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Freddie, to Jim: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Roger: *from the other room* would you like to stay forever?

Jim: I don't where you guys are taking about. I'm straight.

[Freddie walks into the room]

Jim: I have to gay

Jim: ... I mean go

[A teary-eyed Miami who's fixing Freddie's wedding tie]

Freddie: Are you having an allergic reaction to my boutonniere?

Miami: No. I'm just so happy for you. And for me. After today, you are officially - and, more important, legally - Jim's problem.

Freddie: Don't be silly, Miami.

Freddie: I will always be your problem.

Jim: [Holding a box] What would you say if I came home one day with a bunch of kittens?

Freddie: What's in the box?

Jim: ...

Freddie: Darling, what's in the box?

Jim: I think you already know.

Box: *meows*

Freddie: Gay update:

*looks at Jim*

Freddie: I'm currently feeling as gay as the gayest gay who ever tried to gay.

Jim Hutton: *entering garden lodge* Hey, I'm home

Jim: *sees Phoebe Freestone shoving Joe Fanelli into the washing machine as Freddie records it*

Jim: *retreating* I am no longer home

Freddie: If you have 20 cookies and I ask for 7, how many will you have?

Jim: Zero

Freddie: But-

Jim: I would give everything to you, because I love you

Freddie: 😍

Jim Hutton: Freddie and I had an argument

Phoebe: Oh, so he's not talking to you?

Jim: *sighs* No, when Freddie's pissed he gets really dramatic and ominous. Watch. Love?

Freddie: *not looking up from the piano* Yes?

Jim: I love you

Freddie: You only love the idea of me

Jim: *sighs loudly*

#incorrect jim hutton