#irl conversations

[voxisme]

Me ranting about how I don't wanna miss a day of work because itll throw my schedule off

Stepmom: do you know what type of ppl those are?

Me:🖕(this was mostly silly btw)

[stardust948]

Me: I started that communications book you recommended. The opening sounded like an introduction to a cult.

Dad: That's because it is.

Me: You gave me a cult book to learn how to communicate?!

Dad: Welcome to Corporate America!

~

Me: *Complaining about work*

Dad: Do I need to make an appearance?

Me: No!

Dad: Say the word and I'll make your boss cry.

Me: NO!!!

~

Me: *Explaining how the problem intern had to quit because of work injuries*

Dad: Prayer answered.

Me: I didn't mean for him to break both his leg and arm!

Dad: He's gone, isn't he? Problem solved.

~

Me: They said I don't meet the minimum requirements.

Dad: Lie.

Me: You're a terrible influence.

Dad: I know.

[ne-rd-life]

On today's episode of real conversations that happen in my life:

[applepies-and-starlight]

"I need you to measure the cabinets"

"Which cabinets?"

"Kitchen"

"...Ma, that's where half the cabinets are."

[aetherdecember]

My friend, who I've converted to being an Encanto fan: Antonio, the best baby, wasn't planned, but was pressured by Abuela to be born to make sure the gift worked before any of the grandkids had kids of their own because she wanted to be ALIVE to see the gift still working.

Me, already familiar with that theory, ready with my response: Let me add, that doesn't cover any potential miscarriages in there. Can you imagine how much worse that would make it? Mirabel didn't get a gift and now the pregnancies are failing?

Friend: But Julieta? Could she not heal it before it happened?

Me: Her gift does have limits... Depends on the cause I guess. I haven't researched this yet, I'm literally throwing out angsty ideas for the sake of angst...

Me, five minutes later: After research, I have determined there are a number of causes not related to illness that can cause miscarriage.

[craneisnthere]

Jon, jokingly, while typing: “How do you spell... Doordash.” Jervis, taking him seriously: “D, o, o, r...” (laughter as Jervis realizes he wasn’t being serious) Edward: “Dash.” (more laughter)

[failedlogic]

Roman: All I get is attention

Logan: ...why

Roman: Because I’m loud as hell

Virgil: *laughter*

[sinister-sleep]

Teacher: What are some examples of Symbols?

Student 1: A heart or a red rose for love!

Student 2: a white dove for peace?

Me, deadpan: A skull as a symbol of death