#incorrectlanternquotes

[dailygreenlantern]

Kyle, holding a cauliflower: What is this?

John: A cauliflower?

Kyle, to Hal: Now tell him what you think this is.

Hal, crossing his arms: Ghost broccoli.

[jasonvtodd]

I was getting tired of listening to Kyle and Guy talk about their relationship.  But then I remembered that alcohol existed.  Thank you, alcohol. — John Stewart

[dailygreenlantern]

Kyle: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? I'm just excited to have a bunk bed!

Hal: I'm gonna tell him.

John: Don't you dare.

[dailygreenlantern]

Kyle: Does anyone else get happy when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Hal: Can't relate.

Guy: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

[dailygreenlantern]

Guy: Where’s my fucking ring?

John: Guy, there are kids around. Could you say it nicer?

Guy: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my fucking ring?

[dailygreenlantern]

hal: [mumbling in Latin]

guy: For the last time, I’m not a demon and you can’t exorcise me.

hal: [crossing off #5 on a list] Worth a shot.

[dailygreenlantern]

Jessica: A waiter could literally murder me and I’d still tip 20%.

Guy: I would tip more if I was murdered. That’s great customer service.

[dailygreenlantern]

Guy: I’m too tired to slap you.

Guy: bash your face against my palm, would ya, Hal?