aaah your blog has made me feel so much better about my gender identity. i've questioned my gender identity for a long time and i've come to the realization that i'm nonbinary and i want to act on it (buy more androgynous/male clothing, go by they/them pronouns, change my name) but i feel like i can't do that without coming out and i'm afraid i won't be taken seriously by my family, friends, coworkers, and boyfriend. how can i go about this, without them thinking this is a phase?
that’s very good to hear! i’m so happy you’re feeling better about yourself.
you don’t have to come out as genderqueer if you don’t want to. you can just start doing things you like and tell people you’re exploring yourself.
however, you might want to come out to people who are very close to you. just sit them down and first, explain what it means to be nonbinary. then tell them that you feel like that word represents you because _____.
it might be easier to do one thing at a time if you don’t want to come out. like, first start changing your appearance and go by the same name/pronouns as before around people who you think won’t receive your gender identity well. then change your name, then after that blows over, change your pronouns. but if you feel like that is moving too slow, you can just come out, which we have plenty of resources for.
there is no perfect script for coming out. it’s gonna be uncomfortable and it’s probably gonna be difficult for you and for the people who you’re talking to. but be confident, and be patient with them, and answer their questions the best you can. it might be the first time they’re learning about genderqueer people. remind them that you’re no different than you were before, you’re the exact same person, they’re just learning something new about you. good luck!