lotf characters as things ive said/my friends or family has said
jack: *swerves car*
ralph: tHIS IS WHY SIMON HAS ANXIETY
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roger: see i don’t condone discrimination against anyone but like gingers are just so much fun to make fun of you’re just so…ginger
jack: jeez thanks rog
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piggy: when i was in elementary school, my entire personality was being fat, having asthma, being unpopular, and talking too much. now…not much has changed but im really gay
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simon: man i want top surgery. maybe ill just snap and do it mysef
roger: fun. can i help?
simon: actually nevermind
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piggy, whispering: oh, here comes the twins!
ralph: hi! which one are you?
piggy: ralph you can’t just ask which twin he is that’s rude!
ralph: but i don’t know!!
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percival: oh yeah i live at *address* our home phone is *number*
jack, sarcastically: aww, you have that memorized? how cute
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jack: ooh ooh let’s sing “love is an open door” ill be anna you be hans ready go!
roger: why do i always have to be hans-
jack: aLL MY LIFE HAS BEEN A SERIES OF DOORS IN MY FACE-
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simon: “trans teen” backwards is “sneet snart”
jack: are you high
simon: shhhh be quiet sneet snart
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piggy: shit im having an asthma attack
ralph: dont worry i remembered to pack your inhaler for this hike
piggy: can i have it please
ralph: it’s at the hotel
piggy: wHY WOULD YOU LEAVE IT AT THE HOTEL IF YOU PACKED IT FOR THIS HIKE?!
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jack: at camp a chaperone asked me if i was a band kid
jack: i told her i was a theatre kid
jack: she looked disappointed and scared
jack: …
jack: i love being a theatre kid
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roger: we passed a group of 6th graders in the hall the other day and i said “oh, look, it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet! and simon looked so embarrassed that he was walking with me
simon: please don’t torment children
roger: no
