#inqueuebation

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[ 1st image: big fan of characters with abandonment + attachment issues so profound that they leave claw marks in everything they touch but would sooner gnaw of their own leg than admit they just want someone to stay for once. in a totally normal well adjusted and not at all projecting way of course. 2nd image: photo of dr. robby from the pitt on the roof of PTMC looking down]

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So on day shift we have… checks notes guy who is actively suicidal and lady with uncontrolled seizures and night shift we have… looks again guy who sucks at golf and guy who likes caffeine

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imagining dr al-hashimi after she calms down and she gets out of her car and takes the bus or subway downtown. she walks around taking in what’s around her. at one point she walks by bar and decides to step in. she finds santos and king singing their hearts out.

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I need someone to tell Al-Hashimi that her disability is not a personal failing. That her worth and value doesn’t come from her success, it’s already inherent. Her epilepsy is a part of her and (likely) always will be… and that’s not a bad thing. Does it suck? Yes. But it’s not a black mark on her as a person. Baran is kind, compassionate, empathetic, thoughtful, intelligent, and skilled. She’s a woman who suffers from deep internalized ableism and needs support from others, hopefully she gets that next season.

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i think baran al-hashimi and michael robinavitch are both insecure people. robby is insecure about being needed and in the ED he is needed so if he leaves then what happens then? he has nothing else but his work. al-hashimi is insecure because of her need to feel competent. she over compensates (to the annoyance of her new coworkers and other attending). the fact that her disability decided to flare up on the worst day possible really wrecks her confidence. they both are excellent physicians and good at their jobs yet they both have deeply seeded insecurities that contribute to their behaviors. according to an interview moafi says that baran has put so much of her identity into being a doctor and when that’s threatened she doesn’t know what else there is. i think because of her seizures she was underestimated and felt useless; a lot of disabled people in particular have feelings of being “useless” or “burdens”. if she can throw herself into a career she loves and can succeed she has proven her “worthiness” and that she’s not a burden. in a similar way to robby, without the ED there is no one.

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Thinking about this interview that Sepideh gave about Baran :(

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al hashimi is new to the pitt so she doesn’t really have any connections. she’s meeting everyone for the first time. and she is definitely in need of a friend — not friend to lover but a true blue platonic friend . some would suggest abbot but i bring you: Doctor John Shen.

think about it:

he’s chill as fuck

he has a disarming quality about him. it’d make it easier for baran to open up with him.

john would be non judgmental if baran told him about her seizures; a 180° reaction compared to robby’s. he’d be so nice about it too. like making sure baran is ok, just giving baran the space to tell as much or as little as she wants, getting her an uber or driving her home, and going out of his way to accommodate her — even without being asked.

he seems to respect her right away. remember he pushes back on robby’s judgmental comment about baran’s last name

he’s the least experienced ED attending and likely the youngest (guessing early 30s) so he could use a mentor.

they could swap stories about their upbringings in asian households

he’s witty, baran likes this

they like hanging outside of work; maybe he takes her out the local comedy club, she takes him to the theater

john teaches her a bit of chinese and she teaches him a little farsi

she introduces him to arabic coffee. he’s in love with it.