lessons i'm trying to live by
As a survivor of complex trauma, chronic pain & illness, and addiction... it's been a rough life. My experiences in life have built up a lot of fear and worry in me. every day, I try to counter that. It's a difficult process, and I'm no where near where i want to be.
But that's okay. People aren't perfect. We aren't solely defined by our flaws or struggles - nor by things outside our control. You're allowed to cherish your strengths, and beating yourself up for your weaknesses only prevents you from growing.
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It's okay to live a quiet life. There's nothing wrong with being someone who admires the little things in life. Take the time to smell all the roses you can. Being a deep thinker and sentimental are strengths - not something to feel shame over.
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A happy future is possible. Today is just one part of the puzzle. You won't complete the entire picture overnight. Just keep going. Do your best. And remember to rest. It's hard to feel content and safe if you deny yourself that.
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Today, you may feel troubled by something. It may feel like an impossible thing to overcome. But someday, maybe sooner than you think, you won't think about it at all. Instead, you'll be able to look back and admire how far you've come.
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It's good to do things just for yourself. Not everything you do has to be of value to other people. You matter too. When you do things you enjoy, you can always share them with other people - which can be very fulfilling, for yourself and the other person.
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It's not all your fault. If you're struggling within oppressive systems, any negative emotions or coping skills you've acquired make sense. If you're not readily given the support you need to thrive, it's unfair to expect yourself to carry the burden of all those problems.
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You don't have to be ready to "get better." If you're not ready, that doesn't mean you deserve any pain or hardship that comes your way. Maybe you're overwhelmed. Maybe you don't believe or even know there's a better way. That's not a failure, that's human.
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You can trust yourself. You can trust your wants and needs are what you say they are. You can trust that you know what's best for yourself. Or, at the very least, if you don't know what the "right" thing is, you can get there. You're capable of casting good judgement.
It's hard. But at least, writing them here brings me closer to understanding and accepting these things more fully. I hope this was able to help someone else, too. Self-compassion takes time, but we can do it. Moment by moment :)
