Same person, just less ashamed and more authentic to myself 🎉
This is basically the "First Year Anniversary of this blog" post, very very late ;^-^
So, if you wanna read a long ass update about myself, my life, and what I plan creativity wise for this blog thennnnn, keep reading! Otherwise, same animal that hopefully plans to be more active ^-^.
Where, What, Why have you been?!?! WHY ARE YOU LATE!
OKAY OKAY, I'm so sorry for missing my anniversary I PROMISE I DID WANT TO DO SOMETHING !
However... life got in the way.
As always, I plan on keeping most details vague unless we're close... however!
I need to give some kind of taste of what the last 3 months of my life have been:
Moved to a new Apartment with my boyfriend
Had my first Valentines Day in person
Found out my Ex Roommate/Qpp and Ex Fiancé where dating after we broke up and apparently hated my guts for most of the time while living with me. Also Got engaged.
Punched a close friend in the face (and subsequently losing other friends in the process)
Quit my Job
Got accepted into a class to get a Certification for my Dream Job
Found out my Ex Roommate and Ex Fiancé have broken up after being recently engaged
And thats just the tip of the iceberg babey! This entire year has been a roller coaster admittedly, insane highs and lows... and even comfortable middles.
Weirdly.. all thanks to this silly little blog
That's right folks! I'm about to be extremely sentimental for my incest fetish blog and you're gonna like it /silly. This blog.. this year. I have met so many wonderful people and learned so much about myself, the world, and what it means to have authentic relationships with people.
Backstory time!
When I started this blog it's because my ex fiancé broke up and cut contact with me. It had been weeks trying to survive it, our relationship so painfully codependent that even to this day it still feels a bit like I'm missing a limb.
Dramatic I know, but unbearably true.
And, "proshipping" had always been a comfort for me since I was young. Reading and downloading fontcest fanfiction and fanart onto my phone in highschool, reading piles and piles of fanfiction of whatever toxic ship I was into at the time.
It was familiar, like a safety blanket. Even when I removed myself from those spaces, and kept my desires under lock and key and privately shared with only one other person. I never really stopped finding comfort in the taboo, in the disgusting arms of someone you aren't suppose to love as much as you do. But you can't help yourself.
You get it.
I spent awhile keeping to myself, trying to find a place I felt like I belonged in after losing the place I thought I'd have forever.
I started watching some cartoons! Rewatching old favorites, or watching new ones. The most recent one I started and finished was Gravity Falls.
I became hyperfixated on it, and the book of bill came out recently. I remember my old pinecest shipping days, and found myself drawn to a new ship.
Stancest !
I started devouring fanfiction, coming up with concept after concept. My brain scratched at the walls, begging to just. Talk about it somewhere.
I started lurking on tumblr, lurking in the tag finding familiar faces and finding more and more comfort in these terrible old men.
So I caved, and made this blog with barely a thought in my head.
And I posted. And posted
And posted and posted. Just screaming into the void, just sending asks telling people how much I love their fanfiction.
And... for once, people responded.
I have been on and off tumblr for a long time, and I have never gotten more then a few followers, even if I posted often and rode tags.
I have never felt, included in a fandom before. A lurker inherently, unable to push into being apart of something even when I deeply desired to.
Except... Here.
Here I have somehow found myself with 2 boyfriends I love, friends who have my back, a fire for creating, and a place I actually feel like myself.
Because, thats really what this blog has done for me. Give me a place to truly accept and connect with myself. A place to feel confident in trying new things, to create, to experiment with my stories and styles.
For many many reasons I won't go into, I have a strained relationship to myself. I have always felt trapped in who I used to be. Who people expected me to be. Who I thought I had to perform to be to be a good person.
This silly little proshipping blog, all you wonderful people bothering to read this far, all those silly little asks I would answer at work...
You've helped me be free <3
More free then I have ever been.
So, What’s the plan with this blog now?
I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve gotten more active again lately! As well as I’ve been drawing and writing more!
I’m still very attached to the fics I have wips of, and plan on getting back to them eventually. I also want to start posting more Blanksonas art too!
Basically, I want to be more creative again and unafraid of posting it. So I may end up posting more self-insert stuff, oc stuff, and then fandom things here or there!
I’ve also been working on other things, like keychains, commissions, videos, and other soical media things! Basically I am, trying very hard to move towards my dream life. With my Dream Job on the horizon and my fire to actually make art that makes me happy, I think it will all end up well.
So! Expect mostly the same and hopefully more art in the future!
Also! It’s me and @cravingpepsimax 1 year anniversary! Which has also been amazing.
Life is strange, long, hard, and wonderful. Like a penis… hopefully you wonderful folks will enjoy it with me for another year <3
Tombur is genuinely one of those ships that sort of stick with you even when you don't really ship it. c!Crimeboys did everything for eachother, unflinchingly loyal to the multiple ends, and even in death still ask for each other's name.
They're brothers as if it was written in the stars and their scars.
They share colors, yellow red and blue. So, I used it to show the 3 main emotions I associate with the ship. I also tried to use small bits of each color in each part so it flowed together
I tried to make the guilt feel claustrophobic and tight, unable to look away from whats happening.
Comfort is intimate, like you walked in on something you weren't suppose to. Gentle, and tightly held together.
Fear is distant, uncertain, lonely.
Drew a few scenes from Happy Pills chapter 2 cause it's my favorite chapter so far and I am week for Andy flirting with Ford and Ford unknowingly flirting back. I might draw more at some point.
