shoutout to my baby cousin for being the single funniest human being who has ever lived
big family dinner, big room all to ourselves in the back of the restaurant. most of us haven’t seen each other in years. we’re getting rowdy. my cousin (20 or so) is telling a story about an insane coworker she had who convinced herself my cousin and her boyfriend were both in love with her and would break up to be with her. it’s long, it’s involved, it’s got jumpscares and twists and dramatic reveals, it’s great. we’re all chiming in like a greek chorus of commiseration over the terrible people we’ve worked customer service with. the story draws to a close, all the loose ends are wrapped up, unanimous conclusions about this nameless woman’s mental health conditions have been drawn. there is a single moment of silence out of respect for the camaraderie we’ve built together, before it’s broken, like a gunshot, by her younger sister (14ish?) turning to her and asking, in absolute earnestness, “do you think i should take up beatboxing?”
