Dec 6, 2017
Innocent Robin #9
Padre always seems to target the Joker’s lower back and bottom in battle. Maybe he's finally found his weak spot! Show no mercy, padre!
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Innocent Robin #9
Padre always seems to target the Joker’s lower back and bottom in battle. Maybe he's finally found his weak spot! Show no mercy, padre!
Padre (Prompt #213)
(I’m sure i’m just annoying everyone with my shipping). This only exists thanks to the FANTASTIC @lego-batjokes-prompts, and their prompt (#213): “Mr. Joker! Please help me! My dad’s really hurt!”
Padre’s always told me to stay away from this place, Robin thinks to himself. The dark alleyway gives way to a ramshackle apartment building that looks a lot more daunting in real life than it sounds in his dad’s stories. But he has to carry on. He has to find the only person who can help him now.
Robin knocks on the wooden door, half-expecting it to tumble down, but to his surprise, it stays standing just fine, swung open a few moments later to reveal someone he’s not looking for, someone that he didn’t expect to find here.
Scarecrow.
The corrupted doctor bares his teeth in a frightening grin, although it’s nothing compared to the Joker’s signature smile.
“Oh, would you look at this! A new test subject!”
Robin gulps.
“I-I’m not one of your victims!” Robin tries to assert. “Sir,” he instinctively adds. Scarecrow grabs him by the scruff of his neck.
“Sure you are,” he sneers, pulling Robin off his feet and dragging him inside. He turns to close the door, and Robin uses this distraction to kick Scarecrow in the sensitive area, just as his dad once instructed him.
If only Padre could see me now, Robin thinks as Scarecrow yelps and releases him. The thought reminds him of why he’s here in the first place.
The young hero surveys his surroundings just as an angered Scarecrow lunges for him.
“Why, you little-” Scarecrow is cut off by a high-pitched squeal.
“Ooh, Mista J, you have got to see this!” Harley yells as she bounds down the stairs. Then, the Joker himself pokes his head around the corner.
“Hey, Scarecrow, get your hands off the Bat kid!” Joker shouts, and scarecrow reluctantly releases his new-found grip on Robin.
Having made his way across the hall, the green-haired criminal stalks over to him, then crouches down to Robin’s level.
“Kid, give me one reason why I shouldn’t just get rid of you now,” the Joker drawls. Robin’s eyes widen. He can’t die! He needs to complete his mission – urgently (also, he’s way too young to die).
“Mr. Joker! Please help me!” he tries, almost ignoring the Joker’s casual threat. The clown throws his head back and laughs.
“I tell you that I’m going to dispose of you, and you ask me for help?” the Joker chuckles lazily. “You’re either extremely determined or extremely stupid. But I gotta say, I’m curious. What is it?”
“My dad’s really hurt!” Robin exclaims, and the Joker blanches.
“B-Bats? Hurt?” Joker questions in disbelief. Robin nods, and Joker snaps his eyes to Robin’s face. “Well, where is he!? I’ve got to save him!” Robin smiles, before stuttering:
“Oh, he’s uh, in the Batmobile. It’s uh, crashed near Gotham Central park.” Joker mutters something, calculating it in his head.
“I can get there in five minutes!” he hollers, jumping to his feet and, pulling on his suit jacket, he strides to the front door.
“Harley, look after the kid. Treat him good.”
“But Mr-” Robin objects, only to be cut off by the clown.
“Kid, I’ve got a Bat to save. And some things to do afterwards, which I can’t do with you around – he’d never let me,” Joker says, winking, before disappearing out the doorway, and leaving Robin a little confused. Oh well.
“Say, Robin,” Harley asks, watching the empty doorway, “Why didn’t you just ask one of them superheroes?”
“They’re busy,” Robin says simply, before breaking into an innocent grin. “Plus, I wanted to give Mr Joker a chance with Padre. They make a really good team!” Harley giggles, and Scarecrow smiles a bit too.
“Now, that’s one smart kid.”
Innocent Robin #8
So, yesterday Mr. Joker told Padre he could park his Batmobile in his cave anytime. Since when does Mr. Joker has a cave? Does it have its own ‘Puter, too? And cool gadgets? I want to see it! - Submitted by Anonymous
Innocent Robin #5
Yesterday, out of nowhere, Mr. Joker gave Bat Dad some joke flowers but they didn't activate! HAHA! Evil won't win!
Innocent Robin #7
Mr. Joker keeps telling everyone that my dad is great in bed. Well, he’s able to get 8 hours worth of rest by sleeping only 3 hours, so I guess that’s pretty great?
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Submitted by Anonymous
Innocent Robin #6
Yesterday, Dad was handcuffing Mr. Joker. He kept telling him that he would destroy him and Joker said he couldn’t wait. I don’t undestand, was Joker trying to get padre angry. Or is he maybe going to try and escape again? We’re always ready to fight crime, MR. JOKER!!!
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Submitted by Anonymous
Innocent Robin #4
Dad didn’t tell me we had a Nintendo Wii. He seems to only use it when Joker comes over. I know they're playing with it without me and I even know that have Mario Kart 'cuz they keep screaming “go faster” and “I’m almost there.” I wonder if they have the new Smash Bros.
Submitted by Anonymous
Innocent Robin #3
“Bat Dad must have battled Joker without me because, now, he has a bunch of tiny bruises all over that he tries to hide. He must have lost or I don’t think he’d be so embarrassed.”