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phillip & anne: *kiss*

w.d.: right in front of my salad

*At the mall*

Phil: Hey, I lost my friend Phineas. Can I make an announcement?

Employee: Of course!

Phil: *leans into mic* The circus is mine now, you little shit.

Rich Guy™: Please take off your hat when you’re inside.

Phineas: *takes off hat, revealing a slightly smaller hat*

Phineas: I can do this 14 more times.

Phil: On a scale of 1 to 10, how intimidating am I?

Anne: You’re the human equivalent of a baby duckling.

Phil: So like a four.

PT: Y’know, I’ve read fifteen books.

Charity: Fifty is not a lot.

Charity: Wait, you said fifteen?

PT:

PT: No.

Charity: Phineas, we need to have a chat about your professionalism.

Phineas: *standing on a table* Those are some mighty brave words for someone standing in lava.

*Record scratch*

*Freeze frame*

Phineas: Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

Phil: What if she kisses me?

Phineas: You kiss her back.

Phil: Oh, okay.

Phil:

Phil: But why her back though?

#incorrect tgs