After everything that had happened within the past twenty-four hours, most young hopefuls would have found themselves rejoicing, feeling triumphant over everything in which they’d managed to accomplish — yet despite what she’d previously expected, Nam Dawon felt nowhere close. Yesterday, when waking up, she’d expected the day to go down in her own personal history. It was the day of the talent show, and she was set to perform. Though she was no newcomer to performing onstage, it held it’s importance all the same — it was to be her first real performance outside of the theater, and goal number one was to make one hell of a first impression.
Most young hopefuls would have found themselves rejoicing, feeling triumphant over everything in which they’d managed to accomplish — yet Nam Dawon felt apprehensive. She’d dreamt of this moment countless times in the past, though she’d never expected it to come so soon. it wasn’t the suddenness of the situation that made her feel this way, however — it was the thought of Junyeong. After everything that that the two had been through together, Dawon knew that her cousin would love and support her no matter what, and yet... somehow none of this felt right.
Despite her feelings of apprehension, however, Dawon knew that he of all people deserved to be the first to know. He of all people deserved to be the first to know that she now had a chance of living out the dream in which they had once shared. He of all people deserved to be the first to know that she, despite her moments of weakness in which she believed otherwise, still had a chance at achieving her goals. He of all people deserved to be the first to know that he had been right. He of all people deserved to be the first to know that Dawon had earned an audition with NOVA Entertainment.
The bus ride didn’t do well to ease Dawon’s nerves — for the past few years, she’d always found herself prone to growing nervous within any type of vehicle (aside from trains, those were peaceful). It was a gloomy day; slight drizzles and dark clouds signaling an approaching storm. Luckily enough, there had yet to be any thunder, so maybe this would pass soon enough. For now, however, the overhead rain did well to help Dawon relax. Ever since she was a little girl, the rain had always seemed to make her very drowsy, often resulting in one long overdue nap. She wouldn’t fall asleep this time, though — there were too many thoughts racing within her mind to make any rest possible.
It was the jolting that woke her up — damn it, couldn’t the bus driver be at least a little more careful? Now then, where was she again? Right, right — she’d just arrived in Junyeong’s neighborhood, on her way to deliver the news of her audition with NOVA... damn. At least the brief nap had succeeded in giving her peace of mind. She was feeling a bit less apprehensive, though the uneasy feeling within her stomach lingered. Why was she feeling so nervous? This was Junyeong she was talking about; he’d probably be happier than anyone else about the audition, proud that each of Dawon’s efforts had finally paid off.
She kept a key with her, yet she decided to knock anyway. Somehow barging in didn’t feel like the right option at the moment. It was her aunt who came to the door, as expected, though Dawon didn’t have much to say to her. Despite her unease, Dawon did her best to display a warm smile, given that she didn’t have time for an interview regarding everything that had been weighing her down as of late. “Is he here?” was all she offered in greeting, though her aunt didn’t seem to mind. She had smiled — perhaps grateful to see Dawon visiting at all. “Ah, I think he’s playing games in his room again, but you can go on in. He’ll be happy to see you, Dawon.”
Yeah, happy was certainly the word for it. Dawon could only pray that things would turn out to be as cheerful as her aunt seemed to think — she could only pray that Junyeong wouldn’t be upset. She hesitated for a moment outside of his bedroom door, though she knew she wouldn’t be able to wait forever. Even if she chose to walk away this very instant, she’d still have to own up to the news eventually. Taking a deep breath as she began raising her hand, Dawon braced herself for what was soon to come. Once she was finally ready, she knocked on the door.
“Come in!”
The very moment she heard his voice, Dawon’s mood shifted entirely. No longer feeling as though she had any true reason to be afraid, opening the door proved to be easy. After entering, Dawon immediately broke out into a brief fit of laughter. She’d almost stepped on the boy’s dirty clothes, and somehow she wasn’t even surprised. Junyeong had never been the type to pick up after himself. ‘An empty room is a sign of an empty mind,’ he had always argued — though just how picking up your dirty laundry signified an empty mind, Dawon wasn’t sure. “You really do need to start cleaning up after yourself, Junyeong,” she expressed in between laughs.
“Aah, if you want me to start now, you’re just kidding yourself. An empty room is a sign of an empty mind, Dawon! I thought we’d been over this,” he called from his desk, offering up a laugh of his own. In truth, they had been over this, though that wasn’t going to stop Dawon from teasing him about it during each of her visits. As if out of habit, Dawon had already begun to pick up what clothes remained scattered across the floor — but she didn’t mind. Following the accident, she’d grown accustomed to this sort of thing; after all, it was Dawon who had been there to take care of him in the aftermath.
“Shh, quit your excuses, I’ve already handled it,” she said as she tossed the clothes into a nearby hamper. “You know, this would be a lot easier if you just threw them into the hamper yourself — like if it were basketball! But you never have liked basketball, so,” she closed off, finally making her way across the room to pull Junyeong into a hug. He’d always given the best hugs, and somehow it did well to ease Dawon’s nerves further. How was it that her mood could go from feeling dejected to cheerful simply by being in Junyeong’s presence? Perhaps she’d never know. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too,” was all he offered up in response — yet somehow it was enough. She’d only been away for one short weekend, though it was the second one in a row. Dawon tried her best to visit Junyeong every Saturday, though this had been impossible during her time attending the summer camp. “Well?” he asked, finally pulling away from his older cousin. “How was it? Wait — let me guess,” he continued, another wide grin managing its way onto his features. “There you were, about to finally begin your camping experience of a lifetime, when suddenly — out of the blue, you were struck by lightning? With anyone else, I’d expect them to receive some sort of superpowers out of that — but not you, you’re too unlucky,” he joked.
It was true — it was no secret that Dawon had always found herself a magnet for bad luck. Luckily, nothing of the sort had happened, and Dawon was able to return home superpower-free (though a few powers would have been pretty damn cool). “Ah stop it,” she insisted, waving the boy off for the time being. “There was no lightning this time — I actually managed to have one good camping trip! I haven’t come home with any superpowers sadly, but...” she trailed off, finally remembering why she’d made this trip in the first place. With one glance towards the MYNAME poster on Junyeong’s wall, suddenly Dawon’s heart was plummeting towards her stomach yet again.
Damn it — Dawon hadn’t considered the fact that Junyeong knew her better than anyone, so it was no surprise when the joyfulness in his eyes shifted to that of concern. “Ah, so something’s wrong, then,” he began, lifting his gaze in an attempt to pinpoint Dawon’s point of interest. He offered up a quick laugh to lighten the mood before pressing further. “MYNAME?” he asked, curious as to why Dawon appeared so troubled. “What, do you not like the group anymore? I thought you loved those guys, but I can take them down if you want. Or are you just jealous that you don’t have that poster on your wall? Take it if you want it, but I can’t promise that I’d ever forgive you,” he expressed with another laugh.
He was only half right — her sudden state of unease did have to do with MYNAME, though it had less to do the group itself and more to do with the company in which they were signed to — NOVA Entertainment. How had she ever been so stupid to assume this would have been easy? Junyeong knew something was wrong now, which meant leaving it alone wasn’t an option. In her continued silence, it seemed Junyeong was growing increasingly worried about whatever Dawon had on her mind. “Is it relationship problems? I don’t know how I’d be able to help, but... if you think the poster will make things better, it’s yours.”
He deserved to know the truth. He of all people should be the first to know about this, no matter how anxious Dawon felt. “I...” she finally began, hesitation heavy within her voice. After taking yet another deep breath, Dawon finally braced herself for the truth. “After the talent show, well, I was approached,” she continued, reaching into her pocket to remove the calling card that had been left in her possession. “I was scouted, I guess you could say — by a representative from NOVA. I have an audition with them later this month — if I want it.”
For just a fraction of a second, Dawon could see the pain that was now present in her cousin’s eyes — no matter how brief. As a kid, Junyeong had always dreamt of earning a spot within NOVA — though due to Dawon’s recklessness, he had lost his opportunity forever. The pain disappeared as fast as it had come, and in a moment it was nothing but a memory. Still — it had been there, and Dawon was never the type to forget something such as this. In no time at all, Junyeong’s expression had already returned to its previous cheerful state — arguably more so than before.
“What do you mean ‘if you want it’? Did it only take one trip to summer camp to make you forget who you are?” he asked, suddenly in a more serious tone. “You do know who you are, right? There’s a mirror over there if you think it will help you figure it out.” Dawon remained silent for a brief moment, though in the end, she nodded regardless — albeit hesitantly. “Well, you could’ve fooled me,” he continued, his light and humorous tone returning. “For a second there it seemed like you’d forgotten again. In fact, for a second it seemed as though you’d forgotten that you’re the badass otherwise known as Nam fucking Dawon. Because Nam fucking Dawon? Well, I for one think she’d accept that audition in a heartbeat.”
“I...” once again, she was left speechless. He wasn’t entirely wrong — Dawon did want to accept the audition more than anything, though she wasn’t sure if she deserved to; after all, had it not been for her own recklessness, maybe it’d be Junyeong with the upcoming audition instead of her. Even so, Junyeong had already made it painstakingly obvious that if he couldn’t live out his dream, he’d go to the ends of the Earth to ensure that Dawon could live out hers. She wanted this so badly — so why had she let fear for what Junyeong may have felt hold her back? Junyeong wanted this just as much — or perhaps more, — for Dawon as she did for herself.
“Thank you,” were the only words she could manage as she wrapped her arms around her cousin once more. She should have known that this would have been his reaction — though somehow she was left surprised. He’d said all the right things to convince Dawon that this was, in fact, an opportunity in which she had to take. How had she allowed herself to be so blind and fearful of the truth? Junyeong was the whole reason she was still chasing her dreams in the first place; why would he have ever wanted Dawon to throw away what could potentially be the opportunity of a lifetime?
“You’re welcome,” he said, running a hand through his older cousin’s hair to mess it up. “Now, about that audition song...”
