Jun 15
~ Personal Hygiene and Physical Training for Women, by Anna Mary Galbraith, 1911
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~ Personal Hygiene and Physical Training for Women, by Anna Mary Galbraith, 1911
Controversial opinion: BURN YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY TO THE GROUND
I can't take it anymore and need to vent, so buckle up bc here goes:
I have worked in libraries for over 15 years (4 libraries across CT in total) and all I have to say is this:
I pray for their downfall.
They're all corporatized, capitalistic hellscapes. The braindead, power-hungry fucknuts are still the ones in charge, bossing people like me (the grunts) around, while I get stuck with enough work for 6 people and only get paid to barely afford gas and food each week. The ones in charge get weekends off, never have to open or close, and I'm convinced all of them sit on their asses in their cushy offices all day and play fuckin candy crush or something. I'm 30 and I still live at home, which I have been made fun of before at multiple libraries, bc I can't afford shit. I bust my ass on the daily (baby, toddler, and prek storytimes, enough crafts for 50 kids each week, kids book clubs, kids pokémon club, 9'x6' bulletin displays, book displays, setup for events for up to 300 people, outreach, events, and tabling (with no mileage compensation) on top of patron help, shelving, program summaries, reference, opening and closing, and cleaning up after literally everyone else's shit), and I get no recognition. My talents and creative energy are constantly and consistently siphoned and exploited, taken advantage of, and belittled on the daily. I have no energy to do anything for myself anymore. My health is failing, I've resorted to drug use to help numb the pain and I'm now battling crippling addiction, I'm $5500 in debt from medical bills, insurance, etc on top of the $20k from fuckass college that has done nothing for me (drop out while you have the chance).
I started as a page at cragin in colchester and once they saw my creativity, they had me designing, making,and cutting up to 100 crafts a week and doing elaborate displays bc I had more creativity in my left pussy flap than anyone in that shithole has combined. I made my way up to library assistant (shitty job w a lot of ungrateful public interactions), then I became the storyteller bc I used to like working with kids (big mistake - I wanted kids before but now I borderline hate them bc these library jobs have taken everything from me). The children's librarian there (fuck you Jennifer) is an absolute bitch and I've seen her verbally harass one of the sweetest and most patient coworkers I've ever had (who is probably around 70 - Jennifer is 40).
I worked as a teen librarian at brainerd in haddam, where I was constantly harassed by one of my coworkers (shout-out to Laurie, you stupid cunt) that had seniority over me and was very offended that I got the job over her. She would sit on my lunch, take paid time to "review" my purchases (nobody asked or told her to do that), literally every book, and bring it up the the director if there was remotely any sauciness, drug use, self harm, suicide, etc, to try to get me in trouble. She talked over me, told me how to do my job, and threw bitch fits if I didn't do what she wanted.
Next there was douglas in hebron, which was probably the least detrimental of the bunch, but still shitty. Still stuck making a fuckton of crafts, doing all the displays, running take your child to the library day, opening/closing, helping patrons, reference, shelving, and cleaning - especially when covid first happened. There was a time I was cleaning and a giant plexiglass divider fell on my head and there was blood dripping down my face. All I got from the people in charge were "do you need an ambulance?" and when I told them I couldn't afford it (no insurance), I was ignored and made to work the rest of the day. There was also the time I was actively getting stalked by a patron, who one of my coworkers (fuck you Jean) let him into the closed staff area where he cornered me and touched me.
Then there was (I should say "is" - I haven't quit yet but I'm using up the rest of my sick time and, as a birthday present to myself, quitting effective immediately after getting all my shit and throwing away literally all my work so no one else can use it) otis in norwich. hired as a library assistant, get paid as a library assistant, forced to shoulder quite literally the entire department bc the children's head and assistant can't be fucked (I want to watch you die a horrible and painful death, Bethany) (I hope you DO get divorced and your perception of love is ruined forever, Melanie). Quite literally on the first day, after I told the children's assistant that I still live at home, she went and told the children's head who promptly made fun of me for it by using a children's book (one by Ryan T Higgins - one of those shitty, boring "Bruce" books - one where there was a bit about a bunny who still lives at home with his parents). I used to park 3 lots away from the back of the building where I was made to walk alone at night, now I get to park and walk across 2 busy streets where people have been shot before. I'm left to clean up people's lunches and food (who use the storytime room for breaks - the same room I have to prep for programs), I clean up after other people's programs (food smeared on the floor, chairs, tables, and counters, craft shrapnel all over the floor, glue and paint stuck to the tables and all over the sink), I'm the only one replacing the soap and paper towels that everyone uses constantly, I open 3 out of 5 days a week and close 4 out of 5 days a week all by myself (finding and fulfilling holds, picking up all the toys, straightening up shelves, wiping down tables, unplugging the fairy lights, locking everything up, shutting everything down), I do all those programs and crafts I listed at the beginning of this rant, on top of constantly shelving and helping patrons. I get no recognition. miss priss children's head gets on my ass about not having a spring bulletin up yet. I spend all week making textures and cutting fun designs and when it's finally up she doesn't even look at it. meanwhile the children's assistant has had her winter ice dragon up since November and hasn't gotten any shit for it. Don't even get me started on this one christian girl (the children's head is mormon fyi) I'm forced to work with who gets away with coasting through work and life in general (she just got engaged and a new car and decided to brag about it on slack of all places like, the fuck? She literally can't even legally drink yet). A few months ago, I told the assistant director I was burnt out, and you know what she did? She sent me a single corporate video on "burnout prevention", sent a link to psychology today, and then left like 2 weeks later. Then we hire this new chick (ironically her name is also Betheny but with an e for some fuckass reason), who ignores me when I say hello, interjects when I didn't ask for her help or opinion, and treats me like I don't know how to do my fucking job since she started like 2 weeks ago. When I start giving that energy back to her, guess who's made the villain! I literally just told her to "please leave me alone" (she had been nothing but bitter, icy, and condescending to me), she tattles on me, crying to literally everyone and now I have children's head telling me that "we all have to get along", and HR telling me to "go for a walk, keep trying therapy", and that the new girl "can't help it bc she's ✨️autistic✨️". So she can get away with it and it's my fault? We're using mental illness as an excuse for shitty behavior? So it can continue to happen? If that's the fucking case, I can make it waaay more abundantly clear that I'm cursed w BPD and OCD if we're gonna play that game. Maybe I can't help my response because of MY mental illness. 👼
People say "oh, libraries are perfect for creative introverts!". My advice is, if you're a creative introvert thinking of getting into library science: DON'T. Unless you were born with a four leaf clover up your ass and a golden spoon in your mouth, if you don't know how to manipulate and be gossipy like everyone else who works there, you don't stand a chance. Everyone in charge has their little cliques and will alienate you, haze you, and abuse you if they see you as a threat. If you have even a little bit of creativity, patience, or kindness, you will be stripped of all of that and taken advantage of. I have been reverting back to the monster I was and I'm a husk of my former self that I worked so hard for years to manifest.
Fuck libraries and fuck all the people who work in them, they're all fake and only looking out for themselves (yet they're hellbent on "teamwork" and "everybody getting along"). It's still only about numbers to them, just like every other job out there.
I want to see them all burn.
Libraries are a cesspool of shit under the guise of being "helpful to the community". It's all fake, the people in charge don't care about you at all, the new faces coming in are fucking useless and don't even know how to shut off a desktop computer, don't waste your time.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg, I have countless horror stories from working in libraries (making sure kids don't tumble down the stairs or balconies bc parents can't be fucked watching them, being blamed for a misplaced child instead of THE FUCKING PARENT, literally cleaning up a trail of shit that a patron left from the restroom all the way down the stairs, need I continue?).
Thank you to those who took the time to read this fucking batshit saga, if anyone.