Paulo with ones of it’s tentacles, and pulls him in*

*Dramatic hole zoom in*

Lucy: That one *Pulls out the DVD* Oh, here it is!

*Dramatic hole zoom in*

Lucy: *drops it* Oh shit!

*Dramatic hole zoom in*

[incorrectbcbquotes]

Lucy: I eat cheerios because they're heart healthy! And my heart has been severely damaged, so Mike, if you're out there,

[incorrectbcbquotes]

Lucy: Just ended a 5 year relationship

Daisy: oh my gosh are you ok?

Lucy: it wasnt mine

[incorrectbcbquotes]

Mr. Noodles: Nice work.

Paulo: Thanks, Dad. (everyone in the classroom stops what they’re doing and stares at Paulo) Why is everyone staring at me?

Lucy: You just called Mr Noodles “Dad.” You said, “Thanks, Dad."

Paulo: What? No, I didn’t. I said, "Thanks, man."

Mr. Noodles: Do you see me as a father figure, Paulo?

Paulo: No! If anything, I see him as a bother figure, ‘cuz he’s always bothering me.

Mike: Hey! Show your father some respect!

Paulo: I didn’t call him Dad!

Mr. Noodles: No, no, no, no, Paulo, I take it as a compliment.

Jessica: It’s not a big deal. I called Madison "mom” once, and she’s my Girlfriend.

Madison: (Sigh)

Paulo: Guys, jump on that! Jessica has psycho-sexual issues!

Rachel: Old news. But you calling Mr. Noodles “Daddy"—

Paulo: Hey, "Daddy” is not on the table here.

David: But you did call him “Dad”, dude.

Paulo: You shut up. You’ve done nothing but lie since you got here.

David: All right, all right, I was lying about the holdup, but the dad thing, that happened.

Paulo: Aha! He admitted that his alibi was a lie. It was a trap, all part of my crazy, devious plan.

Mr. Noodles: I believe you.

Paulo: Thank you.

Mr. Noodles: Son. (Paulo glares) Do you want to talk about it later over a game of catch? (Holds a baseball in his hand with a smile on his face)

Paulo: (beat)(sigh) I’d like that.

[incorrectbcbquotes]

Molly: [Sighs] I guess there's no way around it, Justin. We're gonna have to partner up, go to the library, and find the real culprit together. Maybe even developing an unlikely but meaningful friendship! Not because I'm desperate to have a friend, and my therapist says it's because I force myself on people, and I should take things slow, and "What are you doing at my house? No, I don't want to ride a tandem bike with you. It's 1:00 A.M. I'm calling the police." No! Our souls will fuse like polyester pants with leg skin after an accident with boiling water! But, like, in a good way. This could be beautiful. Potentially life-long friendship. Maybe-- [Justin has left]

Molly: [Sighs] Thank goodness you didn't stick around to hear that. It's like my brain got emotional food poisoning and the nearest exit was my mouth.

[incorrectbcbquotes]

Lucy: a pet rock is a fun pet until you realize that its essentially immortal and you've damned it to an eternity of watching its loved ones die

Mike: well arent you a ray of sunshine

[incorrectbcbquotes]

Molly: more friends would be nice...

Lucy: well, then you need to go meet some!

Molly: need?

Lucy: more friends could always help.

Molly: I suppose. But most people there would want to kill me.

Molly: so...

Lucy: kill them first

Molly: that's not how you make friends

[incorrectbcbquotes]

Lucy: so... are we friends again?

Jordan: no.

Lucy: w-what??

Jordan: We are siblings.

Lucy: that was terrifying, dont pause like that ever again!!!