mush

20, he/him

[mushed-kid]

a fully finished sentence has nothing on me and a couple hundred commas

[manzini]

ilya finds out cliff fans online are calling themselves cliffnation and he never lets it go. he is telling people he has dual citizenship: russia and cliffnation. he actually can’t get a speeding ticket because he has diplomatic immunity as an ambassador of cliffnation. all i do is win is the national anthem. the capital is marleauville.

[marmelade-sky]

I think Marleau would let Ilya's coming-out inspire him to give gay stuff a try. He'd be like well if Roz likes it there's gotta be something to it. My boy has good taste, after all. Better give it a spin to see what it's all about.

[extrabigsuperlargeboobs]

Marlow: Hollander can’t be good at EVERYTHING, maybe he’s a bad kisser?

Ilya: no he’s good at that too 🫤

Marlow: 🤨

[grabmyboner]

[jumpingd33r]

[shieldofiron]

Ilya: You think I do not know this? I am listening to him at a high rate.

[grabmyboner]

[barbie-verse]

heated rivalry twitter (43/?) marley and roz

[hr-rep]

Ilya and Cliff get married during Ilya’s bachelor party in Vegas. They’re thinking of it as a bro’s forever wedding. They are so drunk that they don’t realize it’s real.

When he find’s out, Shane is like. YOU are fixing this and I am staying with my parents until you do. He leaves the house and starts laughing the second he’s in the car. It’s so them, it’s so Ilya. Shane loves this stupid, goofy man.

He’s so relentlessly amused by this but he can’t tell Ilya that, not yet, no, first he’s gotta send out a mass message of Hi! Ilya and I are postponing our wedding because Ilya may or may not need to get a divorce from Cliff Marleau before we can get married. We will send out invitations with new date as soon as we can. Best wishes! Shane Hollander

(He ignores the dozens of phone calls & texts that meet hit his phone the second he sends that message) (that’s a later Shane problem)

(Shane calls Ilya every night, asking for updates and to see how he’s doing. He is never angry nor is he hurt, he’s just firm about You are Fixing This Mess)

Ilya has never worked faster to resolve something in his life. He spends an amount of money that would make any sane person flinch. Shane sees him three days later with a bouquet in one hand and in the other proof of dissolution of marriage.

They only get married 4 days behind schedule.

[lavenderprose]

[Cliff Marleau voice] Yeah I mean none of us were really surprised that Rozy is bisexual. He takes off his shirt the girl way. Kind of hot, to be honest. Wait this is off the record right.

[sinmonger]

Heated Rivalry + Reductress/The Onion headlines

[hudconvent]

i really am tickled by the idea of scott hunter being canonically only 3 yrs older than ilya and catching stray after stray for being old. yet also in my mind cliff is fully in his mid 30s when ilya is a rookie and whenever they get drunk together cliff gets emotional and is like “do you think im washed lil bro…..” and ilya is like “NO are you kidding me……you are stud…..just now in your prime…..”

[mushed-kid]

i love you

yay i love you too

[mushed-kid]

you’re one of my first 5 followers thank you mush

wow thats so cool !

[mushed-kid]

Re: eating straight brown sugar. There's recipes for brown sugar cookies that are like the most socially acceptable way to basically eat brown sugar

ive never had that... but i think straight brown sugar is probably better its so good

[sultanaccount]

It’s okay to message me a paragraph of how much you’re obsessed with me