there's something truly fucked about lucanis showing no interest in becoming first talon and even stating that's illario's calling instead, because he's right. it's explicitly stated that illario is a lot more like your average crow than the ones we get to know in veilguard. zevran would confirm this too if the writers remembered he exists. illario isn't a victim to their selfless idealism because that's not what crows are supposed to be. they're wealthy criminals, any "selflessness" they might possess must be bought. illario learned nothing but cruelty from caterina's cruel teachings and he's a better crow for it. he's not better person for it of course, that's not how you raise a well adjusted individual, and still it feels like caterina resents him for being exactly what she made him. it's just so unfair? she likes lucanis because he still cares, but she didn't teach him to care. he cares in spite (heh) of the things she taught him, of the violence, of starvation, and he gets special treatment for that. illario's the monster caterina wants to pretend she's not, and she hates him for it. imagine that! being punished for being someone's true successor. your own brother says he's entertaining the idea of becoming first talon only until she thinks better of it and passes the title down to you instead, but that never happens. and when you fall on schemes (because that's all you know) to earn the life you're owed, when you have to kill your own brother for it and feel horrible because you killed your own brother, his death is still not enough to sway her mind. one day he'll return from the dead, and again you'll scheme and it still won't be enough. your bother is made king and he keeps the crown he doesn't even want, the one he sometimes forgets he was given. and you get nothing but humiliation, he may even throw you in prison. my god. they'd catch my ass barking in the streets.
