#incorrect novels

[experiment--1006]

HUMAN AU STUFFS :)

*The trio are at a playground park thing idk*

Web: "Awww look at him gooo... he's having so much fun!"

Lucifer: "Remind me, again, why the f*ck i'm here?"

Web: "Because you're pale as a vampire and need SUN. Well... we all do. But especially you!"

Lucifer: *quite literally glowing under the sun. Thats how pale she is.* "..riiiigghttt..."

Art: *in the distance, starting to scream and run, tripping and falling flat on his face trying to make his way over to the two*

Lucifer: "the hell-"

Web: "wh-?"

Art: "AAAAAAAAAAAA- uFF!" *immediately crawls onto the bench and squishes himself between Luci and Web*

Web: "Whats wrong what happened?!"

Lucifer: "did someone bully you."

Art: "BEEEEEE!!!"

Web: "Wha- a bee? Buddy you don't needa be scared of those! They won't hurt you!"

Lucifer: "he's lying. bee's actively hunt for little blonde kids."

Art: *aaand hes crying really hard* "WHAATT???! AAH-"

Web: "LUCIFER! Ignore them, Art..."

Lucifer: "What?~"

Web: "Stop scaring Art!"

Lucifer: "I'm telling the hoonest truth." *sarcasm*

*Casually a big fat bumble bee flies over near Art*

Art: "NO- NONONO! NOO-"

Web: "Calm down! Calm down!! It's not gonna hurt you, see? Bumble bees don't have stingers either, so it can't hurt you anyway!" *He lets it land on his finger*

Art: *nope, still bawling.*

Lucifer: "oh- sh*t-" *he casually wraps an arm around Art, pulling him closer* "web, keep it away from him."

Web: "But its so cute! Look how fuzzy it is Art!"

Lucifer: "i'll break your finger if you bring that thing closer to him."

Web: "...noted." *he proceeded to keep the bee to himself until it flew off*

Lucifer: *After the bee was gone they IMMEDIATELY let go and scoot away.*

Art: "th-thank you... lu..."

Lucifer: "Nope. Lalala can't hear you. Don't thank me."

Web: "*giggle*"

- Puppet

// AAAAH Puppet I love you to bits (/p), I need to start tagging these as incorrect novels or something because this is a FULL SCRIPT and I adore ittttttt, utterly cackling

And it's so accurate?? Every bit?? Spooky boy is never beating the caring allegations. Doing the worst job alive of acting aloof. Protector's gonna protect

Also if it had been a wasp instead of a bee they would have both had to peel Lucifer out of a tree <3 I have spoken

[huachengslastbraincell]

Hua Cheng: Ok, which one of you LITTLE FUCKS ATE THE LAST COOKIE?! I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-

Xie Lian: I did.

Hua Cheng: -iss you and give you more. Did you like the cookie, gege? I hope you did. You know what? I'm gonna go to the store and pick up the ingredients and make another batch for you. [Leaves]

Qi Rong: fucking simp.

[huachengslastbraincell]

"Ah, the sun, or as I like to call it, an imposter trying to impersonate my gege. Well, guess what buddy?! YOU WILL NEVER BE AS RADIANT, BEAUTIFUL AND ADMIRABLE AS XIE LIAN! YOU HEAR ME?! ALL THAT YOU DO IS HURT PEOPLE'S EYES, YOU USELESS LACKLUSTER PIECE OF SHIT!!"

— Hua Cheng at one point, tbh.

[huachengslastbraincell]

Hua Cheng: Sometimes I get sad and then I remember Gege exists and I’m not as sad anymore.

[huachengslastbraincell]

He Xuan: Shi Qingxuan, what are you doing? Your shoes are on the wrong feet.

Shi Qingxuan: But I don’t have any other feet?

He Xuan: I can’t do this anymore.

[experiment--1006]

HUMAN AU!!

Art: "luuuuuuciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuuuhhh"

Luci: "what is it?"

Art: "im booreeed..."

Luci: "go do something then."

Art: "theres nothing to do..."

Luci: "well do you have something in mind?"

Art: "not really."

Luci: "then don't complain."

Art: "...hmph." *flops onto the couch next to Luce and starts pouting.*

Luci:

Luci: "*sigh* wanna go somewhere?"

Art: "where to?"

Luci: "how about the museum. i think tickets are cheaper today—"

Art: *literally gone*

Luci: "...okay then..??"

*Not even five minutes later*

Art: *He's back fully dressed up in his gear with noise blocking headphones and a sensory chew necklace* "I'm ready!"

Luci: "???"

Luci: "i still need to get ready? you never agreed either."

Art: "okay, yes i want to go to the museum!"

Web: *suddenly in the doorway* "You guys going somewhere?"

Art: "AH!"

Luci: "!!!"

Web: "pff- you guys good?"

Luci: "i thought i told you to stop doing that."

Web: "Sorry! Anyways where ya mad lads headed to? Said something about the museum? Mind if i tag along?"

Luci: "this was... more of a me and Art type of outing but-"

Art: "NUH UH! Not after you scared me like that!"

Web: "Awwww.."

Luci: "Do you even like museums?"

Web: "...eh, not really. i just wanted to go cuz you guys are going..."

Luci:

Art:

Web:

Luci: "yeah i agree with kid."

Web: "AWWWWWW!"

Art: "You can come with us the next time, promise!"

Luci: "i'm not making a promise i can't keep."

Web: "Alrighty, you two have fun! Do I need to cook dinner or ya'll going out to eat?"

Luci: "haven't decided yet."

Art: "i don't feel like eating out to be honest."

Web: "Aight then, see ya when you get home!"

Art: "bye!!"

Luci: "mhm whatever."

*Lucifer gets ready and they simply. Drive off idfk.*

*in the car*

Art: "do you think the marine section is finally up and running again? i miss it a lot."

Luci: "not sure. don't you want to see the dinosaurs too?"

Art: "i think its the other way around lu."

Luci: "can't we both enjoy the same topic? or is that not allowed?" *heaviest of the playful sarcasm*

Art: "you know what i meant!"

Luci: "So you're saying you don't like dinosaurs?"

Art: "no! i think you're just wanting to see the dinosaurs with me!"

Luci: "it's nice sharing hobbies, plus you always wander off."

Art: "i thought you didn't care if i wandered off?"

Luci:

Art: "no answer? really?"

Luci: "lets play a game. its called 'the quiet game', whoever doesn't say a word until we get to the museum loses. okay?"

Art: "Oh my god Lucifer-"

Luci: "Starting now."

Art: "Ughhgghh i don't want to play the quiet game!"

Luci: "Boo hoo you lose. Round two."

Art: *pouty face*

Luci: *grinning stupidly*

*Its been 32 minutes, and neither of them have said a word. They finally arrive at the Museum and pay for tickets*

Art: *goes to wander off*

Luci: *grabs him by the collar of his hoodie* "ah ah ah."

Art: "aCk- what?!"

Luci: "dinosaurs."

Art: "mann.. why do you get to boss me around?!"

Luci: "Number one, i'm bigger than you. Number two, i'm older than you."

Art: "...can't argue with that.. alright fine lets go."

*They go through the prehistoric section and admire the fossils and other displays and artifacts.*

Art: "Hey look theres you!" *points at a velociraptor display*

Luci: "Har har, very cute. There you are." *points at a compsognathus*

Art: "Rude! Whats your favorite one? Mines that one" *now he pointed at a liopleurodon*

Luci: "hmmm, tough one. gotta go with a spino though."

Art: "oooh nice."

*More time passes and they just, exist and look around. Unfortunately the Marine section isn't open yet.*

Art: "aw..."

Luci: "thats a shame. don't worry though, i'm sure it'll be open next time. wanna visit the gift shop and see if they have any shark stuff?"

Art: "ok.."

*Theres no aquatic merchandise in the gift shop either.*

Art: "...mmn."

Luci: "i'm sorry kiddo, i could have swore they had stuff the last time."

Art: "..." *hes quiet.*

Luci: "..you ok?"

Art: "...no."

Luci: "wanna go home and watch a movie instead?"

Art:

Art: "yeah..."

Luci: "alright. do you want a hug?"

Art: *he nodded*

Luci: "ok, come here."

*After they hugged they left the museum and went home, eating dinner and watching The Last Unicorn.*

Web: "So, how was the museum?"

Art: *hes still quiet and cuddled up with Luci*

Luci: "it was a bit disappointing."

Web: "How so?"

Luci: "Kid was hoping the Marine section would be open by now, it wasn't. Also got disappointed by the lack of stuff at the gift shop."

Web: "Aww, thats sad." *he went to pat Art on the shoulder*

Art: *it was subtle but he moved away from Webs hand, avoiding the comfort and getting closer to Luci*

Web: "..sorry."

Luci: "..."

- Puppet

// CUTIES 🩶🩶 Just two dinosaur autistics