There’s a particular kind of hunger that doesn’t feel like hunger at first.
It feels like refreshing a page. Checking your phone. Re-reading a message. Wondering what someone thought of what you said, what you posted, what you did. It feels like a quiet leaning outward—like your sense of self is just slightly… elsewhere.
The image says it plainly:
If outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will hunger for the rest of your life.
And the unsettling part is how easy it is to nod along without realizing how deeply it applies.
Because external validation isn’t inherently bad. It’s human. We’re wired for connection, for recognition, for being seen. A kind word, a compliment, a moment of acknowledgment—those things matter. They can lift you, ground you, remind you that you exist in someone else’s world.
But when it becomes your only source, something shifts.
You stop asking, Do I like this?
And start asking, Will they like this?
You stop creating, and start curating.
You stop living, and start performing.
And the problem with performance is that it never ends. There’s always another audience, another reaction to chase, another silence to interpret. You can be praised one moment and forgotten the next—and if that’s where your sense of worth lives, you’re constantly at the mercy of something you don’t control.
That’s the hunger.
It’s not loud. It doesn’t announce itself. It’s subtle, persistent, almost reasonable. It tells you that you just need a little more approval, a little more reassurance, a little more proof that you’re doing okay.
But “a little more” never becomes enough.
Real nourishment is quieter. It doesn’t spike the way validation does. It builds slowly, internally. It comes from knowing what you value and acting in alignment with it. Even when no one is watching, even when no one is clapping.
And the hard truth is that you can’t outsource that kind of nourishment. No one else can decide for you that you are enough in a way that sticks. People can support it, reflect it, remind you—but they can’t be it for you.
So maybe the goal isn’t to reject outside validation entirely. That’s unrealistic, and honestly, unnecessary.
Maybe the goal is to stop treating it like food. And start treating it like seasoning.
Nice to have. Enhances the experience. But not what you live on.
Because if you don’t learn how to feed yourself—your own sense of worth, your own direction, your own voice—you’ll always be waiting for someone else to hand you a plate.
And that’s a long, exhausting way to stay hungry.
Website | Twitter | Instagram | Medium | Pinterest
