Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Ahsoka Series
Pairings: Shin Hati/ Sabine Wren, Shin Hati & Ahsoka Tano
Characters: Shin Hati, Sabine Wren, Ahsoka Tano, Grand Admiral Thrawn, The Nightmothers, Zombie Troopers, Great Mother Klothow, Great Mother Aktropaw, Great Mother Lakesis
Warnings: This one is straight up Torture, Blood and Violence, Major Character Injury, Hopelessness, Blood-loss, Delirium, There Will Be War Crimes, Mind-Alteration, Undead, Body Horror, sensory deprivation . Does it count as OOC if it’s a reaction to literal torture lmao?
Notes: For Whumptober Day 11
Prompt: “Captivity | “No one will find you.”
Word Count: 2,970
AO3 Link: Here!
Baylan’s last order had been to return to Thrawn and to take some place he had prepared for her, and even though she’d lost him and did not understand his reasoning any longer, they still knew that he would never lead her wrong…
Until she returned to the Chimera, and the… witches accused her of knowing more than she was willing to tell in her report, accusing her of leaving out some important, omnipotent detail that could alter their success in… whatever the krif they were doing.
The last thing Shin remembered was the feeling of ice in her veins and emerald flames licking at her skin.
When she woke… or… her mind slipped into consciousness? She couldn’t see, the darkness was unending, and the force was silent. Her armor was gone, with the feeling of claw marks tearing into her skin where the metal plating had once sat, as if each piece had been torn from her body by some otherworldly being.
There was a spark, a glimmer of something earthen in her peripherals. Her boots scraped against cold stone as she turned to face it; Heat arced where fire wrapped around her forearm, scorching into her skin as a cold metallic base secured itself into her flesh with thin barbs.
Shin did not cry out, and after her first knee-jerk reaction to yank her arm back, away from the nerve-igniting pain of the simmering inferno, the blonde forced herself to still. The green of the witch’s fire gave her light she could use to see, Baylan had taught her long ago to not allow her fear to cloud her judgment in a situation just like this, that stopping her emotions would be the key to survival in their journeys.
“Sometimes, to stay alive, you have to kill your mind.”
In the dim lighting and through the haze of pain, Shin was able to find details about the room she’d found herself in; They could stretch out fingertip to fingertip across each side of the room twice, with crumblings walls and a foul odor coming from a corner of the room. A corpse sat decaying in stormtrooper armor, bones broken and bent in odd angles, old scorch marks against plastoid in a similar pattern across his arm…
When the next metal cable ignited in magik ejected from the wall, Shin waited until the sound of the arcing metal got close enough, stepping closer to the restraint on her side and allowing the tool to crash into the stone, crumbling rock dropped to the floor as spools pulled the side back in.
“Clever,” Thrawn’s syrupy voice called from somewhere she could not identify, as if it were originating from the base of their skull, as the man’s presence filled every aspect of her life that the Force had once occupied; It was a trick, something those filthy witches must have set up; Thrawn was no god, he was a liar, an oathbreaker, a warlord, and a cheat.
“What have you done?” She called into the void, as the flames were doused over her arm, scorched blood rising to the surface around the cable as it was no longer burned away,
“Your Master, Lord Skoll, warned us of this. Your disloyalty,” Shin tugged on the cord, nose twitching as the pain was brought to the forefront of her mind. “That if anything were to happen to him, it would be your fault,”
Stone ground together painfully, they had to force their hands over their ears at the sound, feet scrambling to push back into the corner, body awkwardly positioned over the trooper’s corpse until their shoulder blades pressed into the cold of the wall.
Artificial light flooded the cell, which soon became overcrowded as the three extra witches flooded the room, staring into her soul with voidless black eyes. They had to force themselves to meet the gaze of the woman in the center, even though the sick, echoing whispers around her had every system in her body begging her to cower, that hiding in the decimated corpse of Thrawn’s trooper would be a better experience than this;
Baylan had known she didn’t like witches, had promised she would never have to deal with them again, and yet, all he’d done since Morgan had reached out to them was to find ways to explain their involvement, how sorry he was about the necessary evil they would have to endure together to reach an end goal he kept only to himself.
The hand on her shoulder was gentle, at first, until yellowed nails started pressing into the sinew of her shoulder, sinking past her flesh like she was made of nothing; “You are nothing,” The echoes around the great mother’s promised, as she was yanked away from her corner by a woman whose body should not have had that kind of strength.
“Your Master had too much faith in your abilities, Padawan,” The cool tendril of metal was wrapped around their arm manually, no flames to set her skin ablaze and to scorch failure on the surface. “You will learn the price of failure. Your actions have consequences.” The sickly woman reminded in her ear, Shin could see the flicker of a smile pulling at her lips, as she pulled genuine enjoyment from the fear pouring off of the Apprentice in waves.
“You failed in your mission, Mercenary,” Thrawn’s voice returned; Shin wanted to see him, wanted to both spit on his boots in her dislike of the man, and to beg for redemption, knowing that this was the life Baylan had worked so hard to create for her, while he went off on his own. “There is a price to be paid for letting Ezra Bridger and Sabine Wren live, for allowing Ahsoka Tano to land, and for losing my soldiers…” As she was forced back to the center of the room, they could picture the ugly twist of his lips, the way blue skin would crinkle around his eyes as his lips parted to speak once more. “No one will find you.”
Two witches pulled from the room, her arms were forced outwards to create a line parallel to the floor as the wires pulled taut. Their heart hammered in their chest as they desperately reached for Baylan in the force, reached for the promise of safety offered in the eyes of a predator, reaching for anything in the force that could help.
All she found were the raspy whispers and the swirling mist of majik as the Great Mother whispered into the growing void around her. Her shoulders were pulled to the brink as the whispers prickled at her skin like knives intent on peeling away her flesh layer by layer.
“Stop,” She pleaded to empty ears, her own voice fading from her reality as the ancient tongues forced translations past her eardrums in ear-splitting screams. “I will do better,” She begged to no avail. The promises of failure, of loneliness and abandonment, combined with the fears they’d hidden down so far since losing her parents to a shadow of green flame, gray skin, and black tattoos.
“You were predestined to fail your Master, you lived long past your use as a sentient being…. Perhaps, you may find some use in the afterlife,” There was a feeling of mocking pity from the woman before she turned, red satin cloak flashing over dusty stone as she swept from the room. The last thing Shin saw before darkness encroached once more was the steady drip of crimson from the cable in her right arm, splattering onto the old stains of rust embedded into the dirt below.
There was no way for Shin to know how much time had passed inside of the spire, metal cable long since pulling her shoulders from her sockets, screams had bled her throat dry ages ago, hunger pangs in her stomach at infrequent intervals and the metallic smell of infection festering in her arms were the only thing that forced her to realize consciousness was upon her.
There was no respite between the hours she found herself awake or asleep, words drilled into her skull like knives all hours of the day. Her eyes never did adjust to the lack of light, but she always felt like there was something moving around her. The force offered no strength, memories offered no fondness, and her training offered no knowledge. She was not meant to survive this, would be better suited as a corpse like the ‘friend’ behind her.
“What did you do to piss of Thrawn?” She asked her deceased companion dryly one night, long after the spire had shaken with rumbles of activity outside, after the world beyond the stone had fallen more silent than even before; without the haunting presence of the witches just on the other side.
“Grraaasgh,” A haunting voice replied with the sound of crinkling plastoid and the oozing sound of flesh separating from it’s confines. “Hrrnnguuuuuu!”
They tried to turn, to face the corpse that had behind her this whole time, but they could not force their weight to raise on locked knees, fear ignited in her bloodstream at the nauseating sound of a reanimated corpse dragging itself with squelching thuds.
Thick, warm fingers wrapped around her ankle, she could feel mottled flesh through the layer of grime, dirt, and general yuckiness that had clung to her own skin. The Trooper’s lurid rasps for air it’s lungs were too decomposed to need filled her ears, the first reprieve she’d had from the ache of the Great Mother’s voice, but a very unwelcome one.
White light pierced the wall across from her, a stream of plasma cutting away at the wall, a beam of a vivid pink joined feet away from the first, igniting the room in light that hurt, but she could not look away as the corpse crawled up her body; it’s legs were prone in the corner, still twitching as they tried to catch up to the rest of him. Dried up organs spilled from where his body had split, with wisps of majik keeping pieces of himself together. His jaw hung from the bottom of the helmet, part of Shin wanted to despise the way in which his breath smelled better than her own.
“Master, please,” She croaked in vain, one last time. Baylan had saved her once, twenty years ago when he’d saved a small child he owed nothing to, surely, she’d repaid her debts enough to ask one last time.
Nothing came, the pillars of light on the other side taunted her as nails tore at her own flesh, weak from dehydration and brittle from the cords that had applied a consistent pressure to her dislocated shoulders.
The trooper's hands clawed at her face, she forced her eyes to shut even as he pulled at her eyelids; Shin had always thought they would face the end with dignity, but this had been anything but, had been waning and pushing everything they had ever known… She could not face it, not like this; Because she was not Shin Hati, Apprentice of Baylan Skoll, she was nothing, a failed mercenary, and she was a coward, a coward who could not face the consequences of their actions.
There was a familiar smell of burning ozone and flesh, the hand at her face dropped to the floor with a wet thunk. “Get away from her!” Someone shouted, she could hear the sabers wooshing, but could not coax her eyes open. What a way to die, dream up some nameless savior to cope with the end. Would it be more painful, putting a name to the memory of purple hair and painted armor, knowing that she’d thought up a Mandalorian as her savior, over her own Master.
“Sabine,” A calmer, collected voice called, though Shin could not place it as her weight sagged uselessly into the metal that had kept her in place for so long.
“Shin,” Sabine’s voice was close, the hand that rested on her bicep had the blonde crying out in pain, a raspy whisper that brought blood to her lips as her body convulsed away from it. “Karabast, Ahsoka… what do we do?”
“Let me die,” Shin rasped, begging, at their mercy, eyes still shut, numb fingers clenching against the painful pull of muscle and cable. “Let me die,”
“I’m not doing that, di’kut,” The Mandalorian was close, too close, in space that had only been personal for so long. She could feel the displacement of air around her bared skin, like the Magik fire that had scorched itself in her soul.
“Her shoulders are out of place,” Sabine continued to her Master, following the wind of the cords to the points they’d dug into scrawny biceps, blood all but wielding metal to flesh.
“This isn’t going to be fun for any of us,” Ahsoka promised somberly, “Put gloves on, we can’t risk infection spreading,” The woman ordered, the smell of late cutting through the odor of corpse and rotting sentient. The material was cool when Ahsoka’s hand touched feverish skin, though it ignited a pain that had her trying to jerk back.
“Hold her still, no matter what she says, how she reacts; keep her as still as you can until she’s free,”
There was silence and a quiet rustling, before she felt the press of armor against her back, the feeling of Sabine’s knees working under her just enough to guide them back against her chest. “I’ve got you,” The Mandalorian grumbled in their ear, the first comforting promise they’d had in so long.
Any reprieve from the darkness offered by strong arms around her brittle frame died with the pain of barbs being worked from her skin. She reacted as if struck by lighting, Air was forced into reluctant lungs with gasps as she struggled with an inhuman amount of strength against the Mandalorian forcing her still as each barb was removed, hot blood welling to the surface as ehr only support for days was taken away.
Through the pain, she was aware of her begging, pathetic sounds not unlike the same promises she’d made to the witches, to Thrawn, the memory of her Master, and to the void that had swallowed her. “Please, please stop; I’ll be better I’ll do it right, I’m sorry, please stop. I’m sorry,” She rasped, begging the Togruta, the Mandalorian, and all who had ever held her life and wellbeing in their hands as the two Jedi did now. “Let me die, please; please. I have no more to give,” They wailed to sympathetic beings.
One of Sabine’s arms crossed her chest, while the other stayed pressed across her waist like a safety belt. The rebels had known war, had seen the effects it had on the survivors, the Inquisitors who’d been handled like Shin had. But the blonde still clung onto a purpose like a desperate child caught stealing; Even if they didn’t recognize it, it was their fingers wrapped around their life, around the vestiges of light that had been pushed through whatever the witches had done.
Shin’s body sagged forward, held up by the Mandalorian as their struggling core muscles refused to cooperate, exhausted from the constant strain of keeping herself up. “I’m going to put your shoulder back in place, Shin.” Ahsoka called from another planet away, placing steady hands against their trembling limbs.
There was a wet pop and another cry of pain as her shoulder was guided back into the socket. The force eased the transition, as if the Jedi had managed to use the power offered to help guide it into place just to spare the fallen apprentice some pain.
The process was agonizingly repeated to her other side, until both of her shoulders were back in place, and she was dropping entirely into Sabine’s arms, the aches fading under the gentle mintrations of the tap of Sabine’s finger against her breastbone, a beat too quick to be their own heart beat, but one she could feel through her back, even with the cool beskar separating them.
The Mandalorian’s chest rose and fell in an exaggerated motion as well, coercing Shin’s frayed body to follow her example in calm intakes of air and deep breaths out; Shin could not feel the force around her, but she could feel the pain ebbing away into something indescribable, like something that ran parallel to the cosmic power she’d once called home.
“Shin,” Ahsoka’s voice was soft but demanding. “It’s time to open your eyes,”
The command was gentle, though Shin could feel the urgency to her tone, a flicker of fear that had her Padawan stiffening under the prisoner.
It was hard to crack their eyes open, the light hurt so bad, it was too much, too overwhelming; a soft whine passed broken lips. Light pooled in from the cut away sections of wall, the spire had been destroyed, and Shin had been unlucky enough to remain in one of the final standing pillars of the structure.
The Togruta’s shoulders drooped in relief; Shin’s eyes, despite being windows to an unimaginable pain were not tainted by the dark side. There was still hope; and that was always enough. “You can rest now, Padawan,” Ahsoka soothed, the suggestion in the force light, though the woman had no barriers left to raise, their eyes blinking closed slowly, head lolling back against Sabine as they succumbed readily to the offer for rest.
“Thank you, master.” They whispered as consciousness finally released its hold on her.
“Thank the gotal’ad her Howler found us when he did,” Sabine grumbled, nose twitching at last, the smell of the isolated cell hitting her enough to have her shifting uncomfortably under Shin. “We’ll be able to get her back okay?”
request: if it's still open, may i request some fluffy smut with tsumu? 🥺 maybe makeup sex or just something with body worship/praise...but it could be something else entirely, depending on what you feel like writing bc i'd probably love your work regardless 👉👈
a/n: this ended up as more of a hurt/comfort bit cause i got carried with the idea of makeup sex sooo. i hope you'll like it!! ♡ no beta
cw/tw: hurt/comfort, light angst, mentions of relationship insecurity, smut, body worship, nipple play, oral (f receiving)
wording: 1.4k
It wasn’t often that you’d fight with Atsumu. Yes, you’d bicker - you both loved to joke that bickering was your love language, but you couldn’t remember the last time you fought. Until today.
It was a fleeting comment, something about one of his teammate’s girlfriends, how she is always waiting for him after practice. You couldn’t even remember who it was now, not that it mattered. It just was one of the things you were insecure about lately - how little time you got to spend together with Atsumu due to your increasingly busy schedules. So you took the comment to heart, saw it as a ‘Why don’t you do that for me anymore?
You got heated and you both said some things you didn’t mean. You told him that if he cared, he’d try to make more time for you, that he was inconsiderate and he called you insecure. You were upset and wouldn’t talk to him so he left. He was already late for practice.
At work, you could barely focus on your tasks. Your mind kept drifting back to the fight that morning, everything that was said on replay in your head. And at around 3 pm, just as you concluded that maybe both of you overreacted, you saw a notification lit your screen ‘I’m cooking your favorite tonight - can you buy some wine?’ Before you could reply, another one popped up ‘I think we should talk.’
Time passed too slow, and you couldn’t help glancing at the clock, your thoughts fixed on Atsumu, wondering what he would say. Was he disappointed in you? Did he think you were immature - too insecure for someone like him? What was it he wanted to discuss? Your overthinking served no purpose, but it wasn’t easy to stop. If it was easy, you would’ve already done it. So when the clock finally hit 5 pm, you took your things and rushed to the door, a hurried ‘See you tomorrow’ thrown at your coworkers. To the liquor store and then home.
And you’d get your answers, you’ll get to see Atsumu. Somehow it felt like a couple of days had passed since that morning and you missed him - you had to make things right.
As soon as you entered the apartment the smell of food flooded your nostrils - your favorite - just as he promised. He didn't notice you, too busy preparing a mix of condiments and you found yourself watching him work, a fond smile on your face as you leaned against the kitchen door. There’s no doubt left in your mind - you loved him and you had to make things work. No other option would be good.
“It smells delicious, ‘tsumu,” your voice cracked as you spoke, filled with emotion and unspoken feelings. His eyes widened when he turned and caught sight of your soft smile, a loving, but wary look in your eyes as you placed the wine bottle on the counter. “I brought the wine, the same one as last time.”
“Thank you, babe. Can you set the table? Dinner’s almost done.”
You nodded, sighing with relief when you were out of his sight - Atsumu didn’t seem mad.
Dinner was almost as it usually was, the two of you chatting and sharing about your day, Atsumu cracking jokes and you responding in kind. But there was a lingering feeling - a hesitation of sorts from both of you. As if you weren’t sure where the boundaries lied now, an elephant in the room. You realized that you took the comfortable feeling between the two of you, the intimacy, the lack of a need to walk on eggshells around each other - for granted.
It made you look at him with brand new eyes.
“‘tsumu, I-,” you started to talk, your eyes fixed on your nearly empty plate, but he interrupted you before you could finish your sentence.
“I’m sorry for this morning. I didn’t really think through what I was saying, and I didn’t even realize how much you went out of your way to be there for me. Showing up at my games, planning dates, and even waiting for me after practice.” Your gaze darted to him. He wasn’t looking at you, a slight flush blooming on his face as he spoke, his words careful and deliberate. “And then when you started working longer hours, I still expected you to do all these things. That was selfish. I was selfish.”
There was a sad lilt to his voice and you could see the sincerity in his eyes when he rose them to meet yours.
“It’s not only your fault - I lashed out at you and blew it out of proportion instead of asking you what you meant. I was just… frustrated. There have been quite a few compromises on my side and to hear you ask for more felt invalidating.”
Atsumu sat up, only to drop on his knees, head on your chest as he hugged your waist “I should’ve realized it sooner, I’m sorry.” The warmth of his embrace seeped through your clothes, enveloping you in the most comfortable way - intimacy. You thought then that if true love existed, it would be this. “I love you, (y/n).”
That’s what you had and it wasn’t something either of you was willing to lose.
“I love you too, ‘tsumu... Let’s stay like this for a bit, I missed you.”
He spoke after a couple of minutes, but he still didn’t let go of you “Do you want to cuddle?” It wasn’t always easy for him to be honest with his feelings, there was always a bit of underlying embarrassment to vulnerability for Atsumu. But to preserve this feeling he had, his love, and you, he would do anything.
“Yeah,” you agreed with a smile, and he picked you up in his strong arms, carrying you to the bedroom, dinner long forgotten on the table as he gently placed you on the bed. He pulled you taut to his chest, planting kisses on your head and burying his nose in your hair, taking in your scent.
Home. Love.
You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you felt his fingers barely brushing your side, trailing down. Lifting your shirt slightly, you felt his skin on yours, and a different kind of heat rose through your core to your limbs. You dug your fingertips in his arm, the pleasant sensation making you crave more, wanting him closer, goosebumps springing from your skin.
He slotted a leg between your thighs, spreading them and in a flash, you were on your back, his lips on yours as he brushed the hair out of your face. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered between kisses as he tried to catch his breath. “So perfect.”
And his lips were on your jawline, and your neck, your collarbone, littering kisses as he worked open the buttons of your shirt, only to continue down. His hands caressing your waist and your stomach, falling to your thighs as he took a nipple in his mouth. You whimpered and moaned your fingers moving from his hair to lightly scratch the skin of his shoulders.
“It feels so good,” your voice came out as a whine as he sucked on the sensitive nub and you felt your back arch, your core rubbing on him with the movement - only serving to pool more liquid at your folds. “More, please, ‘tsumu,” you pleaded between moans as his hand reached between your bodies to pull the zipper of your jeans and tugged them down “I need you.”
“Be patient, baby. Today is all about you, I promise.”
His mouth trailed further down, pressing kisses to each inch of exposed skin, torturously slow. There was no rush to his love-making. And when he licked a wet stripe between your folds, you could barely hold your body down. Atsumu took his time, sucking and nibbling gently on your clit, poking at your entrance with his tongue, twisting and flattening it as you writhed in pleasure.
“Cum- I’m gonna cum,” you cried when you felt the first waves of your climax hit you. He didn’t stop, only slowed down further as your thighs wrapped around his head. And when he felt your hold ease as you came down from your high, his mouth was on your thighs, planting even more kisses down your legs.
“I swear you’re the most beautiful thing I ever laid my eyes on,” he confessed, mesmerized by the gracious way your body moved with rapture. “I’m so lucky to have you.”
TIME: April 4th, 2023
PLACE: Warren & Maya’s place
BETWEEN: Maya ( @msmayaparker ) & Warren
NOTES: Written on Discord. Several TWs (check tags)
Title from here
Warren wasn't even sure what had possessed him to stop the car by the alley behind the hotel but when he did he heard them. He frowned as he got out of the car and walked closer to where the garbage containers were, and he heard it cleared. Kittens.
He had no problem with animals, but animals usually had a problem with him, so he only nudged the shoes box with his foot when the kittens meowed again. More desperately this time and something in his chest twisted. With a heavy sigh he leaned to uncover the box only to find two little felines. One orange with stripes and the other white with a soft brown muzzle. He reached to touch them and the orange one didn't hesitate to hiss and throw its little claws at him making him chuckle, "little firecracker! Stop that," he said with a smile only to get another attempt to rip his finger off, "yeah that's not gonna work," he rolled his eyes and closed the box again, picking it up and getting back in the car, "guess we're going back home," he told the fiery kittens as he started the car and drive back to the house. They could deal without him for a day.
As soon as he got home, he realized Maya was at work already, so he moved the new tenants to the bathroom while he changed and ordered some stuff online for them, "watch over this door for me ok buddy?" He asked Hermes when he noticed the dog's curiosity as he paced outside the bathroom door.
Work went by quickly. Now that she remembered what she was doing. Her boss had hinted again that maybe she should try going back to school. To her that seemed like nothing more than an idle fantasy. Maya was not the kind of person who went back to school. She walked up the drive to her and Warren's home. It was a beautiful spring day, perfect for walking.
Opening the door, she was surprised that Hermes didn't come to greet her. The Bernese-Rottie was usually waiting for her by the front door. Warren, she assumed was at work. After dropping her denim jacket on one of the kitchen chairs, Maya opened the cabinet, looking for a glass and thinking about what to make for dinner. Hearing a noise, her head turned to it immediately. "Hello?" she called. She grabbed the chef's knife. Just in case.
As soon as the kittens food, litter, litter boxes and toys arrived, he changed and settled everything in the bathroom for the kittens but then he noticed the fleas and that called for immediate action. He wasn't counting on how hard it was to give a cat a bath but that was not a mistake he was gonna make again any time soon. He cursed in Germany as he tried to keep the white kitten from clawing to his arm when he heard Maya’s voice. Was it so late that she was already home? He hadn't noticed time flying by while he dealt with the tiny devil spawns.
He settled a bunch of towels on the floor for the balls of fur to finish getting dry and then left the bathroom but that only caused Hermes to start barking again cause now he stunk of wet cat, "calm down, buddy!" He petted the dog before walking to the stairs, "it's me," he called from the stairs, so Maya knew he was home, and he was glad he did when he made it to the kitchen and noticed her with the knife in hand. He chuckled and raised both hands in surrender. His t-shirt was yet and dirty and there were a few fresh scratches down his arms and one right on his neck, "I got home early," he explained, "next time you better grab the angelic one," he teased as he moved closer, "I got you something," he grinned wondering what Maya would say about the idea of more pets.
Her grip on the knife tightened when she heard Hermes barking. Although, it did, ironically, make her feel a little calmer. At least Hermes was still okay enough to bark. Warren's voice coming down the stairs made her frown in confusion though. Hermes had long since stopped barking at Hermes. They were buds now. Or at least she had thought they were. Maya was still holding the knife when he entered the kitchen. Not so much on purpose as she hadn't thought to put it down. "Hi honey," she said, setting the knife down as she realized she was holding it.
"Is it a fight with a blackberry bramble?" she asked as Warren moved closer. The scratches on his arms and neck didn't escape her notice. Nor did the fact that his shirt was wetter and dirtier than she would expect it to be from work. The scratches looked superficial and the damage to his shirt was minimal. Still, it was confusing. Maya leaned up to kiss him in greeting, still curious as to what he was up to.
He smiled like an idiot when she called him that and moved closer to her, "I love it when you call me that," he admitted and then chuckled at her question, "not exactly," he rubbed the back of his neck before placing both hands on Maya's waist and lean down to kiss her back, "we have some guests in our main bathroom," he murmured against her lips, a kitten reluctant to pull away, "I was on my way to work when I found something and got back home," he explained as he tangled their hands together to guide her upstairs.
"Maybe I should've asked first but I couldn't leave them there," he added as they got to their bedroom, "how do you feel about cats?" He asked sure that she could already hear them meow across the door.
Maya blushed slightly. She didn't think of herself as the kind of person who used pet names. It had come naturally though, she made a mental note to do it more often. As she always did, she fell into his embrace like gravity. "In the bathroom?" she asked, confused. Still, she followed him upstairs.
As they approached the bathroom, she spotted Hermes. He was pacing, seemingly nervous. "Hey buddy," she said, scratching him behind his ears, "You and Warren up to something?" Faintly, Maya could hear what sounded like cats. "I like cats," she said. Some of the foster families had cats and usually she got along with them best of the family. As they moved into the bedroom, she thought she had an idea of what had happened and what she would find on the other side of the bathroom door.
Opening it, she indeed found stray cats. Stray kittens in fact. "Hi sweeties," she said softly, immediately recognizing something of herself in the abandoned creatures.
Warren nodded when she asked if the guest were in the bathroom, “I thought it was the safest place to put them in the meantime,” he said with a shrug and a sheepish smile.
He chuckled when Hermes huffed but moved closer to Maya for attention, “I’m not sure he’s happy with the idea of siblings,” he said a little amused. He was glad to see Maya’s positive reaction, “They’re clean now, but I’m not sure they’re happy,” he closed the door carefully and leaned against it, giving Maya to approach the little kittens, “they were in a box behind the hotel… covered in fleas and starving so I thought maybe we could give them a temporary home while we figure out what to do with them,” he said still uncertain of what she would say. He would be more than ok with the idea of keeping them, but he didn’t know what she’d prefer, “unless you want us to keep them?”
She was only mostly listening now that she saw exactly what was going on. The rest of her attention was carefully focused on the kittens. She moved forward slowly, giving them plenty of time to show signs of displeasure. When they didn't, Maya knelt beside the pile of towels. They meowed up at her. "Big guy took you to a strange place, huh?" she said as if she could understand them. It was natural as breathing for her. Hermes joined them, sniffing carefully around the new creatures. She looked up at Warren when he offered that they keep them. Her green eyes scanned over his expression, looking for what was underneath it. "Do you want to keep them?" she asked.
Warren pouted when the kittens seemed to be complaining about him to Maya, “Hey, I was careful, you’re the ones who attacked me,” he said in a soft tone, smiling when Hermes got closer to Maya and the little kittens. His expression shifted from tenderness to worry when she asked if he wanted to keep them, “Uhm… I like animals, they just don’t like me,” he sighed. “It took Hermes a little to feel safe around me. I know it’s their instinct to stay away from me, so I don’t wanna make it hard for them to have to be near me,” he shrugged. The only animals who had ever wanted to be with him were the ones his prophetic horse took upon. Like Thor.
After letting them sniff her hand, Maya scratched the orange kitten behind their ears. "They're in a strange place," she said when Warren argued that the kittens were who had attacked him. She saw the worry in his expression and frowned slightly. It wasn't exactly an answer to her question. She thought he meant yes. It sounded like he might mean yes. But it wasn't quite a yes. "Yeah, but Hermes got used to it," she replied, "Plus you saved them. They'll remember that. So do you want to keep them?" She had no issue with keeping them. They seemed sweet. That and she was never one to give up an abandoned creature. She wanted to know if he was sure though.
Warren smiled and moved closer when Maya scratched the orange’s cat ear, “I know but it’s better here than there,” he sighed in hesitation about reaching to try to touch them. He didn’t want to upset them further. “Yeah, I know… I just don’t wanna make it hard on them,” he admitted. It was hard for him to simply say yes because he wasn’t one to force anyone to be near him if they didn’t want to be. Even with Hermes, he had given him space and let the pup decide if he liked him or not, “I do but… what if they don’t like it here,” he crossed his arms over his chest cause he actually meant that they might not like him cause they seemed pretty content around Maya and Hermes.
The kittens turned to watch him approach. From what Maya could tell they remained mostly calm. One of them meowed again, trying to demand attention. She adjusted how she was sitting. The orange kitten slowly started to explore her lap. Hermes flopped down on the bathroom tile next to Warren. By now he was perfectly comfortable. "It's a big house," she replied, "Someone's gotta fill it." She added a shrug.
It looked like Maya had that same calming effect on the kittens as she had on him. He sat next to Maya watching carefully as the cats explored and sniffed her lap. His smile faltered at her words. Suddenly remembering that dream he had never told her about cause she was right, it was a big house and it was just the two of them. No matter how much he’d like to give her a real and bigger family if she decided she wanted that kind of life he knew it was the only thing he could never give her, “Yeah, you’re right,” he sighed and tried to smile again and moved his hand closer to let the kittens sniff him, hopping they wouldn’t run away again, “should we take them to the vet?” he asked unsure what they needed to do since he had never adopted a pet before. Not a real one.
Maya caught the falter of his smile and frowned. As she did, she continued to pet the kitten in her arms. "What is it?" she asked. The mostly white kitten was far more cautious as Warren moved closer. Her gaze fell to watch the kitten move glacially closer. As far as his question though, she nodded. "Oh for sure, especially if you found them in an alley," she said. She then asked, "Was there a mama around somewhere?"
Warren chook his head and tried to keep on smiling, “It’s nothing, I was just realizing it a big house,” he said with a shrug. “Ok, maybe we should get them there tomorrow. I don’t think they’ll like more strangers around too soon,” he tried to touch the white kitten and it only ran to hid behind Maya, “No, no mama and no other kittens, it was just them in that box,” he pulled his hand away, “should we keep them here in the bathroom or should we get one of those pens for cats?” he asked wondering where would be the best place for them to get used to the house and to Hermes.
It was Maya's turn to shake her head. "It's not nothing," she replied, "Not if its bothering you." She had not gotten into the size of the house much with him. That was a thing rich people did, she thought, buy big houses. She had never imagined herself buying a house, so she had no idea what size of house she might've bought. She liked the house he had bought, or maybe more so she liked the home they had created here.
She nodded, "Tomorrow is probably a good idea." As the other kitten ran behind her, Maya's green eyes tracked the movement. The kittens would warm up to him. Like Hermes had and honestly even like she had, they would warm up to him. The question was how long it would take. "Probably not the bathroom," she replied, "But a dedicated space would probably be a good idea. Maybe somewhere with windows."
"It's not bothering me, it's just that maybe I hadn't considered it actually was a big house just for the two of us," he sighed. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth. "I've had big places before, but I wasn't around much to notice," when he bought the house he hadn't really thought much about the size.
Warren smiled, "ok, I'll call to see how early they can see us and maybe we can put them in my studio. I'll order the pen and we can settle them there with everything they might need," he suggested offering his hand for Maya to take.
Her eyes searched him for a long moment in silence. There was something he wasn't telling her. Between her own hypervigilance and the long hours, she had spent studying him, she knew that much. She also knew that pressing the issue rarely made things better. "There's something you're not telling me," she said, "But I'm going to pretend I don't know that." When he was ready to tell her she would be around, but until then she wouldn't hold it against him.
"Studio sounds good," Maya said. She was glad they had settled on taking the kittens in. She would never admit it, but her heart did have soft spots. Maybe they were bruises, but she was happy to indulge it anyway. Taking his hand, she stood. The orange kitten stayed cradled on her arm while the other pawed at her leg. Hermes had taken to sniffing the towels, sussing out these newcomers.
Warren smiled a bit and leaned in to kiss her temple, " thanks... we'll talk about it another time," he promised knowing it was not the best time. He hadn't even voiced his desire to marry her cause he wasn't sure how she'd feel about it.
He was unsure about picking up the other kitten but stopped himself, "I think they like you better so maybe you should bring them while I set everything on the studio for them.
"Okay," Maya said, nodding. She titled her head slightly forward, letting him kiss her forehead. She worried, of course. Secrets, or maybe just not understanding had gotten her in trouble before. But she had to trust Warren. He would tell her in his own time. Knowing that, even believing it didn't stop some part of her brain from starting to offer its own solutions.
Giving him her best smile, she picked up the other kitten. "I always did get along better with animals than people," she said. Setting the white and brown kitten on her shoulders, she let them explore the new territory. The orange kitten had already fallen asleep on her arm. Maya let Warren lead the way. She knew where his studio was, but she wanted to give him a chance to get anything out before they let the kittens explore.
He was glad she didn’t push on the matter and let it rest. Deep down he was glad to see she trusted him enough not to frown and she didn’t seem to be overthinking it. One day he’d tell her about that dream he kept replaying in his head, wishing one day it could come true even if he knew it was impossible.
“That says a lot about that good heart of yours. They just know when someone is good or not,” he said with a small smile. It was a cute view to see Maya carrying both kittens and how calmed they seemed around her. He didn’t move a lot of things out of the studio but instead he settled the litter boxes and the small beds there and not too far he set the plates half filled with kitten food and the water bowls, “I think it’s big enough for them right?” he asked unsure if maybe it was too big or if the might have a lot of places to hide from them. He really needed to get that pen as soon as possible.
Maya laughed and shook her head. "I think it says more about my issues with authority," she replied, "The pets never asked questions." She didn't think it made her a good person that the pets liked her more than the people. It was easy to get a pet to like you.
Once it was ready, she settled the kittens in the studio. The orange kitten woke back up and started to explore with its fellow. She nodded, "I think it’s big enough." It was sweet the way he worried. She knew that he thought of himself as a monster. Moments like this proved to her it wasn't true though. Still, she knew better than to push too hard at convincing him of it. Her gaze travelled the room, now looking at it with an eye towards safety. Soon enough, she imagined they would probably have the run of the house. Maya watched the kittens explore. "We should probably keep them inside though," she said, "Otherwise they'll ruin the local ecosystem."
He nodded as he kept on watching the cats explore the space with their big curious eyes, “is there something we have to remove so they don’t hurt themselves?” he really didn’t want them to get hurt because they hadn’t been careful enough, especially because he didn’t want Maya to feel bad if something happened to them.
“Oh yeah, they definitively are gonna be indoor cats,” he smiled and offered his hand to her so he could bring her closer to him and wrap his arms around her, “maybe when they get a bit bigger, we can build them a catio so they can be outside without being a risk for themselves and others,” he suggested.
Maya surveyed the room again. Shaking her head, she said, "I don't think so." She certainly hoped not. Cats could be clever, but they were also well equipped to survive. At the very least, there wasn't anything that was an obvious danger.
She let him pull her close, relaxing into the warmth of his embrace. She tried not to think about how long she had denied them both this. If Maya had only moved in when he had first mentioned it. She had moved in now though. A smile curled her lips when he talked about building a catio for them. Laughing softly, she said, "I think you're getting ahead of yourself honey. You haven't even named them."
He tried to relax when Maya said there wasn't anything that looked dangerous to the kittens, "ok, that's good then, we'll still keep on checking on them," he said with a shrug cause he really never had the chance to take care of a pet let alone one as young as the kittens.
It came naturally the way Maya just came close and lean into his embrace and it made him wonder how he had survived centuries without her. He hadn't felt this content with his existences in a very long time and the mere thought of it not lasting enough made him tighten his hold on her. His heart fluttered when she called him honey, "well yeah but it'll be a nice project right? and I think you should name them, we already know I'm terrible with names," he said playfully cause even his sibling had made fun of him for choosing his current name being so obvious to who he really was.
She nodded, "Good idea." Half idly she thought of what he had said once about her not having to worry about pregnancy with him. He had wanted kids then. She wondered if that was still something he wanted. She wondered if it was something she wanted.
As his arms tightened around her middle, Maya relaxed further into him. She nodded again, "It sounds like a lovely project." It really did. Especially if it meant she got to watch him play hot handyman. She was handy with a tool herself. Officer Baer had made sure of that. Scrunching up her nose, she shook her head when Warren suggested that she name them. "I like your name," she replied, "Besides, you found them, you should name them. And if anyone makes fun of your choice, I'll beat them up." She tilted her head to look up at him, stealing a kiss on the underside of his jaw as she did so.
"We can start looking for ideas online," he suggested since he had a very vague idea of how they could build that catio. Warren chuckled, you're a bit biased," he joked and then hummed when she said he had found them and therefore he should name them, "ok, I'll think of some nice names but I'm open to suggestions," he added and then grinned, "my hero," he added cause it wasn't the first time she had promised violence on his behalf.
"Are you going to make a vision board?" she teased a little. Her smile widened when he accused her of being biased. "I think we've also agreed I'm the smart one," she replied. Maya was happy he agreed to name them. She still worried that his life revolved too much around her. He had work, she supposed, but outside of that. Her green eyes retuned to the kittens. One of them was nibbling at the food he had bought while the other was still exploring.
For a long moment, she was content to watch them. By now, Hermes had joined them and already seemed to be trying to guide the more curious kitten from climbing onto the desk. Whatever reservations he might've had seemed to have lessened. "Do you still want kids?" she asked, voice soft and free of judgement. She knew it was dangerous to ask directly. It wouldn't surprise her if he deflected the question back to her. But she hoped he would answer honestly. It was an important thing to know if they were building a life together.
Warren chuckled but shrugged, “Maybe, if it helps I might, haven’t you seen my Pinterest boards?” he joked knowing that the idea of someone like him having Pinterest would make Maya laugh. “That is very true, you’re definitively the better half,” he assured. It was nice to see Hermes guiding the kittens around making soft huffs to let them know where to go, “He’s gonna be a great big brother,” he hummed.
This was definitively what happiness was about. His smile faltered when he heard Maya’s question and he knew she would notice every emotion that went through his face from surprise, to sadness, to regret and disappointment. The one thing in the world he could never give her and it made him wonder if maybe one day that was gonna be what it takes to break what they have, “Uhm… it doesn’t matter if I want to, sugar,” he sighed, “there is no way for me to have my own kids, but if you want us to start a family, we can always adopt as many kids as you want,” he offered with a small smile.
"There are Pinterest boards?" she replied with fake shock. She gave him a smile when he claimed that she was the better half. Rather than try to argue, she kissed him softly. It was easy to pretend that she was the smarter one or the better one, but in her heart, she didn't believe it. It was nice that he thought so though. Turning her attention back to Hermes and the kittens, Maya watched them. She nodded her agreement. "He is," she said.
She could see him out of the corner of her eye when she asked. It hadn't been an easy question she knew. But it was an important one. She waited patiently for him to answer. When it did come, it made her equal parts sad and angry. Clearly, having his own children was still something he wanted. She wondered if with the advancements in science and likely magic it was still impossible. "I'm sorry. That doesn't seem very fair," she said. She sighed, "I've never really thought seriously about it. We always talked about adopting each other after we aged out, but no one would've ever allowed that. And there were a few scares over the years, but I don't think I would be a very good mom."
“Tons of them!” he grinned, “where do you think I get all this amazing outfit ideas?” he joked. He had noticed how Maya usually kissed him instead of starting an argument of something she didn’t agree on or wanted to accept about how he saw her, but he was definitively not gonna complain about it. It was already a great step forward that she wasn’t openly denying it. Maybe one day she would believe it. “They’re gonna drive him crazy,” he chuckled when he saw one of the kittens start following Hermes around.
Warren shook his head, “Hey, don’t be, it’s ok that you ask,” he assured, “and it’s not your fault that I can’t give that to you,” he shrugged, “but I don’t want that to make you feel like it’s something you can’t have,” he swallowed hard, “if you ever wanted to have kids, like I said, we can adopt them and if you wanted them to be yours, we’ll find a donor,” he squeezed her hand, “just because I can’t give you kids doesn’t mean you have to deny yourself from that experience, Maya,” he said seriously. If they considered it, they could just be another couple with fertility problems, there were tons around the world and Warren certainly had the money to afford whatever they needed for Maya to get pregnant even if it wasn’t his. He smiled and shook his head, “you’d be a wonderful mom. I’ve seen you with the kids at the library and at the park with Hermes. You’re good with kids.” He sighed, “remember that thing I didn’t tell you earlier?” he asked moving to sit on the couch and pull Maya to his lap, “I had a dream a few weeks ago,” he started with a sad smile, “I don’t dream often so I knew it was a dream… we were here and I was coming come home from work and you looked just stunning,” he sighed, “you were pregnant and you looked so damn happy. The happies I’ve ever seen you,” he caressed her cheek, “maybe it was just me projecting but if you ever feel like you want that… to experience that, to have kids, don’t let me be the reason that stops you, Maya. I wouldn’t want you to.”
She listened as he spoke and for the first time seriously considered if she wanted kids. She had wanted to help the other kids in the group home. Warren she could easily imagine as a father. He would be a good father. It was harder for her to imagine herself as a mother. She shook her head when he offered to find a donor. "I wouldn't want to have anyone else's kids," she said. If they had kids of their own, she would want them to be his too. As far as if she would be a good mother, she was less convinced. "Maybe, I'm still pretty fucked up," she replied, "I wouldn't want to pass any of my own shit onto a kid."
She let him pull her into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and getting comfortable. His dream didn't bring a smile to her face. It hurt to see how much it hurt him that he couldn't have kids of his own. "Like I said, I've never really thought seriously about it," she said, "It's something married people do, and I didn't think anyone would ever want to keep me like that." It was her turn to smile sadly. She didn't know if that was something he wanted either.
Warren had the feeling that she would say something like that about the baby being someone else’s but his, “I know but it’s a way to do it. A lot of people do it when they can’t have kids on their own,” he added just in case, “but if it’s not something you want then we won’t,” he assured. “Well, we’re all a little fucked up...” he said cause he was the living proof of it, “but because we are we also know what we want for someone else. Less alone a kid,” he smiled, “you don’t see it often, sugar, but you’re caring, loving, patient and a good person overall, all that already makes you more than qualified to be a good mom. You wouldn’t let anything bad happen to your kids. You would do anything to make them happy as your parents surely did for you,” he knew it was bittersweet, but he imagined that was the best way to describe it. He didn’t know what it was like to have parents, but he imagined it must be an even more unconditional love than the one he felt for Maya.
He was confused when she said she hadn’t actually thought about it seriously, “Why did you ask me then?” he was curious now of what would have made her bring up the subject. “Ok we’ll have to go one step at the time,” he smiled a bit, “I do want to keep you forever so let me propose first, then you say yes, then we get married, and we cross that other bridge when the times comes uhm?” he tried to make her smile cause he knew this subject had definitively made them both sadder than happier, “just promise me one thing yeah? If you ever want to have kids, please, please, tell me. I’ve made my peace with that a long time ago, but you don’t have to because of me, ok?”
Families came in all shapes and sizes. She knew that better than most. Although, she had never been adopted, it was something she had desperately wanted at one point in her life. It would've been a real family. "I just..." she sighed, "I don't know, I don't hate the idea of a little you running around. A little me sounds terrifying. And science is way different now than it was then." Maya chewed her bottom lip as he insisted that she would be a good mom. It was hard for her to believe him, although she was closer now than she ever had been. The idea of being responsible for a child still scared her. She would hate for the hurt she still carried to hurt a child. It was bad enough that she knew it hurt the people she cared about.
She shrugged, "I was just watching you with the kittens. And I don't know, the future seems possible now, so we should talk about it." Surprise bloomed on her face when he said it so simply. Sure, she had considered it, but only as a passing fantasy. A castle in the clouds. "You want to marry me?" she asked, "I thought you just said that to shut my grandparents up." She swallowed. "I wouldn't make a very good wife," she said like she was sure of it, like it was a fact. When he asked for her promise, she nodded, "I promise." She did like the idea of adopting or fostering at least. She understood what it was like and that could help. It would've helped her.
Warren smiled cause It was a lovely idea that they could have a little version of each of them. He laughed when she said a little her was terrifying, “I think I could handle a little you,” he said fondly. She was right, science was different, but he had the feeling that God’s design for his kind would be changed, “I guess we’ll research more when and if the time comes,” it was nice to hold some hope to add more happiness to their lives.
He reached to put a strand of hair behind her ear, “the future is possible, and I think we do have a lot to talk about and lot more to share,” he grinned, “Of course I do! I never say something I don’t mean, sugar,” he reminded her and then frowned, “you’re an amazing partner, what makes you think a change of title might change that?” he asked. He relaxed when she promised him, “then we’ll revisit this topic in a few years I hope?”
She smiled, "You handle the big me pretty well." When he suggested researching it if the time comes, Maya nodded. "Okay, that sounds good," she said.
She nodded again, smiling. She liked the idea of having a future with him. It was tinged with warmth, but the surprise didn't disappear from her face. She still didn't think of herself as someone anyone wanted to marry. She was Maya Parker, hot mess express. "I, um..." she swallowed. Walden's voice echoed in her head. "You just deserve the best wife, who takes care of you and makes you crazy happy. And I mean...I can barely take care of myself. A dress still fucks me up." Her gaze fell from his face. "I just want to make you happy," she added, feeling a little pathetic. She nodded, "yeah, we'll revisit it."
“I know that’s why I’m certain,” he winked. Just the idea of a little girl with Maya’s eyes pouting at him was enough to put a big smile on his face. Maybe one day.
He frowned when he heard her cause those words didn’t sound as much as her own but the ones someone else had implanted in her head, “No, in this household, we take care of each other and ourselves and we’ve done a pretty good job doing that,” he assured, “can’t you see how happy you already make me?” he asked tilting her face up so she could see all the love and devotion in his eyes, “we’re gonna have some bad days too, but it’s part of it, sugar. We both have issues we can’t overcome yet, but we will, together,” he pressed their foreheads together, “now, do you know what would make me even happier?” he asked playfully.
She smiled. He would be a good father. She was still sure of that. The question for her was if she would be a good mother. Of that she was much less certain.
She sighed. It was backsliding she knew. She was backsliding again. Maya nodded, tightening her arms around his neck when he reminded her, they had promised to take care of each other. Letting him tilt her face up, she tried to smile. He looked happy. "I love you. I'm sorry," she said softly with her forehead pressed to his. "Is it talking about something else?" she asked.
“I love you too,” he grinned and pecked her lips, “don’t apologize anymore, it’s ok,” he assured against her lips. He chuckled and scrunched up his nose, “nope, to get rid of these stinky clothes and have a shower cause those two were nasty when I gave them a bath,” he chuckled, “how about you join me and then we order something, and we decide kitten names together?” he suggested pulling away enough to look at her. He was amazed how even the hardest topics felt natural to discuss with her. How even if they both hurt by their past and uncertainty of their future, they also found a way to heal each other. If that wasn’t love, then Warren didn’t know what it was, but he was decided to hold on to it.
It didn't seem so heavy or so dark when he kissed her. Instead, she felt safe and warm. At his suggestion, she nodded, "That does sound nicer." She got up, stretching and giving Hermes a scratch behind the ears. "I thought about it you know. When I decided to try wearing dresses again, I thought that maybe if we ever got married, I'd want to wear a dress to that," she admitted as they made their way towards their bathroom.
“I have good ideas sometimes,” he winked. He tilted his head when she said she had considered the idea of wearing a dress for their wedding. The smile on his face was more about the fact that she had considered marry him one day than the idea of the dress, “technically just said you want to marry me,” he grinned as he squeezed her hand, “and if you ever want to try again to wear a dress before we get married, maybe I can help. I don’t know, maybe if I’m there, reminding you that you’re safe with me and it’s just us, it might be less complicated?” he suggested.
"I never claimed I didn't," she replied, smiling back. It was not the life she would've ever imagined for herself. But all her fears around marriage had to do with her own inadequacies, had to do with if she would make a good wife. She had no doubts he would be the best husband she could ask for.
Maya looked down at their hands. Bringing her gaze back up to his, she sighed. "It still scares me," she said, "The idea of anyone seeing me messed up like that." She stopped in the bathroom. "Maybe you're right though, maybe it would be easier."
“I know but you’ve never said out loud before either,” he probably looked like an idiot with the big smile on his face right then, but he didn’t care, “I’m feeling tempted to propose right now but I just really wanna do that right,” he chuckled.
Warren nodded, “I can imagine it does and I guess it’s normal to be scared,” he pulled her a little closer before getting to the bathroom, “it has worked before, right? To have me there to remind you you’re not alone,” he hoped that having him close would keep Maya’s demons away.
She chewed her bottom lip, unable to keep from grinning. "There's still a lot we would have to talk about. Finances, whatever else people talk about," she said.
She let him pull her closer. It was like he had a gravity she was always falling in to. She nodded, having him close always did help. "I don't know if it will help this time though. Everything with Walden, he always wanted me to try them on for him, tell him I loved them. I know how I get, confusing the past and the present. I don't want to hurt you," she said. She rested her forehead against his chest. "Shower, food, kitten naming," she said, standing up straight.
He hummed pretending to consider it, “ok, fine, I’ll wait a bit longer,” he whined playfully even if mentally he had already started to think about the best way to propose.
It was hard for Warren not to tense up when that name came up. He might have destroyed the scumbag but the wounds he had left on Maya would always be there and he hated he couldn’t do more to heal them. He rubbed her back, “you won’t hurt me, I’ll just be there if you want me to, to bring you back when those horrible memories come for you,” he promised. “Yes, that’s the plan, and the sooner get to it, the better,” he kissed her forehead before finally making it to the bathroom.
"We should talk about those things," she replied, "They're important."
It felt like she was already hurting him, like the fact she wasn't healing as fast as she thought she should be. "It’s worth a try," she said. It was at least a try. Maya nodded. "Suppose we should get you undressed then," she said, starting to unbutton his shirt.
“I know, I think we’ll do ok cause we’ve come far from that first talk when we became exclusive,” he grinned remembering how that was their first big talk after the jealousy mess, “if we keep talking about those things, we’ll be more than fine,” he assured.
Warren nodded, “it is and even if goes wrong somehow, we’ll move forward,” he promised. He chuckled and nodded, “we definitively should,” he let her undo his shirt and he helped off her clothes. It was a kind of intimacy Warren had almost forgotten about. It wasn’t about sex and that didn’t mean he didn’t want Maya all the time, but it was different, it was not just lust for her body as it had been the very first time. He didn’t rush removing her clothes. He took his time caressing her soft skin and dropping kisses here and there while he looked at her with all the love she made him feel, “should we make it quick and take a shower or do you wanna take a bath?” he asked pressing a kiss on her lips.
"We don't even know if I can have kids," she added, "I haven't exactly treated my body very kindly." She sighed before smiling. They would be okay. Even if there were things they still needed to talk about, they'd had plenty of difficult conversations before. "Yeah, we're gonna be great," Maya said. She went up on her tiptoes to kiss him quickly.
Some of the tension left her shoulders. They would find a way forward. Even if it was slower than she wanted, she was healing. She would heal from this. Maya nodded, "yeah, okay."
As he undressed her, she did her best to stay still. She had never been good at staying still. It was easier these days. The soft material of her clothes slipped away from her imperfect skin. She felt vulnerable under his gaze, seen in a way she was never quite used to. "We should probably make it quick, so we can check on the kittens," she said as she moved to remove the rest of his clothing. Once they were both naked, her hands traced idle patterns on his arms. "Although, maybe not too quick," she added.
“That’s true but when we decide if we do want kids, we can see someone about and if for some reason we can’t have our own, then we’ll find a way, how about that? We shouldn’t be torturing ourselves with that now. Especially if we’re not even sure we want kids,” he smiled a bit cause he was aware she had said she hadn’t given a real thought to the idea, and he was more than aware of her fears of not being fit to be a mom. Warren was glad she agreed that they would be great cause he truly believed that.
He almost groaned in complain but he remembered the new kittens would need their attention more often than not these first days, “ok, fine, just for the kittens,” he pouted. He smiled when she corrected that maybe they could take some time, “I like how you think,” he turned on the shower and waited for the water to be in the temperature Maye liked before pulling her with him under the spray, “can you believe that we’ve been together for almost a year?” he asked with a big smile.
"Yeah, yeah," she nodded before shaking her head, "I just got caught up in giving it thought. We don't have to decide now." He still wanted kids, she thought, even if he claimed to have made peace with the fact he couldn't have kids of his own. She didn't want to deny him the chance to be a father simply because she was afraid.
She tried to kiss away his pout after saying, "You're the one who decided to rescue them." As if she would've made a different choice. Maya smiled up at him when he said he liked the way she thought. As he tested the water, she took a moment to admire him. He was so handsome. She let out a giggle when he pulled her into the water. Surprise colored her expression again when he commented on how long they had been together. "I suppose that depends on when we start counting," she replied, "It's over a year since the first time that we had sex." She picked up his shampoo, squirting out enough to wash his hair into her hands.
“We have all the time of the world,” he promised cause in a way it was true for him even if she probably would argue about her mortality.
The kiss helped and he sighed, “I just couldn’t leave them. You would be disappointed of me if I had,” he said even tho his real motives had been his own. Ones that probably Maya had already influenced on. He could feel her eyes on him, and he only grinned cause he liked knowing she liked what she saw. He chuckled and leaned down a little when she picked his shampoo, “well that’s true but I meant since we became exclusive,” he added as he let her wash his hair, closing his eyes and enjoying her caring touch.
"I'll go through menopause, eventually," she replied. There was no sorrow in her voice when she said it. For so long, she had not thought she would grow old. It was a gift to imagine it now. She smiled up at him, "But that's not for a long while."
She laughed softly. "I think you would have been disappointed in you in you had," she replied. Sure, Maya wouldn't have liked to hear that he left kittens in an alley. She knew he worried that he was a monster, that in the past he had been something terrible and frightening. But that was not the man she had ever met. Even the night he had killed Walden, she wouldn't classify as monstrous, not when that man had been a monster himself. It was easy, natural the way he leaned down, so she could wash his hair. It was a kind of intimacy she had never dared wish for. He was right; they took care of each other. She bid him stand to wash out the shampoo, so she could put in conditioner. "We should do something," she said, "Go away for the weekend. I have some money saved up." He had far more money than her. They both knew that. But she wanted to treat him. Especially given the last two holidays had been less than stellar because of her.
That was something Warren hadn’t actually considered until she mentioned it, “well yeah but we still have a while for that,” he agreed cause she probably had noticed how she was still too young to think about it.
Warren hummed, “maybe a little bit,” he accepted. He stood up straight to rinse his hair and after she finished conditioning it, he returned the favor, washing her hair carefully of not tangle it. He grinned at her suggestion, “We should,” he didn’t comment on her savings part cause he was not gonna let her pay for everything, “where would you like to go?” he asked curious of what she might have in mind.
She let him stand to wash the product from his hair. "Good thing you brought them home then," she replied, smiling softly. Maya turned to allow him to wash her long blonde hair in return. He wasn't quite surprisingly good at it. She'd long stopped being surprised at his skills. "I kind of like the idea of a little cabin somewhere, just the two of us. Maybe over in Acadia National Park," she said as bubbles slid from her hair down her skin. "Hiking, campfires..." the corner of her mouth lifted in a smile, "Sex obviously." She turned around, "But you have to let me treat you. Since Christmas was all fucked up and I didn't do very well on Valentine's."
“It’s because of you, that I’m learning to be better,” he said simply cause in part it was true. Maya made him want to be better to deserve her. Once he was sure her hair was clean of product he reached for the loofah and their body wash to start soaping her arms and shoulders, “That actually sounds great. The kind of break we need,” he chuckled when she cleared out the sex part, “it all sounds perfect,” he leaned down do peck her lips, “I think you already know I’m not gonna let you pay for all of it, right?” he scrunched up his nose, “how about I pay for the place and you play for everything else… you can pick it so it’s a surprise for me. How does it sound?” he offered, “oh stop that, you did fantastic on Valentine’s… one of my fondest memories,” he grinned.
She leaned up to kiss him before briefly pressing their foreheads together. "I love you," she whispered. Half reluctantly, she pulled away to let him clean her skin. "I think it'd be nice," she said, leaning back against him, "Quiet." She tilted her head up, allowing him to kiss her quickly. Almost mirroring him, Maya scrunched her nose when he told her that he wouldn't let her pay for everything. "I don't have to pay rent anymore, I have money," she replied, pouting. As far as Valentine's Day, she sighed. "I didn't plan anything special. I want to plan something special for you," she said. She rested her hand on his wet chest. A voice in her head whispered that the issue was what she could afford wasn't good enough for him. She tried not to let that voice convince her of anything.
“And I love you,” he assured with a happy sigh, sure that he would never get tired to hear her say those words. “We definitively need some peace and quiet,” he said and then smiled and shook his head when she pouted and pressed on her valid point, “ok, fine, I’ll cave in this time,” he sighed still smiling knowing that it would make her happy to have the chance to do something for him. He arched a brow, “oh really? I remember you had a really nice plan when I got home,” he smirked putting the loofah away and instead use his soaped hands to trace Over her wet curves, “that was more than special,” he assured pulling her in for a deep kiss.
She nodded her agreement. Peace and quiet was certainly in order. They should enjoy it while they had the chance given they didn't know how long it would be until something else in Hollow's Creek blew up. She gave him a grin when he agreed with her. "Thank you, baby," she said, "I'll make sure it's great."
She shivered as his hands replaced the loofah. She smiled, "I mean, I seem to remember suggesting keeping you cock all nice and warm in your office and you had to improvise a little." Her face flushed with arousal as she remembered the events of Valentine's Day. Looping her arms around his neck, she kissed him back. Her body pressed as close as possible to his.
“How can I say no when you smile like that when I say yes?” he asked with a fake annoyance he would never be able to feel when it came to Maya. He was sure whatever her plan for that trip was, it was gonna be something for them both to cherish.
Warren hummed pleased at the way she reacted to his almost innocent touch, “even with the improvisation it all worked out fantastically, didn’t it?” he asked easily picking her up after she kissed him and pressed closer to him, “it was your idea and you certainly made that day one to be remembered,” he before kissing her again.
"You can't," she replied cheekily.
"Yeah, it did," she agreed, nodding. His skin, like the water, was warm against hers. She squeaked a little in surprise when he picked her up. Her arms tightened around his neck, anchoring herself better to him. She smiled against his mouth about to say something else when he kissed her again. Whatever she was going to say was stolen from her lips. When she had to pull away to believe, Maya was smiling. "You're still dirty," she argued halfheartedly.
He huffed pretending to be offended even if there was a pleased gleam in his eyes, “You’re right, I can’t,” he admitted with a dumb smile.
Warren could easily get lost in her like this, just having her close, kissing her, seeing her happy and relaxed around him. Everything was worth it for moments like this with her, “I know…” he sighed against her lips and reluctantly lowered her back to her feet, “wanna help me with that?” he asked with his best puppy eyes.
Maya couldn't help but pout a little as he lowered her back to her feet. It was comfortable being in his arms. And there were much happier endings to showering together than getting clean. There were kittens to check in on though and she was starting to actually feel hungry. Now, she had responsibilities. It was almost funny how much happier she was now that she had responsibilities than when she'd had none. "Yeah," she replied, picking up his body wash. She washed him carefully, massaging his muscles as he went. It was easy, taking care of him in a way she was never able to take care of herself. When she was done, she smiled, "There, all clean."
Warren chuckled at the little pout, she was too adorable, “I’ll make it up to you later tonight,” he promised, closing his eyes and enjoying the soft touch of her hands as she helped him clean up. As much as he wanted to get distracted, he knew they both would probably be worrying about the kittens. Besides, it was already late, and Maya was probably hungry even if she wouldn’t say it. “Thank you, sugar,” he smiled and pulled her closer again for a soft kiss, sighing against her lips and reluctantly turning off the water, getting ready to get out, “is there something in special you’d like to eat?” he asked reaching for one of the robes and helping Maya put it on.
"I'll hold you to that," she replied with a cheeky smile.
She kissed him back. "Any time," she promised. He turned off the water, leaving them dripping onto the tile. Maya let him slip her into a black silk robe. Running her fingers through her hair, she shrugged, "Whatever's fine." She started to braid her hair. "My boss asked if I'd thought about going back to school again," she said. She had mentioned it the first time, framing is as the ridiculous idea she thought it was.
Warren only grinned nodding happily at the prospect of their night.
He put on his own robe and grabbed another towel to dry his hair as he listened. He couldn’t help to smile at the idea, but he wasn’t sure how she’d feel about it since she still sounded unsure, “That sounds like a nice idea. What do you think? Would you like to?” he asked knowing that she could do it and he’d support her. It wasn’t like she needed to work if she decided to go back to school. He hadn’t said anything about her working cause he knew it made her happy to do something she liked and to earn her own money, but he would happily support her if she ever decided to go back and pursue a career of her liking.
Maya laughed. "It’s ridiculous," she replied, "I barely graduated from high school. I'm not smart enough to go to university." She started walking back towards where the kittens were hopefully safe and fed. "It’s the only way to get a promotion," she shrugged, "But, like I said, I'd flunk out of university in the first week and I don't really need a promotion." It'd be nice to have a little more responsibility, but it wasn't possible. She might think more generously of herself now, but that didn't mean she was book smart.
Warren frowned a little and moved to follow her, still drying his hair, “You are plenty smart, Maya,” he assured and then hesitated a little before voicing what he was thinking, “I think maybe school was hard for you back in the day cause you had a lot to worry about,” he said in a neutral tone. He had noticed how having a secure life changed a lot how kids developed in school, and he was sure Maya’s situation had affected how she perceived herself as a student, “I think you’d do well now tho, if you wanted to give it a try,” he smiled a bit cause he knew this was about her feeling self-sufficient and confident with herself. He was aware she didn’t care much about money or a promotion but more about being useful, do things right, do something she enjoyed. “You know that if you wanted to give it a try, I’d support you, right?” he asked to make sure, wondering if maybe he should share that he hadn’t actually gone to school.
"I'm street smart or whatever, sure," she conceded as he hesitated, "But that doesn't help with school." She made a face, clearly not enthused to have to agree with him. She'd had a lot to worry about at the time. She sighed. "I know I'm not stupid. I'd be dead if I was stupid, but that doesn't make college smart," Maya said. She paused, turning to face him properly when he asked if she knew that he would support her. She answered earnestly, "Yeah, yeah, of course." He would support her, whatever she wanted to do. Hell, he'd half started a business for her in the beginning. "I'd just be embarrassing myself though. School was rough and I..." she shook her head, seemingly less confident in her conviction that it was ridiculous, "It's not like any school would let me in."
“You’re smart as a whole, sugar,” he pressed a little because he knew her. He knew that beautiful mind of her and it broke his heart that she doubted herself so much. When she turned around to look at him, he moved closer and took her hand, tangling their fingers together, “it might not count as much and you’re probably gonna say I’m biased, but I believe that you’re more than smart for anything that you want to do. Anything,” he smiled, “I know you could do it. I know you can do anything you put your mind and heart into and if you ever want to try, I’ll be there for you. I’m not school smart. I’ve never been at school myself. I don’t know how that works on my own experience, but I would do anything I could to help if you want to give it a try,” he assured, “and I don’t think you’d have to worry about schools letting you in. You love proving people wrong and I’m sure you’d prove them that they’re stupid if they don’t admit you,” he pulled her a little closer, “Anything you need, I can provide it, Maya, anything and I would do it gladly, but the most important thing here is that you want it. If you want to, forget about the rest and go for it. I’ll be there for you every step and I’ll be proud every moment of it because you choose to do something because you want it,” he said a little more serious, “don’t worry about what the world would think, just focus on what would make you feel happy, and whole and proud of yourself.”
Maya looked up at him as he insisted on her intelligence, expression open and trusting. It was different. He was always different than her past. It wasn't always derision and dismissal. But she was used to the people who cared about offering caution, trying to help her avoid disappointment. They had been looking out for her the best they could. Encouraging her to dream modestly when they knew she was unlikely to accept help. In response, she had made her dreams small. She imagined for herself only the things she knew that she could achieve.
Warren had never dreamt small on her behalf. When he said that he would do anything he could to help her, Maya believed him. It made the thought of accepting his help easier. She let him pull her closer, unable to help the tears the blurred her vision. Everything he had given her was already beyond the wildest dreams she had allowed herself. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him the way she always did when mere words were not enough to express the depth of her love for him. When she pulled away, she rested her forehead against his. Softly she said, "You rescued me too, you know." Arms still around his neck, she lowered herself to standing rather that up on tip toe. "I'll think about it, okay? And actually, think about it, not say I'm going to think about it when I've already made up my mind."
The look on Maya’s face made his expression soften. Some of his words might had hit home and made her remember that all he wanted for her was to be happy ding whatever she wanted to do. He wrapped his arms around her waist and accepted the kiss, sighing against her lips when they pulled apart cause he had learned she tended to kiss him like that when words escaped her. When it was too much, and she didn’t know what to say. He smiled at her words, “I think we rescued each other, sugar,” he said cause Maya probably had no idea the way she had saved him from himself more than once. Warren pecked her lips once more and nodded, “ok, take your time, Maya, there’s no rush at all,” he promised caressing her back, “so kittens and food?” he sighed letting her go reluctantly.
"I don't remember you needing rescuing," she replied softly. She had needed rescuing, more than once. He had always arrived though, like her personal knight. Still, she was content to kiss him again quickly before nodding her agreement. She would think about it. Maybe she would talk to her boss about what exactly that might look like.
Her pink lips curved in a half smile when he sighed as he let her go. "Kittens and food," Maya agreed, "Then you making good on your promise." She resumed her walk towards his office. "Is there anything in particular you want to eat?" she asked.
He chuckled a bit, “Oh but I did… I could’ve lost myself so many times, but you brought me back,” he said simply, “you probably don’t even know the exact times, but you have saved me more than once, sugar,” he explained.
Warren nodded when she agreed and reached for her hands as they made their way to the studio to make sure the kittens were fine. He hummed and squeezed Maya’s hand, “Yes, ma’am,” he grinned knowing that he was definitively keeping his word on making it up to her later. “I don’t know, we haven’t ordered pizza in a while? Pizza and wine sounds good?” he asked as he opened the studio’s door and letting her in first.
It didn't make her happy exactly to hear that she had saved him too. It did make her feel a little less guilty for all the times he'd had to rescue her. She could remember how he was after killing Walden, how she had managed to bring him back then. "We rescued each other then," she agreed
Maya let him take her hand, sliding her fingers through his. She flashed him a sly grin at his quick yes ma'am. "I like pizza and wine," she agreed. Stepping into the office, Maya found the kittens and Hermes as they had left them, safe and sound. She smiled. "I could be talked into a movie too, if you wanted to talk me into one," she added.
“We did,” he agreed glad that she accepted she was good for him as he hoped he was for her.
Warren hummed, “Then pizza and wine will be,” he nodded and relaxed even more when he found the kittens happily snuggled against Hermes, “I think they officially adopted him as the big brother,” he chuckled. He arched a brow, “Ok, sounds good, we’ll have an impromptu date night,” he smirked knowing that they probably wouldn’t even finish watching the movie and he was very ok with that. Life was good with her, and he was decided to make the best of it for as long as he could.
I'm sad and avoiding writing so it's time to make a character suffer
That character being Indiana
(Tw for image issues and insecurities)
Don't think of Indiana having covered up his mirrors cause he just can't stand looking at himself.
Don't think of him constantly telling others how they look is perfect cause he doesn't ever want them to feel like him.
Or him thinking he's a fucking hypocrite cause he can't practice what he preaches. He tells people to love themselves as they are but he can barely look at himself.
Don't think of him one day trying to overcome this, and deciding just looking in the mirror and trying to see the good was a great idea.
It backfires.
He ends up just quietly crying and picking apart his flaws. He doesn't ask for help. He can't. He doesn't want to be a burden .
sometimes , like , writing as side characters and ocs give me legitimate ... like worry about rping with the main characters. like , it’s easier with people who write izu because it’s like , well i’ve got yama & inko. that’s a canon friendship and familialship ... but like to reach out to like ... o*chak*os or ba*kug*ous or tod*orok*is or like ... even the teachers like dkfndjg it can be a bit Fearful because i’m like , are they even interested ??
📢 ( Stan ) compliments ( Cordelia ) on an insecurity if theirs.
Old Meme Cleanout || Accepting New Ones
Having always been a bit insecure about her chin and sort of fox like features it was nice to hear the compliment. "That is very kind of you thank you." It wasn't something she often spoke about, her insecurities. She had bigger worries than how she looked.
I sometimes think I'll always be the friend, never the boyfriend. I don't think my dad loves me, or likes me really... I kind of think everyone prefers my brother to me. The only person who makes me feel like I am good on my own merit is kind of Bellamy... although I don't know if she'll ever see me as a man and not a boy.
🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don’t want to show other people?
Any type of insecurity. Whether this be in her appearance, actions or feelings. She has built such an image of herself that she doesn't like to feel weak and she believes that by showing insecurities it shows weakness. So she is very careful who she shows them too or who she opens up to.
