June 25, 2009
I hid in the jello tree and as the glowing hamburgers passed by, their whale song began to echo. I gonna buy a CASE of this cold medicine. @Zaius13 (Damn Dirty Ape) – 97
I guess this is just another one of my little quirks but I HATE it when Mom tries to high-five me while we're watching gay porn. @fireland (Joshua Allen) – 93
I need to talk my wife into letting me take naked pictures of her. Otherwise I won't be able to explain these naked pictures of her. @InSoOutSo (insooutso) – 86
Never give your penis an imposing name like "Mjölnir" or "The Butcher of Kiev". Lowered expectations are your friend. I suggest "Murray". @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 85
RIP Farrah Fawcett Obituary News Coverage @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 71
HEY GUYS! I JUST HAD FREE SUSHI! HIGH FIVES! Don't leave me hanging, guys! Geez. Somebody die or something? Jerks. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 68
My thoughts and prayers are with Michael Jackson's family, monkey, and Elephant Man skeleton. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 67
Twitter is an extremely powerful medium for communicating the death of celebrities. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 67
I am stunned. I lived in a mid-sized, majority white town when Thriller broke. Didn't get called nigger for that whole year. Thanks, Mike. @SeoulBrother (SeoulBrother) – 65
Getting my car inspected. Enjoying the short lines, free donuts, cappuccino and wi-fi. Chatting with the friendly personnel. Ha-ha. No. @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 63
CNN has just reported that, according to Twitter, Micheal Jackson is dead. @Mike_FTW (Mike Monteiro) – 61
Breaking News: Michael Jackson taken to children's hospital. @thedayhascome (Josh Hopkins) – 60
Not sure whether to turn my avatar black or white. @abigvictory (Michele Catalano) – 60
Would my hippie dress be more acceptable to you if I told you I caught and skinned the hippie myself? @MsHiss (Hissy) – 60
RIP Michael Jordan. @gruber (John Gruber) – 57
Judging by the tone of this restraining order, I'm starting to think you don't appreciate the flowers I've been sending to your wife. @thedayhascome (Josh Hopkins) – 57
North Korea is threatening a 'fire shower' attack. I fear they have figured out a way to remotely flush our toilets. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 56
You can take my pants, but you'll never take my...actually, no, carry on, I'd like to see where you're going with this. @rsmallbone (rsmallbone) – 53
I am going to assume that what you said was funny, and I am going to laugh so you will think I am smart. @CranberryPerson (N/A) – 53
If only there were some way to harness the power of Twitter to communicate lunch choices. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 51








