#insert clever que here

[snapsparkwoosh]

sneaking

[Ed and Al sneaking through the window]

Roy, turning around in his chair and flicking the light on: You want to tell me where you’ve been all night?

Ed: We-we were with Hughes.

Hughes, turning in his chair: You wanna try that again?

[snapsparkwoosh]

listen

Roy: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Roy: Not you, Alphonse. You’re an angel, and we’re thrilled that you’re here.

[snapsparkwoosh]

soda

Roy and Riza: *staring into each other’s eyes*

Ed: [opens a soda]

Roy: We’re having a moment.

Ed: And I’m having a soda.

[snapsparkwoosh]

apples

Riza: Colonel, you think every round fruit is an apple.

Roy: No, I don’t.

Riza: [holds up some cherries] what are these?

Roy: Tiny apples.

Riza: [points to pumpkins] and what are those?

Roy: Halloween apples.

[snapsparkwoosh]

brakes

Riza, teaching Ed to drive: OK, you’re driving and Lieutenant Havoc and Colonel Mustang walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Ed: Definitely Mustang.

Riza, massaging her temples: The brakes, Ed. You hit the brakes.

[snapsparkwoosh]

contact

Roy: I’m Edward Elric’s emergency contact.

Nurse: So you’re here to pick him up?

Roy: I’m here to remove myself as his emergency contact.

[snapsparkwoosh]

disappointed

Roy: Look, let's just agree to say "I'm sorry" on the count of three. One. Two. Three.

Roy:

Ed:

Roy: Now, see, I'm just disappointed in both of us.

[snapsparkwoosh]

monster

Ed: There’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

Roy, from the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.