be me. be in severe incapacitating pain that makes it hard to do anything besides lay in bed despondently, heavily tired, and feeling like you are being stabbed. explain your symptoms to your stepfather, who automatically assumes it is caused by ✨the mold✨and then uses it to further his mold neuroses, which has been happening for MONTHS and has overturned the lives of the entire family. (In this instance, he is wrong.) ask him for pain reliever, assuming that what he gives you is just Tylenol or something, because you trust the man who has been your legal guardian for over a decade to not drug you.
take his medication, feel slowly better over the course of several hours. get random bursts of energy over the course of those several hours, and a vague buzz in the head that makes you want stimulation and also makes it hard to focus. You feel kind of strange and overly happy, but it’s probably just some combination of neurodivergence/not being in pain anymore, right?
ask to borrow the car, because your car doesn’t have plates at the moment, and can’t be driven places. Find out that you’re not actually allowed to drive, because that pain reliever he gave you? Was codeine. because obviously, everyone has codeine on hand in their medicine cabinet instead of aspirin or something. His reasoning? It’s what he had on hand, he gave you a small dose, and you don’t take it often so it’s not addictive anyways. This was only explained to you several hours after the drug was given. (In his defense, he is going through the mental illness gauntlet right now and it is messing with him and his ability to think very deeply.)
anyways. now that I actually understand what is happening in my brain I don’t like it. I am not trusting the man with medication again unless I see with my own eyes the bottle he takes it from. I also have to go take public transport to the aerial studio, which is actually normal for me and will give me time to read and write, which is good. however I do not like being drugged, even if it is mild.
