#itsinwaves.txt

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Dread And Longing! Dread And Longing! Dread And Longing! Dread And Longing!

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Just blocked someone for being judgemental about kinks I don't even have and even dislike seeing lol. Actually it's more than dislike I have a shitton of nightmares and intrusive thoughts about it due to trauma that even sometimes get triggered by these posts, but I still don't give a single fuck if people fantasize about it and make those posts. I know better than to think that means anything about that person morally. Or to assume that means they haven't also been through what I have or worse. Not that I care if they haven't, I really don't. You don't need trauma as a license for taboo kinks.

Also using weird as a disgusted insult really makes me lose immediate respect for one's opinion. If you want to condemn something you're going to have to rely on something better than your instinctive disgust and treating the standard of normality like it's some obvious, natural thing rooted in universal truth if you don't want to sound like a homophobic evangelical preacher. At least the word freak wasn't used, I hate that more than anything.

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Update on the horrible medical study that didn't even get useful data, it turns out it did after all!!!! I have one new diagnosis and treatment plan that isn't too intimidating. I'm not sure how big of a dent it'll make with my hypersomnia but it will be something and I don't have to think about going through that again, so I'm really happy and relieved. They really made it seem like they didn't get anything😭

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Wanting to sub partly to have an outlet for all my pent up emotions that want to come out through desperate sobbing and partly because I'm craving a context for it where it is wanted and not burdensome to the other person and partly because I want to be taken care of through it and partly to simply receive attention when I most want to be worthy of it

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Phew. That pinned was in my drafts all month. Relieved to have kicked it outside finally

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You don't have to read this to follow

Hi, I'm Vale. This is a personal account where I excise my thoughts and feelings on sex and romance that I can't express elsewhere. Mostly through rbs, but also rambly original posts. If you recognize me from my main account: No you don't.

I'm open to asks and dms, and new connections in general, although be warned I often treat online communication like snail mail and I'm shy and weird. I don't mind if you take a long time to respond, there's no pressure with me. I'm really only interested in people who are like 23 at least, late 30s at most, but any adult can follow.

I'm a relationship anarchist/hierarchy-rejector who prefers making things up together as we go along, wherever that leads us. I like when it's weird. I generally bring a lot of curiosity and enthusiasm.

This is a mostly text-post based blog, with maybe occasional reblogged illustrations, because I really don't get anything out of erotic visuals of complete strangers. It doesn't take me long to be attached enough to be affected by you like that, but I do have to know and like you at least a little first, it's just the way I'm built. My tag for pictures of myself is #itsinwaves.vis

The most relevant thing about me is usually that I have a very bizarre and unstable disability. It means I can't get out much, and have to spend a lot of time alone or my condition will dramatically worsen. It's unintuitive to understand and not possible for everyone to accommodate, so, long story short, I live a very different life from most people and it makes me weird. I don't take intrusive questions about it, I'm vague for a reason. I'm very passionate about other disabled people, especially the medical-establishment-hating anti-psych noncompliant doctor biters<3

I don't have enough kinks to create a whole into/not into list, but you'll probably see a lot of general d/s dynamics and sadomasochism. I'm much more into emotional pain than physical, though I love biting, grabbing, and overstim. I really love crying and light mocking. I enjoy being on either side of any of it. I like cnc and somno when I am in a specific mood but I probably won't reblog much of it. (It will be tagged.) I know this is all pretty tame but I promise I won't judge you for whatever you are into.

In terms of fiction, I'm very into mech/robots, sometimes aliens or vamps, and always deeply fraught and intense fictional dynamics. (This isn't a fandom blog, I reblog character concepts that make me feel something sometimes, tagged #characters). I write, and I sometimes share tiny snippets under #itinwaves.origfic . I don't take it too seriously, but I enjoy it.

Please do not gender me in any way, I'm completely unaligned and do not conceptualize myself as either feminine or masculine. I'm just Vale.

Last note: I find DNI's incredibly off-putting as a practice, and the only thing I will say is that I am a very passionate transfeminist, and I do not tolerate any transmisogyny whatsoever. If you post about gendered oppression using a nonsensical male-centric approach, I don't want to be around you. If you spend your time aggressively discoursing, saving "receipts", and posting/sharing call-outs, I also do not want to be around you. Thank you.

Everyone else: Welcome to my blog! Thank you for reading<3

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Oh wow I've been here for a month already and I didn't notice. Feels shorter than that

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I bet I would more straightforwardly enjoy being taken care of in contexts I just haven't experienced yet, though. I know so much about myself but there's a lot of me that I haven't had a chance to understand because I haven't had a chance to see it. Different situations and people bring out different parts of a person, and I am so keenly aware of how much of me is still waiting to come out, basically. It's kind of exciting?