my inner life has been so powerful throughout my life but has been only experienced by me that it's almost incomprehensible to me to this day that I've been nothing to everyone else the entirely of my life. It transcends comprehension.My life has been so rich and complex especially on the inward, and it's almost fatal to me when I think about how proudly complex this inner life is and knowing it's only ever been relevant to me or known by me that I have to dumb it down or else it would devour me. And the odd devestarion that comes with knowing that no one has shared in this experience as equally crushing. This oddly leads to a sense of either the options of a life that is too simple with the ignoring of how complex it's truly been, or it leads to a life complex and profound only experienced by me, and even more aggravating is that despite the world being determined to tell me it cares nothing for me or what I experience, it's a dull and flat world that I allow to silence and subdue the complex life I've experienced.
All this life, all this creativity and experience and profound humanity just to mask for the sake of being a robot in regards to what other people see. It is a spiritual inner suffering that is becoming intolerable.
