Open Starter ❣
When Hearts Boxcars woke up at the edge of a big hole, he found multiple things strange. For one, there were no galloping, bouncing, whinnying ponies harassing him (this was a welcome change). Secondly, his entire body felt all out of whack. Third, he had no fucking idea where he was. And fourth, he was no longer thinking in second person.
Now that he’s been fucking hassled into a car and brought to an apartment that is apparently his (with two apparent roommates), these thoughts have coalesced into the singular goal of figuring out what the fresh goddamn hell is going on in this joint. Everything’s heavy as shit, his jaw is stiff as hell, and he has to look at the fucking sun to check which way is which. He never has to look at the fucking sun. It hurts his eyes. Fucking god damn it. He can’t even deploy his WRATHTUB. All he has is this fucking wooden axe.
This calls for further examination.
He starts by pulling up manhole covers and checking what the hell they’re made of. They look normal, made of cast iron, but god damn were they heavier. How the hell. Some kinda internal core made of dense as shit somethin or other.
In the present moment, Hearts Boxcars can be found trying to break a manhole cover in half and utterly failing. He’s cursing very loudly.









