Dec 22, 2020
Hi dimitry how are you
“Oh. Another random child. Hello I guess. I’m doing alright just annoyed with different askers and anons as you call yourself. Just waiting for Hubert to come back with a first aid kit for Soul.”
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Hi dimitry how are you
“Oh. Another random child. Hello I guess. I’m doing alright just annoyed with different askers and anons as you call yourself. Just waiting for Hubert to come back with a first aid kit for Soul.”
doodlin
straight up bullshit
“You Consume Me”
Fandom: The Boys
Pairing: Beau x Kristopher
Rating: Angst / Gore
Word Count: 3.5K
🦌: Credit to collisionfairy for this awesometastic fic it’s really good you should follow them they’re super great…
Blood was everywhere. Despite covering the surfaces in the basement in plastic, Kris always managed to make a mess. By this point, the cleaning up process had become monotonous. Nothing but a sense of numbness filled him, distantly aware that he was staring down at his own arm on the table, cut off at the elbow. The bloody stump had been a part of him less than two minutes prior, and now it was simply a prop. The sickly skin shone unnaturally in the light. It looked like it was made of plastic.
He waited as his new arm slowly grew back—the skin morphing and stretching inch by inch.
At least I’m getting paid.
When he had two arms again, he threw the bloody sheets away and covered the table with fresh plastic. As usual, he covered the limb all nice and tight and put it in the freezer for Beau.
Kris wandered into the kitchen, grabbing a mug. As the coffee machine whirred, he heard a muffled sound upstairs. A distant voice laced with distress. Had something happened to Beau?
Brow furrowed, Kris trekked up the stairs, stopping outside Beau’s door to listen.
“G-Go away, please…” Beau mumbled, voice slow and drowsy as if he was talking in his sleep. “I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry for what I did to you, please leave me alone-“
The words ended abruptly as Kris heard a rush of air in lungs and the creaking of the bedframe underneath his housemate. For a moment, Kris was frozen in indecision, but he thought better than to burst in on a private moment. With his lip caught between his teeth, he walked back downstairs and picked up the coffee, mind searching for answers he didn’t have.
His aforementioned housemate appeared a moment later, stepping into the kitchen with his long hair tied back in a bun at the back of his neck. Dundee followed, tail wagging and nails clacking against the tile.
Beau turned to Kris with a smile, though it faltered when he caught the plate of food Kris had begun working through.
“You already made breakfast?”
Kris wanted to roll his eyes but he managed not to. Even living with the guy, he didn’t fully understand how his mind worked. Beau loved to cook, it was his passion and his power, and any meal without him was a small betrayal.
“I was hungry and you weren’t up yet,” Kris replied, with an expression that said: Really, dude? It’s eggs on toast.
Beau huffed and turned to the stove dramatically. He took some ground meat out of the fridge, some part of Kris’ body he couldn’t quite remember. It all looked the same, anyway. It all hurt the same too.
“I could’ve given you an energy boost, if you wanted it,” Beau told him. With his abilities, he was able to manipulate the meal to boost energy or serotonin levels, which was great for early mornings, not that Kris had anywhere else to go. He didn’t need two jobs anymore.
“Didn’t need it. Why did you sleep so late, anyway?”
Beau seemed to freeze slightly as he shaped the meat into little burgers. Kris caught the muscles in his back tensing under the late morning sun. “I just overslept. Had a dream.”
“Oh.” Kris hadn’t fully decoded everything that was wrong with Beau (he thought there was quite a lot wrong with him), but this morning hadn’t been the first time he’d heard Beau talking to someone in the night. Someone who wasn’t there. “Bad?”
Beau shrugged it off, drizzled some oil in a pan and let the patties sizzle.
“What was it about?” Kris pressed, his persistent curiosity ticking in the back of his mind.
“Do I look like I wanna talk about it?” Beau muttered as the smell wafted into the air.
Kris wanted to ask more questions, but he didn’t know how to when Beau was being uncooperative.
Any normal person may have felt queasy at the smell of fried human meat, but so what? Kris, or Gecko as they called him, wasn’t really human anyway. What human could chop their own limbs off and grow them back?
At least I’m getting paid.
It was better than being tested on by Vought scientists. Than being nothing more than a lab rat. He remembered the cold lights, the sanitised smell, the white walls. He’d felt his mind slip in that place.
Here, he lived in a fancy house and Beau paid him well. It really wasn’t so bad. Sometimes, he even enjoyed Beau’s company.
Sometimes.
“Dinner at seven tonight,” Beau declared.
Kris didn’t complain as he shovelled eggs into his mouth. Beau always paid. “Which place?”
“New one on Broad Street. Asian fusion.”
“Oh, nice.”
“You can bring someone, if you like.”
Beau always said that. As if Kris had friends, as if he had a life outside of the weird back and forth between them. Kris had a sneaking suspicion that altering food wasn’t his only manipulation tactic. He could be slightly… controlling.
Kris just let out a little laugh, getting up to wash his plate.
Beau turned to him. “What?”
“You and I both know that I have no-one to invite, so stop asking.”
That seemed to please Beau as he fell into a comfortable silence, plating up his breakfast.
“You could always bring A-Train and Popclaw, if you wanted.”
“Why would I do that?”
“I dunno. Thought you wanted company.”
“I have company. What, like a double date?” Beau went on to say.
Kris cocked his head in interest. “Why would it be a date?”
Beau went silent in that simmering way he sometimes fell into as if he was about to explode.
Kris got up, depositing his plate in the sink. “Whatever, man.”
The silence was suffocating until Beau broke it, “Walk in twenty?”
Kris agreed and left him to his own devices, hearing Beau hum around a mouthful of his own flesh.
—————————
They followed their usual route. Dundee was treated as well as Kris, if not better, so his daily walk lapped around a members-only private dog park. Distant hills separated the sky with cresting peaks of tall trees lining the way. The sun shone down in a beam of butter yellow, so warm and bright that it felt like something straight from a dream.
As Dundee sniffed along the ground, tail wagging happily, Beau and Kris trailed behind, walking in sync. Beau didn’t always talk unless prompted, but Kris loved asking questions, so it was no bother. When he did talk it all came out in a blur, the words crashing together like cymbals. That was the thing that made Kris so curious—he wanted to know why Beau was a nervous wreck all of the time. He had several tells—nervous petting, skin scratching and picking.
And Kris was slightly bored of this comfortable life.
“Hey,” he murmured softly, rubbing the back of his neck beneath his hoodie awkwardly. “Do you ever miss anything from your old life?” he wondered, raising his head to let the cotton blue of the sky consume him.
Beau was looking at Kris while Kris looked at the view. “Like what?”
“Like living with your parents. Studying. Being younger. Having a fairly normal life.”
“I miss home. I think I always will. But… I always felt out of place. I don’t think there’s anywhere where I could feel like I belong.”
“Not even with me?” The words left Kris’ mouth before he could second guess it. He lowered his gaze to find Beau staring at him, who quickly dropped his eyes to become incredibly interested in his shoes.
“It depends.”
“Depends on what?”
“How things go.”
Kris didn’t know what that meant. “Were you ever with someone, before all this?”
Beau froze slightly, fingers instantly latching on his coat sleeves to strum. “I was with people, yeah.”
“I mean something serious.”
“Not really.”
“Okay… Did Vought ever get you to work for them?”
“No.”
“Experiments?”
“No. It’s always just been the restaurant.”
“Right. But they’ve never asked you to make something specific?”
“I don’t work for Vought, Kris.”
“Right.” He thought a little longer. “Did you have… an accident? With your powers? Did you ever hurt someone?”
Beau snapped like a string pulled too tight, his nails scratching across his wrist in jagged, violent lines. “What the fuck are you trying to say?”
“Jeez, calm down. I didn’t mean to offend.”
Beau gritted his teeth around a mouth that looked ready to bite. “Don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know the answers to.” He followed Dundee into the treeline, and Kris was left to wonder what the fuck just happened.
—————————
Dinner was fairly fucking awkward to say the least. They had hardly said a word to each other that wasn’t about the restaurant. Beau could eat human food, but he couldn’t taste it, so he ate small bites just to be polite while staring at Kris as if trying to crawl into his skull and hammering him with questions about the flavour profile and various textures of the meal.
“I don’t know how else to describe it-!”
Beau rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “Should I get the bill?”
“I’m still eating.”
“Yeah, and you’re not doing me any fucking favours.”
It was Kris’ turn to be pissed the fuck off. “Why don’t we talk about what the shit is up with you and why you’re keeping secrets from me despite the fact that we live together and have no lives except for each other?!”
Great, well, he hadn’t exactly meant to blurt that last part out, but it landed in a heap on the table with a tired breath to follow.
Kris felt a slight heat start to prickle his cheeks, part embarrassment and part frustration.
Beau was picking at his nails again. “Why do you need to know every single thing about me?”
“I thought this”, he gestured between them, as if the vagueness of it could define what they were, “was built on some form of trust.”
“As if. You just like getting paid.”
“And you just like eating human meat so why don’t you stop with the bravado and tell me what’s really going on?” Kris had lowered his voice enough to not be heard, but Beau’s face went crimson as he glanced around the room to check no-one had caught that accusation. “Why are you acting like I can’t trust you when you clearly can’t trust me?”
When Beau simply stared ahead with no answer as if he wasn’t even worth the argument, Kris stood up so fast that the chair legs screeched back and all heads turned to look at him.
“Screw you.”
He walked out, letting the doors close around the sounds of people gasping and murmuring about him.
It’s not like he needed to help pay the bill.
—————————
Beau hadn’t expected for Kris to blow up like that, but he didn’t blame him either. He greeted Dundee at the door, petting him gently, but his eyes were distracted as he searched for any sign that Kris had come home.
“Kris? Kris? Are you here?” The words echoed emptily, bouncing off the walls to come back to him. The house reeked of cold loneliness. Beau shrunk inwardly with shame, shoulders hunched, arms crossed over his chest to hide his heart. Of course he’d scared away the only person he had with the ugly truth of his past.
He was a coward and a fool.
Beau trudged to Kris’ bedroom, but to no surprise, found it empty. He retreated back to his own room only to find the silence suffocating. His hands clawed at the walls as he slid down to the floor, knees against his chest. Shakily, he pulled his phone from his pocket and called Kris’ number.
It felt like it rang for hours. That he was stuck in a loop of the sound of being rejected. Being told that no one would ever love him, that he was a monster-
“Hey, it’s Kris.”
“K-Kris, I-“
“I’m not available right now, so please leave a message after the tone!”
A beep permeated Beau’s ear, but all he took was one shuddering breath before hanging up. When he dropped it, his phone slid somewhere across the floor as he dropped his head to his knees, sudden sobs racking his bones. He had no purpose but to eat, to consume—he was a beast. How could anyone ever look at him with acceptance, knowing what he was, knowing what he did to survive?
The sound of his ribs rattling, shoulders shaking, the hot tears sliding down his cheeks became trapped in those four walls that seemed to be getting smaller and smaller until he was stuck in nothing but a box of his own creation.
Suddenly, the door creaked open.
Beau lifted his head, eyes wide with fear and panic. Stupid stupid stupid he can’t see you like this. He wiped his tears roughly with his sleeves just in time to catch the figure standing there-
A pale, ghostly face with sunken, black-rimmed eyes stared back at him. Her rotting flesh pinched his nose, clawing up his nostrils to fill his lungs with decay.
Every time he saw her she looked worse—her body half eaten, her arms chewed off stubs, her corpse grey and sickly, the skin peeling, maggots worming their way through the grease-slicked strands to consume what was left of her scalp.
Panic shot through him. Beau scrambled across the floor into the corner by his bed to get further away from her, but she advanced closer. One step, two step, three.
“Beau,” she called out, opening her mouth to smile, showing rows and rows of black rotted teeth.
The tears came faster. Beau’s hands found his stomach where he scratched harder and harder as if the blood collecting under his nails would stop the ghost from pursuing him. “Stop, stop, please,” he choked out.
“Kris doesn’t knowww,” she sing-songed, tilting her head in a way that was unnatural. “Kris doesn’t know what you diiiid.”
“I can’t- I can’t tell him-“
“Maybe you’ll kill him too, will you, Beau?” The wraith stopped to stand in front of him, as close as possible, looming over him like an omen, boxing him smaller and smaller into that tight corner as his fingers dug into the folds of his belly.
“No, I won’t, I would never hurt him!”
“But you hurt me, didn’t you?”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
“I was just a girl, Beau, and you ate me.” Her voice turned monstrous before she lunged at him, her bony arms caging him to her open ribcage. He tried to escape but she was too strong, her skeletal hand clamped around his neck to force his head inside her chest. Beau struggled and kicked but he couldn’t get free, and all his eyes could see were the wriggling white piles of maggots eating her insides.
Beau wailed, squeezing his eyes shut and ripping at his guts. “Get off me!” He shoved as hard as he could, and finally, the body projected back from him. Finally, he was free.
He opened his eyes to see Kris half-slumped on the floor, eyes wide and hands shaking. “I’m sorry, you were crying and I thought-“
“Kris? W-Where’s…” He glanced around but the room was empty for the two of them. She was gone.
“You’re bleeding.”
Beau looked down to see his stomach slick with blood, his hoodie dripping with it. The next thing he knew, everything went black.
—————————
Everything hurt. The pain in his stomach was sharp, as if someone had pushed their hand in and tried to tug everything out. He was a series of pulp and strings rather than organs and bones.
Becoming suddenly aware of his body, a persisting ache lingered in his muscles, so he tried to shift in position, but it sent a rolling wave of nausea through him that was paralysing.
“Easy. Easy now.” The voice came softly like an angel.
Beau’s eyes fluttered open. Bright lights glared down at him as he squinted. He looked to his left and saw a blurry shape slowly coming into fruition.
Kris was sitting by his side, hand in his.
“Hey there…”
“Oh shit.” Beau tried to sit up and was instantly shot down by pain.
“Woah, take it easy. You’re alright.”
“W-What happened?”
He remembered, but when he saw ghost girl, he didn’t know what was real and what was not.
“When I came home I heard you crying and talking to someone, so I came upstairs. You were in the corner and you’d been… scratching again. You were bleeding so I tried talking to you. I put my arms around you so I could pick you up but you pushed me back, a-and then after that you passed out and hit your head on the bedframe. So I called an ambulance.”
“Fuck…” Beau was able to lift his arms enough to cover his face. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Are you okay?”
“Just embarrassed. And my stomach hurts.”
“Yeah, they had to patch you up. Will you tell me what happened?”
Beau looked into Kris’ eyes and couldn’t resist him any longer. “I will.”
He was discharged the next day but needed serious bed rest. They developed a new routine, of Kris taking care of Beau instead of the other way around. Kris having to cook pieces of himself for Beau was even stranger than their agreement before. He looked after him in a way that was far too tender and made Beau hurt in all the good places.
“There was a girl,” he began to explain, his hands starting to gently scratch at his palms. “Who couldn’t protect herself. And I… I was hungry.”
Kris swallowed, listening intently.
“I don’t think I need to explain what happened. You understand and it’s… it’s too much to say out loud. It’s a burden I carry that I don’t want to put down. I deserve the guilt and the shame. I deserve to suffer after what I did to her. She… She haunts me. I see her ghost sometimes, in my dreams, in real life. S-She was taunting me, when you came in. Scaring me and saying things I didn’t want to hear. I-I thought you were her, when you tried to pull me up, and I’m sorry I pushed you. I didn’t mean to. I thought you were someone else.”
He took a shaky breath, trying to not scratch too deep as the stinging ache of his stomach still prevailed.
“I should’ve told you, but I haven’t told anyone and I was… I was… scared. Scared of the truth and scared that you would leave.” He looked out the window for an excuse to not look at Kris. “You have every right to.”
Kris took a deep breath. Beau could feel the heavy way Kris watched him. “Bad things happen to all of us. Every Supe in the world has a horror story. You are responsible for your actions, but hell, we’ve all done bad shit and I probably would’ve gone crazy too if I had powers like yours. If I had never felt fulfilled my whole life.” His hand found Beau’s. “Do you think it’s normal for me to be so okay with losing my body parts so easily? With giving up parts of myself for you to eat? That’s a kind of sick devotion… and it goes both ways.”
Beau caught his eye now, like a moth drawn to a flame. “Both ways?”
“I’m not stupid, Beau.”
Still, the shame felt like stones in his pockets. “I didn’t think you cared.”
“I did. I just didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t know what you wanted with me. What you thought of me. Do you trust me now?”
“Of course I trust you, I just told you everything. Do you trust me?” Beau leaned into his warmth.
Kris’ smile reached his eyes. “Yeah. I trust you.”
“You consume me,” Beau whispered, eyes fluttering.
Kris’ hand slid around Beau’s jaw, cradling him as if he were something precious. Their lips met, and it was the soft, calm, perfect kind of quiet that brought peace to the war of emotions and paranoia raging on inside Beau. This brutal, honest acceptance? It was freeing.
He held Kris steadfast, hands slipping into hair, kissing deeper and trying to mold himself to him. Kris was already a part of him—he was woven into his very DNA. He was inside him, festering like a wound. Kris sustained him. He kept Beau alive. Alive enough to learn love for the first time.
speaking of #beau heres a doodle cause i missed him