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Andra: *elbows her* What's the matter with you?! Inna came all this way, show a little respect.
Inna: Neleda seems quite distraught... Instead of separating the sisters, maybe both could-?
Ren: We've been over this. No.
Inna: *leans towards Rezar* How do you feel about coming with me to the Dantuzine hub? The way is dangerous.
Rezar: *defiantly* I'm not afraid of the Wastelands. *with a little less bravado* And I'm not afraid of the Dantuzine ghost either.
Inna: It's long gone, darling.
Review: The Bureaucratic Error by Iniga
Summary: After his death, Remus finds himself 5 years in the past, having undone Voldemort's defeat and Teddy's birth. He's going to need his old friend Sirius to help him with this one.
Drama/Friendship - Sirius B., Remus L., N. Tonks, 49 Chapters, Words: 210,082, Rated T
Read it on ff.net
Status: WIP (last updated Sep. 29, 2019)
Review: I find it hard to describe why, exactly, I liked this story so much. The story’s definitely not the first to take on the time travel fix-it genre, and certain plot elements are resolved too conveniently. Nevertheless, it was impossible for me not to get emotionally invested in the story and its characters.
Iniga has created marvellously nuanced characters, that are flawed and troubled and real. There are entire chapters focused on Sirius’ PTSD, developing Tonks’, and Harry’s thoughts. The Bureaucratic Error has a fascinating blend of family/friendship tensions, vivid flashbacks and tension from playing with time done right.
Generally speaking, the story seems to spend most of its time focusing on character/plot development chapters with a few action-heavy chapters that change the conventions of canon. I recognize that this may not be for everyone, but to me, the narrative structure of the story makes sense.
The narrative is primarily driven by adult characters who are dealing with their own psychological imbalances while attempting to change the flow of canon. Remus as the time-travelling figure is a premise that suggests difficulties since his character was not privy to the detail that Hermione or Ron would know. It’s also this fact that makes it all the more thrilling for the reader – because we are the only ones who know the sequence of events that Remus’ actions are unravelling.
Overall, The Bureaucratic Error is a story that started off well and is getting stronger as it diverges from canon. I can’t wait to see how the rest of the story unfolds.
Rating: 4 / 5
Dormund: I can't believe I'm not dreaming! This is the happiest day of my life!
Eviya: It was beautiful ceremony darling.
Eviya: But... I can't help but think of your sister. If only she was here to celebrate with us! It's already been three weeks and-
Dormund: Don't.
Eviya: Perhaps, as the new Starschin, you could ask lord Ren if he-
Dormund: Don't spoil this for me mom. It's my wedding. I don't want to hear a word about Kadja.
Marek: Yes it gets very cold in the wastelands. You shiver so hard your teeth make music! And your snot freezes right in your nose!
Carcic: *giggles* Grandma, uncle Marek said snot!
Neleda: Does our mom like the cold? Is that why she didn't want to come back?
Marek: Uh....
Inna: Marek! Can I speak with you?
Marek: *getting up* Sorry pups, duty calls. We'll continue the wasteland tales when I get back.
Carcic: Ooh, I want the one about the giant wolf again!
Andra: Carcic! My precious baby! Mommy's missed you so much!
Andra: We've been away too long, I swear the little monster's doubled in size!
Iniga: *laughs* Well he's certainly got quite the appetite!
Marek: What a feast! I've never seen so much food!
Iniga: I'll need to bring some back to Neleda and Rezar, with some of that pie...
Inna: *laughing* You both best be quick if you want some of that pork, when Ren and I get going, we can clear the whole plate faster that you can blink!
Iniga: Lord Marek... You wanted to see me? Is something wrong?
Marek: *clears his throat* Lady Iniga I wanted to talk to you about your daughter. I... I believe she shares my feelings, and I'd like to ask her to be the mother of my children. As the eldest of your clan, I wanted to ask for your blessing.
Iniga: My... my blessing? Maybe you should talk to Ren and Andra instead.
Marek: I'd like your blessing. If... uh... If you're willing to give it.
Iniga: Well of course! You're all Inna talks about! I just want her to be happy Marek.
Marek: That's all I want too. Thank you Iniga.
