#intergalacticbadwolf

[theaccursedninth]

🕯️

(inner thoughts meme from Rose and from the Doctor as well (any or all incarnations)).

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Rose Tyler...her very name shook the Universe itself.

'That was you, Malekith. You destroyed it.'

Yes...and he would carry that burden to his grave, should ever such a day arrive. Sometimes he wondered. Would there come a day Death finally caught up with him? Or was this, spoke a voice, his own voice, small and fleeting amidst the glaring Northern accent. Was this a work of the Big Bad Wolf?

He remembered The Last Day so clearly. Backed into a corner, facing down a monster who called itself a god (sound familiar?) and then a blinding rush of light and warmth...he'd never seen anything more beautiful. More powerful. All of creation, all of existence in the hands of a nineteen year old girl who risked everything to save her Doctor.

Was it worth it, Rose Tyler? Can you look upon my face and say you made the right choice?

The thought coils around his chest, squeezing so hard it nearly knocks the wind from him. She shouldn't forgive him. Not after everything he's done. He knows that and yet...when he looks into her eyes, sees her standing there just as she did that Last Day...he wants to run to her. To cling to her. To collapse in her arms and bury his guilt grief in the comfort of this powerful, beautiful woman. Would she hold me if I asked? Does she see the Doctor in me, still?

Did he want her to?

He thought he knew what it meant to be a monster, once. Nine hundred years old and so desperate to exterminate a Greater Threat he gambled the price on Life itself; the dice landed with unfavorable odds. He thought himself beyond hope, then--beyond salvation and certainly beyond love.

'You were a damned fool.'

Yes. He was.

[theaccursedninth]

✿ (Rose)

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Malekith is so very ashamed of the monster Rose Tyler found in place of her Doctor. While there is much about his former life he's either compartmentalized away or simply forgotten, he remembers their final day together with crystal clarity. She risked her life in such an unimaginable way, just to save his: the Oncoming Storm, the man who keeps running...the lone survivor of a race he wiped out. She wanted him safe, protected and preserved...was it worth, he has to wonder now. Would she have saved him if she knew what he'd become (did she know what he'd become, when she looked into the TARDIS' heart?)

So long story short, this entire blog stemmed from an edit I made all the way back in 2013, with a poem that went like this: In my dreams, I see her A fleeting face A memory But when I wake, I am alone And the war continues on I like to believe that while Malekith was in suspended animation for a thousand years, he dreamt he was the Doctor again, traveling across the stars instead of drifting along with the remainder of his army, awaiting revenge. I have to believe those dreams, while perhaps a little jarring at times, were also extremely vivid at others: reliving his adventures with Rose (and Jack) and maybe subconsciously creating a different ending to that Fateful Day. With her, in that dreamscape, he's happy again. He's living again. Maybe he laughs again as well. Underneath everything, the wars he's fought and the lives he's taken, the worlds he's ruled with an unyielding hand...Malekith wants to be the Doctor again. Imagine waking up after all this time and remembering what your truth actually looks like.