a/n: @frostyleegraham sent me these prompts on twitter! here’s #20, beardogs style.
Nigel closes his truck door and stares at the roof. He blinks, then keeps staring. Rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, and yes, it’s still there. Both the decorations and the roof which, considering Lee’s house-husbanding prowess, Nigel should be grateful their home survived while he was at work.
There are very few times Nigel has been struck speechless in his life. This could possibly be the first time--his memories are hazy up until his forties.
“Well?” Lee shouts from where he sits on the shingles. “What do you think?”
“I’m not sure I fucking am right now.”
Lee inches his way down toward the edge, a crab walk on a slide. “Can you read it?”
Nigel turns his construction helmet in his hands like he’s still driving. “That’s part of the problem,” because there, in pink and purple lights--“You realize children live in this neighborhood, yeah?”
Lee grins and shrugs. “It’s a classic Christmas song!”
“Darling, there’s a cock on our roof.”
Nigel rolls his eyes. “Fine, two cocks.”
“Thank you for acknowledging my penis.” Lee laughs, then gestures at both his fly and the bulbous pink outline of a chimney. “Both of them.”
The truck creaks as Nigel climbs onto the hood. He reaches for his pack of cigarettes, then remembers he’s quit smoking. Lee almost slips on the ladder trying to get off the roof, because Nigel’s nerves weren’t frayed enough already.
“So what’s this classic Christmas song of yours?” asks Nigel once Lee is safely on the ground. “‘We Wish You a Merry Dickmas?’”
“‘Santa Claus is Back in Town.’” Lee jogs down the driveway--Nigel does his best not to ogle him. Even all bundled up, even continuing to recover, Lee’s the best snack Nigel’s ever had. “It’s by the King, you know?”
“Elvis.” Lee takes Nigel’s hand, lets Nigel pull him up to sit on the truck. “Please tell me you’ve heard it.”
“Not fucking once,” but Nigel’s typing it into the YouTube app on his phone. “Is that really one of the lyrics?” He nods toward the carefully crafted letters on their roof.
“More or less.” Lee snuggles into Nigel’s side and hums happily when Nigel’s arm settles on his shoulders. “It’s a remix.”
Nigel plays through the song twice, if for no other reason than he likes the feeling of a content Lee by his side. “That’s some damn remix, alright.”
“I’m an artist at heart.”
“And I can’t believe you wrote that on our house.”
Lee brings his knees up and wraps his arms around them. “I think it’s cute. Pinterest-worthy, even.”
Nigel snorts. “I don’t see Pinterest moms going for, ‘Santa came right down my chimney.’”
“Hey, it doesn’t have to be dirty.”
“How’d you get it all to work? I mean, that neon dick is--”
“The dick is smoking,” Lee says. “The chimney is smoking. It’s totally smoke coming out of a chimney. Eye of the beholder.” He elbows Nigel as best he can and adds, “Dig a little deeper, grasshopper. All art is open to interpretation. Like...I don’t know, like how every mall Santa’s different from the other.”
“I’m surprised you think Santa’s going to fucking come at all this year.” Nigel pulls Lee closer, practically into his lap.
“One day of coal, 364 days of fun? I’ll take my chances.”
“Oh, no, you’ve earned an entire mine full of coal.” Against Lee’s cheek, Nigel murmurs, “And at least one angry letter from the Verger-Blooms.”
Lee presses his face into Nigel’s kiss. “I love Margot’s Christmas cards.”
Send me a prompt from this list (kpopfanfictrash . tumblr . com / post / 167140890336 / holiday-drabble-prompts) and one of the following pairings: beardogs, marlana, or shyan. I’ll do a prompt more than once, but not for the same ship. To keep track of the story and what prompts have been used, check #isawthreeships on my tumblr!
Crossposted to ao3. Standard messaging rates may apply.