I’m surprised I haven’t seen people talk about Nervous Energy that much, really underrated Alfred Molina film that made me sob uncontrollably (but sad queer movies tend to do that to me lol)
His Role: Supportive and undergoing inconceivable pain of having to watch his dear Tom slowly go through the trials and tribulations of AIDs. Someone you'd hope to have by your side in sickness and in health. Patient while understandably tired. The unprompted trip to Glasgow without him going or being properly discussed must have stung quite a bit, but he let Tom go, even knowing that it wouldn't go nicely. It's what Tom wanted.
His flashbacks to the past were... interesting, to say the least. There are two types: first meeting and them being much closer (if you catch me). Seeing him meet Tom, who was a biker at that point, filled me with much glee from hoping there would be a scene where Tom would take Ira for a ride, and he'd hold close to him. They do ride, but Ira doesn't cling to him sadly. And the other scenes? No full-on sex but very sexual undertones. You see plenty of naked Tom (past and present), plenty of ass and full frontal nudity. I'm sure plenty who haven't watched it but are a A.M. fans are curious about Ira's percentage of nudity (I see you)... the most you see is him laying in bed with his dear Tom and see all but his pecker. Which I'm thankful for, for me, seeing genitalia makes me uncomfortable for reasons not entirely known to me (my aro?/ace ass). So, seeing Tom's was a jumpscare.
Anyways a scene where, after going to the bar with his friends, sits and sings to himself while seeing a vision of Tom crying out in pain and begging for Ira made me tear up a bit. At the time of these reviews, I'm dealing with my cat's sickness and at times, I've thought about the idea if that if he could talk, would he be constantly begging for help and yowling about the pain? Obviously, he still could, but the thought of not being able to help with one's serious and fatal situation is heart-wrenching. I know a person going through AIDs and a cat going through Lymphoma are different, but this is how I relate. Ira has Tom, and I have my Sandy.
Seeing him go through and making a list of music for Tom's funeral was jarring. We forget what loved ones do for a dying person, getting all the arrangements, booking the funeral itself, and even the little details like the music. It just it me. Seeing him quietly work on that while Tom is in the hospital, not knowing if he's still fighting or trying to let it take him. All he knows is that Tom doesn't want him there.
He also abandons his radio hosting duties to be at the hospital with Tom. It's brought up a few times about the fact that Ira was going to interview someone that Tom was a fan of, and after all that happens, he stays with Tom. Someone else interviews him. A sacrifice, I'm sure he's willing to make time and time again.
When Ira finally gets the news that Tom is okay, it'll take weeks for him to come home, but he is still surviving. All Ira can think is that "he's coming home?" He breaks down crying at the thought of him being home with him. I'll admit I wanted to see him cry, just to see he acting chops, but it was so damn touching. Everyone at that hospital was so supportive.
In the end, it's just the two of them, in a hospital bed. Talking. Throughout the movie, we learn that Tom doesn't like kissing on the lips. But here, he wants to kiss Ira. I'm sure Ira would've loved that, but he knows his Tom. Instead, he says he wants to hold him, which is a relief to Tom. Holding each other close after a tumultuous time in Glasgow must have felt like heaven on earth. That's the last we see of them. The funeral is postponed, but we know the date will have to be made eventually. For now... all that's matters is each other.
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The Rest of the Film: Tom was really going through the ringer of AIDs and everyone terrified that he's developed dementia (which I didn't know was possible). Going on shopping sprees, buying the wrong thing, and lashing out when told such and just knowing it's his expertise, brutal. Watching his sweaty spiral didn't give me much hope for the end of this movie. Yet I was surprised. He doesn't die at the end, but it is heavily implied that it will happen eventually. But it was a pleasant surprise.
Also, why does everyone keep letting him drive!? He drove into a hedge!
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His family seemed kind of supportive at first. His mother really was the highlight out of all of them, she genuinely cares about her son and I'm glad. His father was hesitant about all of it, but he has been researching about his son's aliment. And Ian, his brother, was calm at first, throwing some shade until the point he snaps. This man really thinks his brother is just being a "theatrical wee shit"...
When Ira inevitably arrives and hears out Ian, Tom's brother, on what happened. While I understand his and his wife's discomfort; Tom messed up her kitchen twice, he went back to cook again while still naked (her very young daughters giggling) and he drove a rental car into their hedge. It was still crossing a line when he attacked him (one hit and brief crying but still), threatened death, and kicked him out in the morning. His brother is very clearly sick and disoriented and yet still does so. I do appreciate that he showed some care, but he needed more patience. What made Ian and his wife really snap? The fact Tom and Ira fucked in the shower? Really? That's what starts half his family bashing him for being born!? Wow.
When Ian turns up later to the hospital that Tom ends up after everything to visit. He still thinks he's being over the top. But Ira has had enough! He rightfully snaps at him, but still in a reigned in manner. He's tired of seeing everyone abandon this poor, suffering, and confused man who's been their for his friends, and his father and brother abandoned him ten years ago when he broke his leg. Why? Because they saw him with many gay men in the same room, I believe wearing leather.
I can't understand why Tom would want to forgive them. But it's not my place to do so.
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Tom's seemingly fairweathered friends. Again, this is a difficult situation, I understand. Yet they still have the gull to dine and eventually dash as soon as things get too difficult and embarrassing. Ira bringing up the fact that his friends are way more reliable, a bit of a diss even before the abandonment, but he's not wrong.
Thankfully, after being rejected yet again, this time by a leather Dom, Tom begs Ira to call his ex-teacher at four a.m., and she takes them in for the night. She seems really nice and singing was lovely but little too much for my sensitive ears. A thing, though, all this moving around could have been avoided if Tom allowed Ira to book a hotel room. But for some reason, he didn't want to stay at one. Anyways, we get a conversation between Ira and Rosetta, which is really devastating. Ira hasn't been tested for AIDs. He thinks he may have it, but not knowing if that's the case or not makes him feel stronger. Strong enough for him and Tom. He doesn't want Tom to be concerned with it, he wants to deal with it on his own. Just like what's Tom has been doing throughout the film. They both don't want to be weaker, they desperately want to be strong enough. But it's ok to be overtaken by the overbearing pain and devastation of a disease. It's not your fault.
As soon as they get back home to London, who shows up? All of their London friends! As soon as they get off the train, they are swarmed by them and head straight to the hospital. It was heartwarming to see the true family they have there. Nothing but helping and patient.
Heads up! A Romani slur is dropped near the beginning of the film. Very brief yet there. Also, mentions of Antisemitism!
