I’ve always wanted to be loved deeply but never felt worthy or even capable. I feel like all my life I’ve always been subconsciously looking for other humans to connect with because I feel so shut out from the world, at the same time struggling to because getting out there and socializing sounds crippling to me unless I’ve had a few and I don’t want to rely on substance to help me cope with social anxiety.
I’ve never felt apart of or important enough. No security in my surroundings so I find it in these fantasies I imagine in my head.
I always wonder if I’ll ever have the courage to chase these dreams and accomplish these goals. I question many things behind that....
Will I ever meet other individuals or even a individual who sees me for who I really am and love me unconditionally? Will I be strong enough to live a long life? Will this prison I’m in ever release me? Where do I start? Or should it just end? Constant bickering in my head on what to do that it makes me paralyzed. I can’t see any light but I have some hope that it’s there.
