hi! top 5 {or more ;-;} tips for newly discovered system? we're a suspected osdd-1b system [& low dissociative barriers.. kinda too low atm ghh] in p e r i l rn new alters everywhere, realllly could use some more specialised roles but none have solidified yet so it's just like *shows up and fronts* *gets steamrollered by anxiety* *has to switch out*, etc. etc.
'coping with trauma related dissociation is a fantastic one that we're working on' - our main issues so far seem to be 1. we just Don't Feel Safe *not* being dissociated so grounding exercises feel.. Bad or also 2. when grounded it's not possible to do allll of the inner work that's come up, esp bc they don't feel safe out here 😂😢
Hi, thanks for the ask! Here's my advice for your specific situation. If you have the book 'Coping with trauma-related dissociation' in hand, I recommend you flip to the chapter about developing a sense of inner safety (chapter 8, i believe). If you don't have the book, here's my summary of it and helpful tips in the chapter that might help:
- First, assess your current situation. How safe are you in your environment? Perhaps you're in a safe environment and you just don't *feel* safe, or perhaps you're not in a safe environment at all. Here are my tips for both scenarios:
If you are not safe in your current circumstances, it's going to be hard to do any inner work regarding dissociative alters, because their instinct that it's unsafe is actually correct in this scenario. Maybe you *do* need to dissociate during specific situations to protect yourself. However, one thing you can always work on is identifying environments where you are *safer* than others. Perhaps you feel safer in your room alone, or with a friend. If you have a therapist, talk to one about what steps you can take to make your circumstances safer.
If you *are* safe in your current circumstances, but you don't *feel* safe, then it would be good to work on your inner sense of safety. From Coping with trauma related dissociation:
"Inner safety is strongly related to being able to be present in the here and now, and in feeling secure in at least one or two trusting relationships with other people."
"If the concept of 'safety' seems too foreign to you, you may think instead of a pleasant and call place, a place where you feel understood and accepted, or perhaps a place where you are alone and know you will not be disturbed."
Whether you are in a safe circumstance or not, there are always going to be moments where you feel safer than others. Try to let yourself notice these moments where you feel safe and relaxed. In these moments, feel the tension in your body and try to release it.
When you are in a (relatively) safe environment, what can help is often creating an imaginary inner safe place. You can imagine one safe space for every part, or maybe specific spaces that are only for a certain part. They can be in nature, in a room, in a cave, or underwater — whatever works for you best! Pay attention to what your other parts are saying and wanting. If you are having trouble imagining a safe space, try drawing one out!
When you have an imaginary safe space to return to, you and other parts may be able return to those spaces when it is feeling unsafe in the external environment. As you work on developing a sense of safety, more and more parts will be able to feel safe more often.
If you need any general tips on navigating life as a newly discovered system, try out the Advice for New Systems page on my website, Plurality Resources! Here's the link: https://plurality-resources.neocities.org/advice
If you have any further questions about developing a sense of safety or questions about being a system in general, feel free to send another ask! I hope this is helpful to you!
Plurality resources for all
-bibi
